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Nick?" I repeated back stupidly.

Mr. Samuel sat up in his chair. "I'm sorry I just assumed." He said apologizing a little.

"Nick who?" I said loudly.

"Why don't we talk about something else?" He says shuffling papers around. I wanted to scream at him, jump up and shake him till he told me. But I was just so weak... I looked down at my arm in my lap. I could see the blood seeping through the bandage again. I was feeling queasy. Mr. S continued to talk I wasn't listening. I was staring at my arm, spacing out again. Mr. S leans over and looks. "Oh my." He says getting up and coming around the desk. "Why don't you go to the nurse Elle." He tells me.

I shake my head no. "Tell me who Nick is." I say to him and he frowns.

"Elle I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." He says shaking his head a little.

"If you know who my father is you have to tell me!" I say loudly. I suddenly got a surge of strength... Knowing that he knew... That I was so close...

"Tell you who he is?-I thought you said that you didn't get along with him?" Mr. S says a little confused.

"I thought I knew who he was, but I found out I was wrong." I sighed a little. Mr. S looked off into the distance. "If you know then you have to tell me, please." I started to cry.

"I'm not really sure." He sighed.

"You just said Nick!" I exclaim and he shrugs a little. "Well Nick who?" I say getting a little worked up.

"I don't know Elle.- He was uh.. Your moms dealer." He said softly looking off into the distance again.

"But they were-" I encouraged him.

"They might have been. I assumed they were." Mr. S said getting a little flustered. "Like I said." He said hastily "I was no longer in her life at that point." He says to me.

"But you wanted to be." I say softly and he doesn't answer me.

He finally stands up. "Now whose counseling who here?" He says smiling a little at me.

"You really don't know his last name?" I say softly. He shakes his head no. "and there's no chance then that you'd know where I could find him?" I say and Mr. S laughs.

"Jail- I'd hope." He says looking up at the clock. 'Why don't you go stop in the nurse the office before classes get out." He says closing his folder, signaling we were done. "I'm sure she could re-bandage it for you." He says to me.

"Yeah okay." I say getting up. I'm not going to the fucking nurses office... He's crazy... I walk out his office and keep going. Down the hall and out the exit door. The bell should be ringing soon... I didn't need anything in my locker seeing as I didn't even have my book bag... I went and waited on the corner for Gerard. The same corner where I fell and broke my foot... That seemed like so long ago...

I heard the bell ring. Gerard's gonna want to bring me to the hospital... I just know it... The bandage was all bloody again. Damn how do I make it stop bleeding.... Maybe if I hold it over my head... I think I read that some where... That it'll stop the flow...

I raise my arm straight up. It hurt but I held it up. I started seeing people coming out. Come on Gerard... fuck... I don't think I can hold it up much longer...

Oh there he is... He's walking this way, alone. Smiling at me.

"Whatcha doing?" He laughs a little nodding towards my outstretched arm.

"Trying to make it stop bleeding." I say plainly. He makes a face at me and sighs.

"It didn't stop." He says. I shake my head no.

"I'm not going to the hospital." I tell him. "I hate those places Gerard...cant you just... just ask Mikey to wrap it again.. I mean he..."

"I told you if it didn't stop you have to go, you've lost a lot of blood its not healthy-" he tries to tell me and I cut him off.

"Oh before I forget! I wanted to tell you -Mr. S says that my fathers name is Nick." I say excitedly.

"What?" Gerard laughs a little, wrapping his arm around me as we started to walk down the block. I told him everything Mr. S said. He just listened.

"So?" I said as we approached my house.

"Its not a lot to go on Elle." Gerard sighed.

"Its more than I've had in a long time Gerard!" I exclaim. "Don't ruin this for me." I tell him getting a little upset that he's not as excited as I am.

"I just think we should be focusing on us." He says putting his hand on my stomach. "I don't want you worrying about other things." He says as a strange feeling comes over me.

I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. My whole body shook for a second. I felt a wave of pain pass over me. It felt like some one stabbed me in the gut. Every muscle in my stomach contracted all at once and I doubled over in pain. I felt blood all over my legs. I looked down and my jeans were soaked from my crotch all the way down to my knees.

I couldn't breathe it hurt so much. Gerard reached his hands out and grabbed me. He was saying something but I couldn't understand what it was. Everything was muffled. All I could feel was the pain and the cold wet blood on my legs as the wind blew. It felt like some one was reaching in a scraping the life out me.

"Hospital." I whimpered as Gerard lifted me into his arms.

That was the last thing I remembered. Telling him...

"You have to bring me..."

I woke up lying in a hospital bed. I had had a miscarriage. At least that's what I thought I heard the doctor say to Gerard. I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes... I could hear different voices and sounds of machines whirling all around. I felt some one come in and poke my arm a little. I heard a woman ask Gerard what happened to my arm. He was giving her some bullshit story. I felt a pinching pain in my arm. I cried out a little and opened my eyes. She was stitching my arm up, frowning a little.

"What the fuck?" I yell a little, pulling my arm back.

"Shhh.' Gerard said reaching over and grabbing my other arm. "Just let her do it." He tells me.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to numb it again." She says reaching for an insanely large needle. I took one look at the needle and everything went black again....

----

I awoke I don't even know how much later to a middle aged doctor holding the most intense smelling thing I ever thought existed inches away from my nose.

I wrinkled my face and gasped for air a little sitting up. I was instantly wide-awake.

"There you are dear." He says a little cheerfully. "Smelling salts." He turns and says to Gerard. "You really should keep some around, if she's prone to fainting." He tells him.

"I'm not prone to fainting." I say and Gerard rolls his eyes a little. "I'm not." I insist.

"Lets see here." The doctor says ignoring us flipping through my chart. "I'm Doctor Andrews, Miss Waller" he introduces himself. "It says here you're being treated for a nasty gash on your arm." He says looking over at it. "Uh-huh... looks like they stitched that up nicely for you...hmm 29 stitches." He reads shaking his head a little like he was impressed. What a fucking nut job this guy is.

I look over at my arm and wince. "No what did they do to me-" I say freaking out a little looking at it.

"Its okay Elle." Gerard says squeezing my hand. "She did a real good job putting them in- and, she said you might not even have a scar afterwards." He says trying to reassure me.

"Well, if she put them in how do I get them out?!" I say biting my lip a little.

"You don't." The doctor says flipping the page. I started to feel faint again.

"They stay forever?" I kinda yell.

"They'll dissolve." Doctor Andrews tells me like I'm stupid and I should've known that.

"Dissolve?" I repeat.

He sighs and closes the chart for a minute. "Its an absorbable suture." He tells me. "You won't need to come back and have them removed unless you prefer we remove them now and use something more permanent-"

"No" I yell interrupting him. "Its fine." I say rubbing my eye a little. They had my one hand in some kinda half metal arm brace so I couldn't bang it around I guess. I made a face at it.

"You should keep that on for a few days." The doctor says opening the chart back up again. "Okay" He says sighing reading over the page again. "You were suffering from Anaemia." He pauses and looks over at me. "That means blood loss." He says. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself but then he says "And- you also had a chemical pregnancy."

I look up at him and shake my head a little. "a what?" I say nervously trying to get up out of the bed. Gerard pushed me back down a little. That's when I noticed the IV going into my arm... Fuck...

"A chemical pregnancy?" Gerard says. I look over he's got the same confused look I do.

"It's a pregnancy loss, very early on." The doctor tries to explain. " In a chemical pregnancy, the egg is fertilized but fails to implant." He says and I continue to look at him blankly.

"How do you know that's what happened to me? ...I mean when did I get pregnant?" I ask him freaking out a little.

"Well, since a chemical pregnancy ends so early, there's nothing to see on an ultrasound, we measure the level of the chemical hCG in your blood, similar to a home pregnancy test." He says scribbling something down on my chart. "It usually occurs with in 2 weeks of conception." He says and I feel my hand slip from Gerard's.

Everything was going dark again. The doctor frowns and waves the salt packet in my face again. I gasp a little snapping out of it. "Not prone to fainting huh?" the bastard laughs. I'm lying in a hospital bed and the doctor is making jokes at my expense....

"Look can I just go home now?" I say watching Gerard runs his hands through his hair a little. He looked over me and didn't say anything.

"I'd like to keep you here on an IV for a few hours." The doctor says shaking his head a little.

"Well, I'd like to go home." I reply. He walks over and injects something into the IV bag that they attached to my arm.

"That should keep you calm for a few hours." He scribbles on the paper and walks out.

"Elle." Gerard says sighing a little looking at me. He didn't know what to say."Come lay with me." I tell him moving over on the bed slightly. He shook his head no. "Gerard please." I tell him whining a little. I was starting to feel a little funny. I wonder what he injected in there...

"I'm so sorry Elle." He said as he laid down next to me.

"Sorry for what?" I tell him. "Its not your fault." I say as he wraps his arm around me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He says his voice sounding a little funny. He looked over at the IV bag too. I guess wondering the same thing I was.

"Its actually good in a way you know." I say feeling very sleepy all of a sudden.

"What?" I hear Gerard say.

"I mean I prayed Gerard." I say drifting off to sleep. "I prayed if it wasn't yours that...that..." My voice trailed off... I wanted to keep talking but I was just so tired...

I heard him say something about calling Lia and Bob to bring me some clothes. I fell asleep listening to the whir of the machines and tick-tock of the clock overhead.

When I woke up Lia jumped up onto the bed squeezing between me and Gerard and kissed my cheek like a hundred times. "Aw Ellie! I was so worried about you." She practically sang out as she kissed me. She was wasted... Beyond wasted... Gerard groaned a little and got up.

"Okay Lia. Jesus Christ get off me!" I said pushing her off me. She got up and picked up a bag off the floor. She started pulling out my clothes from it.

"You ready to go home honey?" Bob says leaning over and kissing my forehead.

"Yeah." I say stretching a little.

" I see you have some visitors." I hear the Doctor Andrews voice call out.

"Can I go now?" I say roughly to him. The IV bag was empty. I felt good... Well strong enough to walk out at least.

He frowned a little. "Actually I think you should stay overnight." He says and I shake my head no.

"Why?" I yell a little.

"I'm not comfortable releasing you with out a family member present." He says looking down at me. "We were unable to reach your guardian on file- a Mr. P Waller." He says reading off his notepad.

"That was my grandpa and he's dead thank you very much." I say grabbing my jeans from Lia and sliding them on. "But I'm 18 years old, I can sign myself out okay." I say tugging on the IV. Ripping it right out of my arm. Gerard winced a little. I didn't care anymore.

"Actually no. Due to your cut there." He says pointing to my arm. "I have to right to hold you for observation unless a guardian can sign for you." He says smugly.

"I'll sign for her I'm her husband." Bob says loudly from across the room.

The doctor laughs a little. "Oh really." He says to Bob smirking a little. "You knows he's been here the last few hours" He says nodding towards Gerard. 'Holding her hand, playing the part... It would've been slightly more convincing if it came from him, but you..." He laughs a little.

"I want to sign my wife out." Bob says calmly. "Now if you cant do it, call security cause I'm leaving with her- one way or another." He tells the guy.

"Damn. You're always taking her side, Bob. I hear Lia say under her breath softly.

"Its okay Bob. I'll just stay." I say grabbing his arm a little. "Don't make any trouble, please."

"No we're leaving." He says firmly. I look over at Gerard. He shrugs a little.

"Okay if you are her husband." Doctor Andrews smirks. "I'm sure you have some kinda proof."

"Actually I do." Bob says reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. He pulls out a folded up piece of paper. I recognized it instantly.

"You carry that around!" I shriek.

"Mm-hmm." He says handing it to Doc Andrews. He looks at it and frowns.

"What is it Elle?" Gerard says wrapping his arms around me.

"Our marriage license." I laugh as Gerard kisses me.

"Fine." The doctor scowls. "Ill send in the nurse with the release forms" He says turning and walking out, quite angrily too.

"You carry that around in your wallet!" Lia hisses smacking Bobs arm.

"Hey, you never know when its gonna come in handy!" He laughs looking over and winking at me...


Ah fucking Bob!


I think I love him too...