- I'm really enjoying it for it's imagination and ideas. The balance between Harry's and Hermione's separate new experiences is good, though some of the events in Home world, such as the old lords meeting refence including Longbottoms seems a bit out of nowhere; and the order meeting having no-one who can explain Dung's story seems a bit unlikely especially with Moody there. In fact if Moody is now saying he tried to get Harry's relations dealt with why did he never approach the potter retainers?
However, my real pickie is that for someone whose overall writing is effective and well-done there are a ridiculous number of simple typos and wrong word selection - enough to quite seriously interrupt reading flow and pleasure. Maybe you should get another layer of checking done.
Anyway thanks for writing and I hope you continue as on balance it's pretty good. Cheers ... p
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