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Dear Asami,


Last email first:

Ha. Ha. Ha. If anyone is Job, it's me. You're close enough to Satan that I've checked you for a tail and horns many times. And you just thought I liked staring at your ass.

Hmm, so you're on the outs with your family? You never talked about them. Are any still alive? Are they yakuza too? What was your life like growing up? You don't seem traditional at all. I mean, your apartment is all western. You never use honorifics with anyone. I'd almost think you hadn't been born in Japan and grew up as a foreigner.

No, I don't want you to take me on vacation! I don't even want to think about what the price for that would be. And leave my father out of it! And no I don't like criminals, you're all just good news stories! That takes care of all of your questions.

OK, first email last:

You know, that email has been on my mind a lot. I thought about it all the time I was down south. Some of it made sense, like being happy while you can, and not wanting to miss chances, and how your power helps you get that. You made some good points. Being in all those tombs surrounded by death brought that home.

But I don't get the part about power and me.

What did you mean I have power? You're probably laughing your ass off because you're driving me crazy with riddles, but just lay off and tell me. Because I don't see it. Sure, I have power over my own life, but I don't think that's what you mean, is it? I mean, everyone has that power. It's when you start to have it over other people that your power stock goes up.

Wait a minute...

You think I have power over people? Are you nuts? Who? I guess I have limited power over the people I've hired. Maybe a little bit over my friends. Not much at all over my father. Who else is there?

I don't get you. Give me a break here. This is driving me crazy.

And as for "running away" as you put it, I didn't. I walked out. I wasn't scared of anything, except maybe being stuck with you in that same situation for the rest of my life, and with things as they were that would have been terrible.

There was one thing you said in your last email...

>>And I've found, recently, that there are pieces of cheese that even I will press the lever for. What do you think those might be, Akihito?

I don’t know what that might be, Asami. Don't you ever get tired of playing games? I'm just not sure what to make of that. I hope you don't mean what comes to mind. I'm sorry to have to bring this up again, but you and me, well... unless things change a lot, it can never happen again. You've realized that, haven't you? I don't want to go through that a second time. I'm more than willing to be friends. In fact I'd love to be, but I won't go back to the way it was. I'm sorry.

I'd better end here. I'll tell you about Luxor some other time.

I just think we should be honest with each other.


Akihito


--


Dear Akihito,


So, you want to be friends. Fuck you Akihito. That's not good enough for me.

What makes you think I want you back, if you're going to act just like you did before?

You walked out, but did you ever stop to think that maybe I was dissatisfied too? That maybe I was tired of all the mind games you played with yourself and me, to convince yourself it was OK to stay in the first place? That I only played along to keep you from running the way you always did?

You arrogant little prick, assuming it's all up to me, that I am the only problem. Assuming I'll watch from the sidelines and be a supportive friend while you look for someone else to fill that hole at your side.

God I'd love to fly out to Cairo and lock you up in some seraglio, and chain you to a wall, until you learned that you were meant for me and only me, that you were made for my pleasure. I'd fuck you into the tiles until your whole world was my cock, until the only words you knew were Asami and Please.

But that would be predictable.

I won't be predictable ever again.

And it wouldn't be enough. This time I want it all, Akihito.

You'll wear chains, but they'll be chains you put on yourself. Emotional ties that you'll never break. I'm no fool. I know I'll wear them too. I'm already feeling their weight. But it will be worth it, seeing you bound to my side for the rest of your life. Knowing that you will never, ever, tear a piece out of me the way you did last September when you walked out of my office. Not out of my life, never that. But just out of easy reach.

You're mine Akihito. We'll be friends, don't worry about that. But baby, that will be the least of what we are to each other.


Love,

Asami




He sat, staring at what he had written. His hands were no longer shaking. The fury subsided. He was under control.

His finger moved the pointer so it hovered over the X in the upper right corner of the window. He clicked.

This message has not been sent. Do you want to send, save or delete the message?

He hesitated, then clicked again.

Delete

The message vanished from the screen.

He rubbed his temples. Maybe he should wait a day or two. He'd known this would come up. He just hadn't expected it to break his control this way.

What would be the best way to handle it? To agree to just be friends? That would be a lie, and he would never lie to Akihito. To refuse? That would chase Akihito away, make him less open, maybe even stop him from replying.

To ignore it? No, he ignored things for 6 years in his arrogance, and look what it got him. And now, there was so much more at stake.

He took a deep breath, then began typing again.


--


Dear Akihito,


How can you be honest with me, when you can't be honest with yourself? The truth is often uncomfortable. I've been finding that out too. But only a coward turns from it. You've never struck me as a coward. I'd like to speak honestly with you someday, about these things, but it seems to me that you're not ready to face some hard truths yet. But on that day I'll come to you naked, if you do the same.

I look forward to hearing about your visits to the southern monuments.


Yours,

Asami


--


Dear Asami,


I feel like I don't know you anymore. Maybe I never did. I feel like I don't know myself very well either.

I need to think about things for a little while. I'll be back in a few weeks.

Take care of yourself.


Akihito


--


That was the last Asami heard from him for some time.