FicWad

Chapter 2
He slept on and off the whole day, waking up only to use the restroom or forage in the fridge. I don't know what I did during the time I guess I let the television absorb me in the living room. My eyes were on the zebras and the football players, but my mind was on everything else. I was scared. I might be living here on borrowed time.
After all, this wasn't really "our" house. It was Jay's, inherited from his mother. His mother had been a sweet woman, even though she had never really liked me. Jay had always been her favorite child. She claimed she never had favorites, but it was obvious. Her will gave Beth and Dina money, but it gave Jay the house. I guess that made sense; his sisters were both married. I think she could always tell Jay would never be the guy with the blonde housewife and three kids. Instead, he picked me.
We weren't really in love when he asked me to move in. We were obsessed with each other. I liked everything about him. He had brawns, he had brains. He looked so cute when he laughed. I don't know what he saw in me. I'm really average, about 5'7, with black hair and dark eyes that seem to eat alive all hints of light and joy.
We fought a lot. There were times when we didn't even sleep in the same room. But I knew it was going to last, because as my infatuation faded and I realized Jay had a million and one issues, I didn't mind too much. Our fights were little things, and over little things. And then he cheated.

I turned off the TV about the same time Jay walked into the living room, yawned, and sat next to me on the sofa.
"God, I feel like Rip Van Winkle." He fell back and shook his arms. "So, how were things?"
"Without you?" I pecked his cheek. "Horrible."
He looked around, possibly for the first time since coming back, and laughed deeply. "I can see that. How many parties did you throw?"
"None, I swear. I just...I don‘t know. I missed you." I shrugged. "I was a wreck. How was your sister?"
"Good. She really needed help with Jack. He's starting teething and shit. It was scary, her house almost looked as bad as ours does."
I looked at my hands, which were moving around nervously all on their own. "Did you...tell her?"
"Tell her what?"
"You know."
He exhaled a big breath of exasperation. "Jesus. Stop it."
"I can't. You act like it's nothing! Like nothing happened."
He sucked his lower lip into his mouth. "I never said nothing happened."
"Then can we just talk about?"
Jay said nothing. His eyebrows joined together, and I could see wrinkles of frustration on his forehead. He was staring at the floor, but I don't know if he was looking at anything. His hands tightened into fists, fists that started shaking. He unballed them to grab onto my shoulders, hard. It was hard enough that it hurt, and I winced as he held me against the old leather of the sofa. "Why the fuck do you want to talk about this? Why the fuck can't you just leave it alone? Jesus. I..." His lips halted, but he had more to say. He inhaled, deeply, closing his eyes. The lids raised, revealing purple irises that were almost swollen with the intensity of his internal turmoil. "It's not even your fault. I deserved it."
There was a chance he was saying that just for my benefit, but it was slim.
"No, it wasn't--"
He pressed his face close to mine; I could smell meat on his breath. "Do you remember Isabel?"
Of course I did. The memory overtook me. She had long blonde hair that was pulled back and pinned down. She always had eyeliner on, heavy stuff that made the rest of her face seem small in comparison. And she was always eyeing Jay. Whenever he was outside, she would be too, leaning over the fence with a low-cut shirt and a devilish red smile on her face. When he mowed the lawn, he'd never wear a shirt, and then you should have seen her. Her eyes were almost falling out of the sockets. She never looked at me like that, but I could understand why. Jay was all muscle. I don't think he had an ounce of fat on him. When he was in high school, he planned on joining the army, but he changed his mind pretty quickly when he realized they weren't too fond of homosexual activity. During the summer, I was working a lot at the music store-- I'm the manager, actually-- and so Jay was home. He substitute-taught elementary school, so he had a lot of free time during those months. It wasn't until July that I began to notice a lot of his free time was being spent with Isabel.
"What about her?" I said. I tried to appear as if it didn't bother me. He could see that it did.
"I've messed up so much," Jay stated, looking sadly at me. "You're the best thing I could have ever asked for, and I fuck you over like that?" It was a question, but it didn't have an answer that would answer anything. "Besides," He said, "You're my boyfriend. You can do whatever the hell you want with me."
He enveloped my mouth in his, and it felt like hours might have passed. I slowly detached myself and hovered near his ear canal. My hand held his chin.
"Do you want me to rape you again?"
His right hand sunk into my chest, and I gasped in pain as he stormed away into some inner room, letting out a dark, raging scream. I could almost feel the wall trembling as Jay pounded into it, screaming, screaming, screaming.