Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Lost Music Inside
“There. That’s how you play it.” Desirae handed Shanna a blue string made of yarn and managed to teach her Cat’s Cradle after school since it was a half day due to a teacher’s conference. They were currently back at the spot where Desirae first showed Shanna, who insisted most of their conversations should be held there.
“That’s so neat! How did you learn that?” She piped. Desirae shrugged.
“I taught myself, it was hard at first, but everyone learns differently.”
“Like me!” The girl praised as she wrapped the string around her small hands and wrapped it around creating different shapes.
“Yes like you.” Desirae smiled.
“What else do you know?” Shanna asked not looking up from the activity.
“That’s about it.” Desirae answered honestly. She would consider herself talent less if it wasn’t for her ability to work with words in her poetry. Desirae looked up and saw Shanna frown.
“What’s wrong?”
“I have to go now. I have homework.” she sighed.
“That’s okay, we’ve been here for quite awhile.” Desirae replied looking up at the sky that got darker earlier since the season’s change. The sun was slowly making its way to the mountain where it would soon go to sleep, and the moon would take over for the night. It was only 2:00 at the most, but felt so much later.
The girls got their stuff and nimbly walked down the small hill before reaching the lonely road that stretched both ways and never seemed to stop. Their feet shuffled together as they pointed at deer and rabbits that burrowed in the thick woods nearby. Their cardigans dancing in the soft wind. While they paced with each other towards home, Desirae recounted her day as she always did. Usually the day would be filled with less than exciting events, but today seemed fairly average. She couldn’t tell if it was because Joey and his posse no longer threw paper planes at her fragile back, or Bob’s smile when he was talking with Gerard, or simply looking out the window during class. Whatever it was, it gave off a nice temporary vibe to her scenery. Today would be a good day to some more bottle collecting.
“I can’t wait till it starts raining.” Shanna said simply while half skipping.
“You like rain?”
“Definitely. I love it when the rain creates a soft noises as it feeds the grass and dry dirt. Me and my mama used to measure how much it rained by putting a jar outside and labeling the inches.”
Desirae smiled. “That sounds lovely.” she replied modestly.
“It’s fun, well used to be. Its not as fun when you do it alone. I’ve had to do it since…” she trailed off and Desirae needed no further words to finish the sentence. She gave a small pat on her back.
“Well it rains maybe should could how to do it. I’d like to learn.” Shanna looked up and gave a smile. Her ginger hair reflecting in the sun.
“Of course!” She agreed and the two finished their walk back to Shanna’s house that had been a routine in Desirae’s life. She walked Shanna up the stairs, the paint slightly chipped from daily outings of the family. The house was still in maculate shape.
“Can you come in?” The overly gracious girl bounced on her heels asking the same question every other day. Desirae found it hard to resist most days.
“I could, but I sort of want to take care of some things before it gets dark.”
“Aww. Maybe next time. Bye.” Hers small slender arms embraced Desirae in a hug before opening the door and running inside. Desirae smiled while walking down the steps.
“Going so soon?”
Desirae turned around and shrugged slightly embarrassed as Bob looked at her. He was dressed in different clothes then what he wore at school.
“I was wondering if maybe you could umm… help me with my math.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Desirae smiled inside herself at his actions.
“Well I have to do some work.” She replied softly and his face frowned.
“Oh…”
“But I can just go later.” She spoke up and he relaxed again.
“If you don’t mind…” He asked.
“Not at all.”
He smiled and both of them walked back up the steps and he held the door open for her while walked in. Shanna’s head popped up from the sofa.
“Hey! I thought you said you had to do something?” She asked confused. Desirae shrugged.
“She’s helping me with my homework.” Bob cut in as he shut the door.
“Oh…okay.” She turned around and went back to her homework.
“Wait here, and I’ll go get my work.” He said softly and she nodded.
“Okay.” She replied and he walked off while Shanna’s head popped back up.
“Since when are you helping my brother?” She squeaked.
“Since now.” Desirae mocked playfully.
“Oh…okay.” She repeated before turning back around while Bob walked back out.
“We’ll be in the backyard. Come get me if mom needs something.”
“I know, I know.” Shanna’s replied in monotone, obviously had heard that before. Desirae walked back behind him and into the backyard. He pointed to the same cement wall and Desirae sat down gingerly while he flipped through the pages. She became suddenly nervous sitting there.
“Okay. Here.” He pointed to the problems and Desirae leaned over and nodded.
“All you’re doing is isolating the ‘x’, once you do that it’s pretty much easy.” She took the pencil and did one problem.
“Just subtract from both sides and you get your number. Then divide 2x from 16 and there you go. X = 8.” She circled the answer while he looked at it. He nodded.
“I think I get that. Let me try.” He did the next one and Desirae watched him with approval.
“Like that?”
“Yes. You got it.” She smiled and he did the same.
“Well its a lot easier than I thought it would be.”
“Yes, but it does get a little tricky as it goes. Like this one.” She wrote out the problem and worked through it as if it was a simple addition problem.
“Just remember to do the opposite of the problem, so if it’s addition you subtract from both sides, and if it’s subtraction you add to both sides.” He nodded and let her go on.
“Now for this one, it’s the same thing just has another variable. See?”
“Yeah I get it.” He nodded once more and from then on he could do most of the work, Desirae reminding him to do the opposite sign, he was doing well. She tried not stare at him while he worked. When he looked up she quickly turned her head while he looked back down.
“What about these ones?”
“Oh those are ‘cannot be found’. The ‘x’ can’t be squared.”
“I see.” He nodded and continued on through the problems. He finished faster than he thought he would, but the next lesson he knew would be harder. That’s how it always seemed to go, just when you get a hold of something, you’re forced to the next. He sat the book and stretched out his cramped hand.
“Well I’m sure my math teacher will be pleased I actually turned something in.” He scoffed.
“You did good. It just takes practice.”
“A lot of practice.” He mumbled.
“Well a lot of people don’t always get math, what’s your favorite subject?” She asked.
“Mu-”
“Besides Music.” She smiled. His eyes dropped in bitterness.
“I guess it would be History.”
“Hmm.” She nodded in approval.
“What?”
“I didn’t know you liked History.”
“Well I do.”
“See? History might be easy to you, but could be hard for someone else just like math. Everyone has a preference.”
“I suppose.” He mumbled again. The two of them sat on the wall not talking.
“So umm thanks for helping me.” He spoke and Desirae looked up from the ground.
“It was no problem.” She replied. She rather enjoyed it, since it was just the two of them again, no interruptions. If Desirae were to guess, she would say at least an hour had passed by. She was thankful the sun had offered some warmth before it faded behind the horizon and the moon would appear with a breeze that would shake the trees softly while occasionally giving her goose bumps.
“You teach pretty well.” Bob smiled modestly.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you.” She replied not knowing if he was serious or if it was just to talk her up. She returned to her favorite position; her head hung back down.
“Oh by the way your umm friend, Alyssa?”
“Lisa.” She smiled.
“Right. Lisa, she’s kind of taking over Frank.”
“What do you mean?” He shrugged as if it was nothing.
“Every time I talk to him, he’s always losing focus, like he daydreams all day, it’s pretty funny... I’m guessing it has something to do with Lisa, since they stare at one another in class.”
“I’ve noticed. Lisa won’t admit it.”
“Frank won’t either.”
“Who knows with those two.”
“Yeah…maybe one day they’ll just come out with it.”
“Yup.” She agreed while their eyes locked, blushing as they did so. She studied his body language and how his hands were fidgeting.
“Desirae can I ask if you-”
“Bob!” Desirae’s sighed softly with Shanna’s interruption.
“What?” He turned around.
“Mom needs her medicine and I can’t reach it.”
Bob turned back to Desirae with a soft smile.
“I’m sorry.”
Desirae shook her head.
“It’s fine. I should probably go anyways. Before my father gets home.” She replied sadly, while cleverly disguising the tone. Bob nodded before dusting his pants off and his broad posture stood up straight with his gorgeous eyes reflecting off of the sun. He gestured for Desirae to walk ahead of him in a gentleman manner, which Desirae softly beamed at. Shanna had gone back inside, while they reached the front door, the question that Bob was going to ask still lingering in her mind as she made guesses of what it could’ve been. Her answers, were just silly and false to her prospective.
She watched Bob walk to the kitchen cupboard, his strong arms reaching up without any difficulties and his large hand grabbing the small brown container, and leave to the hallway and into his mother’s room. She could hear hushed words. Bob walked out to Desirae who twiddled her thumbs.
“Well I have to go. But when you need some more help just come to me.” She told him in her same usual soft tone. He smiled and nodded.
“I will.” He replied and she gave a small wave and giving Shanna’s hair a soft tousle as she was on her way out. Her subconscious waved at Rosalina who she now realized was not there. She shrugged it off and headed towards the community park which wasn’t far from her school. She was down the steps when the door opened and Bob came calling her name. She turned around with no hesitation.
“Yes?” He met her down the steps and looked directly at her.
“I just wanted to say thank you again.”
“I told you it wasn’t a problem.” she replied with real easiness. Their eyes met again, something about the way her green eyes clashed with his in an astonishing way. It was like emeralds colliding with sapphires. Her thick eyelashes finally blinked and Bob blushed unaware of the stare down.
“I’ll see you at school.” She laughed nervously and he nodded.
“I’ll be there.”
“Bye.” She whispered and turned back around to her original destination, feeling his eyes still on her as she walked further away…
___
Desirae huffed as she balanced the bottles in her hands, she had been surprisingly lucky to find more than 6 bottles scattered around the green grass, her goal was at least 10 bottles. No one ever visited the park, except for the occasional senior citizens who took a walk or sat on a bench for peace and quiet. A few stray dogs would sleep under the trees sometimes, but to have more than two people together, was rather rare.
She searched for other bottles, but eventually giving up on finding two more, she collected all 8 bottles and walked around the corner to where she handed in her bottles. The lady at the stand reached for them before distributing the bottles in to their designated spots and counting in her head before handing Desirae the cash for her exchange. Desirae graciously took the money and put it neatly in her sweater’s pocket and walking off again back home.
Her feet paced along the corner of the entrance to the park. Two voices caught her attention and one was vaguely familiar. Being the curious one, she sneaked through the alley and peeked her head around the corner of the building, her smile returning at the sight.
“One day I promise you we’ll be able to get our own place and you’ll be my wife.” The man said in a hushed tone. The girl frowned and embraced her loved one.
“Oh Sam you know that’s all I ever wanted. I just wish everyone would let us live in peace.” She whispered.
“No matter what they say, I’ll always be here. Color shouldn’t matter. I was born here and I’ll die here like I rightfully deserve.” He bellowed softly. His tan skin tightened.
“I hate meeting like this. I can get us both in trouble.” She frowned again.
“I know but it’s the only way I get to see you.” He smiled.
“Just be careful. Promise me.” She urged and he kissed her forehead.
“I promise you Rosalina. They’ll never take me down.”
Desirae stepped back and let the couple be. Her eyes wide and her hands twisting the material to the sweater. Her mind rushing at once to process what she had just seen. Her curiosity always getting the best of her…
“That’s so neat! How did you learn that?” She piped. Desirae shrugged.
“I taught myself, it was hard at first, but everyone learns differently.”
“Like me!” The girl praised as she wrapped the string around her small hands and wrapped it around creating different shapes.
“Yes like you.” Desirae smiled.
“What else do you know?” Shanna asked not looking up from the activity.
“That’s about it.” Desirae answered honestly. She would consider herself talent less if it wasn’t for her ability to work with words in her poetry. Desirae looked up and saw Shanna frown.
“What’s wrong?”
“I have to go now. I have homework.” she sighed.
“That’s okay, we’ve been here for quite awhile.” Desirae replied looking up at the sky that got darker earlier since the season’s change. The sun was slowly making its way to the mountain where it would soon go to sleep, and the moon would take over for the night. It was only 2:00 at the most, but felt so much later.
The girls got their stuff and nimbly walked down the small hill before reaching the lonely road that stretched both ways and never seemed to stop. Their feet shuffled together as they pointed at deer and rabbits that burrowed in the thick woods nearby. Their cardigans dancing in the soft wind. While they paced with each other towards home, Desirae recounted her day as she always did. Usually the day would be filled with less than exciting events, but today seemed fairly average. She couldn’t tell if it was because Joey and his posse no longer threw paper planes at her fragile back, or Bob’s smile when he was talking with Gerard, or simply looking out the window during class. Whatever it was, it gave off a nice temporary vibe to her scenery. Today would be a good day to some more bottle collecting.
“I can’t wait till it starts raining.” Shanna said simply while half skipping.
“You like rain?”
“Definitely. I love it when the rain creates a soft noises as it feeds the grass and dry dirt. Me and my mama used to measure how much it rained by putting a jar outside and labeling the inches.”
Desirae smiled. “That sounds lovely.” she replied modestly.
“It’s fun, well used to be. Its not as fun when you do it alone. I’ve had to do it since…” she trailed off and Desirae needed no further words to finish the sentence. She gave a small pat on her back.
“Well it rains maybe should could how to do it. I’d like to learn.” Shanna looked up and gave a smile. Her ginger hair reflecting in the sun.
“Of course!” She agreed and the two finished their walk back to Shanna’s house that had been a routine in Desirae’s life. She walked Shanna up the stairs, the paint slightly chipped from daily outings of the family. The house was still in maculate shape.
“Can you come in?” The overly gracious girl bounced on her heels asking the same question every other day. Desirae found it hard to resist most days.
“I could, but I sort of want to take care of some things before it gets dark.”
“Aww. Maybe next time. Bye.” Hers small slender arms embraced Desirae in a hug before opening the door and running inside. Desirae smiled while walking down the steps.
“Going so soon?”
Desirae turned around and shrugged slightly embarrassed as Bob looked at her. He was dressed in different clothes then what he wore at school.
“I was wondering if maybe you could umm… help me with my math.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Desirae smiled inside herself at his actions.
“Well I have to do some work.” She replied softly and his face frowned.
“Oh…”
“But I can just go later.” She spoke up and he relaxed again.
“If you don’t mind…” He asked.
“Not at all.”
He smiled and both of them walked back up the steps and he held the door open for her while walked in. Shanna’s head popped up from the sofa.
“Hey! I thought you said you had to do something?” She asked confused. Desirae shrugged.
“She’s helping me with my homework.” Bob cut in as he shut the door.
“Oh…okay.” She turned around and went back to her homework.
“Wait here, and I’ll go get my work.” He said softly and she nodded.
“Okay.” She replied and he walked off while Shanna’s head popped back up.
“Since when are you helping my brother?” She squeaked.
“Since now.” Desirae mocked playfully.
“Oh…okay.” She repeated before turning back around while Bob walked back out.
“We’ll be in the backyard. Come get me if mom needs something.”
“I know, I know.” Shanna’s replied in monotone, obviously had heard that before. Desirae walked back behind him and into the backyard. He pointed to the same cement wall and Desirae sat down gingerly while he flipped through the pages. She became suddenly nervous sitting there.
“Okay. Here.” He pointed to the problems and Desirae leaned over and nodded.
“All you’re doing is isolating the ‘x’, once you do that it’s pretty much easy.” She took the pencil and did one problem.
“Just subtract from both sides and you get your number. Then divide 2x from 16 and there you go. X = 8.” She circled the answer while he looked at it. He nodded.
“I think I get that. Let me try.” He did the next one and Desirae watched him with approval.
“Like that?”
“Yes. You got it.” She smiled and he did the same.
“Well its a lot easier than I thought it would be.”
“Yes, but it does get a little tricky as it goes. Like this one.” She wrote out the problem and worked through it as if it was a simple addition problem.
“Just remember to do the opposite of the problem, so if it’s addition you subtract from both sides, and if it’s subtraction you add to both sides.” He nodded and let her go on.
“Now for this one, it’s the same thing just has another variable. See?”
“Yeah I get it.” He nodded once more and from then on he could do most of the work, Desirae reminding him to do the opposite sign, he was doing well. She tried not stare at him while he worked. When he looked up she quickly turned her head while he looked back down.
“What about these ones?”
“Oh those are ‘cannot be found’. The ‘x’ can’t be squared.”
“I see.” He nodded and continued on through the problems. He finished faster than he thought he would, but the next lesson he knew would be harder. That’s how it always seemed to go, just when you get a hold of something, you’re forced to the next. He sat the book and stretched out his cramped hand.
“Well I’m sure my math teacher will be pleased I actually turned something in.” He scoffed.
“You did good. It just takes practice.”
“A lot of practice.” He mumbled.
“Well a lot of people don’t always get math, what’s your favorite subject?” She asked.
“Mu-”
“Besides Music.” She smiled. His eyes dropped in bitterness.
“I guess it would be History.”
“Hmm.” She nodded in approval.
“What?”
“I didn’t know you liked History.”
“Well I do.”
“See? History might be easy to you, but could be hard for someone else just like math. Everyone has a preference.”
“I suppose.” He mumbled again. The two of them sat on the wall not talking.
“So umm thanks for helping me.” He spoke and Desirae looked up from the ground.
“It was no problem.” She replied. She rather enjoyed it, since it was just the two of them again, no interruptions. If Desirae were to guess, she would say at least an hour had passed by. She was thankful the sun had offered some warmth before it faded behind the horizon and the moon would appear with a breeze that would shake the trees softly while occasionally giving her goose bumps.
“You teach pretty well.” Bob smiled modestly.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you.” She replied not knowing if he was serious or if it was just to talk her up. She returned to her favorite position; her head hung back down.
“Oh by the way your umm friend, Alyssa?”
“Lisa.” She smiled.
“Right. Lisa, she’s kind of taking over Frank.”
“What do you mean?” He shrugged as if it was nothing.
“Every time I talk to him, he’s always losing focus, like he daydreams all day, it’s pretty funny... I’m guessing it has something to do with Lisa, since they stare at one another in class.”
“I’ve noticed. Lisa won’t admit it.”
“Frank won’t either.”
“Who knows with those two.”
“Yeah…maybe one day they’ll just come out with it.”
“Yup.” She agreed while their eyes locked, blushing as they did so. She studied his body language and how his hands were fidgeting.
“Desirae can I ask if you-”
“Bob!” Desirae’s sighed softly with Shanna’s interruption.
“What?” He turned around.
“Mom needs her medicine and I can’t reach it.”
Bob turned back to Desirae with a soft smile.
“I’m sorry.”
Desirae shook her head.
“It’s fine. I should probably go anyways. Before my father gets home.” She replied sadly, while cleverly disguising the tone. Bob nodded before dusting his pants off and his broad posture stood up straight with his gorgeous eyes reflecting off of the sun. He gestured for Desirae to walk ahead of him in a gentleman manner, which Desirae softly beamed at. Shanna had gone back inside, while they reached the front door, the question that Bob was going to ask still lingering in her mind as she made guesses of what it could’ve been. Her answers, were just silly and false to her prospective.
She watched Bob walk to the kitchen cupboard, his strong arms reaching up without any difficulties and his large hand grabbing the small brown container, and leave to the hallway and into his mother’s room. She could hear hushed words. Bob walked out to Desirae who twiddled her thumbs.
“Well I have to go. But when you need some more help just come to me.” She told him in her same usual soft tone. He smiled and nodded.
“I will.” He replied and she gave a small wave and giving Shanna’s hair a soft tousle as she was on her way out. Her subconscious waved at Rosalina who she now realized was not there. She shrugged it off and headed towards the community park which wasn’t far from her school. She was down the steps when the door opened and Bob came calling her name. She turned around with no hesitation.
“Yes?” He met her down the steps and looked directly at her.
“I just wanted to say thank you again.”
“I told you it wasn’t a problem.” she replied with real easiness. Their eyes met again, something about the way her green eyes clashed with his in an astonishing way. It was like emeralds colliding with sapphires. Her thick eyelashes finally blinked and Bob blushed unaware of the stare down.
“I’ll see you at school.” She laughed nervously and he nodded.
“I’ll be there.”
“Bye.” She whispered and turned back around to her original destination, feeling his eyes still on her as she walked further away…
___
Desirae huffed as she balanced the bottles in her hands, she had been surprisingly lucky to find more than 6 bottles scattered around the green grass, her goal was at least 10 bottles. No one ever visited the park, except for the occasional senior citizens who took a walk or sat on a bench for peace and quiet. A few stray dogs would sleep under the trees sometimes, but to have more than two people together, was rather rare.
She searched for other bottles, but eventually giving up on finding two more, she collected all 8 bottles and walked around the corner to where she handed in her bottles. The lady at the stand reached for them before distributing the bottles in to their designated spots and counting in her head before handing Desirae the cash for her exchange. Desirae graciously took the money and put it neatly in her sweater’s pocket and walking off again back home.
Her feet paced along the corner of the entrance to the park. Two voices caught her attention and one was vaguely familiar. Being the curious one, she sneaked through the alley and peeked her head around the corner of the building, her smile returning at the sight.
“One day I promise you we’ll be able to get our own place and you’ll be my wife.” The man said in a hushed tone. The girl frowned and embraced her loved one.
“Oh Sam you know that’s all I ever wanted. I just wish everyone would let us live in peace.” She whispered.
“No matter what they say, I’ll always be here. Color shouldn’t matter. I was born here and I’ll die here like I rightfully deserve.” He bellowed softly. His tan skin tightened.
“I hate meeting like this. I can get us both in trouble.” She frowned again.
“I know but it’s the only way I get to see you.” He smiled.
“Just be careful. Promise me.” She urged and he kissed her forehead.
“I promise you Rosalina. They’ll never take me down.”
Desirae stepped back and let the couple be. Her eyes wide and her hands twisting the material to the sweater. Her mind rushing at once to process what she had just seen. Her curiosity always getting the best of her…
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