FicWad

Lia nodded a little and I jumped up knocking my dish off the table. I ran into the bathroom and threw up.

Lia came in and I had my head leant over the sink. She reached around and shut the water off. "Elle are you okay?" She says rubbing my back a little.

"You were with Brutus last night?" I repeat shutting my eyes and shaking a little.

"Calm down." She laughs. "We were just hanging out."

I spin around to her. "Stay away from him Lia." I say loudly. She laughs. "I mean it." I say grabbing her arm roughly.

"Elle!" She gasps.

"Promise me!" I yell at her in anger. "Promise me you'll stay away from him." I say shaking her a little.

"Okay okay." She says putting her hand on my shoulder and rubbing it a little." I guess he is a little creepy, and old!"

She laughs a little. "Hey are you alright?" she said as I started to cry.

"I just want to get out of here." I told her.

"Come on" She said wrapping her arm around me as we walked out of the bathroom.

Lia left some money on the table and we didn't speak until we got into her car. She pulled out her altoids tin and handed me a small white pill. I made a face at it.

"Seriously Elle." She said forcing it into my hand. "You're having some fucked up mood swings." She says starting the car.

"I am not." I protested.

"You screamed at me for no reason." She said raising her eyebrows at me. I turned and looked out the window. "I mean did you hear anything my dad told you?" She said softly. I rolled my eyes... I knew where she was coming from... she figured her dad was what trying to reach out to me... trying to help me...

"I don't know what to tell you Lia." I say to her ."But I don't think this is gonna help." I said swallowing the pill.
"I could help you." She said softly. I just looked out the window. Oh Lia... I felt like such a traitor, sitting there next to her... I wanted to tell her about her dad... but I didn't.... It wasn't cause I was scared, or cause I felt sorry for him cause I didn't... I wanted to rip his cold heart right out of his chest and watch him die...

But Lia... I couldn't let him hurt her like that...She didn't deserve that... It was gonna be bad enough when she finds out they're getting a divorce, but at least she wouldn't be in the middle of it... She'll never know her dad was willing to sell her out like that... At least he'd still be a good man in her eyes... The man who use to bring us to the park...Fuck... pull it together...

I managed to convince Lia on the way home that I was okay... Just stressed from the holidays and losing my papa and all... I don't think she really believed me, but she was too preoccupied thinking about Bob to push it... I told her what he said about wanting to work things out and just like that things were back to normal... well, what's considered normal between me and Lia anyway...

I ended up inviting Lia and Bob to the city for New Years... I wasn't going to... I wanted to go with Gerard... I mean Gerard was coming too, but it was suppose to be me and him alone. After everything that happened though, I thought it would be a good thing inviting them.... It was Bob's birthday and I needed to do something good to balance out all the bad I was doing by not telling Lia about her dad.

Gerard and I had the same conversation over and over again the next few days. I mean catching Mr. Watson with that girl was a bad thing... but telling Lia and having her dad disown her for what god damn money? Would be ten times worse... So I guess not telling her is a good thing? Maybe? I don't know anymore.

My whole karmic alignment is out of whack. Ever since I gave that bum that little bit of weed we had left that day, I don't know which way is up. I try to do good and it turns out bad... Fuck... What is good? Telling on Bill? No that would be bad? Wouldn't it? Argh!!! Gerard said I was making too big a deal of it... That there is no giant cosmic scale ruling my life and I should just do what I think is right and to stop trying to balance out everything.. That some times bad things happen for no reason at all. I can't believe that though... I know the reason that I ended up with this tattoo was cause I fucked that bum over...

Now it was the morning of New Years Eve. We getting ready to catch the bus to go into the city. Every year my mom would take me to watch the ball drop and we'd stay in the Crowne Plaza. It was pricey but my papa had some kind corporate account thing with his bank job and it was one of his perks I guess so it cost hardly anything. Every year they ask if I want to book it again and I always say yeah... After my mom died my papa brought me once or twice but it was hard for him to get around with all the crowds in the city... Last year I went with Paul. I was suppose to go with him again this year, but that's not gonna happen now...

We were suppose to be meeting Lia and Bob at the park and ride bus station thing in like ten minutes but I still wasn't ready. I was trying to force a pair of black patent leather stiletto heels into my suitcase. Gerard was standing in the bedroom doorway with his coat on watching.

"Just leave them." He said getting aggravated.

"I need them!' I pout as I start pulling shit out of my suitcase.

"No you don't." he says coming towards me.

"I do too." I protest as he sits on the bed shaking his head at me a little. "I'll tell you what I don't need." I say pulling a sweater out. "This!" I say tossing it on the floor. "Or this one." I say throwing a thermal top over my shoulder. Now there was enough room. I smiled as I put my heels in neatly.

"Fuck Elle." Gerard groans getting up and picking it up off the floor. "Its fucking 10 degrees outside. You need this." He says trying to take my shoes out.

"No" I say trying to stop him. I reach over and throw myself on top of the suitcase. He just laughs. "Please-I need them." I insist. "You don't understand." I sigh as he lifts me off the suitcase. "If I can't bring them then its like I can't have what I want- like the scales are tipping against me... That I might as well accept the fact that I am cursed now! " I yell trying to force it closed. Even with out the shirts, it still won't close right.

"And with out this, you're gonna freeze tonight" He says as he holds the thermal shirt up.

"'Ill put that on now then, just close my suitcase." I say pulling it over my head. I already had a t-shirt on and I pulled the thermal over it.

"You put the thermal under the t-shirt Elle." Gerard says laughing a little watching me.

"Why?" I ask him.

"I don't know you just do." He says pulling one of the heels out and looking at it. I start pulling off the layers and putting them back on like he said...

'What's the fucking difference?' I mumble as I pull the thermal back on.

"What the fuck are you gonna do with these shoes anyway?" I hear him say as I pull the t-shirt over my head.

"I was gonna wear them to sleep." I say, but it came out all muffled and he couldn't really hear me. He put the shoe back and was trying to force it closed, but it wouldn't zipper.

"What?" He said looking up at me.

"I brought them to wear for when we go to sleep." I say plainly. He gives me a funny look.

"With what else?" He says cocking one eyebrow up at me as a slow smile formed on his lips.

I just looked at him blankly. "Uh with nothing. I didn't pack anything to sleep in except the shoes." I said teasing him. "If you want me to put them back and pack something else I will." I said opening my drawer and pulling out another thermal shirt.

"No." He laughed grinning at me. "The shoes are coming." He says forcing the suitcase closed.

"Aaahh! you closed it." I squealed as he picked it up off the bed. I reached up and wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him. "I guess I'm not cursed." I say kissing him.

"Come on lets go." He said as he opened the front door. I was still buttoning my coat up. He held the door open for me and I as stepped outside, there was a man coming up the steps towards me. I took a step back. He was almost 50 I guess. He was wearing a suit and had a long brown overcoat on. He looked kinda like that detective that was here that day my papa died with the notepad but I know it wasn't the same guy.

"Michelle Waller." He says coldly to me and I nod. Gerard is still standing in the doorway. The man pulls out a large manila envelope and hands it to me. I just stood there frozen looking at it. "Have a happy new year folks." The man says and walks away.

"What the fuck is that?" Gerard says looking over my shoulder. "J. Reefer and Associates?" He reads off the return address label.

"That's my papas attorneys." I say frowning.

"Mr. Reefer?" He laughs as we walk towards the car.

"Hey don't laugh." I say smiling as we get in. "Mr. Reefer happens to be a very mean little man, and he doesn't like people making fun of his name let me tell you." I say staring down at the envelope in my lap.

"Aren't you going to open it."? He says nodding at it.

I shrug. "Its probably just paperwork... that Mr. Reefer loves sending me paperwork." I sigh opening the envelope. Inside there was a type written letter and another white envelope, but it was like greeting card sized.

"Does he always comes in person?" Gerard laughs taking the white envelope and looking at it. "Is this like a Christmas card from the Reefer family " He laughs tapping the envelope on the steering wheel.
.
"That wasn't Mr. Reefer! I don't know who that guy was." I laugh too as I skim over the letter in my hand. "oh my god." I gasp.

"What is it?" he says leaning over a little.

I point to the envelope in Gerard's hand...

"It's a letter..." I say sitting up a little...."from my mom..."