FicWad

Yeah...I know the fringe bit wasn't there sorry. It will appear at some point...if I remember. Also sorry about alot of the chapter before being in italics. Not sure what happened there. Probs me being distracted by mine and Mike's game of 'Truth Or Truth?' The questions are pretty grim.

Warning: Attempted suicide details...just incase. Don't wanna offened anyone or upset people.


Gerard's P.O.V

Alice hadn't said anything in a long while. I could feel her blue eyes burning holes into my skull but I still didn't look at her. Instead I looked around the room. The walls were light pastel green, the floor greyish plastic linoleum. She had a darkish brown pretend wood cabinet next to her. Everything else was pretty much white. I was getting fed up with silence. There is only so much I can take before I have to talk or sing or something. Anything to get rid of this awful silence. I began singing some 'Misfits' under my breath. Alice was still staring at me, I could see her out the corner of my eye. Her expretion was a strange one: happiness, hurt and confusion all rolled into one. How that works I don't know.
"Alice?" I asked softly. She shook her head. Her eyes were slightly glazed over. She shook her head again and her eyes were back to bright blue. It as weird, her eyes changed with her emotions. I remember when she tried to kill herself the way her eyes were empty and lifeless. I never wanted her to go back to that.


Flash-back

I rushed to Alice's flat. She told me what that bastard had done and what she planned to do. She had timed it so I wouldn't get there on time but I was sure as hell gonna try anyway. The door was unlocked. I prayed with all my heart and soul I was in time to save her. I ran around her flat trying to find her. I tried phoning an ambulance but my stupid crappy fucked up phone wasn't working.

I found Alice in her room. She was lying on her bed. She could be mistaken for someone who was sleeping. Except her wrists were slashed and bloody. Besides her was a bottle of some sort of pills. It was completely empty. I rushed over to her. She wasn't breathing but she had a pulse. It was very faint. I grabbed the phone from beside her and phoned the ambluance. Once I knew they were on there way. I pressed my lips tightly against Alice's and held her nose. Breathing into her. I watched her chest rise and fall. I repeated it again. I pumped her chest, willing her to keep her heart beating. I kept doing this for several minutes. Her eyes flickere open, they were dull and lifeless, not the brilliant blue I remember. There was no life left in them. He had tortured it out of her. Her body was a shell and her heart a prison of the pain she held for what had happened to her. Her soul destroyed.

The ambulance service took over. They told me if it wasn't for me being so quick and helping her she would have died. I was told I couldn't go in the ambulance with them. They'd needed the room to work on Alice. I felt so sick. I could feel my stomach churning. I ran to her bathroom, just making it in time to throw up. I sat on the floor, arms wrapped around my knees crying. After my tears finally subsided I walked back to her room and thats when I saw it written on the wall in her own blood.

Alex, am I good enough now? I gave you my heart, you took it, wrapped in barbed wire and gave it back. Now every beat of my broken heart hurts. The barbed wire is stuck, forever more stabbing me. I love you Alex. Am I good enough now?

The set my stomach off again. I ran to the bathroom, throwing up several times until there was nothing left, my stomach ached. I rinsed out my mouth. I felt awful. My head was spinning. For some unbeknowen reason to me I went back to where I found Alice. There were notes for everyone; her parents, best friends and me. My hands shook as I opened the note. There were splotches on the paper from where she had been crying whilst writting this.

Dearest Gee, you were always such a good friend to me. Shame we didn't hang out more. I'm gonna miss you sooo much and this sounds kinds sick but I'm so glad it's you whose gonna find my body. Yet I have this strange feeling we're gonna meet again some day. Good luck with the band sweetcheeks. Your music is awesome I know you guys are gonna be huge! I can just feel it. Love you forever Gee. Sorry it has to be this way but I couldn't go on living. I'll be watching over you so don't do anything really fucking crazy or I will haunt your ass. Lots of love from Ali xoxo

Tears fell thick and fast. She was writting about her own death and joking about it. And whats this about us meeting again? Christ does that mean I'm gonna follow her into the grave?
If she dies Gerard, if she dies. I had to remind myself she wasn't dead yet.

End Flash-back

Alice gentley tapping my shoulder bringing me back to the present. I could feel the tears rolling down my face. She rubbed my shoulder shoothingly.
"Gee? What's wrong sweetcheeks?" Her voice was soft but her panic seeped into it. I cried harder when she called me sweetcheeks. I don't cry for years and then all of a sudden I'm crying like it's the end of the world. I wiped my eyes, I don't fucking care if my eye-liner is running making me look like a panda.
"Come on Gee, tell me whats wrong? I'm kinda freaking out here"
"Oh fucking hell Alice. It was horrible" I whisper roughly.
"What was hun? Tell me, please?" Her voice sounded thicker and I turned to face her more, her eyes were sparkling with tears ready to fall.
"I was just" I swallowed hard. "Remembering the night I..." I chocked slightly on some sobs. "I...found you" I whispered the last part so quietly it's a wonder Alice heard me.
"Oh" She said just as quietly. I know she knew exactly what I was talking about. I looked into her eyes, I know she was remembering it too. The life-less look returned, she sighed and blinked a couple of times. It didn't go, her eyes were the same way they were the days leading up to what she did. Fuck no is she doing that shit again! I rolled over so I was straddling her. I pinned her wrists together with one hand. I cupper her face with my other. She tried to turn her head but I made her look into my eyes.
"Alice" I growled, she looked away.
"Look at me" I hissed. She still didn't.
"Fucking look at me damn it!" She looked into my eyes. They were wet with tears again. Nothing but sadness was there. I stroked her cheek gently with my thumb. Her eyes never moved from mine.
"You are not doing that shit again Alice. I won't let you. I know you remember the last time. The pain, the hospital visits, therapy. You are not puting yourself through that again. You were so much better Alice. I know your thinking about it. I can see it in your eyes." Tears began to fall thick and fast down her face and dripping off her chin. I still never moved my eyes from her. I could feel my own tears start again.
"Think about what this will do to all of us. You were only in hospital for three days and everything was fucked up. Brian is fucking useless without you. Think what this will do to all of us. Mikey will miss teasing you and Bob, Ray won't have someone to talk to about classical guitar, you understand it more then us. Think about Frankie, you don't know how much you mean to him. He loves you like a sister Ali. I do to. You know that. And Bob...well he'll be heartbroken. I think he loves you Alice, real love Alice not what that bastard did to you. Proper true real fucking love. Just promise me...you won't do it again Alice. Promise me you won't ever kill yourself." Alice shook her head. I wasn't sure what at. What I just said or that she won't promise not to kill her self.
"Please?" I whispered, reasting my forehead against hers. She shut her eyes and I did also.
"Please Alice, I can't do it again. I don't think I could save you this time. It almost destroyed me the first time"
"Okay Gee" She whispered shakily. "I won't do it again, I promise" I knew it was one of the hardest promises she ever had to make. But I was so fucking happy she promised. I kissed her on the lips hard. Her eyes opened and she rolled her eyes at me.
"You beter hope Frank doesn't see this. He will freak out" She muttered darkly. I giggled and moved so I was sitting next to her again.


Frankie's P.O.V

Gee's hiding something from me. I just know it! And if anyone would know it'll be Alice. I walked into her room. There was her and Gee heads together whispering and giggling. They saw me standing there and uprubtly stopped the conversation.


Gerard's P.O.V

"Hey baby" she grinned. She looked happy. Her eyes had a bit more life in them but it was almost forced. She was partly happy partly pretending.
"Hey sexy" he grinned back. Ali had a diffrent name for everyone. I was sweetcheecks, Frankie got called baby. Mikey was sauce pot(long story and believe me I wished I hadn't asked. Ray was honey and she called Bob Robert. She was the only one of us brave enough to do so. Normally he rips someones head off. But no Alice just gets a wince and thats it. Unfair much?


Back to Frankie's P.O.V

"Oh hey Gerard" I giggled pretending I didn't see him when he really was the first thing my eyes zeroed in on.
"I'm not interupting am I?" Gerard and Ali looked at each other beforeing giggling some more.
"Nope"aid, popping the p. I grinned again. I walked over to her bed, climbed on to it and sat on her lap. Gee rolled her eyes. I stuck my toungue out at him and then cuddled into Ali. She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my head. I giggled. Gee was sitting watching this smiling kinda smugly. He saw me looking at him. He quickly looked away, pouting and folding his arms across his chest. Faking hurt in that fucking adorable way he does. I kissed Alice cheek. I looked into her eyes, there was something missing from them. It was weird. She nodded at me and I knew what she meant. She let go of me and sat back from me a litle. I waited until I was sure Gee wasn't paying attention. I pounced on him. Our crotches rubbed together hard. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his lips. He still didn't move from his pretend hurt-ness. I looked at Alice again and she gave me 'if you must' look. I ground my crotch into Gerard's. His eyes shut and he was biteing his lip. Trying very hard not to moan. I unfolded his arms and placed his hands on my butt. The corners of his mouth twitched fighting a smile.
"For fuck sake" Alice muttered, she got out of her own hospital bed, picked up a couple of magazines and her i-pod before wandering to the toilet and shutting the door. I heard the door lock click. I ran and shut her room door, shutting the curtain around the bed as I came back. I made sure to walk back slowly. Gerard still had his arms folded but he wasn't pouting anymore. His eyes watched me intently. He was undressing me with his eyes.


Mwha ha ha ha! Evil me strikes again! Lol.

Okay guys, heres the deal. You want hot frerard then review. I've written most of it but I need reivews guys. Okay so now I'm kinda worrid incase its a bit shit and I dissapoint. If I get more reivews than I have been recently I'll post it. If not I'll imply it and type a different chapter instead. Evil I know but I really need to know if this is good or what. Choice is yours. xoxo Sam