FicWad

Just felt like writing it..

I'm not a religious boy. But my family, the Wentz' are very religious. So I guess I pretend to be religious, the religion they follow is Catholicism. So what happened the past few days doesn't really fit well. I met this boy when in my new school, he is very popular, and I fell for him. I never thought I liked boys, but I really like him. A lot.
So I faked who i was, had a over night makeover and went in the next day and fitted in. For the first time ever, people wanted to be my friend. I got to be friends with him, and for a while, that was enough. Just being near him. But then I got mixed up with the most popular girl in school. She 'loved' me. I decided it was best for my rep, and friendship with him if I went with it.
So I did, for a while, then I fell and fell for him more and more, and I started feeling down. And then in school I wasn't myself, I used to be quiet a lot in lessons. And I didn't feel like taking part in any of the sports anymore, because he never did.
In the end I couldn't take it, I had to tell him, or at least be with him. So I walked to his house, in the rain, in nothing but my hoody and skinnies, by the time I got there, I was drenched. I knocked his door and waited, there was no answer. But I knew he was in today, because he was meant to be home alone today. I decide to go around back and check his room.
I get around the back of the house and I look in through the window, and see him. But then I see he's in there with someone. I try and see, and it's my 'girlfriend''s best mate. I look for a bit longer, then he starts to kiss her. I freeze. Then I take a step backwards and just space out. I felt a tight grip in my chest, and it was like I couldn't breath, but then a tear fell down my face, at least I think it was a tear. Suddenly I notice they weren't in the room anymore, then I saw him walking into the garden. I jerked my legs, wanting to run, but frozen,
"What the fuck Pete?" He says, and walked towards me, "Why are you here, watching us? Fucking pervert." I couldn't bring myself to say anything, more tears, I think. But it was still raining.
"I.. I.." I said.
"I don't care. You shouldn't be here, watching us, like the fucking freak you are!" He yelled, he seemed really annoyed, I suddenly felt hurt, I didn't like it, he'd never been this mad at me. "And you can stop staring at me in school too." He seemed really really angry. I suddenly knew I had to run, there was no other option. My legs moved and I ran home, and into my house, I was home alone again, it's Sunday, so they were at Church. I walked up to my room and took the box from under my bed, in it, a gun. I went and sat on my bed, placed the gun infront of me, and stared at it.
My mind was over thinking,
You'll never be with him.
You are stuck.
Do you love him?
If you do, it's not worth living.
If you don't, then you can make it.
Say yes to pull the trigger.
Make up your fucking mind!
Do. You. Love. Him?
I took the gun into my head. I took the paper and wrote on it,
"Do you love Patrick Martin Stumph?" Then thought, then wrote below it. "Say yes to pull the trigger." Then I got angry at myself..
"I will say.." I whispered, then screamed, "YES!" Then I put the gun to my head, and one slight movement, and my thoughts were cleared. There was no feeling of relief. But there was no more me. No more Pete.

Ahhh.
By the way, I know Patrick's name is now Patrick Vaughn Stump.
But someone told me it used to be Patrick Martin Stumph. So that's the one I used.
Hope it was okay.
Rate/Review if you read.
Love you
Christie,xo