Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Only The Strong Survive (Forbidden Pt 2)
Present: September 2012
Frank opened the front door squeezed himself inside and then slammed it locking himself inside.
‘FRANK IERO’ Lyn screamed on the other side ‘YOU OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT’
‘No go away’ Frank wailed ‘you’re the devil’
‘I am not the devil’ Lyn said ‘Please open the door I really need to talk to you.’
‘Not a chance in hell life ruiner’ he said looking through the peep hole ‘now get off my property’
‘Frank please’ Lyn whined looking around to make sure no one was watching them make a scene ‘It really important’
‘Are you dying?’ he asked his curiosity getting the best of him. ‘not that it would chance anything.’
‘No’ she retorted ‘I’m not dying you asshole’
‘Then its not important’ he said ‘now I don’t want to be rude but fuck off I have my own shit to deal with.’
‘Frank I didn’t come here to upset you’ Lyn said honestly her palms flat against the door in desperation.
‘Then why’d you come here?’ He responded feeling himself weaken at the pitiful sound of her whining voice.
‘Because my daughter Paige needed me to’ Lyn said shifting uncomfortable from one foot to anther, surprisingly this was going much better then she had anticipated. She listened as he put the chain on the door and opened it, his face peeking out from the space the chain allowed.
‘You have a kid?’ Frank said eyeing her suspiciously. He couldn’t be sure if she was telling the truth or not, but what possible reason could she possibly have to come back after five years?
‘Yep, she’s just turned five.’ Lyn said fishing in her bag for a photo.
‘And what’s that got to do with me?’ Frank asked his head pounding violently from the stress of the day, his cock no longer needing the release it so desperately wanted minutes before.
‘Well she wanted me to come find her father’ Lyn said ‘So I have’
**
‘You can’t be serious’ Bob cried ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this’
‘For Gods sake Bob what is the big deal?’ Cheyenne asked as she tried to tidy the living room ‘It’s a wedding she’s the flower girl its, it isn’t the end of the world.’
‘Well it is to me, I don’t want Jasmine having anything to do with her wedding’ Bob said accepting the flowery teacup that Jasmine handed him, he pretended to drink from it and handed it back.
‘Well tough tits because she’s my daughter and I say she can be a part of it as am I’ Cheyenne replied grabbing the TV guide from under the sofa and hitting Gerard in his head with it, a reminder that it belonged on the coffee table not on the floor.
‘After everything she did…’
‘Oh Bob grow up’ Cheyenne snapped ‘all of that crap happened years ago and we’ve all near enough gotten over it, we all made mistakes some of us worse ones than others, how comes you’re not mad at Gerard anymore?’
‘Hey’ Gerard said looking up from the novel he was reading, hurt splashed across his face.
‘Sorry baby’ Cheyenne said ‘just an example. My point is Bob is if everyone else can get passed it so can you, you weren’t nearly as effected as the rest of us so it should be easier to move on. I think you’re pissed at losing her and you don’t know how to tell her you still love her.’
‘That’s bull’ he said curbing his language as Jasmine was in the room.
‘I don’t think it is. Be a man Bob’ Cheyenne said ‘spare us all your moping around.’
‘I’m not moping’ Bob shot back ‘I don’t even care about her.’
‘Well then us attending the wedding shouldn’t bother you the slightest should it?’ Cheyenne said.
‘I don’t care’ Bob said shrugging his shoulders and sitting back in the armchair.
‘Then why’d you bring it up?’ Cheyenne asked with a grin. Bob didn’t respond deciding to stare at the TV instead and Cheyenne chuckled to herself knowing she had won.
**
Past: September 2007
‘How you feeling?’ Frank asked Cheyenne as he held the new born in his arms. It was so weird because he could feel her in his arms but she barely weighed anything coming out at 6lbs 11ozs.
‘It’s only been an hour Frank’ Cheyenne laughed ‘ask me again in a few more.’
It felt strange to her, she was so tired but at the same time she had never felt so awake as she watched Frank cradle her infant daughter named Baby Girl Bryar by the midwife, who has scampered off, no doubt to deliver another baby. It was strange seeing the dark imagery and colours of Frank’s tattoos against the pure white cotton blanket the baby was wrapped up in, it just made the last ten hours all the more surreal.
‘She’s looking at me’ Frank said smiling broadly as his eye locked with the baby’s ‘she’s so beautiful.’
‘I wouldn’t know I haven’t really seen her’ Cheyenne joked ‘between you and Bob I’ve barely had a look in.’
‘I’m sorry I’m hogging her’ Frank said walking over to the bed where he ever so gently passed the baby to Cheyenne. ‘I think I’m addicted to her.’
‘Me too’ Cheyenne said a tear sliding down her face as her daughter closed her eyes ‘Oh I love her so much already.’
‘I know what you mean’ Frank said sitting on the edge of the bed.
‘Frank tell me the truth’ Cheyenne said looking into his eyes ‘where is Gerard?’
‘He’ll be here soon’ Frank said honestly
‘But why wasn’t he here and you and Bob were?’
‘There was a problem at the airport and they told us to go ahead, Gerard wanted to be here.’
‘Then why wasn’t he? What problem at the airport?’ Cheyenne demanded
‘I don’t know we raced ahead’ Frank said trying to avoid the truth. This was a happy occasion and he didn’t want it tainted. ‘I’m sure we’ll both find out what went wrong when they get here. Just relax you’ve been through a lot.’
‘I know, I feel so empty inside’ she said looking down at her sleeping child as her chest rose and fell quickly ‘But so full like I could burst any minute.’
‘So…’ Frank said eagerly ‘Names?’
‘Oh gee I don’t know’ Cheyenne said a smile plying on her lips ‘I thought of three but now I’m looking at her none of them suit. I had Carmen, Layla and Mia.’
‘I don’t like any of those’ Frank said making a face as his hand gently patted the baby.
‘Well did you have any in mind?’ Cheyenne asked. Frank had been pretty much hands on from the start so he must’ve thought of a name or two.
‘Dakota, Beatrix Kiddo and Mulan’ he said seriously ‘I’m just kidding I didn’t really have any names picked out after I found out she wasn’t mine’
‘Well what did you have before?’ Cheyenne said trying to keep the atmosphere light knowing that despite his happy face this must really be hurting him.
‘No way I’m going to keep ‘em until I have my own little one.’ He said.
They sat in silence for a while just watching the baby sleep, they stole glances at each other just happy to share the moment together.
‘I’m going to go and see where the others are’ Frank said softly he could see Cheyenne was starting to close her eyes.
‘ok’ she yawned ‘and maybe you can get a vase for those flowers’
‘Sure’ he said walking round the bed and picking up the bunch ‘I’m sorry they’re not nicer.’
‘No they’re lovely’ Cheyenne insisted ‘all white and pure, like this little one. What are they called?’
‘Erm’ he turned the bouquet around in his hand until he found the label ‘Jasmine’
‘Jasmine’ Cheyenne repeated like the way the name rolled of her tongue ‘I like it.’
‘Well I’m glad’
‘No the name’ Cheyenne said looking down at her daughter ‘Jasmine’
Frank followed her gaze to the tiny bundle wrapped all in white laying on the bed and realised what she meant.
‘I think it’s perfect.’ Frank beamed feeling as though he had named the baby himself.
‘Me too’ Cheyenne smiled lifting her new born into her arms ‘Jasmine. Your name is Jasmine.’
‘I’ll be back in a bit’ Frank said not wanting to leave the blissful happiness of the room but knowing that Gerard should be basking in the glow instead of himself.
‘Hurry back’ Cheyenne said flashing him a smile which stopped his heart.
‘I will’ he said closing the door and running to find Bob.
**
Present: September 2012
‘Does she have a middle name?’ Frank asked as he studied the picture Lyn had given him. The child in the photo was very very pretty, he liked her smile it was so familiar that when he saw it, it made his heart stop.
‘Marie’ Lyn said sipping the coffee that Frank had made her after he had come out of shock, he had a drink too it was stronger then the coffee.
‘When’s her birthday September what?’
‘Oh she was born in August’ Lyn said remembering that day like it was yesterday it was no doubt the day that she was reborn herself. ‘She was two weeks premature the little monster and my, is she impatient.’ Lyn laughed.
‘So why did you choose to tell her Marcus isn’t her dad?’ Frank asked handing the photo back to Lyn who took it and slipped it onto her bag with a sigh. ‘Wouldn’t it have been easier to keep her in the dark till she was older?’
‘We didn’t tell her, a little girl at her school made a comment that she doesn’t look like Marcus and from there she was obsessed wondering why she didn’t have any of his looks and so I broke down one day and told her the truth and ever since then she’s asked me everyday to meet him. Its really hurting Marcus but I can’t risk her coming here one day on her own and surprising everyone, you know.’
‘Why didn’t you bring her with you this time?’ Frank questioned taking a sip of his whiskey.
‘No doubt you remember the night I left’ Lyn said feeling embarrassed ‘I couldn’t very well just show up here with my daughter in hand. I had to come here, feel it out find out what everyone’s up to and see if it was ok. I wouldn’t want her to come here and be surrounded by bad vibes.’
‘Why now Lyn?’ Frank asked ‘Why not five years ago, or when you knew you were pregnant?’
‘I don’t know’ she sighed ‘when I found put I was pregnant it was the biggest shock I had ever had in my life, I was so afraid. I was convinced that I’d be the worst mother in the world and that I wouldn’t be able to love the baby because I was so rotten on the inside I was terrified. I contemplated suicide, adoption, abortion anything so this baby wouldn’t be born in to the arms of someone like me. Eventually when the signs were too big to ignore I confessed to Marcus, I was afraid he would leave me since it was obvious the baby wasn’t his, we hadn’t had sex in a long while as we were still patching things up from New Year. Anyway he convinced me to keep the baby and vowed to stick by me we made those vows before God on the 1st of May and never looked back. I guess I never came back because as selfish as it sounds I never wanted to disrupt my happy life, everything was perfect and I didn’t want it messed up by an intrusion.
‘Even by her father’ Frank said shaking his head. This was unbelievable next to New Year five years ago this was the worst day of his life.
**
Past: September 2007
‘About time’ Bob cried as he saw Mikey and the others fly through the hospital entrance.
‘How is she?’ Gerard asked concerned etched all over his face.
‘She’s fine’ Bob grinned ‘come on follow me’
Ten minutes later they were all by Cheyenne bedside, baby Jasmine was being passed from one band member to another, each of them in awe of the new addition to the family.
‘Mom’s on her way.’ Mikey grinned holding Jasmine carefully in one arm and sliding his cell into his pocket. ‘This is so cool I can’t believe I have a niece. Hello Jasmine I’m uncle Mikey. When you get bigger we’re going to have so much fun, yes we are.’
‘Hand her over’ Gerard demanded he couldn’t remember a moment when he was prouder. He was a dad, he was a father, he just couldn’t wrap his mind around it but every time he held her he felt a rush of love that he had never experienced before.
‘Oooh. What’s wrong?’ Gerard asked as the baby whimpered and began to cry softly ‘Shh’ he said jiggling her in his arms
‘Here’ Cheyenne said holding her tired arms out ‘she’s probably hungry’
‘This would be out cue to leave boys’ Ray said with a laugh
‘If she’s getting her breasts out I’m staying’ Frank joked
‘Eww’ Mikey said ‘they’re not really breasts anymore they’re baby feeders, those aren’t sexy.’
‘Mikey’ Cheyenne cried hurt at his comment. Was she less sexy now she was a mother?’
‘Oh but not yours’ Mikey said quickly ‘yours are and will always be awesome’
‘Alright get out you clowns’ Gerard laughed. He waited for them to all shuffle out of the small over crowded room before walking over to Cheyenne and handing her a now hysterical Jasmine.
‘Oh shh there there’ Cheyenne soothed as Jasmine took her nipple in her mouth. The mid wife had shown her how to feed Jasmine earlier but the baby wasn’t interested now she was hungrily suckling away.
‘She’s perfect’ Gerard said sitting next to Cheyenne on the bed.
‘This is the best feeling in the whole world’ Cheyenne replied.
‘I thought breast feeding hurt.’ Gerard asked looking confused
‘No not the breast feeding’ Cheyenne laughed ‘I mean holding my daughter and having my family around.’
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t here’ Gerard said cautiously placing his arm over Cheyenne’s shoulders, he felt her lean into him and exhaled with relief ‘you have no idea how cut up I am about missing it. There was a mix up at the air port.’
‘I know Frank said there was’ Cheyenne said snuggling close to him, her face upturned towards his ‘but its okay you’re here now’
Gerard leaned in and pressed his lips lightly to hers savouring the soft feel of her lips on his, something he had craved for but hadn’t felt in months. He parted his lips slowly and Cheyenne took the bait letting her tongue enter his mouth, she kissed him deeply feeling a rush of butterflies flow through her, wondering how she had gone so long without his kisses.
‘What?’ Gerard whispered as Cheyenne suddenly pulled back, she was aware that Jasmine had stopped feeding and was sleeping against her breast.
‘You’ve been drinking’ Cheyenne accused covering her breast and proceeding to burp Jasmine, she gently rubbed her back all the while feeling an anger rise up inside her.
‘I had one drink on the plane’ Gerard lied ‘I was nervous about the baby’s birth, I needed something to calm my nerves.’
‘You’re lying to me’ Cheyenne said unable to look him in the eye, she manouvered Jasmine onto her chest and continued to rub her back, thankful that he daughter was there to stop her exploding from rage.
‘I’m not’ he persisted ‘I had a few drinks on the plane and that’s all.’
‘Was it one or a few Gerard’ Cheyenne snapped ‘get your story straight.’
‘It was a few alright’ he said standing up and backing away from the bed ‘Jesus Christ can’t a man have a celebratory drinks for the birth of his daughter. Its not like I had a lot.’
‘What was the mix up at the airport Gerard’ Cheyenne said and her tone told him to tell her the truth.
‘I don’t know Brian sorted it out, I wasn’t even paying attention.’ He lied again.
‘Do you think I’m fucking stupid?’ Cheyenne asked ‘there wasn’t a mix up at the airport you couldn’t get on the plane because you were drunk, Admit it.’
‘No that’s not it’ Gerard said shaking his head
‘Tell me the truth’ Cheyenne demanded ‘tell me why you missed the birth of our daughter? It was because you were too drunk to board the plane wasn’t it?’ Cheyenne shouted her hand lightly covering Jasmine’s ear. ‘Wasn’t it?’
‘Yes, yes that’s why’ Gerard whispered, his head hung low, his dark hair hanging over his eyes.
‘Get out’ Cheyenne demanded. Her mind was racing all sorts of thoughts were in her head but one thing was certain she didn’t want to see his face.
‘Chey please hear me out’ Gerard said his eyes falling on his sleeping daughter panic rising up in his chest at the thought of being separated from her.
‘I don’t want to hear any more of your lies’ Cheyenne sobbed. She didn’t want to cry over him again but her emotions were too hard to control ‘please just leave.’
‘I can’t leave’ Gerard said rushing to her bedside ‘I can’t not now that Jasmine’s here please let me stay.’
‘We don’t want you here’ Cheyenne cried ‘you promised me, you promised us.’
‘I know and I’ll change I swear’ he promised feeling helpless as Cheyenne shook her head at each word he spoke ‘I’ll get help, professional help, please just don’t turn me away.’
‘I don’t want you here’ Cheyenne screamed as his hand fell on hers ‘DON’T TOUVH ME. GET OUT.’
‘What’s going on?’ Ray asked as he burst through the door, his eyes fell on Gerard on his knees and Cheyenne face wet with tears
‘Ray please get him out’ Cheyenne sobbed as her body shook from the tears ‘please.’
‘What’s happened?’ Frank asked next to appear through the door, he saw what Ray saw and raced round to take a crying Jasmine from Cheyenne.
‘Don’t cry’ he soothed patting the baby against his chest, her soft cries calming down.
‘Cheyenne what do I have to do?’ Gerard begged his heart pounding hard, his mind racing. He’d do anything to stay next to her and his daughter ‘What do you want me to do? I’m sorry I’m so sorry. Please don’t make me leave, I want to be here. I want to be with you.’
Cheyenne tried to answer but the lump in her throat prevented any words from coming out of her mouth so instead she continued to cry. All the emotions that she had built up through the last nine months, mixed with the birth of her daughter had come rushing out leaving her unable to do anything but cry.
‘I think you better leave’ Ray said to Gerard softly his face sincere and apologetic.
Gerard nodded in understanding, he wanted to stay more then anything but he didn’t want to hurt her by remaining there unwanted. He never took his eyes off Cheyenne as Ray helped him onto his feet. His heart had never felt so heavy. He tore his eyes from the women he loved as his daughter gave a small whimper, his eyes reached Frank but he saw no understanding in his friend’s eyes as he retreated to the door.
‘I’ll come back tomorrow’ he said softly as he left the room with Ray behind him.
In you go’ Frank said to Jasmine as he placed her in the cot provided by the hospital, she whimpered but soon quieted he sighed with relief eager to tend to Cheyenne who’s own cried had now quieted. He climbed onto the bed beside her and cradled her in his arms.
‘Its okay’ he soothed ‘its ok baby, everything will be alright.’
‘I hate him’ she sobbed ‘he’s the horriblest person I’ve ever met.’
‘No he’s not’ Frank said ‘he just made a mistake.’
‘He lied to me’ She told him ‘so many times now. Why? Why does he lie to me?’
‘I don’t know’ Frank said shaking his head ‘I guess he…I don’t know I guess he thinks he’s protecting you from the truth.’
‘I don’t want him in my life anymore’ she said wiping her eyes
‘You can’t say that, you have Jasmine now, he has a right to be apart of her life.’
‘Not when he drinks.’ Cheyenne said adamantly ‘He not allowed any where near her.’
‘Be fair honey’ Frank said ‘he’s not a danger to her.’
‘He is’ Cheyenne sobbed ‘he’s no good to her if he’s a drunk, he’s no good to me.’
‘He has been trying Chey’ Frank said softly ‘he’s tried hard.’
‘No he hasn’t if he tried hard then he wouldn’t have missed the birth of his daughter.’
Frank opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. There was nothing else he could say to defend his friend. So he apologised instead. ‘I’m really sorry Chey, this was supposed to be a happy day but instead…’ he trailed off awkwardly ‘it’ll get better I promise.’
‘Don’t ever leave me Frank’ Cheyenne said her hand clutching tightly to the fabric of his sleeve. ‘I need you, we need you.’
‘I won’t’ He said kissing her hair gently ‘I promise’
Frank held Cheyenne close as Jasmine snoozed in her crib, he watched them both sleep thinking despite the drama there was no where in the world he’d rather have been in that moment in time.
**
Present: September 2012
‘You better go’ Frank said to Lyn taking her coffee cup and offering her his hand, she took it and he helped her out of the sofa ‘Jamia will be home soon.’
‘Thank you for seeing me today’ Lyn said ‘after everything that happened I really appreciate it.’
‘What choice did I have?’ he said honestly
They walked to the front door in silence both of them contemplating the conversation they had had, both trying to work out where to go from here.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow’ Frank said pulling her into a hug, he felt her give him a gentle squeeze and was surprised how much comfort he felt from the small gesture.
‘Promise’ Lyn said her eyes locking with his as she pulled away.
‘I promise’ he repeated opening the front door ‘now get out of here before my wife comes home and kills you.’
Lyn laughed and nodded in understanding ‘see you later Iero’
‘Bye’ he was about to shut the door, more then ready to lay down when Lyn stopped him.
‘Do you really think Gerard will be ok, knowing he has another daughter?’ Lyn asked worriedly ‘Do you think he’ll take it ok?’
‘I have no idea’ Frank said honestly ‘we’ll just have to see how it goes.’
‘Ok’ Lyn said giving him a small smile ‘bye’
Frank closed the door and waited till he heard her car door close before hurling the cup in his hand against the wall, he watched it explode pieces of ceramic black shapes fly all over the living room. He sank to the floor as sobs erupted loudly from his body anger radiating from him at the injustice he felt. How could he lose both children to Gerard, how was it fair that Gerard was now a father to two beautiful little girls and he was father to neither of them. The chances were 50/50 as always but just looking at Paige it was clear she was Gerard’s she looked just like him. She had his eyes, his nose, his unruly hair, she was Gerard. Frank cried hard at the unfairness of his life. He was no longer in love with his wife, his best friend, he had no children and the woman he was in love with didn’t feel the same about him. He had nothing and Gerard it appeared had everything. As he leaned against his front door, silent tears now streaming down his face he wondered what he had done to deserve such horrible blows in life and as he dragged himself to his loveless bed he decided that there really wasn’t much of a reason to get out of it again.
A/N- Aww poor Frankie! Hey everyone sorry for the late chapter. I hope you’re all well. So what did you think? Was it worth the wait? I’m sure you’ll let me know. Thank you for all the reviews and ratings they mean a lot. Take care til next time
Frank opened the front door squeezed himself inside and then slammed it locking himself inside.
‘FRANK IERO’ Lyn screamed on the other side ‘YOU OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT’
‘No go away’ Frank wailed ‘you’re the devil’
‘I am not the devil’ Lyn said ‘Please open the door I really need to talk to you.’
‘Not a chance in hell life ruiner’ he said looking through the peep hole ‘now get off my property’
‘Frank please’ Lyn whined looking around to make sure no one was watching them make a scene ‘It really important’
‘Are you dying?’ he asked his curiosity getting the best of him. ‘not that it would chance anything.’
‘No’ she retorted ‘I’m not dying you asshole’
‘Then its not important’ he said ‘now I don’t want to be rude but fuck off I have my own shit to deal with.’
‘Frank I didn’t come here to upset you’ Lyn said honestly her palms flat against the door in desperation.
‘Then why’d you come here?’ He responded feeling himself weaken at the pitiful sound of her whining voice.
‘Because my daughter Paige needed me to’ Lyn said shifting uncomfortable from one foot to anther, surprisingly this was going much better then she had anticipated. She listened as he put the chain on the door and opened it, his face peeking out from the space the chain allowed.
‘You have a kid?’ Frank said eyeing her suspiciously. He couldn’t be sure if she was telling the truth or not, but what possible reason could she possibly have to come back after five years?
‘Yep, she’s just turned five.’ Lyn said fishing in her bag for a photo.
‘And what’s that got to do with me?’ Frank asked his head pounding violently from the stress of the day, his cock no longer needing the release it so desperately wanted minutes before.
‘Well she wanted me to come find her father’ Lyn said ‘So I have’
**
‘You can’t be serious’ Bob cried ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this’
‘For Gods sake Bob what is the big deal?’ Cheyenne asked as she tried to tidy the living room ‘It’s a wedding she’s the flower girl its, it isn’t the end of the world.’
‘Well it is to me, I don’t want Jasmine having anything to do with her wedding’ Bob said accepting the flowery teacup that Jasmine handed him, he pretended to drink from it and handed it back.
‘Well tough tits because she’s my daughter and I say she can be a part of it as am I’ Cheyenne replied grabbing the TV guide from under the sofa and hitting Gerard in his head with it, a reminder that it belonged on the coffee table not on the floor.
‘After everything she did…’
‘Oh Bob grow up’ Cheyenne snapped ‘all of that crap happened years ago and we’ve all near enough gotten over it, we all made mistakes some of us worse ones than others, how comes you’re not mad at Gerard anymore?’
‘Hey’ Gerard said looking up from the novel he was reading, hurt splashed across his face.
‘Sorry baby’ Cheyenne said ‘just an example. My point is Bob is if everyone else can get passed it so can you, you weren’t nearly as effected as the rest of us so it should be easier to move on. I think you’re pissed at losing her and you don’t know how to tell her you still love her.’
‘That’s bull’ he said curbing his language as Jasmine was in the room.
‘I don’t think it is. Be a man Bob’ Cheyenne said ‘spare us all your moping around.’
‘I’m not moping’ Bob shot back ‘I don’t even care about her.’
‘Well then us attending the wedding shouldn’t bother you the slightest should it?’ Cheyenne said.
‘I don’t care’ Bob said shrugging his shoulders and sitting back in the armchair.
‘Then why’d you bring it up?’ Cheyenne asked with a grin. Bob didn’t respond deciding to stare at the TV instead and Cheyenne chuckled to herself knowing she had won.
**
Past: September 2007
‘How you feeling?’ Frank asked Cheyenne as he held the new born in his arms. It was so weird because he could feel her in his arms but she barely weighed anything coming out at 6lbs 11ozs.
‘It’s only been an hour Frank’ Cheyenne laughed ‘ask me again in a few more.’
It felt strange to her, she was so tired but at the same time she had never felt so awake as she watched Frank cradle her infant daughter named Baby Girl Bryar by the midwife, who has scampered off, no doubt to deliver another baby. It was strange seeing the dark imagery and colours of Frank’s tattoos against the pure white cotton blanket the baby was wrapped up in, it just made the last ten hours all the more surreal.
‘She’s looking at me’ Frank said smiling broadly as his eye locked with the baby’s ‘she’s so beautiful.’
‘I wouldn’t know I haven’t really seen her’ Cheyenne joked ‘between you and Bob I’ve barely had a look in.’
‘I’m sorry I’m hogging her’ Frank said walking over to the bed where he ever so gently passed the baby to Cheyenne. ‘I think I’m addicted to her.’
‘Me too’ Cheyenne said a tear sliding down her face as her daughter closed her eyes ‘Oh I love her so much already.’
‘I know what you mean’ Frank said sitting on the edge of the bed.
‘Frank tell me the truth’ Cheyenne said looking into his eyes ‘where is Gerard?’
‘He’ll be here soon’ Frank said honestly
‘But why wasn’t he here and you and Bob were?’
‘There was a problem at the airport and they told us to go ahead, Gerard wanted to be here.’
‘Then why wasn’t he? What problem at the airport?’ Cheyenne demanded
‘I don’t know we raced ahead’ Frank said trying to avoid the truth. This was a happy occasion and he didn’t want it tainted. ‘I’m sure we’ll both find out what went wrong when they get here. Just relax you’ve been through a lot.’
‘I know, I feel so empty inside’ she said looking down at her sleeping child as her chest rose and fell quickly ‘But so full like I could burst any minute.’
‘So…’ Frank said eagerly ‘Names?’
‘Oh gee I don’t know’ Cheyenne said a smile plying on her lips ‘I thought of three but now I’m looking at her none of them suit. I had Carmen, Layla and Mia.’
‘I don’t like any of those’ Frank said making a face as his hand gently patted the baby.
‘Well did you have any in mind?’ Cheyenne asked. Frank had been pretty much hands on from the start so he must’ve thought of a name or two.
‘Dakota, Beatrix Kiddo and Mulan’ he said seriously ‘I’m just kidding I didn’t really have any names picked out after I found out she wasn’t mine’
‘Well what did you have before?’ Cheyenne said trying to keep the atmosphere light knowing that despite his happy face this must really be hurting him.
‘No way I’m going to keep ‘em until I have my own little one.’ He said.
They sat in silence for a while just watching the baby sleep, they stole glances at each other just happy to share the moment together.
‘I’m going to go and see where the others are’ Frank said softly he could see Cheyenne was starting to close her eyes.
‘ok’ she yawned ‘and maybe you can get a vase for those flowers’
‘Sure’ he said walking round the bed and picking up the bunch ‘I’m sorry they’re not nicer.’
‘No they’re lovely’ Cheyenne insisted ‘all white and pure, like this little one. What are they called?’
‘Erm’ he turned the bouquet around in his hand until he found the label ‘Jasmine’
‘Jasmine’ Cheyenne repeated like the way the name rolled of her tongue ‘I like it.’
‘Well I’m glad’
‘No the name’ Cheyenne said looking down at her daughter ‘Jasmine’
Frank followed her gaze to the tiny bundle wrapped all in white laying on the bed and realised what she meant.
‘I think it’s perfect.’ Frank beamed feeling as though he had named the baby himself.
‘Me too’ Cheyenne smiled lifting her new born into her arms ‘Jasmine. Your name is Jasmine.’
‘I’ll be back in a bit’ Frank said not wanting to leave the blissful happiness of the room but knowing that Gerard should be basking in the glow instead of himself.
‘Hurry back’ Cheyenne said flashing him a smile which stopped his heart.
‘I will’ he said closing the door and running to find Bob.
**
Present: September 2012
‘Does she have a middle name?’ Frank asked as he studied the picture Lyn had given him. The child in the photo was very very pretty, he liked her smile it was so familiar that when he saw it, it made his heart stop.
‘Marie’ Lyn said sipping the coffee that Frank had made her after he had come out of shock, he had a drink too it was stronger then the coffee.
‘When’s her birthday September what?’
‘Oh she was born in August’ Lyn said remembering that day like it was yesterday it was no doubt the day that she was reborn herself. ‘She was two weeks premature the little monster and my, is she impatient.’ Lyn laughed.
‘So why did you choose to tell her Marcus isn’t her dad?’ Frank asked handing the photo back to Lyn who took it and slipped it onto her bag with a sigh. ‘Wouldn’t it have been easier to keep her in the dark till she was older?’
‘We didn’t tell her, a little girl at her school made a comment that she doesn’t look like Marcus and from there she was obsessed wondering why she didn’t have any of his looks and so I broke down one day and told her the truth and ever since then she’s asked me everyday to meet him. Its really hurting Marcus but I can’t risk her coming here one day on her own and surprising everyone, you know.’
‘Why didn’t you bring her with you this time?’ Frank questioned taking a sip of his whiskey.
‘No doubt you remember the night I left’ Lyn said feeling embarrassed ‘I couldn’t very well just show up here with my daughter in hand. I had to come here, feel it out find out what everyone’s up to and see if it was ok. I wouldn’t want her to come here and be surrounded by bad vibes.’
‘Why now Lyn?’ Frank asked ‘Why not five years ago, or when you knew you were pregnant?’
‘I don’t know’ she sighed ‘when I found put I was pregnant it was the biggest shock I had ever had in my life, I was so afraid. I was convinced that I’d be the worst mother in the world and that I wouldn’t be able to love the baby because I was so rotten on the inside I was terrified. I contemplated suicide, adoption, abortion anything so this baby wouldn’t be born in to the arms of someone like me. Eventually when the signs were too big to ignore I confessed to Marcus, I was afraid he would leave me since it was obvious the baby wasn’t his, we hadn’t had sex in a long while as we were still patching things up from New Year. Anyway he convinced me to keep the baby and vowed to stick by me we made those vows before God on the 1st of May and never looked back. I guess I never came back because as selfish as it sounds I never wanted to disrupt my happy life, everything was perfect and I didn’t want it messed up by an intrusion.
‘Even by her father’ Frank said shaking his head. This was unbelievable next to New Year five years ago this was the worst day of his life.
**
Past: September 2007
‘About time’ Bob cried as he saw Mikey and the others fly through the hospital entrance.
‘How is she?’ Gerard asked concerned etched all over his face.
‘She’s fine’ Bob grinned ‘come on follow me’
Ten minutes later they were all by Cheyenne bedside, baby Jasmine was being passed from one band member to another, each of them in awe of the new addition to the family.
‘Mom’s on her way.’ Mikey grinned holding Jasmine carefully in one arm and sliding his cell into his pocket. ‘This is so cool I can’t believe I have a niece. Hello Jasmine I’m uncle Mikey. When you get bigger we’re going to have so much fun, yes we are.’
‘Hand her over’ Gerard demanded he couldn’t remember a moment when he was prouder. He was a dad, he was a father, he just couldn’t wrap his mind around it but every time he held her he felt a rush of love that he had never experienced before.
‘Oooh. What’s wrong?’ Gerard asked as the baby whimpered and began to cry softly ‘Shh’ he said jiggling her in his arms
‘Here’ Cheyenne said holding her tired arms out ‘she’s probably hungry’
‘This would be out cue to leave boys’ Ray said with a laugh
‘If she’s getting her breasts out I’m staying’ Frank joked
‘Eww’ Mikey said ‘they’re not really breasts anymore they’re baby feeders, those aren’t sexy.’
‘Mikey’ Cheyenne cried hurt at his comment. Was she less sexy now she was a mother?’
‘Oh but not yours’ Mikey said quickly ‘yours are and will always be awesome’
‘Alright get out you clowns’ Gerard laughed. He waited for them to all shuffle out of the small over crowded room before walking over to Cheyenne and handing her a now hysterical Jasmine.
‘Oh shh there there’ Cheyenne soothed as Jasmine took her nipple in her mouth. The mid wife had shown her how to feed Jasmine earlier but the baby wasn’t interested now she was hungrily suckling away.
‘She’s perfect’ Gerard said sitting next to Cheyenne on the bed.
‘This is the best feeling in the whole world’ Cheyenne replied.
‘I thought breast feeding hurt.’ Gerard asked looking confused
‘No not the breast feeding’ Cheyenne laughed ‘I mean holding my daughter and having my family around.’
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t here’ Gerard said cautiously placing his arm over Cheyenne’s shoulders, he felt her lean into him and exhaled with relief ‘you have no idea how cut up I am about missing it. There was a mix up at the air port.’
‘I know Frank said there was’ Cheyenne said snuggling close to him, her face upturned towards his ‘but its okay you’re here now’
Gerard leaned in and pressed his lips lightly to hers savouring the soft feel of her lips on his, something he had craved for but hadn’t felt in months. He parted his lips slowly and Cheyenne took the bait letting her tongue enter his mouth, she kissed him deeply feeling a rush of butterflies flow through her, wondering how she had gone so long without his kisses.
‘What?’ Gerard whispered as Cheyenne suddenly pulled back, she was aware that Jasmine had stopped feeding and was sleeping against her breast.
‘You’ve been drinking’ Cheyenne accused covering her breast and proceeding to burp Jasmine, she gently rubbed her back all the while feeling an anger rise up inside her.
‘I had one drink on the plane’ Gerard lied ‘I was nervous about the baby’s birth, I needed something to calm my nerves.’
‘You’re lying to me’ Cheyenne said unable to look him in the eye, she manouvered Jasmine onto her chest and continued to rub her back, thankful that he daughter was there to stop her exploding from rage.
‘I’m not’ he persisted ‘I had a few drinks on the plane and that’s all.’
‘Was it one or a few Gerard’ Cheyenne snapped ‘get your story straight.’
‘It was a few alright’ he said standing up and backing away from the bed ‘Jesus Christ can’t a man have a celebratory drinks for the birth of his daughter. Its not like I had a lot.’
‘What was the mix up at the airport Gerard’ Cheyenne said and her tone told him to tell her the truth.
‘I don’t know Brian sorted it out, I wasn’t even paying attention.’ He lied again.
‘Do you think I’m fucking stupid?’ Cheyenne asked ‘there wasn’t a mix up at the airport you couldn’t get on the plane because you were drunk, Admit it.’
‘No that’s not it’ Gerard said shaking his head
‘Tell me the truth’ Cheyenne demanded ‘tell me why you missed the birth of our daughter? It was because you were too drunk to board the plane wasn’t it?’ Cheyenne shouted her hand lightly covering Jasmine’s ear. ‘Wasn’t it?’
‘Yes, yes that’s why’ Gerard whispered, his head hung low, his dark hair hanging over his eyes.
‘Get out’ Cheyenne demanded. Her mind was racing all sorts of thoughts were in her head but one thing was certain she didn’t want to see his face.
‘Chey please hear me out’ Gerard said his eyes falling on his sleeping daughter panic rising up in his chest at the thought of being separated from her.
‘I don’t want to hear any more of your lies’ Cheyenne sobbed. She didn’t want to cry over him again but her emotions were too hard to control ‘please just leave.’
‘I can’t leave’ Gerard said rushing to her bedside ‘I can’t not now that Jasmine’s here please let me stay.’
‘We don’t want you here’ Cheyenne cried ‘you promised me, you promised us.’
‘I know and I’ll change I swear’ he promised feeling helpless as Cheyenne shook her head at each word he spoke ‘I’ll get help, professional help, please just don’t turn me away.’
‘I don’t want you here’ Cheyenne screamed as his hand fell on hers ‘DON’T TOUVH ME. GET OUT.’
‘What’s going on?’ Ray asked as he burst through the door, his eyes fell on Gerard on his knees and Cheyenne face wet with tears
‘Ray please get him out’ Cheyenne sobbed as her body shook from the tears ‘please.’
‘What’s happened?’ Frank asked next to appear through the door, he saw what Ray saw and raced round to take a crying Jasmine from Cheyenne.
‘Don’t cry’ he soothed patting the baby against his chest, her soft cries calming down.
‘Cheyenne what do I have to do?’ Gerard begged his heart pounding hard, his mind racing. He’d do anything to stay next to her and his daughter ‘What do you want me to do? I’m sorry I’m so sorry. Please don’t make me leave, I want to be here. I want to be with you.’
Cheyenne tried to answer but the lump in her throat prevented any words from coming out of her mouth so instead she continued to cry. All the emotions that she had built up through the last nine months, mixed with the birth of her daughter had come rushing out leaving her unable to do anything but cry.
‘I think you better leave’ Ray said to Gerard softly his face sincere and apologetic.
Gerard nodded in understanding, he wanted to stay more then anything but he didn’t want to hurt her by remaining there unwanted. He never took his eyes off Cheyenne as Ray helped him onto his feet. His heart had never felt so heavy. He tore his eyes from the women he loved as his daughter gave a small whimper, his eyes reached Frank but he saw no understanding in his friend’s eyes as he retreated to the door.
‘I’ll come back tomorrow’ he said softly as he left the room with Ray behind him.
In you go’ Frank said to Jasmine as he placed her in the cot provided by the hospital, she whimpered but soon quieted he sighed with relief eager to tend to Cheyenne who’s own cried had now quieted. He climbed onto the bed beside her and cradled her in his arms.
‘Its okay’ he soothed ‘its ok baby, everything will be alright.’
‘I hate him’ she sobbed ‘he’s the horriblest person I’ve ever met.’
‘No he’s not’ Frank said ‘he just made a mistake.’
‘He lied to me’ She told him ‘so many times now. Why? Why does he lie to me?’
‘I don’t know’ Frank said shaking his head ‘I guess he…I don’t know I guess he thinks he’s protecting you from the truth.’
‘I don’t want him in my life anymore’ she said wiping her eyes
‘You can’t say that, you have Jasmine now, he has a right to be apart of her life.’
‘Not when he drinks.’ Cheyenne said adamantly ‘He not allowed any where near her.’
‘Be fair honey’ Frank said ‘he’s not a danger to her.’
‘He is’ Cheyenne sobbed ‘he’s no good to her if he’s a drunk, he’s no good to me.’
‘He has been trying Chey’ Frank said softly ‘he’s tried hard.’
‘No he hasn’t if he tried hard then he wouldn’t have missed the birth of his daughter.’
Frank opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. There was nothing else he could say to defend his friend. So he apologised instead. ‘I’m really sorry Chey, this was supposed to be a happy day but instead…’ he trailed off awkwardly ‘it’ll get better I promise.’
‘Don’t ever leave me Frank’ Cheyenne said her hand clutching tightly to the fabric of his sleeve. ‘I need you, we need you.’
‘I won’t’ He said kissing her hair gently ‘I promise’
Frank held Cheyenne close as Jasmine snoozed in her crib, he watched them both sleep thinking despite the drama there was no where in the world he’d rather have been in that moment in time.
**
Present: September 2012
‘You better go’ Frank said to Lyn taking her coffee cup and offering her his hand, she took it and he helped her out of the sofa ‘Jamia will be home soon.’
‘Thank you for seeing me today’ Lyn said ‘after everything that happened I really appreciate it.’
‘What choice did I have?’ he said honestly
They walked to the front door in silence both of them contemplating the conversation they had had, both trying to work out where to go from here.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow’ Frank said pulling her into a hug, he felt her give him a gentle squeeze and was surprised how much comfort he felt from the small gesture.
‘Promise’ Lyn said her eyes locking with his as she pulled away.
‘I promise’ he repeated opening the front door ‘now get out of here before my wife comes home and kills you.’
Lyn laughed and nodded in understanding ‘see you later Iero’
‘Bye’ he was about to shut the door, more then ready to lay down when Lyn stopped him.
‘Do you really think Gerard will be ok, knowing he has another daughter?’ Lyn asked worriedly ‘Do you think he’ll take it ok?’
‘I have no idea’ Frank said honestly ‘we’ll just have to see how it goes.’
‘Ok’ Lyn said giving him a small smile ‘bye’
Frank closed the door and waited till he heard her car door close before hurling the cup in his hand against the wall, he watched it explode pieces of ceramic black shapes fly all over the living room. He sank to the floor as sobs erupted loudly from his body anger radiating from him at the injustice he felt. How could he lose both children to Gerard, how was it fair that Gerard was now a father to two beautiful little girls and he was father to neither of them. The chances were 50/50 as always but just looking at Paige it was clear she was Gerard’s she looked just like him. She had his eyes, his nose, his unruly hair, she was Gerard. Frank cried hard at the unfairness of his life. He was no longer in love with his wife, his best friend, he had no children and the woman he was in love with didn’t feel the same about him. He had nothing and Gerard it appeared had everything. As he leaned against his front door, silent tears now streaming down his face he wondered what he had done to deserve such horrible blows in life and as he dragged himself to his loveless bed he decided that there really wasn’t much of a reason to get out of it again.
A/N- Aww poor Frankie! Hey everyone sorry for the late chapter. I hope you’re all well. So what did you think? Was it worth the wait? I’m sure you’ll let me know. Thank you for all the reviews and ratings they mean a lot. Take care til next time
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