Reviews for breathe :: FicWad: fresh-picked original and fan fiction

Categories > Original > Poetry

breathe

by lilyqueen777 1 review

something we do everyday...but this time something is different for me. please r/r! just try this poem...it might rock your socks off! :] (and yes this is about love, again).

Category: Poetry - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst, Romance - Published: 2006-04-13 - Updated: 2006-04-13 - 21 words - Complete

1Insightful

Reviews

breathe

(#) Rous 2006-06-01

Aside from the need for punctuation, this leaves me...well, wanting more. It has some nice imagery to it, but little substance. "The wind slowly..." yet "the air rushes..." Kind of a contradiction here. There is little flow. And your ending just hangs there. Again, with some work, this could be very nice.

Thank you for sharing.
Author's response
Thanks for the comment and suggestions!

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