Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The End Is Only The Beginning
I gave Ray directions to Jay’s shitty basement apartment. We pull up in front and I go to jump out and Ray grabs my arm and stops me.
"Elle dont do anything stupid now." He says looking in my eyes. What me do something stupid? As if. I nodded repeatedly at him. Ray just looked at me. Wait nodding is agreeing right? Am I agreeing to do something stupid? Oh fuck. No I dont want to nod..Shit.. I start shaking my head no.
"I wont" I say and Ray sighed and took the keys out of the ignition. I got out of the car and leant my head back in the open door. "Wait how do know if its stupid?" I ask.
"Fuck." he said under his breath and opened his door too.
"Aw Ray you dont have come with me." I said cheerfully. I can do this. I can so fucking do this.
"Uh no I have to." Ray said sighing again. "Listen" he said "If you’re not sure what to do just look at me okay?"
"Ok." I said grabbing his arm. "Lets go." I reached up to ring the bell and Ray stopped me.
"I’ll ring it." He said firmly. He rang the bell... once.
We waited. I started bouncing again. Ray scratched his afro, then gave me one of those what the fuck am I doing here with you looks. Finally Jay opens the door. He is so fucking stoned. His place reeks of pot. There are fucking clouds of smoke hanging around the room.
"Hey." He says really slowly. He looks like hes been smoking all day. His eyes are halfway shut. He takes a step to the side as we walk in.
"Hey Jay-you remember Ray-hay jay and ray they all have A s- isn’t that funny we were just talking about that before- you know I’ve always liked the letter A -all words should have an A in it, it should be like a law or something even chipmunks is spelt with an A -wait they dont have an A except for Alvin and the chipmunks- he had an A- on his shirt -remember?" I babble to Jay. He looked at me and blinked his eyes.
"Uh hey." He repeats. Ray looked at him then at me. Oh yeah...why I am babbling about chipmunks-I’m here for the guitar. Focus Elle.
"Okay so I wanted to talk to you-“ I started to say to Jay.
"Whoa Elle " He says waving his hand at me to stop talking. As he swings his hand back he became mesmerized by it. Hes staring at his hand. I’m tapping my foot incessantly watching him stare at his hand. He wiggles his fingers as he moves it slowly. Still fucking mesmerized. Fuck. This is not gonna work. I’m on like fucking fast-forward and hes in slow motion. I look at Ray. Hes scratching his afro again. What happened to if you need help look at me?
"Jay?" I ask. He looks at me.
"Uh yeah Elle...you need to slow the fuck down hun.." He said his voice trailing off "Uh why dont you go take a few hits off my bong?" He suggests. I look over at the bong on top of his stereo speaker-then at Ray. Ray nods yes to me.
Okay then...
After many bong hits I realized that speed and weed do not go together. Even though they rhyme. GO figure. Now I am totally fucked up. I was so fucking hyper that I was still. Like a slow motion action shot. I could feel my heart beating irregular. That’s never good.
"Why dont you guys.. go uh sit.." Jay says nodding towards his couch. I look at Ray. He nods and heads towards the couch. I follow him and sit down next to him. " uh take your top off…relax" Jay says to me smirking. I look over at Ray. He shakes his head no a little. Wait was that a yes to the shirt or a no. Fuck.
"No?" I whisper to Ray.
He shakes his head harder. "No." he said firmly under his breath. Okay fine then its a no. God- chill out Ray I was just double checking.
Jay comes back and sits across from us. Ray had a bottle of water he swiped from my car and he was sipping on it.
"So what’s up Elle?" Jay starts. ”You still got your shirt on still so I guess this isn’t a social call." he laughs.
"huh?" I reply
"I thought you came by so uh you and me and him...could uh.." Jay said winking at me. My jaw dropped. Ray started choking on his water.
"Oh god! no- no- no- Jay thats not...oh fuck." I stammer
"Yeah thats it fuck!" he laughs. I look over at Ray quickly. Hes still couching up water. I pat him on the back until he stops.
"No I actually came for uh business." I say turning back to Jay.
"Oh thats too bad." Jay says smiling at me. I smile back. Fuck man. "So what’s up?" He asks
"Uh I wanted that fucking..."my mind went blank. "Uh what its called a giraffe?" I say to Ray. Jay raises an eyebrow at me. "No wait a goblin?" I say.
"Gibson." Ray says softly.
"Oh yeah a Gibson!" I tell Jay. He smiles.
"Oh I see you want a deal for your boyfriend here." He says smugly leaning back in his chair.
"No I want it for me." I say. Oooh quick thinking Elle! "Hes gonna teach me how to play." I said nodding towards Ray. Jay shrugs. I think he believes me! "Can I see it?" I ask
"Thats cool" He says getting up. I look at Ray. He looked like he was kinda sorry he came in until Jay appeared with the guitar. Jay handed it to me. "What’d ya think?" He said handing it to me.
"oooh" I said immediately touching all the strings and knobs. I look over and see a look of panic and fear in Rays eyes as I twist things on it. "oh sorry" I say and hand it to him. Right away he starts twisting things back. "Is it good?" I ask him. He nods with out looking up. "Okay he says its good." I say and Jay smiles.
"How much?" Ray asks finally looking up.
Jay started to say something but I cut him off. "Oh I’m not gonna pay him anything." I declare.
"Aw so we are gonna fuck." Jay says and starts smiling again. Ray looks sick.
"No no no" I said getting up and getting my bag. "I brought you a present though." I say pulling out a cd case. There were maybe 10 or 12 hits of acid inside. "From Ted." I said handing it to him. Jay hold is up and looks inside.
"They any good?" He asks
"Uh they’re from Ted." I said sarcastically. He shrugs. "So uh we cool then." I say smiling at him.
"Elle..." he groans. "This isn’t enough"
"Hey you owe me..." I said putting my coat back on. "remember route 32?" I ask him. Ray looks at me funny. Jay laughs and shrugs his shoulders. I nod to Ray lets go.
As we're walking out the door, Ray clutching his precious goblin or whatever the fuck its called tightly, Jay waves his finger at me "Ok but were even now." he says.
I gave him a quick peck on the cheek when Rays back was turned.
"yeah okay" I said...
"we're even...for now."
Ray drove us out of there since I was still all fucked up. We stopped at his house and got the cd and then we went to eat. The speed had mostly worn away and I was just mildly stoned by the time I got home. I went inside and checked my messages. A few from Lia. She couldn’t find Ray. Oops.
One was from Chrissy telling me to wear black tomorrow...Fuck how did she even get my number...and one message promising me divine absolution if I call a 900 number back. None from Gerard. Damn it. Well I’m not just gonna sit around and fucking wait. This isn’t like 1950 or some shit. I pick up the phone and dial the number. Oh fuck I hope Mikey answers... I gotta know if he talked to Gerard.. Someone answered...It was Gerard. Fuck—
"Uh hey its Elle." I say biting my lip
"Yeah I know." Gerard says then there was silence...
"You do?" I ask stupidly.
"Uh yeah we have caller ID." He says
"Oh" I say
...more silence..
fuck...
"so you saw it was me and picked it up?" I ask. God why am I acting so retarded. Duh Elle. Yes- phone rings-you pick it up. Fuck!
"Uh yeah..why wouldn’t I?" He asks.
I pull the phone away and look at the receiver. What?!? Did I dial the right number?! No it was definitely Gerard’s voice...
"I’m just surprised you called me." He said. Wait...WHAT?
"what?" I ask
"Cause of how I treated you in study." He mumbles. I push the phone closer to my ear. Fuck I hate phones. Is he being sarcastic? Is he apologizing? Fuck. Why cant I hear him?
"Uh I cant really hear you." I say
"Sorry." He mumbled. I could hear him switching ears on the phone. "How bout now?" He asked louder
"Uh yeah..thats better." I say
...more silence..
Finally I couldn’t take it anymore..."Uh you know I hate phones..umm can you just come over?" I blurt out.
"uh." He says. Fuck.. thats it- he was being sarcastic... why would he want to come over...he hates you still..damn I think I’m gonna be sick...just hang up the phone now Elle before he tells you off again.. I start to pull the phone from my ear when I hear him say "yeah ok" Well he mumbled it. But he just said yes. right? that was a yes?!!! Oh thank god! "Uh just give me a few hours k?" He mumbles. There was someone talking in the background. Sounded like a girl. A girl? I felt my temperature rising... He covered the receiver so I couldn’t make out what they were saying."Alright see ya later then bye." He said and hung up quickly.
A girl?
A fucking girl was at his house?
in his room?
This is not good.....
"Elle dont do anything stupid now." He says looking in my eyes. What me do something stupid? As if. I nodded repeatedly at him. Ray just looked at me. Wait nodding is agreeing right? Am I agreeing to do something stupid? Oh fuck. No I dont want to nod..Shit.. I start shaking my head no.
"I wont" I say and Ray sighed and took the keys out of the ignition. I got out of the car and leant my head back in the open door. "Wait how do know if its stupid?" I ask.
"Fuck." he said under his breath and opened his door too.
"Aw Ray you dont have come with me." I said cheerfully. I can do this. I can so fucking do this.
"Uh no I have to." Ray said sighing again. "Listen" he said "If you’re not sure what to do just look at me okay?"
"Ok." I said grabbing his arm. "Lets go." I reached up to ring the bell and Ray stopped me.
"I’ll ring it." He said firmly. He rang the bell... once.
We waited. I started bouncing again. Ray scratched his afro, then gave me one of those what the fuck am I doing here with you looks. Finally Jay opens the door. He is so fucking stoned. His place reeks of pot. There are fucking clouds of smoke hanging around the room.
"Hey." He says really slowly. He looks like hes been smoking all day. His eyes are halfway shut. He takes a step to the side as we walk in.
"Hey Jay-you remember Ray-hay jay and ray they all have A s- isn’t that funny we were just talking about that before- you know I’ve always liked the letter A -all words should have an A in it, it should be like a law or something even chipmunks is spelt with an A -wait they dont have an A except for Alvin and the chipmunks- he had an A- on his shirt -remember?" I babble to Jay. He looked at me and blinked his eyes.
"Uh hey." He repeats. Ray looked at him then at me. Oh yeah...why I am babbling about chipmunks-I’m here for the guitar. Focus Elle.
"Okay so I wanted to talk to you-“ I started to say to Jay.
"Whoa Elle " He says waving his hand at me to stop talking. As he swings his hand back he became mesmerized by it. Hes staring at his hand. I’m tapping my foot incessantly watching him stare at his hand. He wiggles his fingers as he moves it slowly. Still fucking mesmerized. Fuck. This is not gonna work. I’m on like fucking fast-forward and hes in slow motion. I look at Ray. Hes scratching his afro again. What happened to if you need help look at me?
"Jay?" I ask. He looks at me.
"Uh yeah Elle...you need to slow the fuck down hun.." He said his voice trailing off "Uh why dont you go take a few hits off my bong?" He suggests. I look over at the bong on top of his stereo speaker-then at Ray. Ray nods yes to me.
Okay then...
After many bong hits I realized that speed and weed do not go together. Even though they rhyme. GO figure. Now I am totally fucked up. I was so fucking hyper that I was still. Like a slow motion action shot. I could feel my heart beating irregular. That’s never good.
"Why dont you guys.. go uh sit.." Jay says nodding towards his couch. I look at Ray. He nods and heads towards the couch. I follow him and sit down next to him. " uh take your top off…relax" Jay says to me smirking. I look over at Ray. He shakes his head no a little. Wait was that a yes to the shirt or a no. Fuck.
"No?" I whisper to Ray.
He shakes his head harder. "No." he said firmly under his breath. Okay fine then its a no. God- chill out Ray I was just double checking.
Jay comes back and sits across from us. Ray had a bottle of water he swiped from my car and he was sipping on it.
"So what’s up Elle?" Jay starts. ”You still got your shirt on still so I guess this isn’t a social call." he laughs.
"huh?" I reply
"I thought you came by so uh you and me and him...could uh.." Jay said winking at me. My jaw dropped. Ray started choking on his water.
"Oh god! no- no- no- Jay thats not...oh fuck." I stammer
"Yeah thats it fuck!" he laughs. I look over at Ray quickly. Hes still couching up water. I pat him on the back until he stops.
"No I actually came for uh business." I say turning back to Jay.
"Oh thats too bad." Jay says smiling at me. I smile back. Fuck man. "So what’s up?" He asks
"Uh I wanted that fucking..."my mind went blank. "Uh what its called a giraffe?" I say to Ray. Jay raises an eyebrow at me. "No wait a goblin?" I say.
"Gibson." Ray says softly.
"Oh yeah a Gibson!" I tell Jay. He smiles.
"Oh I see you want a deal for your boyfriend here." He says smugly leaning back in his chair.
"No I want it for me." I say. Oooh quick thinking Elle! "Hes gonna teach me how to play." I said nodding towards Ray. Jay shrugs. I think he believes me! "Can I see it?" I ask
"Thats cool" He says getting up. I look at Ray. He looked like he was kinda sorry he came in until Jay appeared with the guitar. Jay handed it to me. "What’d ya think?" He said handing it to me.
"oooh" I said immediately touching all the strings and knobs. I look over and see a look of panic and fear in Rays eyes as I twist things on it. "oh sorry" I say and hand it to him. Right away he starts twisting things back. "Is it good?" I ask him. He nods with out looking up. "Okay he says its good." I say and Jay smiles.
"How much?" Ray asks finally looking up.
Jay started to say something but I cut him off. "Oh I’m not gonna pay him anything." I declare.
"Aw so we are gonna fuck." Jay says and starts smiling again. Ray looks sick.
"No no no" I said getting up and getting my bag. "I brought you a present though." I say pulling out a cd case. There were maybe 10 or 12 hits of acid inside. "From Ted." I said handing it to him. Jay hold is up and looks inside.
"They any good?" He asks
"Uh they’re from Ted." I said sarcastically. He shrugs. "So uh we cool then." I say smiling at him.
"Elle..." he groans. "This isn’t enough"
"Hey you owe me..." I said putting my coat back on. "remember route 32?" I ask him. Ray looks at me funny. Jay laughs and shrugs his shoulders. I nod to Ray lets go.
As we're walking out the door, Ray clutching his precious goblin or whatever the fuck its called tightly, Jay waves his finger at me "Ok but were even now." he says.
I gave him a quick peck on the cheek when Rays back was turned.
"yeah okay" I said...
"we're even...for now."
Ray drove us out of there since I was still all fucked up. We stopped at his house and got the cd and then we went to eat. The speed had mostly worn away and I was just mildly stoned by the time I got home. I went inside and checked my messages. A few from Lia. She couldn’t find Ray. Oops.
One was from Chrissy telling me to wear black tomorrow...Fuck how did she even get my number...and one message promising me divine absolution if I call a 900 number back. None from Gerard. Damn it. Well I’m not just gonna sit around and fucking wait. This isn’t like 1950 or some shit. I pick up the phone and dial the number. Oh fuck I hope Mikey answers... I gotta know if he talked to Gerard.. Someone answered...It was Gerard. Fuck—
"Uh hey its Elle." I say biting my lip
"Yeah I know." Gerard says then there was silence...
"You do?" I ask stupidly.
"Uh yeah we have caller ID." He says
"Oh" I say
...more silence..
fuck...
"so you saw it was me and picked it up?" I ask. God why am I acting so retarded. Duh Elle. Yes- phone rings-you pick it up. Fuck!
"Uh yeah..why wouldn’t I?" He asks.
I pull the phone away and look at the receiver. What?!? Did I dial the right number?! No it was definitely Gerard’s voice...
"I’m just surprised you called me." He said. Wait...WHAT?
"what?" I ask
"Cause of how I treated you in study." He mumbles. I push the phone closer to my ear. Fuck I hate phones. Is he being sarcastic? Is he apologizing? Fuck. Why cant I hear him?
"Uh I cant really hear you." I say
"Sorry." He mumbled. I could hear him switching ears on the phone. "How bout now?" He asked louder
"Uh yeah..thats better." I say
...more silence..
Finally I couldn’t take it anymore..."Uh you know I hate phones..umm can you just come over?" I blurt out.
"uh." He says. Fuck.. thats it- he was being sarcastic... why would he want to come over...he hates you still..damn I think I’m gonna be sick...just hang up the phone now Elle before he tells you off again.. I start to pull the phone from my ear when I hear him say "yeah ok" Well he mumbled it. But he just said yes. right? that was a yes?!!! Oh thank god! "Uh just give me a few hours k?" He mumbles. There was someone talking in the background. Sounded like a girl. A girl? I felt my temperature rising... He covered the receiver so I couldn’t make out what they were saying."Alright see ya later then bye." He said and hung up quickly.
A girl?
A fucking girl was at his house?
in his room?
This is not good.....
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