FicWad

"What?" Gerard says holding the envelope in the air.

I start reading the typed letter out loud:

'Dear Ms. Waller, as executors of Miss Katrina Waller's estate we are bound by law to fulfill the last will and testament as provided to us. Blah blah blah, As per paragraph something the enclosed letter written by Ms. Katrina Waller is to be delivered to her daughter Michelle Waller on the first new years eve upon which her daughter reaches 18 years of age...'

I stop reading and look over at Gerard. He holds it out for me but I wont take it. "Elle.' He says pushing it closer to me. I reach over and take it from him and put it in my lap. "Aren't you going to open it?" He says to me.

"I'm kinda cold." I say and he looks at me in disbelief. "Uh can you turn the heat on?" I say nodding towards the keys in the ignition. He starts the car up and turns back to me. "Can we go, were gonna be late." I say tapping my fingers on my leg a little. It was silent for a moment.

"I didn't mean to Elle..." He says as we pull out.

"To what?" I ask him reaching over and putting my hand on his leg.

"I mean I get it if you wanted to read it alone." He said softly.

"Read what?" I say adjusting the heat a little.

"The fucking letter on your lap." He says looking over at me like I'm nuts.

"Oh."I say shrugging.

"You're not even the least bit curious Elle?" He says looking over at it again.

"I mean, yeah." I say picking it up and running my hands along the edge.

"Are you going to open it?" He asks.

"I cant." I say weakly looking down at.

"Why not?" He says to me. Why not? Is he kidding? Has he not seen how bad things have been going lately...He didn't say anything the rest of the way. He just kept looking over at the envelope. I think the anticipation was killing him... It was cute... I was kinda jealous too... I mean he was so sure that nothing but good could come from me reading it... I knew better though...

We were on the bus now... I leant my head against Gerard's shoulder and he ran his fingers along the top of my hand. I wanted to leave the letter in the car, but Gerard said I should bring it... That I might change my mind and want to read it... That my mom wanted me to have it on this day for some reason. I looked over at Bob and Lia, sitting across from us. Lia looked so happy. Bob was whispering something to her pointing at a strange looking man sitting in front of them and she was trying not to laugh.

I did the right thing not telling her... I know I did...

We got off the bus and started down the street. I pulled my coat a tighter to me as the wind blew. I could see Gerard smiling at me out of the corner of his eye. I was just waiting for him tease me about wanting to leave my thermals home now...

"Mary Jane..." A voice calls out as we walk toward the hotel. I just ignored it... I mean there was a lot of noise...

"Hey there Miss Mary Jane." The voice says louder this time from behind me. I look over my shoulder.

"Holy shit." I gasp looking at the man coming towards me. "Hey its you." I say reaching out to him. Gerard grabs my arm and pulls me back slightly.

"Aw fuck." Bob says laughing a little as he recognized the man.

"Do you know who this is?" I say to Gerard laughing a little. He raised his eyebrows at me. "This is that guy I told you about." I said as Lia grabbed Bobs arm a little and stepped back.

"Oh" Gerard said looking the disheveled man that Bob and I had met the last time over a little. "Uh hey." He finally says.

"You really help me out Miss Jane." The man mumbles.

"What?" I say in disbelief. Bob is whispering something to Lia now, I guess he's telling her what happened, and she's making a face...

"I say -that you help out that day." He says smiling a little. "Maybe you can do it again." He says leaning towards me. He was obviously a little drunk or high. Gerard pulled me back a little. Maybe he was just mentally unstable.

"I helped you out?" I kinda yelled excitedly and the guy nodded. "I didn't fuck you over." I say grabbing the mans arm. He just looked at me.

"I thank God for people, you." The man stuttered. "I pray at St. Marie's Cathedral every morning." The man said swaying a little. "Jesus saves us all." He yells out loudly at some people walking by. "Praise the lord." He mumbles shaking his fist a little at them.

"You prayed for me?" I said biting down on my lip. The guy kinda nodded. I jumped up and grabbed the man and gave him a big kiss right on the mouth. His lips were dirty and he a lot of stubble that scratched my face.

Lia kinda shrieked and Gerard grabbed me back by my neck and was cursing under his breath.

"You saved my life!" I said to the man who was just squinting at me like he was trying to focus on what just happened.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Gerard hissed at me.

"He saved my life." I tried to explain to Gerard. He just shook his head at me. "That morning..."I whispered to Gerard. "He prayed for me." I remembered the sun coming up and that look on Brutus's face when I got up... "I just walked out of there... " I whispered out loud...I mean I just got up and walked out... he didn't stop me...

I didn't fuck that bum over... I helped him and he prayed for me in the morning and I was able to just... to just walk away... Brutus should've killed me... but he didn't...

"Lets go." Gerard said pulling me back a little.

"Wait." I resisted a little.

"Um, were gonna go check in." Bob says as he and Lia went towards the hotels doors. Lia was whispering something to him looking over at me and Gerard and the man. Bob was trying not to laugh.

"Oh can I have the paper with the confirmation numbers?" Lia says turning back. I open my purse and hand her the papers. As I opened my purse the guy leaned over and kinda looked in at the money I had floating around in my bag. I didn't have a wallet and I just shoved all my money in.

'Hey" I say pulling out 2 twenties. "I uh forgot my ID." I say to the guy. "Can you uh go buy us some bottles of Bacardi? I say pointing to the store on the corner. I pull out another bill. "And whatever you want for yourself" I say handing it to him. I look over at Gerard. He was staring off into space.

The guy shrugged and shuffled off into the store. I reached over and held Gerard's hand. I squeezed it a little and he looked over at me and sighed. I was smiling. I reached up to kiss him and pulled back quickly.

"Whoa!" He said putting his hand over my mouth.

"What?" I protested.

"Uh I aint kissing you till you wash your mouth out." He teased.

"Oh come on!" I laughed as we waited outside the store. "Its not like I slipped him the tongue." I said trying to kiss Gerard again.

"Stop." He laughed pushing me away as the guy came out. He handed Gerard a bag and walked away mumbling something about God or Jesus being damned or some shit... He didn't even say thank you...


We made our way up to the room. It was a nice room. It's the same one every year so I wasn't impressed. It had a small living room type area with a couch bed and a two chairs and a desk. And then a separate bedroom with a big bed and a Jacuzzi tub in the corner. Gerard brought me into the bathroom and insisted on watching me brush my teeth. He made me brush them like 3 fucking times already.

"Is that good?" I said rinsing my mouth out. He made a face.

"Why the fuck did you kiss him for anyway?" Gerard moaned handing me the mouthwash again.

"I told you!" I said gurgling a little. I spit it out and then reached over and shut the door. "You don't understand." I said softly.

"No I don't understand, cause you don't want to talk about it." Gerard said running his hand along my lip. He leant in and kissed me softly. "I hate to think your lips touched someone else's." He said kissing me a little harder. Great... I'm finally ready to tell him and he says something like that...

"Just forget it." I say sighing.

"No tell me." He says wrapping his arms around me. "If that bum helped saved you then I want to know how." He said pulling me close. "Fuck if he really did save you then I'll kiss him too." He laughed.

"Gerard." I moaned. He was teasing me...

"No come on... tell me." He said running his hands down my back. He wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me up. He sat me on the bathroom counter and leant over and kissed me again. "Just don't give me that karma crap again." He laughed and I frowned.

"Then forget it." I said shaking my head.

"No tell me." He said softly running his hand along my cheek. He was sincere, I could tell.. I wanted to tell him... I was so tired of carrying all this around...

"I just walked out of there." I said softly as Gerard stroked my cheek again. I shut my eyes and leant my head against his hand. "I mean I was so sure I wasn't gonna wake up and every time I did-"

"What do you mean every time?" Gerard's voice interrupted me. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter remembering.

"I'm trying to say that, that after everything I was so sure he wasn't just gonna let me walk out and I did..." I said opening my eyes and looking at Gerard. " I just got up and walked out in the morning..." I told him and he raised his eyebrow a little at the word morning.

"And you think it was cause of all the good karma you've got?" He said hesitantly. I nodded.

"It's the only explanation." I say shrugging. He sighed and kissed my forehead. "I guess I'm all balanced out now." I laughed a little.

Gerard took a step back. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Are you gonna read the letter now?" He said opening the bathroom door.

I smiled. "I think I am." I said grabbing my purse from the floor. I mean things are good now... And he was right... my mom wanted me to have this letter today for some reason...

I reach into my bag... "Gerard!" I yell out and he looks up. I dump my purse out onto the floor. "No!" I yell shaking a little.

"What's the matter?" He says coming toward me.

I started to cry..." I think I lost it."