Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Thief of Hogwarts

Ch5 Chaotic Corridors

by bluminous 5 reviews

Battle of the beasts

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Harry - Warnings: [V] [?] - Published: 2009-07-20 - Updated: 2009-07-21 - 3730 words

The Thief of Hogwarts

By: Bluminous

A/N: I don’t own Harry Potter

Chapter 5: Chaotic Corridors

“TROLL! In the Dungeons!” Professor Quirrell screamed as he entered the Great Hall, hoping to incite panic and mayhem to serve as the perfect distraction.

“Thought you ought to know...” He then fainted, waiting for the right time to move as he expected the screams of students echoing through the school.

The Defense Professor waited... and waited until he lost patience and opened one eye. He was shocked to see the great hall empty, and only a lone house elf looking at him in a strange fashion.

“Elf! Where is everyone?” Quirrell asked as he stood up, dusting his robes in the process.

“Sleeping sirs!” The elf squeaked.

“Sleeping?” Quirrel asked. “What about the Halloween Feast?”

“Is finished hours ago. You is sick?” The house elf asked.

The professor didn’t bother answering the question and checked on his watch and realized it had taken him too long to coax the stupid troll from the forest. The troll fought him every step of the way, as it longed to go back to its cozy spot abundant with deer and other prey.

Quirrel scowled and stomped back into his quarters, the troll forgotten as his master screamed all manners of insults at him.



“Wicked.” Harry said as he stared at a mountain Troll blocking his path. He knew about them from the books he read at the old man’s home and it they were supposed to be very stupid and slow.

Wondering about what to do with the Troll, an idea struck his head and the young thief’s face grew a smile at a chance to see a childhood dream come to reality.

Looking around to make sure no one was around, he threw the apple he was munching on to the Troll’s head to catch its attention. The thief laughed as he ran down the hall, an irritated troll lumbering after him.


Harry winced as one of Fluffy’s massive jaws bit through the Troll’s thick skin. The mountain troll, having lost its club earlier grabbed hold of the head that was biting its arm when another head clamped down on its leg.

“Go Fluffy!” Harry said, egging the large three headed dog on. This was better than he had seen on the telly, as real blood and gore splattered around the walls and the floor. It was a real battle among the two hulks and both had sustained damages, though Harry could tell the troll was outmatched from the start. This was better than Godzilla, and he had a front row seat.

“Ooooh” Harry said as the Cerberus’ middle head clamped down on the relatively small head of its opponent. The Troll tried to fight it off, but its two massive hands were occupied with the two head clamping down their mighty jaws on its wrists.



Harry cringed as the large dog broke the troll’s neck ending the fight. The young thief stood up and dusted of the crumbs of chocolate he had been eating during the spectacle.

“Good job Fluffy!” Harry praised the large dog and three heads barked out in triumph.

It had learned from experience that the strange human boy that regularly visited its room was uncatchable, and since it was not doing any harm Fluffy began to tolerate it. The Cerberus barely moved its head whenever the strange human visited and it even began to warm up to its regular visitor as the boy sometimes brought food to it.

“Bye Fluffy.” Harry said as he got off from his seat. The large dog merely barked and wagged its massive tail as it began to play with its new chew toy.


“Harry Wake Up!”

“Huh?” The young boy asked as he was shook awake. He sighed as he stared at Hermione, who once again decided to disturb him from his sleep.

“Honestly! Just because the teacher is a ghost doesn’t mean you can just sleep the whole period.” Hermione admonished her friend.

Harry looked around and realized that class was over and he yawned and stretched, feeling refreshed after his late night. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder and headed for lunch.

Hermione followed him and he stared at the young girl who had apparently decided that she was Harry’s friend. The boy who lived tried to avoid her and even used his ‘skill’ at times but the girl was relentless. He still didn’t figure out what the girl wanted from him.

“Why aren’t you with Padma?” Harry asked. Whenever Hermione wasn’t bothering him she was with the other girl who had a twin in Gryffindor.

“She’s in the Great Hall already, saving us some seats.” Hermione answered.

Harry nodded and continued on as Hermione walked silently beside her friend. Ever since she invited the boy who lived to sit beside her and Padma on that peaceful morning, Harry began to hang out more with the two of them, forming a study group.

At first the young boy felt suspicious that the two girls would want him to hang out with them without asking anything in return, but he slowly dropped his guard when he realized they were not taking advantage of him. Stranger still was that Padma and Hermione even began helping him with his homework which he regularly waits up to the last minute to finish.

Padma was very familiar with Astronomy (which Harry found to be boring) and helped the young Potter with his Astronomic Charts. Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy Professor, was not impressed with Harry Potter when she found him dangling a little toy ship in front of his class mates’ telescopes.

Hermione offered to help Harry with his History of Magic, as the boy never fails to fall asleep in Professor Binn’s class. Seeing the Boy who lived blatantly sleeping in front of a teacher, the other male students, even Draco Malfoy followed his lead and soon the History classroom was filled with soft snores and heavy breaths.

Hermione stared at her companion, well used by now to his silent and laid back nature. Harry still disappears for long stretches and no matter where Padma and Hermione looked they couldn’t find him anywhere in the Castle. The boy was as slippery as an eel.

“Harry?” Hermione asked.

“Hmm?” The boy replied absently, his mind focused on the food he was beginning to smell.

“I haven’t thanked you by the way... for helping out with Weasley.” Hermione said.

Harry quirked a small smile and didn’t bother to reply and continued walking while Hermione shot Harry a knowing look.

“I know it was you.” Hermione said.

"It was funny." Harry admitted.



“It’s Levioooosahhh, not Leviyoshah!” Ron Weasley mimicked the annoying Ravenclaw and his friends snorted and laughed at his impersonation.

“Honestly, no wonder no one likes her, she’s terrible.” The red head Gryffindor added.

A figure moved past him and he distinctly heard a few sniffs and watery eyes before the person before she disappeared around a corner.

“I think she heard you mate.” Seammus said as he began to feel sorry for the girl.

“Who cares? She doesn’t have friends anyway, now wonder no one can stand her.” Ron argued.

“Mate, stop it, that voice is irritating” Seammus said.

“What’s irritating?” Ron asked his voice still in the pitch he used when he mimicked Hermione Granger.

“Seriously, It was funny at first, but it’s really weird when you keep talking like that.” Dean Thomas added.

“I’m speaking normally!” Ron exclaimed just as a few Slytherins walked past them. The Snakes sniggered and laughed as they heard the ridiculously high pitched voice.

“Bloody Hell!” Ronald Weasley squeaked, literally. His two friends stared at him and began to laugh uncontrollably.

End of Flashback


“You’re almost late.” Padma said as Hermione and Harry sat on the seats she reserved.

“It took a longer time to wake him up.” Hermione jerked her thumb to the boy who was inspecting the food on the table.

As usual the young boy ignored his two companions in favor of picking out what he wanted to eat, and after making a decision he began to pile food on his plate.

“I don’t know why he keeps on sleeping.” Padma said as she scooped out a good quantity of mashed potatoes on her plate. “I mean he already gets enough sleep at night doesn’t he?”

“That’s just Harry.” Hermione replied, used to his friend’s strange behavior.

“Hey, this seat taken?” Michael Corner asked.

“Go ahead.” Hermione said pleasantly.

“Thanks.” Michael said as he sat down beside his roommate. “So how are you on with McGonagall’s assignment? I found it a bit tricky.”

“It is” Padma replied. “Thank Merlin Harry’s good at Transfiguration, he let me borrow his notes.”

Hermione was about add her own opinion on the subject when they heard a strange voice.

“It is not Funny!” A girly voice shrieked from the Gryffindor table and the almost all the students in the other tables snorted in amusement.

“Madam Pompfrey didn’t figure out a cure yet?” Michael asked as he stared at Ronald Weasley who was being teased by the Weasley Twins.

“I heard her talking with Professor Flitwick.” Padma said. “It says the magic has to wear out, and by her calculations it would take a week at most.”

“Why isn’t he confined to the Hospital wing then?” Michael asked.

“Madam Pomfrey said that it’s not a hindrance to learning, since he is physically and mentally well. It’s just his voice that’s the problem.” Padma replied.

“I wonder who did it?” Michael mused. “Because I’ve never had a more peaceful class in Astronomy with the Gryffindors.”

Hermione gave a knowing look at the boy who lived but as usual Harry was just relaxing in his seat, enjoying his food.

“I’ll take you on Malfoy! Name the place! “ The high pitch voice of Ronald Weasley rang out across the Great Hall. The rest of the student population sniggered on their food, and even Madam Pince was forced to cover he mouth with her napkin.


“Stay.... good Fluffy!” Hagrid said, tossing a large piece of steak towards the house sized dog.

The Cerberus eagerly bounded to the large piece of meat and soon all three of its heads were busy fighting over the food.

The gamekeeper nodded to Professor Snape and the Headmaster and the two drew out their wands and levitated the mangled body of the dead mountain troll out the forbidden corridor.

“How did it get inside the castle?” Snape asked as he covered his nose with a hanker chief as the stench of the rotting corpse began to smell.

“It was let in.” Dumbledore said as his eyes peered at the mangled body.

“As a distraction for the Cerberus perhaps?” Snape hypothesized.

“Possible... but the trap door has not been opened magically. I did not sense any spell cast on the wood and I can correctly assume that no one has gone through.” Albus replied.

“It is lucky then that the first Guardian managed to contain the troll.” Snape said. “Imagine the panic it would cause if the troll roamed the halls of Hogwarts while students had classes.”

“For that I am thankful.” Albus replied. “Quirell us getting desperate... watch him closely Severus.”

The Potions master gave a stiff nod and headed down the hall.

“Oh Severus?” Albus called out.

The potions master stopped walking and turned around. “Yes... Headmaster?”

“You forgot your hat.” Albus grinned.

The potions master scowled and snatched the hat from the amused Headmaster. He wanted to prick those twinkling eyes and stick them on the ceiling of the great hall.


“What’s that?”

Neville hastily covered the doodle he was drawing with his quill. “Nothing! Just uhmm drawing plants for Herbology... you know diagrams.”

“That doesn’t look like a plant to me... That looks awfully like Professor Sprout...” Justin mused as he peered through the fingers that covered the artwork.

Neville sweated. He used both his hands to cover the rest of the drawing body, where he conveniently forgotten to draw the rest of her clothes and used vines instead though they didn’t cover anything at all. Neville Longbottom had made his first porn doodle.

“C’mon Nevile! Let me see the rest!” Justin said as he tugged on the parchment.

The Longbottom heir panicked and in a quick hand movement worthy of a seeker, he tipped the ink bottle beside the parchment, engulfing the drawing in black ink.

“Aww Neville! You’re so clumsy!” Justin complained as his hands dripped with black ink.

“Sorry.” Neville said weakly as he let out a sigh of relief.


“The boy’s perfectly normal Albus.” Professor Flitwick said. “Above average in charms, but that’s about it. He had been reported to have played a prank during his first potions class.”

“Arrogant boy.” Severus muttered.

“What about his study Habits?” Albus asked. He knew about the potions incident, and found that it was purely accidental and over turned the hundred points taken from Ravenclaw.

“Like you can expect from any Ravenclaw, he always has a book and mostly stays in the library. He’s perfectly normal Albus.” Filius answered.

The Headmaster took a piece of Lemon drop from the bowl full of the sour candy and popped one in his mouth. “What are your impressions of young Harry Minerva?”

“He’s very gifted at Transfiguration Headmaster... he’s even better than his father at that age.” Minerva said, smiling faintly.

“That’s pleasant news.” Albus smiled slightly.

The headmaster bade all of his heads of houses good night and dismissed his staff as the meeting drew to a close. Harry Potter was adjusting well into Hogwarts, but he needed something to encourage the boy’s sense of adventure.

The Headmaster opened the drawer on his left and touched the silky smooth fabric of James Potter’s Invisibility Cloak. Albus smiled, knowing what to give to the boy in Christmas.


“You’re not going home for the holidays?” Hermione asked, disappointment clearly seen on her face.

“Well yeah...” Harry shrugged. “What’s wrong with that?”

Hermione was a smart girl, and even though Harry did not talk much about his life before Hogwarts, she knew he did not have a good childhood.

“I just wanted you to meet my parents.” Hermione replied. “They keep asking about you, you know.”

“Why is that?” Harry asked.

“Have you seen what she writes in her novel length letters? It’s always Harry this... Harry that...” Padma said. “And Harry’s eyes are so...”

“Padma!” Hermione shrieked as her cheeks blushed.

Harry stared strangely at the two girls and sighed. He had long given up trying to figure them out. Nicholas suggested that he could use the break as an opportunity to better immerse himself with the castle and to probe deeper into the series of protections the teachers had installed.

Besides, if he felt bored he could always visit the old man and Penny and play another round of spot what’s missing.

The boy who lived absently tilted his head to the side as a snow ball flew past where his head had been as Hermione and Padma Unravenclawishly started a snow ball fight. The fight escalated as other students joined in on the fun and soon it turned into a battle royal as hundreds of students took sides in the fun.

Harry was dragged out of his bed as Padma and Hermione demanded he see them off. Harry grumbled for a moment at being waken so early in the morning, but his good mood returned after breakfast.


“Hehehehe I wish I could see that old coot’s face... No offense to you Nicky.”

“Non taken.” Nicholas said as he leaned back on his chair and observed the sorting hat on his desk. After sleepless nights trying to activate the ancient artifact, he had finally succeeded. It was surprisingly hard work, as the old worn sorting Hat was completely immune to most magics, except for the natural ambient energy that a rune constructs gives off.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t get offended when you learned that Harry stole you from Hogwarts.” Nicholas observed.

“I’m always up for new experiences.” The Sorting hat said. “Since my creation, life became very dull after a thousand years and this is a refreshing change. Where is the little thief? I would like to speak with him.”

“He still has classes... he usually drops by from time to time so that he can irritate me.” Nicholas said.

“I do?”

“Merlin!” Nicholas jumped as Harry suddenly appeared beside him. “Harry, I’m an old man, please consider my health when doing that."

“You know what they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Harry said and the old man shot him an irritated look.

“Hello Harry Potter.”

Harry immediately turned to the sound and found the Sorting Hat alive... well sort of. “You can talk!”

“I manage to activate him yesterday.” Nicholas said proudly.

“Cool!” The young boy said as he leaned closer to the hat.

“I finally get to meet the boy who lived.” The sorting hat said. “You know the Headmaster had so many plans for you. Harry Potter.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Nicholas said as he exchanged glances with his young friend.

“What do you know of prophecies Mister Potter?” The sorting hat asked.


Your Father has lent me this cloak

I think it is time that it should be returned to you

Use it wisely

Merry Christmas.

Harry made sure that the curtains on his roommate’s four post bed was still closed before he slowly opened the package wrapped in brown paper and secured in paper string.

A silvery cloth fell out and Harry picked the cloth up and examined it. It was semi transparent and smooth in his hands and Harry wondered if it had any magical properties.

Harry slowly draped it over his shoulders, and the young boy’s eyes widened in surprise when he realized that his body was no longer visible. He stared back at his reflection from the floor length mirror in the room and pulled the hood over his head and grinned when he completely vanished from sight.


Harry whooped, and the he hastily composed himself when he heard the curtains of his roommates were being drawn. Open.

“Harry mate?” Michael asked as he rubbed his eyes. He was sure his roommate was just yelling a second ago, but he saw that the bed opposite his was empty.

Realizing it might have been a dream, Michael Corner went back to bed.

The door opened and it closed seemingly on its own as Harry headed towards the main hallway, a delighted grin on his face. The world was his to explore, without anyone able to see him. This was total freedom, and combined with his strange ability, he could practically have anything he wanted!

The young thief walked excitedly towards the Great hall, walking between students whose pockets were full of sweets, and he began practicing his skills.

The headmaster of Hogwarts had no idea or clue about the power that he unleashed inside the hallowed halls of Hogwarts.

Severus Snape felt a sudden chill in his spine and looked around wondering where it came from. He noticed that his fellow heads of houses felt the same thing and they all wondered what it was.

“It’s an omen.” Sybill Trellawney whispered. “It’s an omen of chaos and destruction. Be prepared.”

Naturally no one paid attention to her, and even Dumbledore continued sipping on his tea after a slight pause. But unbeknownst to them it was the second genuine prophecy that the divination teacher had predicted.


“I missed you so much! Look how much you’ve grown!” Emma Granger said as she hugged her daughter.

“I missed you too mum!” Hermione said as she hugged her mother back. “Where’s Dad?”

“He’s at the car keeping it warm, the snow is really falling hard.” Emma Granger said. She looked at her daughter who was happily following her and she smiled. “It looks like you’re enjoying you stay in Hogwarts.”

Hermione nodded as she smiled at her mother. “I do! It was not fun the first few weeks because of a few bullies, but then I met these two first years, Padma and Harry. They’ve become my friends!”

“You told us a lot about Harry from your letters.” Emma Granger said.”Is he coming to visit us at Boxing day?”

“He’s staying at School.” Hermione’s happy expression slightly diminished. “But he tells me he’s happy there!”

“What about the House you were sorted into dear? Ravenclaw isn’t it?” Emma asked.

“It’s the best house so far... at first I thought Gryffindor was the best since Headmaster Dumbledore came from there, but students in Ravenclaw take their studies more seriously.”

Hermione continued chatting about her experiences as they headed to the street where her dad was watching the car. Emma’s sharp eyes immediately spotted her husband eyeing up a woman who was buying magazines at a newsstand and she forced her face to remain happy for her daughter.

Dan looked around and his heart skipped the moment he saw his wife staring at him. He knew she had seen him stare at the woman and he continued to curse under his breath as his daughter and wife got closer into the car. He knew he was due for a talking too and he didn’t want that to ruin the festive spirit. Curse that woman in the newsstand with tight jeans and long legs.


A/N: Having fun?

Sadly, I had to delete all my notes for my proposed crossover story The Rift War Wizard (HP/ Raymund Feist's world)

From his website, he politely discourages writing stories based on his books, and I will honor that as I greatly admire and respect the man.

Darn, I was planning on a Mara (House of Acoma) and Harry paring. Oh well.
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