FicWad

This is the sequal to The Haury Jovich Show. Enjoy!

Haury Jovich was in a foul mood. His wife had just informed him she wanted a divorce and his secret lover Janie had just informed him she was pregnant. He didn't believe it was his. After all, how did he know he was the only guy she had slept with? His wife was threatening to take half of his hard earned cash, and Janie was threatening to do a DNA test once the brat was born, so she could get Child Support. On top of that, it looked like his once thick hair was falling out. He sighed. What had he done to deserve this?

"We're on in five, sir," Said his new assistant, Laura, who was blond and very beautiful. Haury smiled flirtatiously at her and told her he'd be right there. She blushed and disappeared. Maybe things weren't so bad after all?

He took a good, hard look in the vanity mirror and shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was time to put his sympathetic face on or no-one would watch his show. "Let's get this shit on the road," He whispered to himself.

*

"Hello and Welcome to the Haury Povich show! Today we are going to look back at some of our most memorable moments. We have some notorious guests backstage, who ya'll loved so much, we just had to invite them back to see how they're doing," The audience clapped enthusiastically. "So, without further ado, let's bring out a young man who was left devastated when it was revealed that his long-term boyfriend was cheating on him with, well, pretty much anything with a pulse," The audience booed and hissed. "Put you're hands together for Frank!"

The audience went wild as the pale, handsome young man came down the stairs and shook Haury's hands warmly. "How are you doing, Frank?" Asked Haury. kindly.

"I'm great!" Beamed Frank.

"Well you certainly look a LOT happier then the last time you were on the show," Haury observed.

"I am, Haury. I am," Confirmed Frank, with a sly grin.

"Tell us why that is," Urged Haury, even more slyly. He already knew of course, and he also knew the answer was going to cause a storm.

"Well, as you all know, the last time I was on here, I was certain my boyfriend Gerard was having an affair. When it was proved he was indeed cheating on me, you offered us counselling and shit. Well, that didn't work because I was still pissed off with the motherfucker. So I thought, why get mad, when you can get even?" Amazingly, the audience seemed to agree with him.

"So what did you do, Frank?" Haury asked, raising his greying eyebrows.

"I cheated on him," Frank confessed, "With his brother Mikey!"

The audience was shocked at this piece of information and booed and cursed at him angrily. Frank did not look bothered in the least. "You haven't seen Mikey," He yelled as he tried to justify his actions, "He's hot!"

"But he's you're boyfriends brother, Frank. That's just wrong," Haury shook his head in disappointment. But really, he was delighted as he knew Gerard was going to go insane. You could tell that guy was a maniac just by looking at him.

"He hurt me. That was wrong. But I forgave him, so he should forgive me," Frank bargained.

"We'll see. Let's bring out Gerard," Everyone clapped sympathetically as the attractive young man made his way to his seat. He sat down and smiled at Haury and kissed Frank.

"How are you feeling, Gerard?" Asked Haury, sympathetically.

"A little nervous. I just want to know why Frank has brought us here again,"

"Before we get to that. Can I just ask you one thing? Have you been faithful to Frank since the last show?" Haury folded his arms and observed the man intensely.

"Yes," Gerard replied, truthfully. He squeezed Frank's hand warmly and the audience shook their heads sadly.

"Tell him why you've brought him here, Frank," Encouraged Haury, bracing himself for the violent onslaught that was undoubtedly coming.

"Gerard," Started Frank, "You know I love you, right? You are my whole world," They smiled at each other lovingly, and a woman in the front row burst into tears. "But I have to tell you something. I've been cheating on you," He paused and stared at Gerard who had gone very still, "With Mikey," He finished, quietly.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Screamed Gerard, getting up and kicking his chair in fury. "BASTARD!" He shouted, as he picked it up and threw it at the T.V screen.

"Now Gerard. Calm down, hear what he has to say," Said Haury. sternly.

"For fucks sake! He's been sleeping with...oh my God," Gerard looked like he was about to be sick. "My baby brother. How could you?" He cried in rage.

Frank shrugged, "It just happened."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? How is it even possible? Mikey is straight," He argued.

"Not any more he's not," Frank replied, with a satisfied smirk.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Gerard launched himself at Frank like a missile. The two fell to the ground with Gerard on top who looked like he was attempting to strangle his boyfriend. Frank retaliated by bitch-slapping him across the face. By then, security had stepped in and pulled Gerard off him, but before they did, he managed to kick Frank in the groin. Hard.

"Asshole!" Frank gasped breathlessly, as he writhed in obvious pain on the floor.

"I'd like to see you sleeping with him now, motherfucker!" Gerard hissed, triumphantly.

"Okay, guys. That's enough," Haury said, totally non-plussed by the fight he had just witnessed, as he helped Frank to his feet. "This is getting ridiculous." He faced the audience, "There's only one way to resolve this situation." Everyone waited with baited breath to see what would happen next. "My next guest may be able to put an end to this madness. Put you're hands together for Mikey Way. Gerard's younger brother!"

Gerard and Frank whirled around as a very thin man with glasses walked out. "YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Gerard roared when he saw him.

"Blah, blah blah," Mikey rolled his eyes at his older brother. He strolled up to Frank and planted a kiss on his cheek. Gerard let out a stream of shocking expletives and had to be held back by four security guards, who where looking slightly alarmed at his strength.

"Welcome to the show Mikey. I wish you could take a seat, but as you can see...," Haury glanced in Gerard's direction.

"I know. My brother is a fucking drama queen," Mikey sniffed.

"Mikey. How could you sleep with Frank?" Gerard demanded.

"It was easier then I thought it would be," Mikey replied, as he exchanged knowing glances with Frank.

"You know how I feel about him. You know how much I love him and still you did this?" Gerard tried to free himself desperately.

"Love? You don't love him. You're just a hussy who sleeps around," Mikey clicked his fingers in a rather feminine way to emphasise his point.

Gerard spat at him but missed. The audience were on their feet now, half of them were angry, half of them were just enjoying the whole spectacle. Some of them were chanting HUSSY at Gerard. "At least I can get some, unlike you ugly fuckers!" He yelled in retaliation.

Haury decided to take control of the situation before it got too crazy. He held up his hands and everyone became silent. He turned to Gerard, "If we are going to sort this situation out, you are going to have to control that temper AND that filthy mouth of your's," He folded his arms and waited for a reaction.

After a long while, Gerard spoke. "Fine," He stopped struggling and the guards let him loose. He reached into his pockets and lit a cigarette. That seemed to calm his anger.

"Excellent. Now we can make progress," Their chairs were placed back on stage, though with a safe distance between each and Haury gestured for them to all sit down. They did so, but not before giving each other foul looks. "Mikey, please explain why you slept with you're brothers boyfriend," All eyes turned in his direction.

Mikey looked at Haury, "Well, it all started about two months ago. Frank came to my apartment in tears about Gerard's philandering ways. I consoled him and the next thing you know, BAM!" He clapped his hands together, "We were in bed together. We both enjoyed it so we continued to, you know, see each other."

Gerard was staring at Mikey in horror. "You mean it happened more then once?" He asked, incredulously.

"Hell yeah," Frank replied. "I lost count after the 25th time."

Gerard seemed lost for words and just sank back into his chair. "Oh my God. Oh my God," He kept repeating it like a chant.

"Now you know how it feels to be cheated on," Mikey said, angrily.

"It feels like someone ripped out you're heart and stomped on it, right?" Frank asked him softly.

"I get the feeling there is more to you're story, Mikey. What's the real truth?" Haury wondered aloud.

"About a year ago, I was dating this girl named Sara. We weren't getting along, and I happened to mention it to Gee. The next thing you know, Sara is confessing how Gerard seduced her in the back of his car and that she's sorry she cheated on me," Mikey blurted out in a rush, shaking his fist at his older brother.

"You slept with Sara?" Asked a flabbergasted Frank. "You bitch!"

In reply Gerard simply buried his face in his hands. "You are one sick puppy, Gerard," Haury said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're like some sort of wild, sex machine. You must be stopped!" The audience cheered agreeably. "It looks like we have finally gotten to the bottom of the problem. Gerard has a problem controlling his urges and needs to be treated for his addiction. Fortunately, we have the resources, and people to help him. But the big question is, Frank, will you stand by you're man?"

"If he stops sleeping with everything that moves, I'd be willing to give him another shot," He replied, nodding his head.

"Mikey, will you stop sleeping with Frank?"

"Yes., I would. Gerard loves Frank and I love Gee. I just want him to appreciate what he's got, you know?" Mikey smiled at Gerard, who returned it.

"And Gerard. Will you be willing to go through THOROUGH counselling and EXTENSIVE therapy to help you beat you're addiction?"

"Of course, anything for Frank," Nodded Gerard, to wild cheers from the audience. Frank turned in his seat and they embraced warmly.

"Thank goodness for that! I wish you three all the luck and happiness in the world," Haury hugged them all and sent them on their way. He sincerely hoped he would never see them again.

Thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews. I had a blast writing these one-shots. Now I'm going to get back to working on The Dark Parade.xx