FicWad

He said he'd be there as soon as he could that I should just calm down. I wiped the tears from my eyes and took a deep breath and told him just to try to hurry. As I hung up the phone and spun around Gerard was coming back towards the front doors. He was alone... I wonder where Jessica went? Fucking bitch...I smirked a little as he came up the walkway. It was starting to rain. Just a few drops here and there.

Fuck... How could I be so stupid? Paul was right. Gerard was just using me. He thought I was an easy fuck and truth be told I was. And now that he got what he wanted-he's done with me...Fuck. Maybe that's all I'm good for...

"So are we done?" He says as he comes towards me shoving his hands in his coat pockets.

"Done?!" I half laugh half yell.

"Done." He repeats. "You know done with your little hissy fit you were throwing when you ran off Elle." He says looking down at me.

"We are so done Gerard you don't even know." I said waving my hand in the air. The rain was picking up a little now.

"What's that suppose to mean?" He says loudly back taking his hands from his pockets. "You fucking run off-"

I cut him off. "I run off?" I laugh sarcastically. "You're a motherfucker you know that." I say loudly and he just looked at me. "I don't know why I'm so surprised either! I mean its not like you ever promised anything to me... we never said we were going out...never said we were anything." I carried on.

"Elle what the fuck?" He says stepping towards me.

"No! Don't come near me!" I say loudly taking a step back. Some people walking by looked over at us, they paused and then kept walking quickly. The rain was starting to fall harder now. They hurried to get inside... We just stood there...

"Elle." He said with an even voice. Like nothing was wrong. Like I was going nuts and he was trying to keep me calm.

"Don't look at me like that." I spat at him and he frowned. "I heard you...I fucking heard you." I say and he looks at me blankly.

"Heard what?!" He laughs a little making a face at me.

"You and Jessica." I snap, and his face dropped a little. He went to say something but I wouldn't let him. "Don't Gerard. You don't need to explain. I heard you-" I say holding my hand up in his face and he just stood there looking at me. Not saying anything... He was waiting for me to go on...I couldn't... It was too hard. The rain was picking up now. I was getting wet. I didn't care... Neither did he...

"Yeah and?" He scowls at me a little. "You gonna give me shit about this again Elle" He says loudly. An elderly couple walks by us huddled together under an umbrella and as they pass he stopped talking and looked off into the distance pressing his lips together tightly. He didn't speak till they were a few feet away. And when he did he kept his voice low. "I told you Elle I'm not just gonna stand by and watch him hurt her." He said harshly to me.

"So then go Gerard." I yell a little. "Go to her. Fucking go." I say and he just stands there.

"Don't do this Elle." He says a little softer shaking his head a little at me.

"I'm not doing anything!" I screech at him. "You!... You're doing this." I say looking over his shoulder at a car pulling into the lot...It wasn't him. Fuck where is he already?

"You really don't give a fuck about anybody else do you?" He says stepping towards me again.

"How could you say that to me?" I say holding back my tears. I wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction of watching me cry.

"Cause you're getting pissed that I don't want to see her get hurt!" He tells me and I just shook my head in disgust at him. "You're pissed cause I care for someone who's not you! Everything's gotta be about you. The center of attention right? You just can't stand it being about someone else. Fuck my grandma, fuck Jessica. Fuck everyone as long as I'm focused on you right?!" He carries on.

"You're a bastard." I said stepping back again. I was a little bit closer to the street now.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He yells at me. The few people that were left outside standing under the awning looked over at us. He didn't care... neither did I...

"My problem?" I laugh. "No no...Its not a problem Gerard." I say shaking my head a little as I saw his car approaching the lot. "I heard you tell her you loved her." I said as I stepped into the street.

"Elle." He said reaching for me. I stepped back and looked down at the ground. "Please baby." He said softly and I looked up into his eyes, they were pleading me. It caught me off guard. He looked sincere...I wanted to pull him into my arms. I wanted to hear him tell me it was all gonna be okay...That he loved me. But I knew his words wouldn't be real. He loved her and this was just some kinda a game to him. To get back at Paul maybe? I don't know. I don't care. No... I wont be used. Not ever again...

"No Gerard." I said taking another step back..."Fuck, Paul was right ya know... you still love her. I get it. I was just an easy fuck to you. I bet I was a real wet dream come true for you huh? And this-" I say gesturing in the air between us. "This was fun. But it's over." I say and he reached for my arm. I pulled back. "Give me my keys Gerard." I say plainly holding out my hand as his car pulled up in front. Just in time too...

"No." Gerard said firmly, folding his arms. He wasn't gonna let me leave. Not like this...

"You know what? You could fucking keep em" I tell him and he just looked at me. "I gotta go my rides here." I said turning my back to him and getting into the waiting car as the rain poured down... Gerard called my name, he told me to stop, He asked me to wait, but I ignored him.

I climbed into the car and pulled my knees up to my chest and leant my head forward and began to cry.
I couldn't help myself. It just hurt so much. He reached over and put his hand on my leg and looked over out the window at Gerard still standing in the rain.

"What happened Elle?" He says softly. I wouldn't look up. I couldn't...

"Can we please just go." I said. He hesitated for a moment and then we pulled away...


We drove in silence for a while. I managed to pull myself together and stopped crying. He lit a cigarette and handed it to me.

"Thanks Jay." I said taking it from him. He nodded.

"You alright hun?" He said looking over at me. I shook my head a little.

"I'm sorry for making you come all the way out here." I say and he shrugged a little. "I just didn't know who else to call"

I tell him. I couldn't call Bob or Ray, they were his friends. Not mine. I would've called Lia but I don't know Crystals number. Not by heart at least.

"Its no problem." Jay tells me glancing over at me. "He like your boyfriend or sumthin?" He says.

I laugh. "Ha! Him?! Not anymore." I say and Jay smiled a little at me as he drove. I flipped the visor down and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. My eye make up had smeared. I tried to fix it a little. I think I was actually making it worse though...My eyes were red too. Fuck that was nothing new. Except the were red from crying not from...

"Here this 'ill make you feel better." Jay says his voice interrupting my thoughts. He reached into the armrest and pulls out a small vile and hands it to me. "Just one." He says as I open it. They were little pink pills. I'd never seen anything like them before.

"What um.." I start to say and Jay smiles a little.

"Damn he must've really fucked you over bad if you're asking what it is!" He laughed a little.

"Something like that." I said popping one into my mouth. It started to dissolve instantly. Tasted a little bitter too. It was weird. Jay looked over at me again. "What?" I asked him.

"Something different about you." He says glancing at me again. He was stoned. Fuck he was always stoned.

"I'm soaking wet Jay." I say and he looks over at me like he doesn't believe it. Damn he was fucked up. "You know from the rain." I say motioning towards the window.

"Aaah. Maybe that's it." He says shrugging a little. "so um you wanna go back to my place and change out of those wet clothes?" He says suggestively to me.

I laugh. "I don't have anything to change into Jay."

"Well if I remember you look pretty good in my sheets hun." He says and I smile.

"You know that's what I love about you Jay." I say and he looks at me funny out of the corner of his eye. "You don't fuck around...you don't play games. Pretending like you want something more from me. I respect that you know?" I tell him flicking the cigarette but out the window and he smirks.

"So is that a yes or a no?" He says and I smile.

"I seriously have to go home and get some dry clothes." I say looking out the window. The rain was stopping now.

"Whatever you want hun." He says making a turn and heading towards my house. It was silent for a while. What ever this was I took was starting to kick in. I could feel myself spacing out a little.

"Aw fuck. I don't have my keys!" I cry out suddenly remembering. Jay looked over at me. I think I startled him a little.

"Gerard's got them still and I don't have a spare!" I whimper.

"Not gonna be a problem." Jay says pulling into my driveway. We get out and he opens his trunk and pulls out a screwdriver and a giant metal file thing. In less than a minute he managed to pop my front door lock open.
"I don't know if I should be impressed or scared to death Jay!" I tease as we walk in.

"You need a better lock Elle." He tells me shutting the door behind us. "This is shit." He says laughing at it as he jiggled the handle.

"Yeah yeah. Wait here" I say running down the hall towards my room to change. There was still clothes strewn about from this morning... Fuck this morning. How did things go so bad so fast?

Just stop thinking about it Elle. Its over. He's with Jessica now. Just deal with it... I grabbed a clean shirt and pants and changed into them quickly.

As I came back into the living room Jay smiled. "You got alotta nice shit Elle." He says picking up a silver frame from the table and examining it.

"Hey don't get any ideas." I kinda tease him taking it from him and putting it back down. I say kinda tease him cause he's a fucking criminal. I don't need him snooping around...

"So can we go or do you wanna stay here..." He said reaching over and grabbing the waistband on my jeans. He pulled me near him and went to kiss me and I pulled back.

All I could think of was Gerard. Why do I feel like I'm betraying him? He doesn't want you Elle. Just get over it... 'He doesn't want you....'

"Sure I do." Jay said reaching up and stroking my hair.

"What?" I said a little confused.

"I do want you." He said pulling me close and he started kissing my neck. It just felt so wrong. I squeezed my eyes shut as he slid his hand up my shirt. He ran it along my bra rubbing my breasts. I felt sick.

"Jay wait.,." I said pushing him back. "I don't think I can do this." I said feeling like the walls were closing in on me. Everything in the room reminded me of Gerard. Just a few hours ago we were here... together... and now... now... fuck. Jay pulled back a little disgusted from me. "Its not that I don't want you..." I said and Jay reached for me again. "Just no. not... not here." I say and he shrugged.

"We can back to my place then hun...I promise I can kiss all your problems away." He says kissing my neck again. He slid his hand down my back and smacked my ass. I flinched a little."So what do you say?" He says to me.

"All right." I nod. I just wanted to leave. I wanted something to help me forget...Maybe a night with Jay was what I needed... I shut out all the lights and locked the door before we left. I don't know why I locked it- seeing how easy he popped it open, but whatever.

I asked him if we could stop by Crystals first since Lia had my spare key. He said he didn't care. He was friends with Crystal. Well not really with Crystal so much, more with her cousin Brian but whatever. He knew where she lived.
When we go there Crystal opened the door. She looked surprised to see me. At least I think she did. That pill I took before still had me kinda spacey. She let us in and said Lia was napping on the couch. No fucking surprise there.
Lia saw us come in and sat up quickly. She looked surprised too. Maybe cause Jays got his hand on my ass? I dunno.

"Hey Jay... Elle..." She said pausing a little. "Come sit with me Elle." Lia says patting the couch next to her with out taking her eyes from Jay. Just as I sit Brian comes in. He and Jay started talking and then they disappeared back outside.

"How ya feeling Li?" I asked looking over at her. She was still kinda bruised too.

"No no no!" She laughed."Dont think you're gonna just gonna sit here and not say what the fuck you're doing with him?!" She kinda yells as Crystal sat down in the chair across from us.

"Nothing." I say plainly.

"Does Gerard know you're with him?" She says and I bite my lip.

"Yeah, you know what he does." I say getting a little angry remembering.

"And?!" She screeches.

"And he doesn't give a fuck." I say loudly.

"Since when?" Lia laughs.

"Since we broke up Li." I say and Lia's face dropped. I went on to tell her what happened. She reached her arms out and hugged me as talked. I pressed my face into her neck and sniffled a little. I was trying so hard not to cry.

"Elle, its okay." Lia said stroking my hair as she embraced me. "You guys will work it out." she says and I pull back a little. She reaches over and wipes the tears in my eyes. Crystal frowns a little. Fuck. I pull away and stand up.

"There's nothing to work out Lia." I said grabbing the cigarette box off the table and stealing one from it. "He said he loved her. I heard him." I say tossing the box back down.

"So fucking what!" Crystal says loudly and I look over at her a little shocked. She hadn't said anything since I got here.

"What?" I gasp a little trying to light the cigarette up.

"If you love him then I say screw the little bitch." Crystal says and Lia smiles. Now I see why Lia likes her. They're so fucking similar. "So he loves her. From what I hear." She says looking over at Lia. "He loves you too and you love him back right?" She says and I shrug.

"So fuck her." Crystal says. "Don't fucking let him go that easy." She tells me nodding a little.

"She's right. Don't give up Elle." Lia says and I make a face.

"What the fuck am I suppose to do. Force him to love me back?" I say frowning.

"No you just need to get his attention back." Crystal says. All of a sudden Lia gets a weird look on her face.

"Oh god Lia no." I say as a smile crept across her face.

"Don't worry Elle." Lia says standing up and grabbing my hand. "I've got a plan......"