FicWad

Part I Chapter 1 Memories

The lights on the tree sparkled bright in the darkened apartment. Duo sat quietly on the couch staring intently at the beauty of the small evergreen he had decorated for Christmas. It was really the only part of Christmas Duo would have, this year anyway, maybe ever. It had been a few years after Marimeia. The world had waited with baited breath for something to happen on the week of her anniversary, but no evil had arisen. There was nothing more than a few robberies in the big cities and that did not require the strength of the former pilots. Duo almost found himself wishing something had come up. It would give him a chance to see the other pilots, and Heero especially.
Heero Yuy, the closest thing to a best friend Duo had since Solo, not to mention one of the finest looking men Duo knew. After the war, Duo had gone back to Hilde and lived, working scrap with her. It had been a sad attempt to rid himself of the other pilot’s memory, especially when Heero showed up every other month or so to ask his help on a mission. Once Duo had asked the silent Preventer why he sought Duo out if he was so obviously annoyed by the “braided baka”, but the answer had nearly broke Duo’s heart in two. Without a hint of emotion, in his most mono-monotone, Heero had calmly told Duo that he was a last resort. Quatre was busy with his family’s empire, Trowa had promised Catherine never to leave her for battle again, and Wufei refused to work with anyone save Sally Po.
Those words were the most hurtful Heero had ever told Duo. After that, Duo had moped about Hilde’s small house. She, bless her soul, had tried everything to make Duo happy. Hilde had baked his favorite yummy treats, played his favorite movies and music, even dragged Heero into the house for a regular three day visit. Normally a visit of any sort would have lightened Duo’s spirit, but when he saw Heero the hurtful words rang in his ears until he thought he would cry. Duo had covered it up well, had smiled the famous smile that brought him through the war, had joked and flirted with Hilde, but even Heero could see the smile never reached Duo’s eyes. Heero had left having hardly said anything to Duo. Not that he would have normally, but the only words he had said gave Duo new hope.
“If you need me, call.”
Those words had kept Duo happy for a few weeks, until Hilde had broken down and told him she loved him. Saying that that conversation had been awkward was a complete understatement. There she had sat on the big green couch, looking up at him with those big blue eyes full of tears, with that endearing pout on her lips that would make weak men fall on their knees before her to confess their undying love, and Duo could only mutter in a very small shocked voice that he was gay. Hilde had immediately gone red in the face and ran out of the living room to her bedroom. Duo had sighed heavily, flopped on the couch, put his head in his hands and questioned the workings of a universe cruel enough to give him a beautiful woman who loved him and take away the only man he felt he could ever love.
Duo had gone out to a bar to drink his worries away and come home to Hilde still crying in her sleep. He had stood there, watching her silently, intently just as he was staring at his tree now. It was what the next day had brought that convinced Duo he had to leave her. She had not come down for breakfast, and when she finally emerged for lunch Hilde had avoided his eyes. The one time Duo did manage to make eye contact the hurt and pain were clearly visible, and it tore at Duo’s heart to know that he was causing it. In a way he did love her. She was the best girl friend he would ever have, most likely the most loving friend he had ever had, but he could not give her what she deserved. He could not give it because what she wanted from him, he had already saved for the stoic Heero Yuy.
That night Duo was packed and loading up his car. Hilde had watched him from her window, not hiding when he would look up at her. After loading the last of his junk into the car, Duo had turned around and stared up at her. He never did figure out how long they had stared at each other through the window, until she gave a little half wave and broke the stillness. Duo had half waved back and got into the car. It took all of his willpower not to look in the rear-view mirror to see if she had come down, but Duo knew it would only make him feel guiltier so he kept his eyes ahead.
That is why Duo found himself in his current predicament. He had a scrungy, little apartment on the bad side of town, a job fixing cars at a nearby gas station, and no friends. He had not seen Hilde once since he left her, though she called every so often to ask him how he was doing. It gave Duo little comfort because the pain was still evident in her voice, but it was more contact than he had had with the object of his affections. Heero could easily have found him with that boy’s superior skills, but Duo had not received one phone call or visit. To give Heero a little credit, Duo had to admit he had not called. Not for lack of trying, but every time he started to dial the Prussian eyed god’s number he lost his nerve and hung up again.
Duo’s thoughts ran through his mind rapidly as he sat on his sixty billionth hand couch, holding his cell phone loosely in one hand, a bottle of JD in the other, staring at his Charlie Brown Christmas tree with its one strand of lights, half strip of garland, 10 bulbs and his black hat as a topper. Staring at his tree, Duo suddenly smiled at the memory of what kept him so low on money. It was not a car, Duo had sold his, and it was not some computer or another although his old one still worked ok, but the many war orphans still roaming the streets in his part of town. Duo gave to the churches and any kid who stopped him as often as he was able and still live. Make no mistake, he still had his luxuries, like nice, black, silk boxers for example, but things like a Christmas tree being well decorated could be put to better use than for his enjoyment. Duo had even started saving half of his check so maybe one day he could adopt one of the orphans.
Duo looked down at the phone in his hand and back at his tree. I have been wishing for him every night, dreaming of him, torturing myself. Well, my Christmas wish is to see him. It’s not like he knows how I feel…why should I be nervous? Duo asked himself. A tiny voice deep inside him answered with a quick, but painful reminder of Heero’s words.
“The others are indisposed. You are the only one available.”
“Oh, well, I guess that means you are stuck with me.” Duo gave Heero a big grin.
“Hn…” Heero kept driving, paying no attention to Duo.
In an attempt to rebuff that painful memory, Duo took himself back to the last day he had seen or heard from Heero.
“If you need me, call.”
Making up his mind, Duo lifted the phone and dialed Heero’s number. He waited anxiously wondering if he would chicken out, but before he could, the phone was answered and Heero’s sweet voice was in his ear.
“Yes?”
Duo rolled his eyes, leave it to Heero to answer with yes instead of hello. “Hey! Heero buddy! How are ya?” Duo hoped his voice did not sound overly cheerful, but he was happier than he had been in a while.
“Hn…” (Translation for those of you who aren’t Duo: Same as usual.) Heero grunted the expected response and Duo felt himself grin.
“Hey, uh…if you don’t have anything going on…I thought you know….maybe we could get together tomorrow night. It’s been a while since I bugged you last, I don’t wanna get too rusty.”
“…ok.”
“Five sound ok to you? We could grab something to eat.” Duo said trying to contain his happiness. He was going to see Heero again! His golden Adonis! The man whose body he craved and worshiped!
“Yeah, all right.”
“I trust a smart guy like you doesn’t need directions so I’ll just let you go. C-ya later!”
Just like that, Duo hung up. For a minute he just stared at the phone in his hand and wondered if it really had happened or if he had just imagined talking to Heero. Suddenly Duo looked in panic around his apartment. It was not exactly what you would call furnished. Good thing he did not have to work tomorrow, so he could clean it. Like Heero would care. We stayed in worse places on the mission to L2. Duo smiled and went into his bedroom. He flopped down on the bed like a school girl and daydreamed about what the day would be like. One thing was for sure, if he never got the nerve to call Heero again, Duo would have to make tomorrow special. As he drifted off to sleep visions of Heero, naked and warm in bed with him, filled Duo’s head instead of sugar plums. Sleepily he wondered what Heero would like for Christmas.