Categories > Original > Drama

Hope

by SarcasticPirate 2 reviews

It was my time. No longer did I feel pain, for no longer could I feel anything except for the excitement that overtook me as I continued to see all those wonderful memories before my eyes.

Category: Drama - Rating: G - Genres: Angst,Drama - Published: 2009-11-06 - Updated: 2011-06-20 - 1017 words - Complete

2Moving
This is something a wrote a short while after my Auntie Karen passed away. I had this peculiar feeling within me that told me I was supposed to write this, and when I did write it, I felt a warming accomplished feeling replace the peculiar one. It is told in her point of view.

Hearing their voices as they spoke amongst themselves, I felt their hope. They loved and cared for me, and with simply knowing that fact, I was going to try my very best to hold on, just for them. Throughout the day, I heard them speaking and reliving memories, and sharing sad thoughts, among other things. Without even having my eyes open, I knew they were crying, for I could feel their sadness and hear their tears fall.

Family I hadn’t spoken to in quite a while were here, too. I felt their presence, heard their voices. Family and friends came and went all day long, and the touch of their body against my own in the form of a hug made me smile inside. It made me amazingly happy knowing that they all came to visit me, even though it would and could be the very last time they saw me alive, even if it was only barely.

Each and every one of them spoke directly to me, knowing I could hear them. I knew my time was coming soon, I could feel it. Somewhere deep inside me, I wished I could share the hope they had, but I couldn’t. When the time comes, one should not fear it, but embrace it, for when it’s time, it’s time, and we cannot change that.

I wanted to be with my loved ones forever, but I knew even in death I could still be with them. My body may be lifeless, but my spirit would be more alive than ever. I would be with them for the rest of their remaining time, even if they didn’t know it.

I listened to their soothing voices, sharing different memories and stories of the past. I felt touched by what they remembered, and cared enough to share amongst themselves. They shared things from my childhood and teenage years, some things that I had not even remembered until they spoke about it.

It was all so wonderfully pleasant, and I knew hearing this and feeling this ever-growing happiness would give me a little more time. I only wanted at least another day. Another day of hearing them all be together without the drama, exchanging memories and joking around, knowing that their hope was all they had.

After a short while, people were saying their final goodbyes for the day, maybe even forever. I was showered in kisses and hugs, it was beautiful. I don’t think I’d ever been more at peace in my life.

They all had each other, and I now knew that they knew that once I passed my spirit would still be with them, in whatever form they wished. Many, many more tears were shed, goodbye’s were said, and hugs, kisses and heart-warming words were exchanged.

The day had ended, the sun had well and truly set, and now only close relatives remained by my side. While they were still here, I couldn’t shake the feeling of hope. I realised that I had to try my hardest to hold on, to carry the day through, even if it were only this day. I was still fascinatingly happy knowing that I still had some time left with them.

Once again, voices of sadness entered the room. I felt my time coming to an end as the hours passed by. Those sad voices were soon to tell me their goodbye’s and captured me in a hug for what was to be the last time.

Almost far too soon, all those close to me that I loved dearly had left the room, even if for only a few minutes, and that’s when I saw it. A flashback of everything I had been through in life. It was as though someone had made a black and white motion picture of my life that only I was allowed to view.

It was my time. No longer did I feel pain, for no longer could I feel anything except for the excitement that overtook me as I continued to see all those wonderful memories before my eyes. As soon as the fkashback began, it finished, and I was faced with a blinding light.

This was the light I assumed that I had to walk towards, in order to reach my place in the afterlife. I did as I thought to do, and went peacefully into the light, only to suddenly be on what I guessed to be a cloud. It was a lone cloud, but that didn’t matter, for as I looked down I could see everybody I loved.

What I saw devastated me. My beautiful sister was in heart-breaking pain. I was surprised that this angered me. I didn’t want her to mourn, I wanted her to celebrate my life. I knew she needed her closure, but little did I know that I could be the one to give her that closure. All of my family; my husband, my children, they all mourned. It wasn’t what I wanted it to be like, I didn’t want my family thinking ‘What if?’.

What if I hadn’t passed on. I’d still be with them. However, thinking on the more realistic side of it all, I would have passed eventually. Everyone has to leave one day, death is not a thing that we can control nor change. It’s our fate, our destiny, it’s how it has to be.

In front of my eyes, the world awoke onto another day, even though to me it had only seemed like minutes. Maybe the world was in fast-forward, or maybe I was in slow motion? Just maybe, for nothing is a definite, but everything is always as it seems.
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