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Sara just stared at me as I started to eat the salad. Mr. Bonner had dispersed the crowd away and he had Gerard and Ray and Paul and some other guys lined up in front of him. He was waving his hands around saying something about this being inexcusable behavior. I looked up at Gerard.

His knuckles were bruised and bloody. He had a small cut on his cheek. He had a real strange look in his eye. As Mr. Bonner carried on he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled a little. Well he got what he wanted... to taste Pauls blood... I smiled a little watching him. It was strangely arousing... He had some sweat on his forehead and his hair was all messed up... He was breathing a little heavy. I was starting to get flustered just thinking about him. I wanted to just jump up and run over there and knock him down and fuck his brains out. I wonder if I'd get suspended for doing that...But I think it's worth it.... I started to get up and Sara called my name.

"Elle where are you going?" She said grabbing my arm.

"I uh..." I didn't know what to say.

"You look a little..." She squinted trying to think of a word. Mr. Bonner started ordering them out of the cafeteria. I sighed watching them leave. Sara was still talking.

"What did you say?" I asked her once they were gone.

"I said if you're okay?" Sara said giving me a funny look. Fuck... They were all going to get suspended I just knew it...

"Yeah I'm just." I shrugged and smiled at her a little. Poor Sara didn't know what the fuck was going on. She asked me if I thought they were going to come back. I just laughed..

"No.. They're not coming back." I told her and she frowned. She didn't say much for the rest of lunch. Just kept nibbling on her carrot sticks and giving me funny looks... Oh well...

I made it through the rest of the day with out any trouble...Gerard was suspended. Ray too. I offered to drive Mikey home but he said he'd take the bus. I guess Bob was going to Lia's house so I just went straight home.

When I got home I called Mr. Reefer and told him that I wanted to do the blood test. He said he'd call me and Bob and let us know when. After I hung up I realized that I was alone. I mean no one else was around. I hate being alone...

When I'm alone I think... and thinking is never good. I opened the pop tarts and pulled out a bag of weed and rolled it up. I laid on the couch smoking it thinking about Mr. Samuel...I wonder how well he knew my mother... Maybe he's got some pictures of her... I don't have very many pictures... When I was 10 we had an electrical fire and lost almost everything...

I sighed and took another hit of the joint dangling between my fingers. I just couldn't believe he went to high school with my mom... My mom never even graduated, she dropped out when she got pregnant with me, and I guess cause of my dad...my dad...

I could feel my blood boiling. I have to deal with him. If he thinks I'm just sit back and let him fuck Lia's mom over and Lia like he did to me and my mom...rrgh...on impulse I pick up the phone and dial. I've called this number for my grandpa so many times I didn't even have to look it up.

"Investment Services" The lady answers dryly.

"Can I please speak to Mr. Bill Watson." I say feeling a little faint. She asks who's calling and tells me to hold on. I sat listening to this god-awful elevator music for a while. I debated whether or not I should just hang up... and then... someone started knocking on the door. I open it and peek out. It's Frankie. He sees I'm on the phone and doesn't say anything. I hold the door open and wave him in. He follows me back into the kitchen. I lean against the counter tapping my foot slightly waiting. The lady gets back on the line.

"I'm sorry Mr. Watson is not available would you like to leave a message." She says to me.

"No I am not calling back. You tell him that's bullshit and I want to speak to him NOW." I say loudly and Frankie gives me a funny look.

"Hold on." She says annoyed. I roll my eyes. I hold the joint out and Frankie takes it from me smiling a little. I turn my back to him a little as Mr. Watson comes on the line.

"This is Bill Watson." His voice filled the line...

"I needed to talk to you." I said squeezing my eyes shut.

"Is everything okay dear?" He says to me. I can hear him shuffling papers around.

"My mom wrote me a letter before she died." I say taking a deep breath. There was silence. I could hear Frankie couching a little behind me. Fuck.. That shit was strong I should've warned him...

"Can you meet me in two hours?" Bill says his voice cracking a little.

"What?" I say looking over my shoulder at Paulie.. He was holding the joint looking at it like he couldn't believe how strong it was. Then he shrugged and took another hit. I smiled a little at him.

"The double tree motel. On Sherman Blvd. I have a room there -room 409." He tells me.

"I am NOT meeting you in a motel!" I shriek turning my back to Frankie again.

"Elle I'd like to discuss this with you in private." He says raising his voice a little.

"Discuss!" I scream and then I remember that Frankie's in the room. " I pull the phone closer and cover the mouthpiece a little. "You want to 'discuss' how you raped my mother." I hiss into it. I don't think Frankie heard me.

"That's not entirely true." He says.

"Bullshit." I yell and Frankie looks up.

"Elle-There's a lot more to it and if you want to talk to me about it, Then you can meet me and I'd be more than happy to explain things to you dear." He says using that slick banking voice that I hate... The one where they assure you that you have nothing to worry about meanwhile the stocks are plummeting...

"Fine- 2 hours." I say grabbing a pen from the drawer. "Where was it again?" I ask

"Double tree motel-Sherman Blvd." He repeats and I scribble it down on scrap of paper.

"Uh'huh." I say

"Room 409.- Two hours dear." He says and I slam the phone down. Frankie got up and was standing next to me looking over my shoulder.

"Room 409?" He says trying to grab the paper. I smacked his hand.

"Mind your fucking business Frankie." I snap at him.

"Whoa." he says taking a step back and raising his hands in the air.

"Oh I'm sorry." I said rubbing his arm a little. "It just...uh what are you dong here anyway? Gerard's not here he was suspended." I say as he hands me back the joint. It was almost gone...

"Yeah I know. I thought Bob could give me a ride home but Lia said something about an earring and they were going out for steak." He said laughing a little.

"Out for steak?" I repeat making a face.

"I don't know." He laughed again. "So can you bring me home?" He says making a pathetic face.

"I have to go change first." I shrug taking the last hit off the joint. "I guess I could drop you off on the way." I say mashing it into the ashtray.

"Are you meeting Gerard?" Frankie said and I just stared at him blankly.

"Gerard got suspended." I say a little confused. Didn't we already go through this?

"Then who are you meeting at the motel?" Frankie said looking at me wide-eyed.

"Don't worry about it Frankie" I said heading down the hall towards my room.

"Elle, you have to tell me." He insisted.

"Fuck off." I said shut my bedroom door right in his face.

I changed out of the anthrax shirt into a tight red shirt. I brushed my hair and took a quick look in the mirror. Maybe red wasn't the best color. It made my eyes look even more bloodshot... I put on some eyeliner and smudge it a little. It made it a little better but whatever. I opened the bedroom door expecting to find Frankie still standing there, but he wasn't. I went in the living room he wasn't there. He wasn't in the kitchen. He wasn't anywhere... Maybe I was hallucinating and he was never really here I thought as I went outside...

Fuck... He was here. Sitting on the hood of my car actually.

"You ready to go?" I laughed.

"Yeah" he says, "What's so funny?"

"I thought I lost you." I said as I started the car.

"Naw, I'm coming with you to the motel." He said turning up the radio. I laughed and looked over at him. He nodded seriously.

"Uh no you're not." I said making a face.

He reached over and fastened his seatbelt and folded his arms. "I'm not getting out of this car." He said stubbornly. Fuck... Do I need this? I mean do I fucking need this! "What are you going there for Elle?" He says loudly.

"Frankie you need to leave it alone. Its none of your business." I say turning on to the highway. I was heading towards his house...

"No everyone's got secrets and I'm never included." Frankie pouts. I roll my eyes. "Lia and Bob have secret steak and your off-"

"Secret steak?" I interrupt him laughing.

"That's what they said." He tells me frowning. I roll my eyes again. "Elle come on just let me come" he begs and I frown. "Unless you're doing something wrong." He says raising an eyebrow at me. "You're not fucking around on Gee are you?" He says very seriously. He thinks I'm going to meet Bill for sex?

"No!" I laugh. "That's sick! Me and... him!" I blurt out. Fuck I was stoned... "He's...he's..." I stutter...

"He's!?" Frankie says and I ignore him. "Who is he Elle?" Frankie insists.

"Just some one that knew my mom." I shrug biting my lip a little. I was trying not to cry.

"You think he's your dad?" Frankie says softly. Damn. Frankie is the only guy I know who actually becomes smarter when he's high...

I sigh. I was just too fucked up to argue with him or try to make something up. "I don't know." I sigh making a u-turn. Frankie reached over and held my hand. "You can come if you want-but you have to wait in the car." I say looking over at him. He raised his eyebrows at me. "No that's the deal." I say and he shrugs a little.

The doubletree motel was over an hour away. Bill should be arriving around the same time we were. Frankie didn't say anything the rest of the ride. Except when I blew through a stop sign. I tried to explain to him that you don't really have to stop. It's more like a suggestion...

We got to the motel and I parked in the back. It was like an L shaped building with all the room doors outside. I saw Bills car parked in the front. I hoped Frankie didn't recognize it. I told him Id be back in 10 minutes. He said if I wasn't he was going to come in and get me. Oh Frankie!

I walked towards the door and looked at the numbers 409. This is it. I thought as I knocked. Bill opened the door. He had his suit coat off and he was loosening his tie. He held the door open and I went in.

"I'm glad you came." He said sitting down at this table desk thing. He motioned for me to sit.

"Go to hell." I snapped at him. "If you think I'm here-" I started to say.

"No I think you're here cause you think I'm your father." He says waving his finger at me. "And I'm telling you right now that that is simply not true..."