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"How the hell did you use up a gallon of vaseline anyway?"

Akihito began giggling underneath him on the bed. Asami stared down at him . A fine time to be laughing. Yet he couldn't get angry, not seeing Akihito free and happy like this.

"What's so funny? What were you using it for?"

Akihito was looking at him out of the corners of his eyes, laughing outright now, holding his sides. "That must have bugged you for weeks! Did you think I was having orgies in Africa?"

The thought had crossed his mind. "Not at all." Akihito laughed more, knowingly. "Well, maybe one or two orgies. I can't for the life of me figure out why you'd need that much."

Akihito's eyes twinkled. "It was a birthday present."

"A present."

"Yup. For twins."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"That they each weighed about 400 pounds."

"Akihito..." His voice promised retribution if he didn't get the story soon.

Akihito gave in.

"We were with the game warden in Botswana when we came across a female hippo trying to give birth. She was having problems, and the warden was determined to help her. They're not endangered but they're also not as plentiful as they should be. I'm not going into what it took to subdue her. We had to use every available piece of equipment and all our ropes and bunjee cords to hold her down. Plus we had to keep her in the water. Gods what a nightmare that was. Well the warden, who was also a vet, had asked us to have our man, who had driven into a nearby village, bring back some things he needed, so I called him. A non-water soluble lubricant was on the list. He brought back the vaseline."

"He had your credit card?"

"I'd given him a traveler's check through the credit card company."

"So what happened with the hippo?"

"She was pregnant, with twins, and they were stuck. We, and I do mean all of us, managed to slick things up and turn them and get them out. They hurt of couple of us. For babies, they were very strong and fast. The mother was worse. The sad thing is, probably only one will live. But at least we saved that one."

"So you used a gallon of lube on baby hippos."

"That pretty much sums it up."

Asami covered his eyes with one hand, massaging his temples. "Akihito, you are truly one of a kind."

"Thank you."

"And now I'm going to show you the right way to use up a gallon of vaseline."

"Hey wait a minute..."

"Let's role play. I'm the warden and you're the hippo."

"Hold on there!"

"Didn't you say you needed lots of ropes? That must have been kinkier than I thought."

"Asami, you pervert!"



Some things never change.