FicWad

I collapsed on the floor, as I didn't think I could stand with the amount of crying I was doing.

I wish he would just stop all this. I'm just so confused.

"Katie stand up sugar. I'm sorry I snapped at you like that earlier, I didn't mean to, I was just so angry." Gerard lifted me off the ground so I was standing, but the tears never stopped.

"G-Gerard, you k-know that I don't h-have a choice..."

"Yes you did! That could've been your escape, to start again! To live the life you want not what he wants!"

"What? With you?"

"Yeah." He whispered.

I shook my head.

"Fine, then look me dead in the eye and tell me you don't want to be with me."

I did just that, and saw that his beautiful hazel eyes were filled with nothing but sadness, and I was the cause of that.

"I...I don't want to be with you Gerard." Although something at the back of my mind was screaming at me that wasn't true.

Gerard let go of me and stood on the other side of the bathroom to me.

"This is all awkward now isn't it? If you hadn't come to see me and found out what Daniel was doing, we would never have slept together, and I wouldn't be so confused...and we wouldn't be where we are now, would we?" I gently said.

Gerard nodded slightly, "I guess you're right." But then his face was filled with confusion, "Why are you confused?"

"Because you always tell me you love me and tell me all these other things...and when you kiss me...I never pull back, I always kiss you back and...I don't know."

He came to me with such speed, I thought he was going to hit me, but instead he put his hands on the wall either side of me, his face close to mine.

"You might be feeling this way because maybe...just maybe...you love me too." He said quietly.

I shook my head, "No."

His eyes were staring at me lips with hunger.

"You need to let me go Gerard."

Before I knew it his lips were attached to mine once again.

Both of us putting in so much passion into the kiss it was like we had been apart for years.

Gerard started kissing my jaw line down to my neck and was biting and sucking, none of us caring if it left a mark.

I could feel Gerard's hard member on my leg through his trousers and I stroked it causing him to moan, biting a little too hard.

"Sorry baby." He mumbled before kissed me full on the mouth again, slipping his tongue in my mouth.

Gerard's hand started crawling up my back until he found the zipper that did up my dress and unzipped it, and my dress slid to the floor, leaving me in only my underwear.

I took no time in getting his clothes off, and he was only left in his black boxers.

I pulled Gerard back to me and kissed him hard as he was pulling down my panties.

After he did that he lifted me up so that my legs were wrapped around him and my arms around his neck. Soon after he took his boxers off and my bra.

He kissed me again and almost entered me when I stopped him.

"What is it sugar?"

"Top left drawer." He looked confused but still holding me, he looked in the drawer and laughed when he noticed I had a few condoms in there.

"Thanks kitten." Never letting me go, he put on the condom, kissed me again and pushed into me.

Like last time, each thrust got faster and faster until I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Baby...so close-e." I said before kissing his neck.

Hearing this, Gerard thrust even faster until I could feel myself losing it.

"OH GERARD!" I screamed.

Hearing that, he then came, "KATIE!" He screamed.

He soon slowed down to a stop and pulled out of me, and placed me on the floor. I held onto his neck still, fearing I would fall over if I let go.

His hands were resting on my waist, his forehead resting on mine, both of us listening to the other's breathing.

When our breathing was normal, Gerard looked me in the eye, and I saw anger and sadness.

"Get dressed." He whispered harshly.

A little taken aback, I just nodded and we both got dressed in silence.

After we were both dressed, I turned back to Gerard who looked at me with nothing but anger.

I didn't know if the anger was directed at me though.

I was about to open my mouth to say something, but was shut up by Gerard's lips...again!

Gerard tongue went along my bottom lip, asking for entrance this time, and I opened my mouth and let his tongue explore my mouth once again.

He picked me up like before and I wrapped my legs around his body. I felt that he was walking, but because I didn't want to open my eyes, I didn't know where he was taking me.

He kept on walking, and then I felt cold air hit my skin, still I never opened my eyes, but continued to enjoy this incredibly long kiss with Gerard.

I heard him open what I thought was a car door and he lay me down in it and placed my legs in.

Next he took his lips from him and closed the door. I was a little shocked to see I was in a taxi.

"Lock the back doors." I heard him say to the driver, and I heard the doors click meaning they were now locked.

Knowing I couldn't get out I rolled down the window.

"Gerard, what are you doing?" He looked back at me and I saw tears running down his beautiful pale face.

"You need to get to Daniel's, he'll be waiting for you." I shook me head slightly, letting him know I didn't understand what he was trying to say.

He faced the driver again.

"Go to this address," He handed him a piece of paper, "And don't stop the car until you're there and make sure she goes inside."

What was he saying? What was he thinking?

"Gerard, please tell me what are you doing?" He moved from the driver's window to mine and kneeled down.

"I'm doing what you told me to do angel..." He stroked my cheek as tears started streaming down my own face, "I'm letting you go."

Before I had time to register what he just said, his hand was removed from my cheek and he began walking away from the car.

"Gerard! Gerard come back! Please Gerard! Don't leave me!" He didn't listen and was still walking away. I saw his face come up to his face and my guess was he was wiping away tears.

"GERARD!" I screamed as loud as I could.

Before I knew it, the taxi started moving.

"Stop the car. I said STOP THE FUCKING CAR!" He never listened to me either.

No body was listening to me. All I could of to do was lay down in the back seat and cry out all my anger, frustration and sadness, until I got to my finacée's house.

The next week went by horribly slow.

I was never happy, but Daniel never saw this as he went away to New York for a couple of weeks.

His exact words were:
I'm going to New York for some good sex. I'll see you whenever I choose to come back.

So, I've been miserbale. Even around Ali, Mikey and Frank I never hid how I was feeling, although I never told them the reason why.

I haven't seen Gerard. I know he's still here and still with Ali, but...he's been avoiding me.

I guess he really meant it when he said he was letting me go.

I haven't been able to sleep well since that night. How we were both so sad by what had happened.

It's like I've had my heart ripped from my chest, and shattered into a billion pieces.

I wouldn't ask why I was feeling this way, because I don't have an answer. I seriously don't know why I'm this upset. I mean...he did what I asked him to do. I told him he needed to let me go, and that's exactly what he did. So why do I feel like I've lost something special forever.

From what I heard from Mikey, Gerard said that he wants to move forward with Ali, and is thinking about asking her to marry him.

You know what I did when I heard that?

I screamed bloody murder and threw a plate at poor innocent Mikey, missing him by a tiny bit. Mikey was so confused and shocked he never said anything but just left.

I did feel bad though. It wasn't his fault his older brother makes me mad. I apologised to Mikey and thankfully, he forgave me.

Oh and when I said I hadn't seen Gerard, well that was a little lie. I had seen him, but he hadn't seen me.

Confused? Well let me explain.

On Wenesdays, only recently, Ali has been staying with her grandmother to help her out a little, so I took this time to go see him.

I went round really late, so that I knew he would be asleep. And luckily he was.

I got in the bedroom where he was sleeping and knelt down beside him, and gently stroked his cheek.

After that, I searched through my bag I had bought with me and took out the one thing he is deathly afraid of.

A needle.

I took his arm slowly from underneath he covers and pushed the needle in it. When I brought it back out, some of his blood was in the needle. Just the thing I came here for.

I know, you must be thinking I'm crazy for wanting his blood. But I promise you, it will become so much clearer soon, but now isn't the right time to say.

I came back home, hoping he didn't know I was there, and if he did he never told me.

Now I just have to wait.

A week later, I was still feeling pretty shitty with everything and everyone, but I finally understand why. It was so simple.

I had the biggest smile on my face when I woke up that morning.

I had to go see Mikey and Frank! I thought.

I shot out of bed, puked, had a shower, got dressed and drove to their house.

Getting out the car, I was so excited to see them. I banged on the door.

Withing seconds the door swung open.

"Katie!? What the fuck? You're not here to try and kill me again are you?" Mikey asked, a little scared.

I shook my head, "No, I have amazing news!" I hugged Mikey and told him to get Frank as I wanted to tell them together.

"Woah Katie what is it? I was about to take a shower." Came Franks 'trying-to-sound-annoyed' voice.

"I have the best news ever!" I shouted.

They both looked at me eagarly.

I took a deep breath, the smile never leaving my face, "I'M PREGNANT!"

Their eyes filled with happiness so quickly and Frank quickly came to hug me.

"Congratualtions." He whispered.

Mikey was sat in shock, "Oh my god. I'M GOING TO BE A UNCLE!"

"Yeah...wait? How do you know you're an uncle?" I quizzed him.

He looked at Frank, then to the floor, "Gerard told us everything Kaite. After you slept together the first time. He told us about the second time aswell. We're really sorry to hear what happened between you two by the way. Anyway, he told us about Daniel as well."

"Okay...but what's that got to do with knowing you're an uncle?"

"Well, I figured because you're really excited about it, it has to be Gee's. Am I right?" I nodded, he smiled.

"Does Gerard know?" Frank asked, I shook my head.

"I should tell him though. I will today. Just got to find the right time I guess." Soon after I left.

I thought, as I left, I should get it over and done with now. I was a little scared to see him as he wasn't too happy with me, but maybe we'll go back to normal once I've told him.

I first went to Ali's. No answer.

I went to Gerard's. No answer.

I searched everywhere I could think of, until one place came to mind.

Hot Topic.

Of course! I wasn't needed at work today, but Ali was. Gerard must be with her.

I quickly got in my car and drove to the place I'm at for most of the week.

When I got into Hot Topic, just as I thought, Ali and Gerard were there, talking.

I rushed in and grabbed Ali and pulled in for the tightest hug I could give.

"Woah Jenny! Have I ever told you how much I like breathing?" She laughed.

I let go of her, "Sorry, but I'm just...so happy...you wouldn't believe it." I smiled big!

I sat on the other side of the till to Ali and Gerard. I never looked at him, but I could feel his eyes on me, even worse I could feel his anger on me!

"Why you so happy girl?" I shook my head.

"All will be revealed Ali, soon. Don't you worry."

"Bitch! Why can't you tell me now."

I laughed, "Nope another time."

She sighed, "Fine, I need to go to Starbucks, get some coffee. Anybody want any?"

I shook my head.

"I'll come with you baby." Said Gerard.

"No don't worry I can go by myself. Stay here keep Jenny company. Try get out of her why she's so happy."

Gerard pulled Ali back and kissed, almost the same as if he was kissing me. The only difference was, it wasn't me who he was kissing.

"See you in a little while baby." She said, "You too Jen." I said bye and she left, leaving me and, well I suppose my ex-lover, alone.

It was silent for a minute, until Gerard punched the wall behind him, causing me to jump in shock.

"Damn it Kaite what do you want!?" He yelled, "Do you not understand why I put you in that cab? That was goodbye Katie! I mean I know we would see each other eventually, but you have come here on purpose!"

My breathing got faster. He was scaring me.

"G-Gerard. There's something I need to tell you. Last week...I came to see you when you were sleeping...a-and...I took some of your blood..."

"You...you WHAT!? Have you completely lost it!? Are you fucking CRAZY!?"

I shook my head, "No, there was a reason for it. I took your blood and Daniel's blood to my doctor and...you're gonna be a dad."

His angered face turned softer and calmer and his frown turned into a huge grin.

He started laughing, "You're pregnant? I-I'm gonna be a dad?" I nodded, "Oh my god." He whispered.

Gerard stood up and came round to where I was and hugged me, "Oh my god I can't believe this is happening to me, to us. I'm gonna be a dad!" He pulled away to see me crying. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Gerard. I hurt you really bad, I never intended on doing that I --"

"Woah calm down sugar. Don't worry about it. I was never mad at you ever. It thought it would be easier to get over you but...it didn't work one damn bit." I smiled.

"Y-you still love me?"

"Hell yeah I still love you. I love the both of you." He pulled my top up and planted kisses on my stomach. I giggled as it slightly tickled.

"Just out curiosity, so far along are you?"

"Two and half months."

Gerard thought about it for a moment, I had already figured it out, but I was gonna let him get it on his own.

Soon it came to him, "Oh yeah...we never used protection the first time." We both laughed.

Soon Gerard stopped laughing and looked over my shoulder, my guess to see if anyone was coming, and back at me.

"I'm gonna be there for our baby Katie. You're not getting rid of me."

"I don't plan to get rid of you." We smiled once more, and yet again his lips managed to find mine.

We weren't frenching, but they were like little kisses still filled with love.

I knew Gerard loved me so much.

But I don't love him back.

Or did I?