FicWad

"Psst . . . Mae," Frank whispered as he passed a note to her in the middle of Mr. Betterby's lecture.

Mae unfolded the piece of paper without making a noise. Over her shoulder, Frank set his graphing calculator on her desk. On the note, Frank had written three equations with the instructions:

Graph the following equations in order. Draw each curve on a separate graph. You will need a graphing calculator for one of the equations.

Mae turned around and gave Frank a questioning look. He just grinned and nodded for her to proceed. The first equation was simple: y = 0. Mae drew axes and darkened the y axis to symbolize the vertical curve. The second equation was labeled: Polar r = 2(1-cosX). Mae reluctantly pressed MODE and set the calculator to POL. After plugging in the equation, the line on the screen formed into a cardioid, a curve that is shaped like a sideways heart. A smile crept on Mae's face as she drew the cardioid next to the vertical line. The last equation was a simple parabola of y = x^2, Mae drew the U shaped curve next to the cardioid and Frank's message was clear: I "LOVE" U.

"Aww . . . you cardioid me?" Mae whispered to Frank.

"That's not the exact word I was going for, but whatever works for you," Frank lightly giggled.

"I cardioid you, too," Mae teased.

It had been a blissful month ever since Frank and Mae officially became a couple. The days of people around them asking if they were together were finally over. Everyone knew and neither Frank nor Mae gave a care what they thought. Gerard had began a routine of picking them up from school because there was "no way in hell" he was gonna let Frank drive Mae home. Most of the time, Gerard let them stay over for an hour before he drove Frank home. The two were starting to become pretty good friends. Although, Mae knew it was just Gerard's idea of discreetly keeping an eye on her.

"I'm not going to Gerard's today," Frank told Mae after school as he stuffed his backpack into his locker.

"Why not?" Mae asked, playfully grabbing his arm.

"One of my friends is throwing a party tonight," Frank explained. "I haven't seen him since I moved."

"Oh," Mae attempted a smile. "Have fun."

Mae thought that with the ridiculous amount of time she and Frank spent together daily she would be content and happy enough to be apart from him sometimes. But she always felt so empty when he was gone. When she sat in her room by herself, she actually missed him even if she knew she would see him the next day. Weekends without Frank were dull and seemingly endless. She would sit by the phone waiting for him to call whenever they were off from school. At the end of it all, she would feel slightly embarrassed for acting so absurdly over the company of one person. She had never felt that way for anyone else, but that was just it; he wasn't like anyone else.

"You know what?" Frank slung his arm around Mae's shoulders as they walked out of the school building.

"What?"

"You should come with me," Frank invited. "It'll be fun."

"I don't wanna crash the party," Mae shook her head.

"You won't be crashing," Frank insisted. "You're with me. Besides, it's my opportunity to show you off to all the guys."

"Well, since you put it that way . . .," Mae played along. "Alright. I'll go."

~

"And where is this party?" Gerard asked Frank. "Who's gonna be there?"

Mae stifled a giggle. Gerard was starting to sound like her father. He even had the threatening glare with one raised eyebrow and a tightened jaw. On the surface, his eyes were throwing daggers at Frank, but Mae could see the layer of concern underneath.

"It's at an old friend's house," Frank assured him. "A bunch of people from my old school are gonna be there."

"Are people gonna be drinking?" Gerard knew Frank would be lying if he said they wouldn't be.

"Well, yeah," Frank sighed.

Gerard looked down at him disapprovingly. He had come to pick Frank and Mae up from school only to be told to go home so they can go to a party he knows nothing about. He wasn't having it. Gerard had been to those kind of parties and he knew Mae hadn't. Gerard almost wanted to just pull Mae into his car and lock her into her own room.

"Mae's not going with you," Gerard stated.

"Gerard!" Mae exclaimed.

"No," Gerard stressed.

"You're not my dad," Mae countered.

"I'm your brother," Gerard replied.

"I promise I'll take care of her, alright?" Frank cut in. "I won't let her leave my sight."

"Until you're drunk out of your mind," Gerard sneered. "Don't try to tell me that I don't know what goes on during those parties because, believe me, I've probably seen more shit than you."

"Don't you trust me?!" Mae asked Gerard.

"Of course, I trust you," Gerard softened his tone. "But I don't trust the other people who are gonna be there and, truthfully, I really can't say I trust Frank right now."

"Gerard, you know me," Mae reasoned. "Better than anyone else and you know I can take care of myself."

"I know," Gerard agreed.

"I won't let them make me do anything I don't want to," Mae promised. "You know I've never been drunk or high before. What makes you think I'll start now?"

Gerard knew it was true. When he had gone through his alcoholism, he regrettably remembered offering Mae a drink. She took one sip of his beer and immediately put it back down. He even laughed at her when she recoiled from the bitter taste. Yet, he often wondered what would've happened had she liked the taste of it. Would she end up as an alcoholic as well? Would she have quit like he did or would she still be battling her addictive demons? And it would've been all his fault.

"Fine," Gerard said through gritted teeth. "Go. But I swear, Frank, you better make sure she's safe."

"Don't worry about it," Frank reassured him.

"I will worry about it," Gerard snapped. "I'm driving both of you there."

It was more of an order than an offer, but neither of them minded Gerard dropping them off and picking them up from the party. Frank gave him the directions from the backseat as Gerard drove. Mae sat in the back with Frank, leaning her head against his shoulder with one of his arms around her. His hand made slow circles around her back, putting her into a dream-like state. At first, she was a little embarrassed to cuddle with him under the watchful eye of Gerard, but Frank knew exactly what to do and say in order to get her to relax. It was one of his many talents that Mae greatly appreciated. She didn't even notice Gerard peeking at them every 10 seconds from the rear view mirror.

They finally arrived at the big white house located in the middle of some kind of suburban neighborhood. Every house on the block looked nearly identical; from the neat daisy flower beds to the mailbox in the corner with its tiny red flag raised high. Mae could only imagine what the house would look like after the party. Apparently, Frank's friend, Steve, was throwing it due to his parents being out of town. It was the old teen movie cliché. Mae half-expected Steve to get caught the next day when his parents came home early from their business trip or whatever but, according to Frank, Steve had done this several times before without ever getting caught.

"Have a nice nap?" Frank nudged Mae softly.

"I wasn't sleeping," Mae said through half lidded eyes.

"Sure," Frank laughed as Mae began to yawn.

"I wasn't sleeping," Mae repeated. "But I was dreaming."

"Good dreams, I hope?" Frank asked, helping her out of the car.

"Heavenly," Mae couldn't describe it with any other word.

"Mae," Gerard called out from the driver's seat before they could approach the house. "Call me to pick you up, okay? Don't go with anyone else. I don't care how late it is."

Mae nodded and waved goodbye as Gerard drove off. Frank shook his head at Gerard's high maintenance attitude toward Mae. It was almost as if Gerard saw Mae as a glass doll that was on the verge of breaking and scattering into irreparable pieces. Forever losing its beautifully innocent composure with nothing left but jagged meaningless edges. Was Gerard acting on responsibility or on his childish needs to preserve a girl from growing up?

"Frank!" the boy Mae assumed to be Steve greeted as he opened the door.

"Hey Steve," Frank slapped his hand as a gesture equivalent to a handshake.

"What's been going on, man?" Steve looked from Frank to Mae.

"This is my girlfriend, Mae," Frank introduced, smiling proudly.

"Hi," Mae shook Steve's hand.

"Wow," Steve eyed Mae from head to toe. "It's weird not seeing you with Heather."

Frank forced out a laugh and Mae dropped her gaze down to the obviously expensive marble floor. Mae felt Frank's hand tug her own to try to lead her into the livingroom where Steve had entered. Mae suddenly wanted to ask Steve whether he had pictures of Heather just so she could see who she was up against, but she decided against it. She knew one thing; Heather looked good with Frank. She seemed right with Frank; maybe even perfect for him. Mae looked around unsuccessfully for some kind of mirror or an object shiny enough to see what her own reflection looked like next to Frank's.

There was a loud booming noise from the speakers set up in the backyard. There was an even larger sound system in the livingroom that was not yet powered. Mae could see the figures of teenage kids swaying to the rhythm of an incomprehensible song outside from the glass sliding room connecting the livingroom to the backyard. Each one giggled as they stumbled off beat, holding a red plastic cup in one or both of their hands; no doubt filled with alcohol.

"Where's everyone else?" Frank glanced at the people he didn't recognize.

"It's early," Steve shrugged. "Wait a couple more hours and then the real party starts."

Mae smiled uncomfortably. She had seen guys like Steve before. Rich, athletic build, and rebellious attitude. As judgmental as she sounded, Mae believed she had him all figured out. She wasn't acting on his stereotypical looks, but more on her own intuitive gut. The one thing she couldn't understand was why Frank would be friends with people like him in the first place.

"You okay?" Frank asked Mae as they sat down on the sofa. "You look worried."

"I'm fine," Mae nodded.

*

Mikey flipped through the channels absentmindedly with the remote. He didn't know why but sometimes when he thought too much he would just channel surf in front of the television all day. Maybe it was comforting to hear one second clips of hundreds of programs. It mimicked the one second voices of memories in his head. The crash of a door slam startled him as the remote slipped out of his hand. Gerard had just gotten home and he expected Mae and Frank to be tagging along behind him like they did five days a week, but this time he was alone. Mikey felt a wave of relief. He didn't have to hear their murmurs of conversation from the basement for once. It made him sick to his stomach whenever the couple was around.

He picked up his remote and was about to continue his thought process until he saw what was playing. It was The Lion King during the scene where Simba and Nala were playfully tackling each other as cubs. Their carefree laughter and happiness echoed through the screen; each of them oblivious to the fact that they would become lovers as adults. Mikey immediately pressed the POWER button and the television shut off.

"Hey," Gerard greeted softly as he took a seat next to his brother.

"Hey," Mikey repeated reluctantly.

"How have you been?" Gerard asked, knowing fully well that he had not properly caught up with Mikey ever since he returned home from college.

"Alright," Mikey shrugged.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you about Ashley," Gerard apologized.

"I don't care about it," Mikey shook his head.

"Just don't bring her up in front of me and I won't bring her up in front you," Gerard implied Mae.

"Okay," Mikey agreed.

"So Lilly's her name, huh?" Gerard grinned in a teasing manner.

"Yeah."

The corners of Mikey's lips finally curved into a smile. They never could hold a grudge against each other. Mikey turned toward his brother and began to once again ask and accept his advice on women. All was right between them, again.

*

It took three hours, about a hundred more guests, and probably a thousand cans of beers for Steve to declare the beginning of the "real party." The sound system in the livingroom was blasting beats so loud the walls were vibrating. Mae observed kids go from completely sober to completely wasted. The night had just fallen and there were already people slurring conversations with her and dancing on top of the diningroom table. Frank had taken her around to introduce her to his old friends, but he was doing most of the talking and the topic somehow always shifted to Heather. Mae had seen a girl vomit over the kitchen sink and a boy dressed in a women's bikini top asking how he looked in it. It would've been extremely hilarious had Mae not been so afraid of what was going on. She had never been to a party like that one and the only place they ever existed in her mind was in the movies.

"Having a good time?" Steve asked Frank, handing him a drink.

"Yeah, it's great seeing everyone here again," Frank replied, taking his first sip.

"You want one?" Steve offered Mae a cup.

"No, thanks," Mae declined.

"Hey Frank," Steve lowered his voice as he dug into his pockets, retrieved a small plastic bag, and placed it onto Frank's palm. "For old time's sake?"

"No, it's okay. I quit that shit already," Frank handed it back to him.

"Alright, but if you change your mind let me know," Steve stuffed the pot back into his pocket.

Mae breathed a sigh of relief. For some reason, she had been worrying all night that something bad was going to happen. She felt so out of place and unfamiliar with the environment that she also started to feel guilty of holding Frank back from having a good time. Throughout the time they've been there, she just kept to herself for the most part. She wanted to show Frank that she was having a good time, but it was hard to show it when it wasn't true. Frank sat her back down on the couch and began to chat with her about the music that was playing. His eyes lit up whenever Black Flag or The Bouncing Souls came on and he would even sing along to some of the words. Mae couldn't help but to giggle at his nasally off-key singing, but she thought it was cute. She watched Frank down a few more cups and begin to dance a little to the music.

"I'm really thirsty," Mae shouted over the noise. "Do you think there's any water here?"

"Hell no!" Frank slurred. "There ain't nothing here but beer, beer, and more beer."

Frank laughed at his own joke and continued giggling for no reason. Mae looked around and grabbed a cup from a kid passing out trays of alcohol. It was really hot inside and even the air was starting to feel warm. Beads of sweat fell from her hair and her throat had begun to scratch from dryness. She wet her mouth with a sip of alcohol. She hated the taste but she needed something to save her from dehydrating.

"Frank!" she heard the familiar voice of Ashley call out. "I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Hey Ashley," Frank made a goofy drunken smile that would've been funny had it not been directed to Ashley.

They began to converse and Ashley cracked a few jokes that Frank found hilarious in his distorted state of mind. Mae was more than aware of Frank being drunk but having him speak to Ashley so casually bothered her. It was Mikey all over again. She hated how she had to sit there and witness it right in front of her. Part of her wanted to just pull Ashley by the hair and kick her out of the party or out of her life for that matter, but more of her just wanted it to end without a violent confrontation. She didn't want to ruin Frank's night anymore. Besides, she wasn't even invited in the first place. But she couldn't listen to Ashley any longer. She downed her drink and reached for another. She didn't stop until Ashley's chatter became an incoherent mumble.

Mae had never been drunk before and she didn't realize it would make the room constantly spin around her. She looked around helplessly for Frank who was right in front of her. She made out his blurry figure and leaned herself against him hoping he would understand what she was trying to say. But she had forgotten that he was just as trashed as her.

"Frank," Mae whined. "I don't feel so good."

"Me neither," Frank whined back, wrapping his arms around her.

Mae looked around for Ashley, but she was no where in sight. She had disappeared somewhere. Mae thought she saw Ashley from the corner of her eye flirting with some random guy.

"My head hurts," Mae groaned. "I need to lie down. This music hurts my ears."

"Come on," Frank pulled her up by her hand.

It seemed more of a stumble than a walk through the crowds of people as the couple made their way upstairs. Frank was trying hard to concentrate on not letting Mae fall down the stairs while trying to keep himself upright. When they reached the top of the stairs, Frank felt around for the first doorknob and got a locked door. He tried every door until he reached the second to the last one. It was the only room that was unlocked and unoccupied. He led Mae inside, laid her on the bed, and locked the door.

"Frank," Mae called for him. "Don't leave me here."

She was looking up at the ceiling of Steve's younger sister's bedroom. His sister was thankfully at their grandparents' house and did not have to witness the scene her brother had created in their home. Her ceiling was painted pink with glow-in-the-dark star stickers scattered everywhere. The walls were lavender with painted flowers spinning around Mae like a shower of spring. Mae didn't even realize that she was lying on her back. All she knew was that Frank wasn't there and she felt lost in a blend of bright color.

"Fraaaank," she extended his name.

"I'm over here," Frank replied softly.

Mae shifted her body to lie on its side, following Frank's voice. He was lying down next to her with a kind of drowsiness in his eyes. He reached out to hold one of her hands and laced his fingers with her's slowly.

"I can't stand it when you're not with me," Mae slurred. "It's too quiet and I get scared."

"Of what?" Frank wondered.

"That I'll die from the silence," Mae couldn't even understand what she was saying.

"Oh but then the world will miss you," Frank babbled. "I'll miss you."

"Frank?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you wish you could trade me for Heather?"

"I love you."

Mae looked Frank in the eye to try to detect any truth to his statement, but they just wouldn't stop moving. She was starting to feel motion sickness in a still room. She made up her mind to just take his word for it. She leaned forward and kissed him on his nose, missing his lips. He shifted his head so that he could kiss her properly and somehow it became a drunken make out session. It was different from the short and sweet kisses they gave each other from time to time. These kisses were sloppy and fast. One after the other, hardly giving anytime for a breather. He stuck his tongue in her mouth for the first time and they tasted the alcohol in each other's mouths. Mae had to pull him apart so she could finally inhale some air. They panted from the lack of oxygen and she laid her head on his chest.

"Do you mean that?" she finally asked.

"I love you," he repeated.

She felt his lips press against her forehead as he laid her on her back again. He positioned himself above her with his elbows and littered her with more sloppy kisses. This time, his hands fell to her waist. His thumbs made their way underneath the bottom of her blouse so that they were touching her bare skin. In slow progression, his thumbs extended to his fingers which extended to his palms until his whole hand felt around her midsection. Mae kept her eyes closed the entire time, afraid of throwing up on Frank due to the spinning room. All she knew was his roaming hands and tongue. Frank began playing with the buttons on the top of her blouse. There was a slit on the front of her shirt to show cleavage which could optionally be buttoned up. Mae didn't have the largest chest so she always chose to conceal it, but Frank seemed to have a different idea. He undid the first button with some difficulty and moved on to the second. Attempting to unbutton it with one hand, he pulled at it too strongly and broke it off leaving only a trail of thread where the button once was. They both exploded into a fit of giggles.

"Frank, you make me feel like I'm worth something," Mae whispered.

"You're worth more than you think," Frank sealed his reply with a kiss.

His hands fell to the belt loops of her jeans as he fastened his fingers inside them. He tugged lightly and Mae grasped tightly onto his shirt. He moved his hands above the waistline of her pants and stuck his thumbs underneath. He began moving downward from her bare hip while still continuing to kiss her. Mae's eyes snapped open the second he touched the waistline of her underwear.

"Frank!" she exclaimed, startling him off of her. "Please stop."

She could see Frank starting to sober up as his careless expression turned into one of complete shame. He backed away from her and peeked out the door, keeping his back turned to her.

"We should go home now," Frank suggested, afraid to face her directly.

"Frank," Mae said in a whispered sob. "I'm sorry."

"No," Frank looked her in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

As the effects of the alcohol began to wear off, Mae and Frank sat a distance apart from each other while waiting for Gerard's arrival. Mae had given him a call, trying desperately not to slur her responses. When Gerard appeared in the doorway, Mae couldn't help but to run up to him and hug him for comfort.

"Hey, are you okay?" Gerard could smell the beer on her as he ignored his sudden craving for a drink.

"I wanna go home," Mae tried but she couldn't stop the few tears from falling down.

"Alright. I'm taking you," Gerard assured her. "You're sleeping over with me, okay?"

Mae nodded and sniffled as Gerard guided her to the backseat. He buckled her up and allowed her to lie down to rest. Once she was secured, Gerard glared at Frank who followed quietly behind him. He took the passenger seat and avoided any opportunities to confront Gerard. Gerard bit on his tongue to prevent himself from shouting curses at Frank and disturbing Mae's slumber. There was a deadly silence hanging in the air that made Frank feel even more sick. Frank began to relax when Gerard arrived at his home. He mumbled his thanks and began to make his way to the door. Gerard couldn't help but to glance at Mae's sleeping figure while the car was parked. He turned around and ran his fingers through her hair only to notice the second button missing from her shirt. Then he lost it.

"You son of a bitch!" Gerard hissed as he got out of the car and caught up to Frank before he could get inside. "I swear if you took advantage of her I will wring your neck."

Frank struggled to breathe as Gerard slammed him against the wall with his much bigger hands around his neck.

"Nothing happened!" Frank choked out, struggling desperately underneath Gerard's grip.

"Gerard!" Mae shrieked as she ran towards them.

Frank gasped for air on the floor when Gerard finally let him go. He could barely hear the scolding arguments between Gerard and Mae.

"It didn't get that far," Mae told Gerard. "I promise."

"Are you sure?" Gerard lowered his voice, pressing the loose thread on her blouse with his finger.

"Yes," Mae emphasized, gently moving his hand away. "Please, can we just go home? I'll tell you more about it tomorrow."

"Okay," Gerard gave in.

Frank's breathing was starting to return to normal as he leaned himself against the wall. Mae helped him up and hugged him goodbye as he entered his house and closed the door. Mae followed Gerard back to his car and said nothing more to him for the rest of the night. Gerard set up his bed for her to use and made sure she was fast asleep before he left her side to sleep on the livingroom couch. He was definitely going to take up her offer of discussing the party in the morning. He had already made up his mind about Frank. There was no way he was going to ever going to earn Gerard's trust again.