FicWad

It was a hot, dry day in the Californian desert. A small truck was making it’s way back to Orange County. Having spent a week in the beautiful Utah, the group of people were ready to head back home. In the car was a husband and wife. A best friend. A child. An uncle. The husband and wife sat in the front two seats. The best friend sat behind her friend in the backseat. The little boy sat in his booster seat between the best friend and his uncle. His uncle was too busy sticking his nose into his hand held game system.

“So, Mickey,” smirked the best friend from the back, placing her arms behind her head, using them as a pillow, “can we turn on some tunage?”

The uncle turned his game system volume louder and shoved it towards her head, “There ya go!”

“I would be careful, Ryan,” she sneered, “I will throw that thing out the window.”

“Amanda doesn’t bullshit about things like that,” smirked Mickey. The driver flipped on the radio as Ryan turned his game off and tucked it away in his pocket. All the radio emitted was a horrid static sound. Amanda sighed and rest her head in her hand as she rested her elbow on the arm rest. Mickey flipped the radio. “We could always think about the Hills Have Eyes.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” said Ryan.

“We’ve got another three hours at least,” said Amanda. “He’s right, we would never have enough time to talk about what a great movie it is!”

“Capital D colon!” cried Mickey. Ryan began to hit his head against the window. Mickey and Amanda were a part of a horror movie loving group called BAM, which featured their other friend, Brittany. Ryan couldn’t take girls gossiping about some bloody movie. Mickey turned to her husband, “We aren’t annoying you are we?”

“Hey, if this talk is making my brother hit himself, why on earth would I care?” he laughed.

“You should care, Chris!” cried Ryan. “I am your brother!”

“And for that I am sorry,” said Amanda. Amanda leaned foreword and wrapped her arms around Mickey. “So, Mick, you two planning on having anymore kids?”

“Let’s hope not,” mumbled Ryan under his breath. Mickey grabbed her purse and took out her rusted animal trap and conked Ryan over the head with it. He grabbed his head as he let out a pain filled scream. “Who the fuck carries around a fucking animal trap!?”

“Horror Girl,” said Mickey and Amanda in union.

The son’s eyes began to well up. Amanda slapped on a happy face and voice and began to talk to him, while motioning to Mickey for his pacifier. Chris looked into the rearview mirror and narrowed his eyes, “Good job asshole.”

“To answer your question Amanda, yes we are,” nodded Mickey. “Adopting this time.”

“A Russian daughter that’s really an adult and will try to seduce Chris and end up killing him?” smiled Amanda.

“You sound way to chipper about that,” said a disturbed Ryan.

“No, a daughter from Japan,” nodded Mickey.

“Who turns out to be a dead ghost who is named Kayako Saeki and tries to kill Chris thinking it’s her abusive husband?” smiled Amanda again.

“Again, way too chipper,” said Ryan.

“No,” said Mickey. “That never happened in the movies. The closest thing to that would have been when Toshio replaced his own mother into the woman’s womb after her baby died and does it look like we’re in Japan?”

“I wish,” moaned Amanda covering her eyes and letting her head fall backwards.

“It’s not fair!” cried Mickey.

“You don’t get to complain anymore, Hiratani!” cried Amanda.

“Capital D colon?” said Mickey.

“At least you’re somewhat Japanese kinda sorta now!” said Amanda.

“And they call us nerds?” said Ryan. “They’re speaking in computer faces.”

“No,” said Amanda. “You’re just an asshole.”

Soon, the small truck pulled up behind a big diesel truck. Brown with rust and thick black smoke emitting from it’s front pipe. Mickey whipped out her camera and took a picture of the back of the beautiful machine. In a yellow oval were the red letters diesel. Below the oval were more red letter that read flammable. Their speed slowed to a slow thirty miles an hour.

Chris rolled up his window coughing, “Talk about pollution.”

Chris was able to go around the truck. He kept looking back at the truck as he passed it. Mickey tipped her head. “What’s the matter?” she asked as the small truck went back up to it’s speed of sixty?

“I thought with everything going green, those kind of trucks would have been scrapped,” said Chris.

Amanda began to laugh. “No one can scrap Mickey’s husband’s truck!”

Ryan looked at her weird, “That's not Chris’ truck.”

“And it’s not Rusty Nail’s,” said Mickey.

“Oh come on guys!” said Amanda. “If that truck were in a horror film, are you denying the fact Mickey would fall in love with the driver?”

“Can we talk about something normal please?” asked Ryan. “I have a question, why is it that women are so nice before you marry them but after you marry them they suddenly become so aggressive?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” said Amanda.

“Amanda, he is married,” said Mickey.

“To a blind and deaf woman,” said Chris. “Bless her heart.”

Suddenly the truck passed them, going well over sixty. Mickey laid a hand on Chris’ bicep. “Don’t mess around with a trucker, you’ve seen Joy Ride.”

“But we don’t have a CB radio,” said Chris. “I just want to go sixty.”

Chris, ignoring Mickey’s warning zipped around the truck again. As he passed him, the truck allowed his horn to blare.

“Mickey?” asked Amanda. “Have you ever had sex with Chris in a meat locker?”