Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Fire Down Under
Fire Down Under
Harry finally gets his Harem! Right!?! Warning Major General Bashing! Possible Promotion to Lieutenant General!
?Blocked
In the slightly modified words of Sergeant Schultz from Hogan's Heroes (which I also don't own):
"I own nothing, I make nothing, I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing! Nothing!"
Ch 1
Harry wasn't quite sure what had happened.
One minute he was the hero of the wizarding world, having just defeated Voldemort and fulfilling the prophecy. He had killed off both of the Malfoys, as well as ending the Nott's, and Goyle's lines. The last thing he really remembered, he was on his way to try and talk to Hermione. He had seen Ginny and asked if she had seen Hermione. Ginny had told him that Hermione was "comforting" Ron for his losses during the battle. He was crushed, but he realized Hermione had made her decision and left him for the ginger human food disposal. Ginny tried to comfort him, and offered him a drink of pumpkin juice.
The next thing he knew he was in front of a goblin signing over all of his rights, vaults and titles to his... brides? Somehow, he had ended up with several wives as part of a harem? He looked and saw Ginny Weasley, Romilda Vane, Pansy Parkinson, Marietta Edgecomb, and...Milicent Bulstrode? He found that Ginny would become Mrs. Potter, Romilda - Mrs. Black, Pansy -Mrs Malfoy, Marietta-Mrs. Nott, and Milicent-Mrs. Goyle. It seems that by ending a line, he was responsible for both their debts (having in the case of the Death Eaters, given all their wealth to the war effort), and the continuation of the line. Ginny had convinced him this was the only way to avoid Azkaban and by signing everything over to the girls before marriage, the goblins could not punish him for the break in. He was still however banned from entering Gringotts, and was forced to wait on a bench outside with his wives purchases while they took care of business. In a whirlwind of taffeta and moldy lace, Harry had been brought in front of the Wizengamot and married to the girls.
He was now working quintuple shifts as an Auror, Quidditch star, night shift guard at Diagon Alley, Ministry of Magic employee, and attending events around the world as a celebrity/public speaker for a book that Marietta had ghost written for him. He was forced to frequently use a time turner to attend all of the multiple jobs, and satisfy his wives desires to be at numerous parties, balls, and events.
Due to the stress of such frequent time turner use, Harry was unable to even perform his "husbandly duties" in the bedroom on his wedding night. The girls had sent him out to the couch, and all that night, he had been forced to listen to their moans and cries of anguish. At one point, he had heard them beating against the walls as they screamed out their disappointment. Harry was a failure, everything had looked so bright after the war, but now Harry was despondent. Due to his inability to perform, he would not be able to have children with his wives, so his dreams of a big happy family were also destroyed.
Frankly, if he did not feel a sense of responsibility to his wives, he would just point his wand at his head and cast a reducto. Maybe he could have Ginny take out a large insurance policy on him, and he could be a little slow on the draw the next time he was fighting a rogue wizard?
He wished he could just talk to Hermione, she had always given him such good advice, but he was no longer able to contact her. According to Ginny, Hermione had broken things off with Ron and joined a coven of witches that were notorious for their short hairstyles, magical motorcycles, and lack of interest in "proper wizards". She still worked in the Department of Mysteries, but due to Harry's overuse of the time turner, he couldn't get near the DOM without feeling very out of sorts.
Harry sighed.
Harry looked at the modified Marauder's map/planner he had developed to keep track of his whereabouts and whenabouts. He saw that Ginny was working out with her Quidditch trainer, Romilda was with her potions tutor, Pansy was at the day spa with her masseuse, Marietta was supervising the pool boy, and Milicent was talking with the magical Pizza delivery boy. Harry had always wondered why she ordered each pizza separately, she had on average of 3-4 pizzas delivered a night. Ginny had explained that she simply had a large appetite.
Between his 5 schedules, and his wives' hobbies, he never had time to spend with them alone, or even as a group. He decided to make an appointment with them for next week when he had his first day off in 3 years that actually coincided with all of his numerous responsibilities, and decided he would get them all a nice present to make up for the neglect he had shown them.
Hopefully, he could find a way to stop using the time turner, and work out a way to make his family happy.
A/N I know, I know, I am a horrid bastard. I just keep going back to how naive and blindly trusting Harry was in the books. He forgives everyone and named his child Albus Severus for god's sake. Hell, if he had married someone besides Ginny, he would probably let MoRon "borrow" his wife for a while like a broom. He was so easily manipulated, and the fact that everyone seems to be writing H/Harem fics lately, this thought popped into my head. It seems feasible, and sadly believable. So yes, Harry is married to the fearsome five.
But!
I can go one of three ways with this depending on interest and feedback.
1. Harry gets his shit together and solves his cranial rectal inversion tendencies.
2. Harry works it out with his wives, and we get a JKR-esque "happy" ending
3. Harry gets bailed out of Hozkaban (tm) by a mystery savior.
Let me know what you all think.
"I own nothing, I make nothing, I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing! Nothing!"
Ch 1
Harry wasn't quite sure what had happened.
One minute he was the hero of the wizarding world, having just defeated Voldemort and fulfilling the prophecy. He had killed off both of the Malfoys, as well as ending the Nott's, and Goyle's lines. The last thing he really remembered, he was on his way to try and talk to Hermione. He had seen Ginny and asked if she had seen Hermione. Ginny had told him that Hermione was "comforting" Ron for his losses during the battle. He was crushed, but he realized Hermione had made her decision and left him for the ginger human food disposal. Ginny tried to comfort him, and offered him a drink of pumpkin juice.
The next thing he knew he was in front of a goblin signing over all of his rights, vaults and titles to his... brides? Somehow, he had ended up with several wives as part of a harem? He looked and saw Ginny Weasley, Romilda Vane, Pansy Parkinson, Marietta Edgecomb, and...Milicent Bulstrode? He found that Ginny would become Mrs. Potter, Romilda - Mrs. Black, Pansy -Mrs Malfoy, Marietta-Mrs. Nott, and Milicent-Mrs. Goyle. It seems that by ending a line, he was responsible for both their debts (having in the case of the Death Eaters, given all their wealth to the war effort), and the continuation of the line. Ginny had convinced him this was the only way to avoid Azkaban and by signing everything over to the girls before marriage, the goblins could not punish him for the break in. He was still however banned from entering Gringotts, and was forced to wait on a bench outside with his wives purchases while they took care of business. In a whirlwind of taffeta and moldy lace, Harry had been brought in front of the Wizengamot and married to the girls.
He was now working quintuple shifts as an Auror, Quidditch star, night shift guard at Diagon Alley, Ministry of Magic employee, and attending events around the world as a celebrity/public speaker for a book that Marietta had ghost written for him. He was forced to frequently use a time turner to attend all of the multiple jobs, and satisfy his wives desires to be at numerous parties, balls, and events.
Due to the stress of such frequent time turner use, Harry was unable to even perform his "husbandly duties" in the bedroom on his wedding night. The girls had sent him out to the couch, and all that night, he had been forced to listen to their moans and cries of anguish. At one point, he had heard them beating against the walls as they screamed out their disappointment. Harry was a failure, everything had looked so bright after the war, but now Harry was despondent. Due to his inability to perform, he would not be able to have children with his wives, so his dreams of a big happy family were also destroyed.
Frankly, if he did not feel a sense of responsibility to his wives, he would just point his wand at his head and cast a reducto. Maybe he could have Ginny take out a large insurance policy on him, and he could be a little slow on the draw the next time he was fighting a rogue wizard?
He wished he could just talk to Hermione, she had always given him such good advice, but he was no longer able to contact her. According to Ginny, Hermione had broken things off with Ron and joined a coven of witches that were notorious for their short hairstyles, magical motorcycles, and lack of interest in "proper wizards". She still worked in the Department of Mysteries, but due to Harry's overuse of the time turner, he couldn't get near the DOM without feeling very out of sorts.
Harry sighed.
Harry looked at the modified Marauder's map/planner he had developed to keep track of his whereabouts and whenabouts. He saw that Ginny was working out with her Quidditch trainer, Romilda was with her potions tutor, Pansy was at the day spa with her masseuse, Marietta was supervising the pool boy, and Milicent was talking with the magical Pizza delivery boy. Harry had always wondered why she ordered each pizza separately, she had on average of 3-4 pizzas delivered a night. Ginny had explained that she simply had a large appetite.
Between his 5 schedules, and his wives' hobbies, he never had time to spend with them alone, or even as a group. He decided to make an appointment with them for next week when he had his first day off in 3 years that actually coincided with all of his numerous responsibilities, and decided he would get them all a nice present to make up for the neglect he had shown them.
Hopefully, he could find a way to stop using the time turner, and work out a way to make his family happy.
A/N I know, I know, I am a horrid bastard. I just keep going back to how naive and blindly trusting Harry was in the books. He forgives everyone and named his child Albus Severus for god's sake. Hell, if he had married someone besides Ginny, he would probably let MoRon "borrow" his wife for a while like a broom. He was so easily manipulated, and the fact that everyone seems to be writing H/Harem fics lately, this thought popped into my head. It seems feasible, and sadly believable. So yes, Harry is married to the fearsome five.
But!
I can go one of three ways with this depending on interest and feedback.
1. Harry gets his shit together and solves his cranial rectal inversion tendencies.
2. Harry works it out with his wives, and we get a JKR-esque "happy" ending
3. Harry gets bailed out of Hozkaban (tm) by a mystery savior.
Let me know what you all think.
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