Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > So Shut Your Eyes

Not Your Own

by MCArmyWife 12 reviews

Visions of regret and desperation.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2009-09-02 - Updated: 2009-09-02 - 1828 words

Gerard was consumed by fury as he reached the bedroom. He pushed open the door and saw Willow lifting her bag from the floor. In one swift move he knocked it from her hand.
“No way. You’re not going anywhere.”
Willow was shocked by the expression on his face and took a step back. For a moment she had almost believed a stranger had come into the room.
“Understand me?” he took a step towards her. “I’m calling the shots.”
She finally found her voice. “Get out of my way. I’m leaving this room now.” She didn’t even bother with her bag. She just wanted to get away from him.
Gerard grabbed her arm and twisted it roughly. He held on tightly as he shoved her back towards the bed. “Maybe you didn’t understand what I said. You’re not going anywhere.”
Willow tried to pull her arm from his grip but he wrenched it back and she cried out in pain. The sound seemed to fuel his anger. He suddenly let go and pushed her on to the bed. She tried to scramble away now that she was free but he threw his body down on hers.
“Get off me.” She cried out. “Gerard get off me.”
He was deaf to her pleas. Full fury consumed him. He grabbed both of her arms and held them above her head. “No way, bitch.” He snarled as she tried to free herself.
Willow tried not to panic. She knew if she screamed loud enough someone would hear but a sickening realization had hit her when she had looked into his eyes. Fear consumed her because she now understood some dark force was driving him. “Gee, please listen to me.”
He let go of one of her arms and with that hand he grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled at the material sending buttons flying. Need, desire, hatred, these were all he could feel. Once her skin was revealed he leaned down and pressed his lips to her neck. Brutality he sucked while she continued to struggle under his weight. Leaving her neck he moved down and clawed at the front clasp of her bra tearing it open. Willow tried with her one free hand to push him away. She inhaled sharply as he took her nipple into his mouth. Shock registered through Gerard’s brain when he realized he was not feeling the sensation that usually flowed between them. Touching her wasn’t supposed to be like this. He needed to feel that electricity. Where was it?
Willow closed her eyes and fought back the tears. His lips were brutalizing her soft skin.
He continued to roughly suck her nipple. He still felt nothing but fury and it pushed him over the edge. He bit down hard.
Willow tried not to scream. She bit her tongue and drew blood the same time his bite drew blood.
The warm salty taste hit his tongue and mind exploded with a million thoughts. They were filled with regret and desperation. He lifted his head slowly to look into Willow’s face. “Oh, God.” He whispered seeing her tears.
Willow opened her eyes and saw the change. Now his eyes were filled with a look of horror. He let go of her hand and rolled off her. Sliding off the bed he only made it a few steps before he collapsed on the floor. Without hesitation Willow went to him. She slid down on the floor and put her arms around his shaking body. “It’s okay.” She chanted, “It’s okay.”
He was in shock not believing what had just happened. He’d just brutalized her and she was comforting him. “Willow get away from me.” He pleaded.
“Gerard listen to me.” She said speaking in his ear. “That wasn’t you.”
He shook his head refusing to look at her.
“That wasn’t you hurting me.” She said trying to make him understand.
He raised his head. “What?”
“The fury that filled you wasn’t your own.” She tried desperately to explain.
He wanted to believe her but guilt consumed him. “But I was angry with you. I was pissed at Bob. And then when you said you were leaving I don’t know what happened. It was like I literally saw red. I wanted to stop you.” He looked down, “I wanted to hurt you.”
Willow believed that part of his angry towards her stemmed from the fact that he was fighting so hard not to have feeling for her. But what had just happened went way beyond that. “Gee, look at me.” She whispered.
He looked into her eyes, “The blinding anger you felt was not yours. It belonged to someone else. Someone who is still in this place and who is unable to let that anger go.”
“You’re saying I was possessed?” He asked trying to understand.
“Not possessed.” Willow clarified quickly. “More like you’re an empath. When we were downstairs there was a man in the room. He didn’t acknowledge my presence but I felt he knew I could see him. He was upset and I’ve learned not to intrude unless I’m acknowledged. As you grew angrier so did he. I think he saw a chance to unleash some of his fury. If I’m right you are an empath to the dead. He could sense this and he released this hatred and anger through you.”
Gerard closed his eyes. “I can’t do this. We have to leave. Willow I hurt you. What if I hadn’t stopped?”
Willow thought a moment before asking. “When you touched me during this did you feel anything other than anger?”
“No, nothing but anger. Blinding anger.” He confirmed.
“What made you stop?”
He searched his brain. “I’m not sure. I think when I bit you. When I tasted your blood. I looked up and saw your tears. It was like someone threw ice cold water on me.”
Willow nodded. “And now?” She touched his cheek. “What do you feel?”
Gerard closed his eyes. “It’s back.” He whispered.
Willow understood because she felt it herself. The electricity buzzed strongly through them and her body was slowly betraying her.
“Oh, shit.” Gerard tried to fight it. How could he want this when he’d just brutalized her? What was wrong with him? He tried to move away. “No, this is wrong.” He ground out.
Willow’s breathing was coming faster. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and taking his hand in hers. Slowly she drew it to her breast. “Touch me.” She begged.
Gerard looked into her eyes. “You want me?”
Willow couldn’t think she could only feel. Her body was on fire. “Yes.” She hissed, “I want you.”
Gerard’s fingers caressed her bare breast. He lowered his head and for a moment stilled when he saw the bite mark.
Willow moaned and urged him on. She needed to feel his body on hers. “Gee, I need you.”
They both removed their clothing in a frenzy of movement. Willow sighed as he moved over her body. He was holding himself up by his arms. His penis was positioned to enter her but he paused.
“I don’t want to hurt you, ever.” He said roughly.
Willow surprised him by clasping her legs around his back and forcing him inside. She cried out his name as she felt him fill her. The urgency drove him to thrust harder and Willow arched her back taking him in deeply. This was animalistic. It was raw. He continued to thrust into her and she urged him on. Her fingernails scratched his back and he welcomed the pain. Still it wasn’t enough. He pulled out of her and rolled her over. Willow pushed herself up onto the hands and knees.
Gerard looked down at her and groaned. “I’m sorry.” He said as he got onto his knees behind her.
Willow understood his words but there was no need to apologize. It was what she wanted too. “Fuck me, Gee. Fuck me.”
Her words pushed him over the edge. He pushed her shoulders to the ground so that her ass was high in the air. “Yeah, Sugar.” He moaned, “Yeah” He entered quickly and began pounding into her. She continued to urge him on.
“Harder.” She cried out.
Gerard grabbed her hips and thrust harder. He heard her moaning his name. As his throbbing penis began to engorge and he was about to release he threw back his head and cried out her name. Willow felt him cum and her body reacted. Her own release was quick and hard.
Gerard tried to steady his breathing. He slowly pulled out of her then collapsed on the floor. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He whispered looking into her face.
“No,” Willow tried to catch her breath.
He closed his eyes. “I don’t understand how you could still want me after what I did.”
Willow moved over and molded her body to his. “Because I knew that wasn’t you. You wouldn’t hurt me like that.”
Gerard’s mind was in turmoil. She was telling him that she believe he wouldn’t hurt her but he knew it was a lie. So many confusing thoughts were coursing through his brain. He was more scared then he’d ever been in his life. What was he going to do? All he knew was he had to protect her even if that meant protecting her from himself.
“What are you thinking?” Willow whispered.
“I honestly can’t get one straight thought.” He said stroking her bare arm.
“It will really be okay.” Willow said hoping he’d believe.
Gerard couldn’t believe. He couldn’t see how any of this would be okay.
“Let’s get dressed and talk.” Willow knew there were things she had to tell him.
He frowned, “I don’t think I can right now. My mind is so fuckin’ confused.”
Willow smiled sadly. “Okay, I’m going to take a shower and maybe when I’m through?”
He felt like balling up and crying and that thought truly terrified him. “Yeah, okay.” He whispered. A feeling of sadness enveloped him as he watched her walk away.

When Willow returned to the bedroom he was asleep on the floor. She looked down at him and felt her eyes fill with tears. Briefly she wondered if she should tell the others that they had decided to skip dinner but she didn’t want to leave him. She crossed over to the bed, grabbed one of the blankets and laid down next to him. She pulled the blanket over their bodies and snuggled up to him. Soon sleep claimed her but it was troubled. It was full of visions of fire and death. Her own death.
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