FicWad

I woke up Monday morning to a strange sounding alarm clock. I opened one eye and looked around. I forgot where I was for a second. Bob shifted a little and reached over and flipped it off. I looked down. I was lying on top of him. Soooo not my fault.

I happen to be a clingy sleeper. I can't help it. I apologized and tried to explain that to him as I climbed off of him and got out of the bed. He said it was no big deal but I can't imagine he got much sleep...

Fuck. I didn't get that much sleep either. When we got 'home' it was almost 3 am. It was a little after 7 now. I was so fucking exhausted. I just wanted to crawl back into bed with him. I stretched my arms over my head and leant my neck forward a little. As I stretched my neck I looked down and saw I was still wearing just my fucking little girl underwear and that tube top Lia gave me. And I have nothing to change into. Like nothing... fuck... I look over and Bob is looking up at the ceiling scratching his head obviously thinking the same thing.

"Shit I should've brought you home last night." He says looking over at the clock radio checking the time.

"I wouldn't have been able to get in anyway." I frown looking down at myself. The body glitter Lia rubbed on my chest and shoulders was still there. I reached up and touched my hair and one of the blonde extension clips she put in came out. It was covered in glitter too. I frowned and started unclipping the crap Lia had put in my hair and tossing it onto Bob's dresser. "Can I take a quick shower before we leave Bob?" I say when I was finished and he looks up at me. Well he was actually he was just standing there watching me the whole time, he must've been spacing out or something cause all of a sudden he snaps out of it.

"Uh yeah, I'll try to find something that'll fit ya Elle." He says and points me in the direction of his bathroom.

I take off my 'clothes' if that's what you'd call em and got into the shower. I washed my hair and I think I got most of the glitter from it. But the fucking glitter on my collarbone and shoulders wouldn't come off. No matter how hard I scrubbed. And Lia drew a heart on my shoulder blade in glitter and glued these rhinestones on it. I couldn't get that off either. I could hardly reach it on my back.

I know it's supposed to be body make up but come on. This was ridiculous. I mean I slept all night and it didn't wear off?? She had drawn a couple of little silver stars around my eyes. Kinda on my cheekbones too. I kept peeking out and checking in the mirror. They wouldn't come off. It faded a little but wouldn't totally come off. This was fucking bullshit. Lia puts this makeup on all the time. She always gets it off to. Never has a problem. Am I that fucking stupid? What am I doing wrong? I wrapped a towel around me and peeked my head out. I called for Bob.

"Jesus Christ Elle." He yells coming down the hall towards me. "Were gonna be fucking late- you've been in there for twenty minutes." He snaps at me and I start to cry.

I couldn't help it. Sometimes I just get emotional like that. I guess everything just hit me at once. I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to see Gerard. I can't face him and fuck.. Jessica... What if they did get back together? I just can't...

"I cant get the glitter off Bob I tried." I sobbed and he just stood on the outside of the door.

Bobs expression softened. "Please don't cry." He says shaking his head a little. "I didn't mean to snap at you." He says and I shake my head a little.

"You gotta come in and help me." I say trying to open the door ,I kinda let my towel go as I reached out. He reached up and pulled it back and shut it almost all the way.

"Whoa whoa." He says shutting his eyes.

"Bob come on." I pleaded.

"Get dressed and I'll try to help you." He says hesitantly cursing a little under his breath.

"Okay" I sniffle as he shuts the door all the way. I put back on my 'clothes'. I mean that was all I had. I don't know what the fuck he thought I was gonna wear cause when I opened the door he shook his head a little.

He took the washcloth from the shower and wet it and started rubbing it on my cheek. Hard too. He was frowning. He put some more soap on it and nothing.

"Its not coming off is it?" I said starting to cry again.

"Please don't cry Elle." He says and I sniffle a little and hold my breath. He made a face at me and then spun me around and started scrubbing at the heart on my shoulder.

"Frankie's on his way over." He says and my eyes widen a little.

"Why?" I say loudly.

"He wants a ride to school." Bob chuckles a little. Well that makes sense. Gerard doesn't have a car and Frankie hates taking the bus, so he would walk 10 blocks out of the way to get a ride.

"Fuck Bob you gotta hurry. I don't want Frankie to see me like this!" I cry out and Bob stops scrubbing me frowning a little.

"I think you need more water." He shrugged.

"Here." I said reaching over and turning on the shower. I stepped under it.

"Elle!- you're gonna get you clothes wet!" Bob yells as the water falls on me.

"Bob!" I say mimicking him. "These hardly count as clothes." I laugh and so does he. "You found me something to wear right?" I say and he smiled a little. "Bob?" I repeat.

"Yeah I think so." He says and I spun around.

"Well then come on." I say leaning my neck forward a little, letting the water run down my back.

Bob took his shirt off so it wouldn't get soaked and reached in and started scrubbing my back. I thought I heard a noise. I look over and Bobs moms cat had walked it. It was hissing at the water. I was in the shower in my top and underwear. The curtain was wide open and Bob was reaching in trying to help me wash the glitter off. The water was bouncing off me. Some was hitting the floor. Apparently cats don't like to be splashed? I don't know I'm not an animal person. If the cat had a problem with what we were doing it shouldn't have come it. Simple as that.

"Fuck." He mumbled shooing the cat out. He slammed the door shut.

"Come on Bob you got to finish before Frankie gets here." I say and there was a hollow thud on the door.

"Just the cat again." Bob says as he started scrubbing my back again.

"Is it hot enough?" I say reaching for the hot water dial.

"Yeah its good. I think I got it now. " He says rubbing harder. I winced a little. "Am I hurting you? Cause I'll stop" He says pausing a moment.

"No don't stop." I say and he starts scrubbing again. But not as hard. "Harder Bob!" I yell and I hear another thud. A little louder this time.  Bob ignored it so I did too.

"Turn around Elle." He says so I do. I lean my neck back and he starts scrubbing my collar bone.

"Is this good?" Bob says.

"Yeah." I sigh biting my lip a little. It felt like he was scrubbing me so hard I was gonna start bleeding...

"I almost got it." Bob says

'Well don't stop...you're almost done." I laugh. He nods a little.

"No you're done." He says softly. I look down. He got most of it off. I step out of the shower leaving the water running and reach for the towel again as Bob reaches to shut the water off.

"Just in time too!" I tease reaching for the doorknob. "Could you imagine if Frankie heard that?" I laughed opening the door.

Frankie was standing there with a big grin on his face. "Yeah...imagine that..."

It took me like 10 minutes to convince Frankie that Bob and I weren't having sex in the shower. And another five minutes to convince him to give me his jeans. I mean I tried Bobs jeans on. They were way to big. Frankie's on the other hand looked to be much more my size.

And its not really a big deal for a guy to wear baggy pants right? I mean even with a belt Bobs pants hung a little low on Frankie but he had his boxer shorts on (luckily). I told him he was making a fashion statement. He still didn't understand how I ended up at Bobs house with no clothes. Mostly cause I kept changing the subject every time he brought it up. But anyway Bob put my underwear in the dryer for a few minutes before we left and um I ended up in Bobs shirt. Frankie's black jeans, Lias tube top as a bra, and my own underwear. Thank god!  At the least the underwear were my own. Sometimes I don't know how I get into these situations...

"So how's um Mikey getting to school?" I say cautiously to Frankie on the way there. He shrugged and looked out the window. I looked over at Bob.

"Should we go by and get him?" Bob says and Frankie shakes his head no.

"So Gerard is bringing him?" I say biting my lip a little.

"I don't think Gee came home last night." Frankie says plainly. Fuck... I felt a pain go right through my chest. He wasn't with me... That means he was out all night with...Jessica

Bob shook his head a little he knew what I was thinking and he disagreed. I just shrugged. It is what is it is. I can't make him want me. I'm not gonna fight for him like Crystal said. Love shouldn't be a fight. It should just be...
We get to school and I don't even bother going to my locker. I mean what for. I couldn't face him. I did this. It was all so clear.

Things were perfect and I ruined it. Drove him into her arms. I over reacted when I heard him say he loved her. Seeing Lia and Bob... that was clear...I understood it now. But running off with Jay of all people... That had to hurt him... and then Lia calling and telling him that I'm gonna strip. Fuck that had to be the final straw. I wonder what exactly she told him... Doesn't matter. He didn't go home last night...He didn't come looking for me... He was with her... Just suck it up Elle.

I made my way into the home ec room. By some miracle Paul was not there. Looks like he's absent today... either that or he's really late. Either way I don't care... Maybe today won't be so bad...

I put on a fake smile and tried to follow today's recipe card. I don't know if Mrs. Grady realized I couldn't cook and was trying to cut me some slack or what cause every one else was making pretty complicated things. Today's theme was healthy breakfasts. Table one was making muffins. Table two was making an omelet. I couldn't see what table four or five were doing- but table three, that's me and Paul, (who's still M.I.A. thank god) table three was suppose to make oatmeal.

I read the 'recipe' card like six times and was still confused by the measurements. I raised my hand. Mrs. Grady came over giving me that apathetic look she always did.

"I don't understand how much to put in." I say and she frowns. I had boiled the water and I had the bowl out just like the card said. I had the packet of instant oatmeal on the counter. And a wooden spoon. Exactly like the card said.

So why is she frowning at me?  "So my problem is how do I know how many ounces are in the pot? Pots don't have marks on the side? Should I have measured the water first?" I ask her and she sighs.

"Try not to think so much Elle." She says shaking her head a little. "Just put the oatmeal in the bowl and pour the water over it... You'll be able to tell when its wet enough." She says getting a little annoyed with me.

"Put the whole packet in the bowl?" I ask and she shakes her head. She turned quickly. I think she made a face at me. I know I'm not her favorite student but I am trying. It's not my fault I don't have a mother to teach me how to cook like fucking everyone else. I can feel myself getting upset. Just pull it together Elle...

I take a deep breath and do what she told me. I put the packet in the bowl and pour the boiling water over it. It just didn't make any sense, but that's what she said and she's the teacher so...

"no no no!" She cries out sliding the bowl over towards her. She sticks the spoon in and fishes out the wet oatmeal packet out. "You need to open it! And pour the oatmeal into the bowl first!" She says shaking her head at me.

"You said to just pour the water on it Mrs. Grady" I say as she frowns at me. "I asked you if I should put the whole packet in and you said yeah." I say and she doesn't answer me.

"Why don't you go and observe table one Elle." She says taking the spoon from me a little dismayed too. "Observe means 'don't touch anything'." She calls out as I walk away.

Like I fucking need this shit. Damn you cant do anything right can you Elle? I was disgusted with myself when the bell rang I grabbed my purse and walked out the door. I didn't have my book bag since I hadn't been home. I didn't have any books either since I didn't go to my locker. Not like it mattered. No one seemed to expect much from me anyway. I was a fuck up. Everyone knew it... I made my way out the door quickly with out looking up. I didn't even see Gerard standing there until he reached over and grabbed my arm startling me.

"Elle we need to talk." He says and I pull my arm from his.

"Its all right I know what you're gonna say" I say turning and starting to walk towards the cafeteria. Fuck I don't know how I'm gonna be able to sit in study hall with him... and her...

"No you don't know what I'm gonna say." He says leaning over and whispering loudly to me.

"I'm a murderer." I say as we walk in. Instead of going over to our usual table I went towards the payphones and leant against the wall. I didn't want to sit. I figured I see where 'they' sat and then sit as far away as I could...

Gerard followed me over. I was surprised. "You're a what?" He laughs.

"A murderer." I sigh sniffling a little. I didn't want to cry but being so close to him was hard... "I murdered our love Gerard." I say and he smiled a little. "Now all that's left is to sit back and watch it die," I say leaning back on the wall and sliding down it so I was sitting on the floor. Gerard knelt down in front of me.

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?" He laughs softly and reaches up and touches my cheek.

"Don't make this harder than it is." I say shutting my eyes.

"Open your eyes Elle." He says and I shake my head no. "Elle." He repeats.

"Not until you're gone." I say and I hear him laugh.

"Well how will you know if I'm gone unless you open your eyes?" He says and I try not to smile.

"I can smell you." I say and I hear him laugh again.

"Elle." He says again. I shake my head no. "All right." He sighs. "Then tell me this- which one of my motherfucking friends have you been sleeping with?" He says and I almost open my eyes to tell him that's not true but I stop myself just in time. "You're wearing Frankie's pants and Bobs shirt so which one are you fucking Elle? I know you were with one of them last night cause you never came home." He says and I open my eyes and look at him.

"How do you know that?" I ask.

"I waited for you. All night." He says softly. I look up over his shoulder. Jessica had come in she was sitting with Dave. Actually she was sitting on Dave...on his lap that is... Gerard wasn't back together with her...

"You waited for me?" I said and he nodded.

"I wasn't fucking either of them." I say and Gerard smiled.

"I know Elle I just wanted you to open your eyes." He says sitting down next to me. Normally I would've gotten up off the floor by now. Hell normally I wouldn't have sat on the floor but these were Frankie's pants not mine... "So..." Gerard said reaching out and taking my hand in his.

"So I stayed at Bobs last night." I say and he doesn't say anything. "I didn't fuck him, no matter what Frankie says! I didn't... you can even ask his cat!" I say getting a little worked up. Gerard gave me a funny look.

"Ask his cat?" He chuckled. "Elle are you..." He paused and looked over into my eyes. I just stared at him right back.

"Well do I pass?" I say and he smiled and leant forward and kissed the tip of my nose. "Are we good now?" I say as he stands up. He reaches over and lifts me up too.

"You tell me Elle." He says and just looked at him. "You can't run off like that anymore." He says and I look down. "If something's wrong we'll fix it...you understand?" He says and I nod. "You gotta promise me that you'll stop doing that." He says and I shake my head.

"I've never done that before." I say and he frowns.

"You do it all the time Elle." He tells me and I look at him a little confused. "Every time you close your eyes you disappear from me." He says and I look down. I almost shut my eyes too. He lifted my chin up. "Stay with me okay." He says and I nod.

"So we're good now?" I say and he leans over and kisses me. I had never felt so right. Being in his arms... It was just right.

"Unless theres something else Elle?" He says and I shake my head no. I couldnt think of anything... Except him. Holding him. Touching him. Im never gonna let him go...

It wasn't until study hall was over that I realized he didn't know what happened last night...I mean he saw me leave with Jay. I don't think he realized how close I was to spending the night with him... Fuck.. We'll its better he doesn't know. Jay's certainly not gonna tell him. He was too fucked up. He probably doesn't even remember anyway...

Good thing we left my house before Gerard got there...

Fuck... if he was at my house then he didn't know I was at the club with Lia... That's why he didn't show up... But Lia said she called him... Could she have been so stupid as to leave a message at his house?. Argh! What am I saying its Lia! Of course she left a message...crap... this is gonna come back and bite me in the ass I can just feel it...