Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Lost Music Inside
A/N: It finally starts here (:
In the last three days, Desirae had found a small portion of peace within her home life. Desirae’s father hadn’t had been too bad as he usually was. Even if she was still wrongfully punished, she was grateful it had not been worse. She for once look forward to going to school, mostly because of the project and Bob. In the three days that had gone by, she had heard more from him. She wouldn’t necessarily say they were becoming friends, but maybe if she was positive about it, they would be. The more she talked to Shanna, the more she began to collect and store information in her head and have that to think about when she was at home, and he was not there. She wasn’t trying to use Shanna for information, she loved her to pieces, it was just easier that way.
As she passed the long halls, with impatient students and unhappy teachers, she smiled as she spotted Frank standing in the corner with Mikey and Gerard laughing and being themselves. She envied the way they were so close, and she faked a smile when Frank had waved at her. Mikey and Gerard just staring at her as if she was just a wall. She made her way into the classroom and sat down at her seat where she looked for Lisa who had the same bored expression as always. She gave an understanding smile and Lisa gave one back.
“Good afternoon students, I hope the project is going well, remember I’ll be checking your progress by tomorrow. But for now, you know the drill.” Mr. Angell spoke softly and the students happily went to their partner’s tables and the chatter immediately began. Desirae watched Lisa who tiredly walked to Frank’s desk and sat down with a huff.
“So you’ll never guess what I accidentally shot last night.” She heard him being the conversation and she giggled softly, understanding that Frank wasn’t that bad, he was just goofy in a cute way. She graciously sat down and Bob looked up at her for a moment before returning to his homework from the previous class.
“Hi.” He muttered. She appreciated his acknowledge of her existence.
“Hi.” She said softly, her tone slightly higher than his had been.
“Did you finish your poem?” He asked while writing on his paper. She smiled surprised that he had remembered. She didn’t think he was listening when she had told him about her poetry for English class.
“Yeah, I got an A.” She replied and he nodded.
“Good.” He muttered and she blushed, not questioning his sudden niceness. She would take whatever he gave her. His hands continued to do delicate strokes on the paper and she watched his fingers lift and come down with every cursive.
“Your bruise healed.” He stated looking at her wrist. She always forgot to cover up her arms, but her the deep purple spot was now a yellowish color.
“Its heals pretty fast.” Lie. She told herself.
“You’re lucky, mine usually takes a couple weeks to heal.” He mumbled. She began to ponder if he was being quiet or if his voice was just naturally low. Either way, it was soft spoken. It fit him nicely.
“Lucky isn’t necessarily the word I would use.” She replied.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” She said casually while looking down and folding her hands. He shrugged and continued on with his math homework and he cursed himself as he just didn’t understand how to do it. It confused him to no end and honestly, he had more important things to worry about. A lot more.
“Stupid.” He muttered.
“Huh?” She said confused.
“Nothing. I was thinking about something.” He replied quickly.
“Oh.”
He nodded and eventually slammed his book shut, wishing he could throw the book out the window, at someone, or just throw it away in general. As much as he hated to admit, school was just not for him. Sure it gave you things to know in the future, but were they really that important? Maybe if you wanted to be a doctor or whatever. He had other plans and he would rather being doing that than schoolwork. Desirae jumped slightly but calmed when he seemed to be amused by her movement. She sat back down in her seat and she shifted around the classroom and back to Bob who finally looked up again. They met eyes and his blue eyes and her green eyes clashed and she couldn’t tell who had pulled away first.
“You’re bleeding.” She said softly as she noticed his hand has crimson peeping out. He observed his hand and shook it off as if it was nothing.
“I’m used to it, happens all the time.”
“You’re hands bleed all the time?” She asked with a laugh. He seemed to smile back.
“I just meant that I do yard work and I’m used to my hands getting scraped and cut. I don’t feel it that much.”
“Hmm.” She replied still staring at the cut and suddenly her mind flashed to a horrible place and her breath became uneasy.
“Are you alright?” He got her out of her state and she became flushed.
“You look like you’re going to be sick.” He added. She shook her head.
“Is it the cut? Cause I’ll I cover it if you want..?” He trailed off and wondered if she was afraid of blood. He watched her head sink down and her hands clasped together tightly.
“Really. It’s okay.” She assured and put her thoughts to the back of her head and tried to not let the memory get to her at school. She didn’t notice the person standing next to her until he spoke.
“Bob man are you going to our house tonight?” She looked up to see Gerard.
“Sure. But I can’t stay super late like last time.”
“Those are the best nights.” Gerard retorted.
“I’ll meet you at the gates.” Bob smiled.
“Sure thing.”
“Mr. Way, any reason why you’re out of your seat?”
“Just asking a question sir.” Gerard retorted.
“Well finish and head back to your desk.” Mr. Angell raised his eyebrow to Gerard who grumbled and walked away. She watched Bob shake his head and she smiled softly. The bell erupted and soon the kids cheered and scampered out while she headed back and gathered her things.
“See you tomorrow.” He said softly and she nodded.
“See you.” She replied as she watched him go out the classroom and turn the corner. She walked in the opposite direction and pushed the school door open and welcomed the warmth of the sun as it shined down on her face and hair. It had went better than she expected it to.
She crossed the dirt road and no sooner than did she take one step that her favorite person in the world had lunged and fell into her arms.
“Hello!” She cried.
“Hi.” Desirae giggled as Shanna had pulled out of her arms and swung her arms.
“How was your day?” She asked sweetly.
“Mine was fine, how about yours?”
“Fine.” She repeated and led the way as they walked home.
“How’s your mom?” Desirae asked after they trailed down the road and unusual silence had passed.
“Not so good.” She frowned. Desirae patted her back and Shanna smiled at her. It felt good to have someone do that to you.
“She’s going to get better.” Desirae encouraged once more. A thing she reminded Shanna everyday as they walked home and Shanna tried to so hard to believe those words.
“Where’s your mama?” Shanna asked and it was Desirae’s turn to frown.
“In heaven.”
“I’m sorry.” Her meek voice was now low.
“It’s okay.”
“So its just you and your daddy?”
“Mmhmm.” Desirae nodded.
“I wish my daddy was home more often. He’s always working.”
“I’m sure he wishes he could be home too.” Desirae consoled. Their feet eventually stopped at the memorable cream house and this time Shanna looked at Desirae with hopefulness.
“Can you come in and have a tea party with me?”
“I wish I could…but.”
“Please? It’ll be fun I promise!” She pleaded and Desirae looked down into her large eyes and just couldn’t refuse. She would say yes and she would make an excuse for her father later. She didn’t want to think about what would happen later.
“For a little while okay?”
“Okay!” She clapped her hands and took Desirae’s in her own. She dragged her up the front steps and opened the door. Desirae gasped at how neat and decorated it was. Homemade paintings were on the wall. And bible scriptures were engraved into the frames. The walls were a beige and the furniture were vintage and spotless. She smiled as it gave off a welcoming presence and she barely realized where she was at.
His house. The place where he sleeps and lives. The nervous tension embraced her stomach as Shanna led her into the kitchen where a woman dressed in blue was washing dishes. Her dark skin clashed with the color and her brown hair was curled in a nice flowing way. Her voice hummed a song as her hands moved.
She turned around with a surprised look on her face but smiled.
“Shanna who’s your friend?”
“Miss Rosalina! This is my friend Desirae. She’s goes to school where Bob goes.”
“Really? That’s nice.” Her voice was soft and sweet. She dried her hands on the dish towel and extended one to Desirae who kindly shook it.
“I’m Rosalina. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled one last time and returned to the dishes.
“We’ll be in the back yard.”
“Be careful.” She called as Shanna was already out the door and Desirae followed and her eyes widened at the scene. The yard was large and open. There was a river as well, but the yard had green grass and there was an area made for tables and a garden that consisted of many flowers with all kinds of colors. She stood in awe as Shanna motioned her to sit.
“Do you like it?” She smiled.
“It’s pretty.”
“I come out here a lot. Mostly by myself. I like to catch things.”
“I do the same at my house.” Desirae replied.
“I like to catch butterflies. There so pretty! I once caught a pink one.”
“A pink one?”
“Yeah, but it flew away after I caught it. I never saw one again.” She frowned.
“I’m sure it’ll come again soon. Butterflies never stay away from too long.”
“Ya think so?”
“Of course.”
Shanna smiled and looked from left to right.
“I forgot about the tea! Wait here, while I grab my set from the kitchen! I’ll be right back!” She cried and ran back into the house with lightning speed. Desirae awkwardly sat on the cement wall and twiddled pieces of grass in her hands. Her mind slipping into its own world as she tried to picture a pink butterfly. What she wouldn’t give to actually see one. But her favorite would always be blue. Another flashback came to her and she didn’t mind this one from coming.
”Open your hands!” Her mother said softly and Desirae opened them. Her mother quickly put the butterfly in Desirae’s hands and she began to squirm.
“Don’t worry it won’t hurt you. Butterflies will never hurt you.” She smiled as the girl became used to the flapping creature and opened her hands slightly to see a bright blue butterfly flutter as it tried to escape. She gasped at the beautifulness of it. She looked back at her mom and her mother rubbed her hair.
“You can let it go if you want.” Desirae shook her head. She held onto for a few more minutes and finally let it fly free as it flapped its wings and twirled in the air.
“Mommy I want to be a butterfly.” Desirae frowned.
“Sweetie you are one. You’ll always be.” She hugged her and they chased the butterfly through the field….
Desirae smiled and looked around for one. A yellow one was flying around in front of her and she let it pass. She pictured as her mother’s way of being there with her. She held her hands out to try and catch it.
“What are you doing in my backyard?” Someone asked and she turned around to find Bob giving her a confused look. She probably looked like a stalker. She stumbled for words as she stood up.
“I-I-was invited.” She said quickly not expecting him to be home.
“By who-”
“Desirae!” Shanna appeared and Desirae sighed in relief. Shanna juggled the pink tea set and stared at Bob with a smile.
“Bob you know Desirae.” He nodded.
“She’s my friend!” Shanna cheered and Bob looked even more dumbfounded.
“You know my sister?” He asked. She nodded nervously.
“Well we’re going to play tea so bye!” She dragged Desirae back into the house without another word. Desirae looked back at Bob who raised an eyebrow but shrugged and walked off. She never felt more embarrassed, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling as she replayed his face.
“I can’t wait for you to come over for another tea party. It’s fun having another person. Bob doesn’t like tea, but you do!” She cheered as they sat on the kitchen table.
Something told her she would be seeing him more than she thought…..
In the last three days, Desirae had found a small portion of peace within her home life. Desirae’s father hadn’t had been too bad as he usually was. Even if she was still wrongfully punished, she was grateful it had not been worse. She for once look forward to going to school, mostly because of the project and Bob. In the three days that had gone by, she had heard more from him. She wouldn’t necessarily say they were becoming friends, but maybe if she was positive about it, they would be. The more she talked to Shanna, the more she began to collect and store information in her head and have that to think about when she was at home, and he was not there. She wasn’t trying to use Shanna for information, she loved her to pieces, it was just easier that way.
As she passed the long halls, with impatient students and unhappy teachers, she smiled as she spotted Frank standing in the corner with Mikey and Gerard laughing and being themselves. She envied the way they were so close, and she faked a smile when Frank had waved at her. Mikey and Gerard just staring at her as if she was just a wall. She made her way into the classroom and sat down at her seat where she looked for Lisa who had the same bored expression as always. She gave an understanding smile and Lisa gave one back.
“Good afternoon students, I hope the project is going well, remember I’ll be checking your progress by tomorrow. But for now, you know the drill.” Mr. Angell spoke softly and the students happily went to their partner’s tables and the chatter immediately began. Desirae watched Lisa who tiredly walked to Frank’s desk and sat down with a huff.
“So you’ll never guess what I accidentally shot last night.” She heard him being the conversation and she giggled softly, understanding that Frank wasn’t that bad, he was just goofy in a cute way. She graciously sat down and Bob looked up at her for a moment before returning to his homework from the previous class.
“Hi.” He muttered. She appreciated his acknowledge of her existence.
“Hi.” She said softly, her tone slightly higher than his had been.
“Did you finish your poem?” He asked while writing on his paper. She smiled surprised that he had remembered. She didn’t think he was listening when she had told him about her poetry for English class.
“Yeah, I got an A.” She replied and he nodded.
“Good.” He muttered and she blushed, not questioning his sudden niceness. She would take whatever he gave her. His hands continued to do delicate strokes on the paper and she watched his fingers lift and come down with every cursive.
“Your bruise healed.” He stated looking at her wrist. She always forgot to cover up her arms, but her the deep purple spot was now a yellowish color.
“Its heals pretty fast.” Lie. She told herself.
“You’re lucky, mine usually takes a couple weeks to heal.” He mumbled. She began to ponder if he was being quiet or if his voice was just naturally low. Either way, it was soft spoken. It fit him nicely.
“Lucky isn’t necessarily the word I would use.” She replied.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” She said casually while looking down and folding her hands. He shrugged and continued on with his math homework and he cursed himself as he just didn’t understand how to do it. It confused him to no end and honestly, he had more important things to worry about. A lot more.
“Stupid.” He muttered.
“Huh?” She said confused.
“Nothing. I was thinking about something.” He replied quickly.
“Oh.”
He nodded and eventually slammed his book shut, wishing he could throw the book out the window, at someone, or just throw it away in general. As much as he hated to admit, school was just not for him. Sure it gave you things to know in the future, but were they really that important? Maybe if you wanted to be a doctor or whatever. He had other plans and he would rather being doing that than schoolwork. Desirae jumped slightly but calmed when he seemed to be amused by her movement. She sat back down in her seat and she shifted around the classroom and back to Bob who finally looked up again. They met eyes and his blue eyes and her green eyes clashed and she couldn’t tell who had pulled away first.
“You’re bleeding.” She said softly as she noticed his hand has crimson peeping out. He observed his hand and shook it off as if it was nothing.
“I’m used to it, happens all the time.”
“You’re hands bleed all the time?” She asked with a laugh. He seemed to smile back.
“I just meant that I do yard work and I’m used to my hands getting scraped and cut. I don’t feel it that much.”
“Hmm.” She replied still staring at the cut and suddenly her mind flashed to a horrible place and her breath became uneasy.
“Are you alright?” He got her out of her state and she became flushed.
“You look like you’re going to be sick.” He added. She shook her head.
“Is it the cut? Cause I’ll I cover it if you want..?” He trailed off and wondered if she was afraid of blood. He watched her head sink down and her hands clasped together tightly.
“Really. It’s okay.” She assured and put her thoughts to the back of her head and tried to not let the memory get to her at school. She didn’t notice the person standing next to her until he spoke.
“Bob man are you going to our house tonight?” She looked up to see Gerard.
“Sure. But I can’t stay super late like last time.”
“Those are the best nights.” Gerard retorted.
“I’ll meet you at the gates.” Bob smiled.
“Sure thing.”
“Mr. Way, any reason why you’re out of your seat?”
“Just asking a question sir.” Gerard retorted.
“Well finish and head back to your desk.” Mr. Angell raised his eyebrow to Gerard who grumbled and walked away. She watched Bob shake his head and she smiled softly. The bell erupted and soon the kids cheered and scampered out while she headed back and gathered her things.
“See you tomorrow.” He said softly and she nodded.
“See you.” She replied as she watched him go out the classroom and turn the corner. She walked in the opposite direction and pushed the school door open and welcomed the warmth of the sun as it shined down on her face and hair. It had went better than she expected it to.
She crossed the dirt road and no sooner than did she take one step that her favorite person in the world had lunged and fell into her arms.
“Hello!” She cried.
“Hi.” Desirae giggled as Shanna had pulled out of her arms and swung her arms.
“How was your day?” She asked sweetly.
“Mine was fine, how about yours?”
“Fine.” She repeated and led the way as they walked home.
“How’s your mom?” Desirae asked after they trailed down the road and unusual silence had passed.
“Not so good.” She frowned. Desirae patted her back and Shanna smiled at her. It felt good to have someone do that to you.
“She’s going to get better.” Desirae encouraged once more. A thing she reminded Shanna everyday as they walked home and Shanna tried to so hard to believe those words.
“Where’s your mama?” Shanna asked and it was Desirae’s turn to frown.
“In heaven.”
“I’m sorry.” Her meek voice was now low.
“It’s okay.”
“So its just you and your daddy?”
“Mmhmm.” Desirae nodded.
“I wish my daddy was home more often. He’s always working.”
“I’m sure he wishes he could be home too.” Desirae consoled. Their feet eventually stopped at the memorable cream house and this time Shanna looked at Desirae with hopefulness.
“Can you come in and have a tea party with me?”
“I wish I could…but.”
“Please? It’ll be fun I promise!” She pleaded and Desirae looked down into her large eyes and just couldn’t refuse. She would say yes and she would make an excuse for her father later. She didn’t want to think about what would happen later.
“For a little while okay?”
“Okay!” She clapped her hands and took Desirae’s in her own. She dragged her up the front steps and opened the door. Desirae gasped at how neat and decorated it was. Homemade paintings were on the wall. And bible scriptures were engraved into the frames. The walls were a beige and the furniture were vintage and spotless. She smiled as it gave off a welcoming presence and she barely realized where she was at.
His house. The place where he sleeps and lives. The nervous tension embraced her stomach as Shanna led her into the kitchen where a woman dressed in blue was washing dishes. Her dark skin clashed with the color and her brown hair was curled in a nice flowing way. Her voice hummed a song as her hands moved.
She turned around with a surprised look on her face but smiled.
“Shanna who’s your friend?”
“Miss Rosalina! This is my friend Desirae. She’s goes to school where Bob goes.”
“Really? That’s nice.” Her voice was soft and sweet. She dried her hands on the dish towel and extended one to Desirae who kindly shook it.
“I’m Rosalina. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled one last time and returned to the dishes.
“We’ll be in the back yard.”
“Be careful.” She called as Shanna was already out the door and Desirae followed and her eyes widened at the scene. The yard was large and open. There was a river as well, but the yard had green grass and there was an area made for tables and a garden that consisted of many flowers with all kinds of colors. She stood in awe as Shanna motioned her to sit.
“Do you like it?” She smiled.
“It’s pretty.”
“I come out here a lot. Mostly by myself. I like to catch things.”
“I do the same at my house.” Desirae replied.
“I like to catch butterflies. There so pretty! I once caught a pink one.”
“A pink one?”
“Yeah, but it flew away after I caught it. I never saw one again.” She frowned.
“I’m sure it’ll come again soon. Butterflies never stay away from too long.”
“Ya think so?”
“Of course.”
Shanna smiled and looked from left to right.
“I forgot about the tea! Wait here, while I grab my set from the kitchen! I’ll be right back!” She cried and ran back into the house with lightning speed. Desirae awkwardly sat on the cement wall and twiddled pieces of grass in her hands. Her mind slipping into its own world as she tried to picture a pink butterfly. What she wouldn’t give to actually see one. But her favorite would always be blue. Another flashback came to her and she didn’t mind this one from coming.
”Open your hands!” Her mother said softly and Desirae opened them. Her mother quickly put the butterfly in Desirae’s hands and she began to squirm.
“Don’t worry it won’t hurt you. Butterflies will never hurt you.” She smiled as the girl became used to the flapping creature and opened her hands slightly to see a bright blue butterfly flutter as it tried to escape. She gasped at the beautifulness of it. She looked back at her mom and her mother rubbed her hair.
“You can let it go if you want.” Desirae shook her head. She held onto for a few more minutes and finally let it fly free as it flapped its wings and twirled in the air.
“Mommy I want to be a butterfly.” Desirae frowned.
“Sweetie you are one. You’ll always be.” She hugged her and they chased the butterfly through the field….
Desirae smiled and looked around for one. A yellow one was flying around in front of her and she let it pass. She pictured as her mother’s way of being there with her. She held her hands out to try and catch it.
“What are you doing in my backyard?” Someone asked and she turned around to find Bob giving her a confused look. She probably looked like a stalker. She stumbled for words as she stood up.
“I-I-was invited.” She said quickly not expecting him to be home.
“By who-”
“Desirae!” Shanna appeared and Desirae sighed in relief. Shanna juggled the pink tea set and stared at Bob with a smile.
“Bob you know Desirae.” He nodded.
“She’s my friend!” Shanna cheered and Bob looked even more dumbfounded.
“You know my sister?” He asked. She nodded nervously.
“Well we’re going to play tea so bye!” She dragged Desirae back into the house without another word. Desirae looked back at Bob who raised an eyebrow but shrugged and walked off. She never felt more embarrassed, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling as she replayed his face.
“I can’t wait for you to come over for another tea party. It’s fun having another person. Bob doesn’t like tea, but you do!” She cheered as they sat on the kitchen table.
Something told her she would be seeing him more than she thought…..
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