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Movie night


Steven: yay! Movie night! I get to choose the movie!
Slash: please don’t make it “ the underdog movie” like it was last time you chose the movie.
Steven: hey, at least you guys liked it right?
Duff: no.
Axl: no.
Izzy: I wouldn’t choose it. Anyway, what film are you choosing today?
Steven: um, “sixth sense”
Duff: I’ve already seen that. It’s quite good, but Steven wouldn’t understand the end. Its too cleaver for him.
Steven: why do people think I is dumb?
Axl: #1, smart people don’t say “I is” and #2, you’re a blond.
Duff: hey! I’m a blond!
Axl: now you know why you’re dumb!
Duff: up yours kilt kid.
Axl: up yours …um … up yours.
Duff: now who’s dumb!
Axl swung out to punch Duff but to miss and hit Steven instead.
Steven: what did I do?
Axl: I could’ have sworn that you where Duff.
Izzy: put your glasses on.
Axl: no you.
Izzy: I don’t have glasses. What is up with you tonight Axl? You’re being such an asshole.
Steven: movie’s on.
Slash: what did you put in?
Steven: Shawn of the dead.
Izzy: its about zombies, are you sure you wont get scared Steven?!
Duff: yeah, you got scared watching “practical magic” 2 weeks ago!
Steven: I wont get scared…
Half an hour later
Steven: ahhhhh! The zombies are eating people!
Duff: Steven, let go of my arm.
Nighttime
Izzy: Steven, turn the light out! I’m trying to sleep!
Steven: what if the zombies come here?!
Izzy: (childish) Steven, at the end of the movie, the evil zombies went away. You didn’t see that part ‘cause you where hiding behind the couch.
Steven: (ear to the door) I just heard a noise out on the landing!
Izzy: that was probably just one of the guys.
Steven: I’m not taking any chances!
Izzy: put the damn paintball gun down!
Steven: no!
He fired it out the door followed by a shout from slash and …
Slash: I’LL FREAKIN’ KILL YOU STEVEN! YOU DIED MY HAIR PINK!
Izzy: (laughing) your in for it now Steven!
Next day
Duff: pink hair?
Slash: the scared little kid did it last night.
Duff: Lemme guess. Zombies.
Steven: ZOMBIES?! WHERE?!
Slash: get a life Steven!
He threw his cereal over Steven. Izzy walked in with black bags under his eyes.
Axl: rough night?
Izzy: Steven kept me awake all night with … talking…’bout…Zombies…
He fell to sleep in his cereal and Duff lifted his head out of the bowl.
Duff: slash pass me that towel.
Axl: you where up all night worrying about zombies?
Steven: yeah.
Axl: we’ve got rehearsals today, and now we’re gonna have to cancel them ‘cause our rhythm guitarist’s asleep. Duff, can you wake him up?
Duff: nada. He’s out cold.
Steven: out cold? Cold like the living dead? Oh, god! He’s a zombie!
Axl: shut the HELL UP!
Axl smashed a plate on Steven’s head causing him to fall off his seat.
Axl: ZOMBIES AREN’T REAL!
Steven: yes they are! How do you explain crop circles?!
Duff: that’s Aliens.
Steven: ALIENS?!
Axl: thanks Duff, now that’s all he’s gonna talk about.
Slash: (reading a magazine) wow, there’s a type of bat called the Vampire Bat!
Steven: VAMPIRES?!
Axl: that sci-fi magazine really isn’t helping.
Duff: hey guys!
All: what?
Duff: Izzy’s snoring!
2 hours later
Axl: anyone seen Steven?
Slash: no. But I did see him go up stairs.
Axl: I was just on the computer and in his resent searches he put in “how to spot a zombie”, “the truth behind zombies” and “how to survive a zombie attack”.
Slash: he seriously needs help.
Duff: Izzy still hasn’t woken up yet.
Slash: why are you staying with him? He’s only asleep.
Duff: its fun to hear what he’s got to say.
Axl: what do you mean?
Duff: he talks in his sleep. So far he’s talked about Zombies, Kate Bush and his dog.
Slash: where is his dog anyway?
Axl: Steven locked it in the cupboard under the stairs ‘cause he thought it was a werewolf just because it was howling.
Slash: what did he say about zombies?
Duff: that they aren’t real.
Slash: is that it?
Duff: half the time I wasn’t paying attention. I was watching Steven turn his and Izzy’s room into some sort of sci-fi room.
Axl: Lemme guess. He’s covered the whole room with foil?
Duff: yeah.
Slash: just think what he would have been like if we had watched “sixth sense”. He’d leave all the lights on in the house and try to buy an ouija board.
Izzy: little help here please.
Everyone turned around to see Izzy standing in the doorway, wrapped in tin foil.
Slash: had a good dream about Kate Bush?
Izzy: yeah, thank…wait, how did you know about that?
Slash: you talk in your sleep!
Izzy: (embarrassed) anyway, where’s my dog?
Axl: Steven locked it in the cupboard under the stairs.
Then his dog started to bark.
Izzy: I’m coming!
He fell over not able to move ‘cause of all the foil and slash burst out laughing. Everyone stared at him
Slash: sorry.
Axl: (helping Izzy) WTF does Steven think he’s doing? Tin foil has nothing to do with Zombies.
Duff: I think the foil has something to do with trying to stop Aliens controlling minds.
Axl: aliens? What now. Vampires? Werewolves?
Slash: he already did something about werewolves. Izzy’s dog.
Axl: oh, right.
Steven: I’ve done my good deed for the day!
Duff: (sigh) what is it?
Steven: I’ve covered all your rooms with foil, garlic and Blackout curtains!
Slash: Blackout curtains?
Steven: yeah! So when it’s a full moon, none of you will turn into werewolves!
Axl: THAT’S IT! THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!
1 hour later
Steven: oh, my head…wha? …Where am I? Guys? GUYS?
Steven was in pitch-black banging against a door. He tried to stand up but hit his head on the ceiling. Axl, Slash, Duff and Izzy where laughing out side and Izzy’s dog howled.
Steven: where am I?
Izzy: under the stairs! Now you know how my dog felt!
Axl: shut up about your damn dog. Steven, we locked you in there ‘cause we’re fed up with your sci-fi talk.
Steven: but I’m only trying to save you!
Axl: save us from what? The Zombies? Vampires? Werewolves? Aliens?
Steven: you just answered your own question.
Slash: we’re not letting you out until your sane again.
Duff: he was sane?
Slash: well, as close to sane as he can get.
Axl: I bet he doesn’t even know what sane means!
Steven: I do! It means…ok, I don’t.
Izzy: it means your normal. Something that most of us in here aren’t.
Duff: what do you mean “something that most of us in here aren’t”?
Izzy: oh, nothing.
2 hours later
Steven: ok! I’m sane now!
Axl: are you sure?
Steven: yes! I’m sure! Please just let me out! I’m starving! The gnome ate all my polo’s!
Duff: you know, for a second there, I started to believe him. Then the gnome thing came.
Slash: was there even a gnome in there?
Izzy: only the garden one that came with the house.
Axl: oh, I remember, the old senile lady left it to take care of the house.
Steven: ahhhhhhhh! The gnomes moving! Oh, wait. It’s just a rat. A RAT?!
Slash: I used to have a rat. Or was it a mouse?
The next day
Steven: can I come out now?
Silence
Steven: hello? Anyone there?
Silence
Steven: the gnomes gone. I really am sane. Stuff this. I’m picking the lock.
After a few minuets if tinkering with the lock, it finally opened. Steven walked out and no sign of the guys. He looked out the window and there was no cars driving or people walking. Not even a dog barking.
Steven: where is everyone? Oh no, what if the Aliens got everyone?! Or worse, they’re eaten by Zombies?! I’m the last human on earth! I can do what ever I want!
5 minuets later
Steven: I’m board. I know! I’ll remake all the guys!
1 hour later
Steven had remade all his friends out of cardboard and kitchen things and was now drawing on the faces.
Steven: Axl’s face. Pointed nose? Pointed chin? How am I supposed to draw that on a melon? CRAP! Slash’s head fell off again. Hey, it would be funny if someone were reading this as a book or a fanfiction. Ok, now the final touches. Izzy’s dog needs a lead. Where would that be?
After half an hour of searching

Steven: nowhere to be found. Funny, I couldn’t find Slash’s hat either. Or Duff’s credit card. Wait; if I’m the last person on earth, I don’t need a credit card.
Meanwhile in the garden shed
Axl: this should sort him out.
Slash: how exactly?
Axl: he’ll think he’s the last person on earth, and go insane…
Duff: how can he get more insane?
Axl: well, something will happen. I don’t know the rest, I didn’t plan that far.
Izzy: guys, I think my dog needs to go.
Axl: go where?
Izzy: the loo.
Axl: that’s what you get for feeding him right before we came in here! Well, he can’t go outside ‘cause Steven will see him!
Slash: we’re boned.
2 minutes later
Axl burst out the shed shaking his leg with hysterical Slash, Duff and Izzy following.
Axl: out of all the legs he could have gone up, he just had to go up mine didn’t he! Oh crap! It’s in my shoe!
Duff: (laughing) that is the funniest thing I ever saw!
Slash: look at the bright side Axl; at least we don’t have that problem anymore!
Meanwhile
Steven: (cock-eyed) did you guys just talk? I must be going crazy. Cardboard can’t talk. Or can it? WHA…?
Izzy: (laughing) sorry, Axl, honestly, I didn’t know he’d go up you!
Axl: he better not…AHHHHHHHHHH!
Steven: Axl! Slash! Duff! Izzy! Izzy’s dog! You’re all alive!
Axl: Steven! Let go of me!
Steven: I thought you where all dead or the aliens got you! Axl, why is your leg wet?
Slash: Izzy’s dog peed up it!
Izzy’s dog cocked its head on one side and started to wag its tail. It trotted up to Steven and lifted up his leg.
Izzy: Steven, move!
Steven quickly moved and Axl felt his other foot getting wet.
Axl: WTF! 2 times! Both feet! I’LL GET YOU MUT!