FicWad

This is a one-shot. I read the book "American Psycho" recently and thought "Why not?" But it's based very loosely on the movie (Christian Bale is utterly crazy in it!) because the book was WAY to sick to parody for me.

Oh yeah, I own NOTHING. This stuff is all made up.

My name is Gerard way, I am 26 years old. By day I work at "Bryar and Toro", a major financial company situated on Wall Street, by night I kill people. Yeah that's right, kill people. And for no good reason. I do it because I can get away with it. After all, who is going to suspect a man as attractive and as wealthy as I am to do something so evil?

Anyway, right now I am sitting in a cab with my girlfriend Reese, who is twittering away about wedding gowns. For some reason she thinks we are going to get married. It actually might be my fault a little because I think I proposed to her while we were watching "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", but I only did it so she would shut the hell up. It doesn't matter as I am planning on killing her, it could be today, or maybe tomorrow as I have plans to meet my friends for dinner tonight.

Reese is a traditional blue eyed, blond haired American beauty. She is slim, toned and always well dressed. The only problem is that I am not attracted to her. In fact, I am not attracted to any woman at all, if you understand what I am trying to say. But I cannot reveal the real me to anyone as it completely unacceptable in my circle of friends and I want to fit in. Reese and I don't even sleep together. She is having an affair with my childhood friend Mikey Way, who I am going to kill soon. Maybe.

The cab reaches my office building and we get out, I pay the driver but I don't tip him. Reese stands on her tiptoes to kiss me and I grimace. She ignores the look on my face and kisses me softly on my lips. I push her away kind of roughly but she doesn't notice as she has spotted her friend Bethany across the street and is rushing away to grab her, no doubt to gossip and chat about the wedding that will never take place.

A filthy homeless man, who smells terribly like alcohol, approaches me tentatively and asks, no begs me for some change. I tell him if he doesn't get away from me now I will slit his throat. He gives me a frightened look and scampers off, tottering drunkenly on the sidewalk in his desperation to get away.

I watch his retreating back disappear up the street. I wonder if I should follow him and finish him off like I'd threatened but decide against it as I'm wearing a brand new light grey Armarni suit and don't like the thought of getting blood stains on it as they are impossible to get out.

I walk up the stairs to my office building suddenly in a rush, as I think I may be late for some meeting. The doorman greets me warmly but I ignore him. He still gives me a smile, though it looks forced to me but I don't care. He doesn't matter to me. As a matter of fact, no-one matters to me. I just may go on a giant killing spree today, who knows?

My fellow colleagues rush around like headless chickens scuttling to the left and right of me to meet deadlines. Make more money, that's all that matters in this place. Some of them call hello to me, but they don't meet my eyes as they are too caught up in their own business. I wonder if anyone would even notice if I pulled out the knife I carry around with me in my pocket and stabbed a couple of people. I seriously doubt it.

I walk into my office which is as lifeless as I am, followed closely by my secretary Frank who is in love with me. He is reminding me of a meeting I have to attend but I am barely listening to him. I take my seat and lean back in my chair to stare at him.

Frank Iero is a very attractive man. He is about 23 years old but seems much younger then that. He is slim, with jet black hair and hazel eyes. He always dresses to impress me even though I never compliment him. Today is no exception, he is wearing navy tonic trousers, a white self stripe premium shirt and a black tie. He looks great as always but I don't tell him that. He gesticulates with his hands as he talks, I watch him, mesmerized, then I give my head a slight shake and try to focus.

"Is that okay?" He asks me, meeting my eyes briefly.

"Of course," I smile at him, even though I haven't heard a word he's said, and he blushes.

"Is that all?" He asks me, timidly.

"For now," I reply suggestively.

He leaves my office, closing the door softly behind him and my smile vanishes. I lean back further in my chair to stare at the ceiling. I am bored. Truthfully I don't do much work here. Ever. I only come in because all my friends have jobs, and I want to fit in.

After about half an hour of doing absolutely nothing, I pull open my drawer and take out the gun I keep in there. It is a Smith and Wesson 9mm semi-automatic. There is no real reason to keep it here-I just do. There is a faint knock at my door and I shove it hastily back inside.

"Come in," I say.

Frank enters my office and hands me a file. I take it from him, making sure our hands brush lightly as I do. He blushes furiously and looks at the floor. I open the file and smirk slightly. I cannot believe the power I have over him.

"Is that all you wanted to give me, Frank?" I ask him.

"Yes," He stutters.

"Well, if you don't mind then, I have a lot of work to do," I wave my hand in the air in a dismissive gesture.

He nods his head obediently and leaves again. As soon as the door closes, I toss the file onto the desk and pick up my phone to call a friend of mine. We discuss our plans for tonight, after much deliberation we decide to have dinner in the most expensive restaurant in the city. Just for the hell of it. I hang up and doodle aimlessly on a note pad. It is not long before I am drawing graphic pictures of some of my past victims. I can't help it, I have always been an excellent artist. I sit back and admire my handiwork, it is of a young woman I recently mutilated quite cruelly. I whistle as I take a red pen to represent the blood seeping from her stomach.

After I've finished I fold it neatly and file it away in my bottom drawer where a whole collection of other similar portraits sit innocently, though the content would alarm anyone who saw them. Of course that person would have to be taken care of. I can't have my little secret being exposed to the world can I?

It is soon time for lunch, I get up and head out as fast as I can without even saying goodbye to Frank. He doesn't look bothered, he must be used to being treated like garbage. I whistle as I leave the office. Once outside I catch a cab and am on my way to meet my friends. Well, they're not really my friends, I don't actually care for them but I like being seen with them as they are all wealthy and attractive. Like me.

Once we are seated at the best table in the restaurant, they start to talk about some girl who has run off with some guy. I stifle a yawn. Gossip is so unappealing to me. The thought of taking someone's life however, that is a different story. I peer around the crowded room, trying to spot a potential victim.

My eyes fall on a tall, slender brunette wearing a tight black dress hanging by the bar. She looks like she is alone. I scrutinize her carefully, she is so thin I could probably snap her in half if I wanted. She is also wearing incredibly high heels, if she should want to escape it would be next to impossible as she wouldn't get very far. I see her sigh in a bored manner and am on my feet in one swift motion. I walk away from my table without looking back. None of my so-called friends notice my absence.

I smooth my hair down as I approach her even though it is as immaculate as always. I take the seat next to her and order a drink, ignoring her for now. As I wait for my order, I inspect my Rolex impatiently and sigh, giving her the impression I am waiting on someone. It works.

"Is she late?" The soon-to-be dead girl asks me coyly.

I turn in my seat to smile at her. Past victims have informed me (before being brutally killed, of course), that my smile is very disarming. It does the trick as she visibly melts in front of me, I catch the familiar look of desire flash in her beautiful brown eyes. Eyes I might just gauge out later.

"Actually I'm waiting for a business associate," I say, taking a sip of my drink. I can see her trying not to look relieved. "What about you?" I ask casually.

"Oh. I'm just taking a break from work," She shrugs.

I have to restrain myself from laughing out loud. Girls like her don't work, they either shop or sleep around. But I go along with her story.

"Me too," I inform her.

"What can we do to kill time, I wonder?" She asks me flirtatiously.

The look of lust on her face disgusts me but I hide it well. "What do you have in mind?" I ask with a smirk.

"If you want, we could go back to my place," Her face is inches from mine, I fight the urge to smash my glass in it.

"Why don't we go to my place? It's very close," I stroke her cheek softly and she is mine.

I cannot believe this is so easy. We get up and leave the restaurant. None of my friends look my way as we walk past them. I catch a cab and we are on our way. Once inside the cab, the whore cannot keep her hands off me. She pulls me towards her desperately and kisses me. I kiss her back roughly, all the while thinking what I am going to do to her once we get to my apartment, though it won't be what she has in mind.

The cab slows to a stop outside the lavish building I call home and she pulls me out. I lead her inside and soon we are standing in my apartment. She lets go of my hand and looks around in wonder. I don't blame her, my apartment was designed by the best interior designer in New York. I spared no expense when I bought this place. The theme is white and black, quite simple really. There is a 8 foot long white couch in the room we are currently standing in, on the white rug that adorns the pine colored floorboards sits a black coffee table I had imported from Italy. My 50 inch Plasma T.V hangs on the wall alongside some very expensive paintings I recently bought. There is also a silver telescope next to the ceiling to floor windows, she walks over to it and peers through the lens. The only time I use it is when I spy on my neighbors.

I walk up to her and put my arms around her waist, she giggles and turns her head to kiss me again. I guide her towards the couch and gently push her onto it. I stand over her and stroke her hair, she on the other hand tries to unbuckle my belt. I push her hands away and back off a little. A look of confusion crosses her face. I ask her if she wants a drink, she relaxes and nods her head.

The kitchen is to the right of the living room, I open a large cupboard and peer inside. Instead of food, I have an assortment of tools, including a chainsaw, a bloody axe, a large nail gun and a brand new drill that I have yet to test out. There is also an extensive collection of knives that I am very proud of. I'm spoilt for choice really.

"What's taking so long?" I hear her call impatiently.

It suddenly hits me that I don't know her name. Maybe I do but have just forgotten or it could be that I simply don't care. What does it matter? She'll be dead soon. "Be right there, sugar," I reply. I grab the nail gun and re-enter the living room with it hidden behind my back. I come to stand behind the couch with an excellent view of her head.

"Where's my drink?" She asks me, looking at her perfectly manicured nails.

"Forget the drink," I say, pointing it at her. I want her to turn around so I can see the fear and surprise in her eyes before I kill her.

But she doesn't and I feel a growing sense of frustration building in my gut. What is wrong with this whore? Why won't she just turn around so I can finish her off? I need to get back to work soon.

"What are you doing back there?" She wonders.

I hold my breath as she turns her head slowly. I grip the nail gun tighter and prepare to shoot but before I can do anything my phone starts to ring. It gets both our attention and I let the gun fall to my side with disappointment welling inside of me.

"Aren't you going to get that?" She asks, looking at her nails again.

I sigh and put the gun on the floor and kick it underneath the couch so it is hidden from view. I snatch the phone up and growl hello. It is Frank, he tells me I am late for a meeting and that some people are expecting me. Blah blah blah. I tell him I will be there shortly. I put the phone down and look at the girl. She smiles at me and get up from the couch.

"I guess you're needed elsewhere," She says sadly.

I simply nod my head. I am devastated I didn't get to take her life. Then a thought occurs to me. "Maybe we could have dinner sometime?" I suggest.

Her eyes light up. "Sure. How about tomorrow evening?" She offers as she walks towards the door.

"That would be....wonderful," I smile at her as she saunters off. She stops at the elevator and blows a kiss in my direction. I wave at her with a new found hope in my heart. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a very good day. For me.

Rate and Review? Or I might just have to set this dude on ya!xx