FicWad

His words echoed through my head. No... it couldn't be...How could it be? That means... I stepped back from the sink a little disoriented. I heard Rays voice but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I felt my knees going weak and giving out from underneath me as everything went dark. I faintly heard Gerard calling my name and I saw him reach for me, but I don't think he grabbed me in time cause the last thing I heard was the soft thud as I fell to the floor...

I wasn't even out that long. At least I don't think I was. I woke up lying on my couch in the living room. Gerard was shaking me frantically. I open my eyes a little but he just kept shaking me. I blinked a few times and tried to focus my eyes on him.

"Stop shaking me." I mumbled pushing his hands off me.

"Hey." He said exhaling softly as I sat upright. He brushed the hair from my face and ran his hand along my cheek as I tried to focus my eyes still... What time is it? How long was I out? Why the fuck does my head hurt so much?

"Elle?" Gerard called my name as I strained my eyes trying to read the clock on the vcr across the room. "Elle, look at me." He said turning my face back towards him. "Look at me babe." He repeats looking into my eyes squinting a little. "This is important here, I need you to focus." He says as I rub my eyes and nod a little.

"Did you eat anything at all today? Anything from your kitchen?" He says and I shut my eyes a little thinking. The throbbing in my head was unbearable... "Elle stay with me here." He says and I open my eyes back up and shake my head no. That only made my head hurt more. Fuck... "No? Nothing?" He says and then he looks back over at Ray, who was standing a few feet away.

"Fuck my head hurts so bad." I wince a little rubbing my temples a little.

"Well you did hit it pretty hard when you fell." Ray says as he sits down on the couch next to me.

"When I fell?" I say a little confused looking over at him.

"You don't remember?" Gerard said raising his voice slightly.

"No I do...I...." I shook my head a little and went to get up. I remembered. I remembered everything. I wish I didn't...Fuck. I have to get out of here. Gerard kinda reached over and pushed me back down on to the couch. He was kneeling in front of me still.

"I want you to sit there for a minute." He said and I sighed. "Don't argue Elle. Just sit." He tells me firmly.

"I just passed out. I'm okay now." I argue and Gerard frowned a little. "Come on Gerard don't make a big deal about this." I say to him stretching my neck a little.

"Don't make a big deal?" He replies in disbelief. Yeah... Its not a big deal... Some one was in my house. In my fridge.

God knows where else...

"Yeah, let it go..." I sigh and he reaches over and puts his hands on my thighs squeezing them a little. "I'm fine. Every things fine... Now we gotta get going or we're gonna be late." I say trying to get up again, pretending like everything's normal. I didn't want to think. I don't want to admit that its not... He holds me down and looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Late?" He says to me.

"Yeah late... Late for school ya know? We have to get back right Ray?" I say and I look over at Ray.

"Elle are you sure you remember?" Ray says looking over at me. Now he was squinting too looking into my eyes.

"Yes Ray. I just bumped my head. I have a headache not amnesia." I laugh a little.

"And you're not worried?" Ray says quizzically

"No I'm sure it was just an accident." I say looking over at Ray. "Don't you think? I ask him. He diverted his eyes away a little and tapped his fingers on his leg and didn't answer me.

"An accident?" Gerard scoffs at me.

"Well yeah Gerard." I reply plainly. I knew it sounded stupid. But I was unable to admit that it was intentional. If it was intentional that means that...fuck. I started to freak out a little. "Come on now I don't want to be late."  I tried to get up and Gerard pushed me back down. A little hard too.

"An accident?" He repeats louder. "How could you fucking think that that could be an accident!" He tells me getting upset. My eyes start welling up with tears. "Don't be fucking stupid." He snaps at me. I didn't answer him. I just sat there trying not to cry. "After what just fucking happened you're-" Gerard started to yell. I couldn't blame him. There was so much tension in the air. And I refused to acknowledge what just happened. I didn't want to. I couldn't... I just wanted to pretend like it never happened...

"All right leave her alone." Ray interrupted him as he jumped up off the couch. "Let me talk to you for a minute man." Ray says grabbing Gerard arm. He nodded towards the kitchen and Gerard stood up. I looked down at my shoes as they went into the kitchen. I couldn't quite hear what they were saying. Sounded like Ray was telling him to take it easy. Not to push me. I couldn't really hear... I shut my eyes and rubbed the sides of my head. My head was still throbbing a little. I got up and got my coat and was putting it on when they came back in.

"So can we go?" I say and Gerard nods a little. We didn't speak the whole way down the block. He was pretty focused on his thoughts. I babbled the whole way there to Ray about what he thought was gonna be on the social studies test on Friday. I didn't want to think about what just happened. Let alone talk about it... I was in denial...

I knew it. Ray knew it. And Gerard knew it...We were almost at the gate when Gerard stopped walking.

"We're going to the police station after school." He says bluntly. I turned and looked at him and shook my head no. "Its wasn't a question Elle." He says flicking his cigarette to the ground.

"Why?" I say stepping towards him.

"Why?" He repeats back putting his hands on my shoulders. He slid his hands up and grabbed my face and pulled it towards his. "Cause someone's trying to kill you." He says and I can fell myself starting to go faint again. "If anything ever happened to you..." He said softly looking in to my eyes.

"Gerard no ones trying to kill me." I said pulling away from him. "You're just being dramatic." 

"Elle!" he yells at me a little frustrated.

"Gerard." Ray says shaking his head a little at him. Gerard took a breath before continuing.

"Baby..." He starts again softy. He takes my hand in his. "Did you not see what happened before? The fucking flowers? The milk?" He says and I look down. "If you drank that, you could've..."

"I wouldn't have died." I argue interrupting him. He took another deep breath biting his tongue a little. "I mean I probably would've gotten hurt, but not die." I say nodding a little to Ray. "Right?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"Yeah but the whole point is someone wanted to hurt you." Ray tells me softly as we walk into the school.

"No that doesn't make any sense." I say looking at them both. "Why would some one send me flowers and take in the trash and then try to hurt me?" I say shaking my head a little. "Those other things were nice" I say and Gerard looks at me in disbelief. "I mean they were creepy but nice...if it is..." I lower my voice a little. "who you think it is... and he's obsessing over me why would he want to hurt me if he likes me?" I say and Gerard grabs my arm.

"Cause he's a fucking sicko. Of course its not gonna make sense." Gerard tried to explain to me.

"Yeah but Gerard... Why? Why hurt me now?" I say as we head down the hall.

"I don't know, maybe he was pissed cause you threw away his flowers." Gerard sighs a little.

"I'll uh catch you guys later." Ray says waving by and turning down the opposite hall leaving me and Gerard alone outside my English class room.

"No that's not right cause after I threw them out he put them back and then after I threw them out again- he brought in the trashcans. If he was pissed he wouldn't have done that." I say wrinkling my eyebrows a little.

"Elle... you're looking for logic where there isn't any." Gerard sighs. "Someone wanted you to drink that, for whatever reason... They did that to hurt you." He says and I shake my head no.

"Gerard no... that's not...oh my god!" I exclaim covering my mouth.

"What is it?" He says getting concerned again.

"Gerard that was fucking Lias milk... not mine." I say and he just looked at me. "They wanted Lia to drink it, not me." I say and his face dropped a little. "I would've never drank Lias milk. Its only cause Ray poured it for me that I almost drank it... And it was clearly marked as hers.. fuck maybe the flowers were for her too! I mean she didnt dance that night. Maybe they were for her." I say and Gerard got a strange look on his face like he was worried that I might be right.. "I have to call her. Make sure she's okay" I say panicking stepping forward a little.

"Oh no. you're gonna stay right here." He says pushing me back a little. "I'll call her Elle, don't worry." He says squeezing my arm a little.

"No If someone was trying to hurt her I have to warn her.. Ive got to go call her." I insist and he pushes me back a little more into the classroom.

"Elle I want you to stay here, in class okay. I'm still not sure what's going on, but someone sure as hell was in your house, fucking with either you or her and I'm not taking any chances." He says firmly and I frown. He still thinks the flowers were from Mr S. Why would Mr S want to hurt Lia? Or me for that matter?

"Gerard." I whine.

"No Elle. I'll go down to the cafeteria. I'll call her and Crystal and I'll make sure they're both okay all right?" He says and I sigh a little. "I wanted to talk to Brian anyway..." He adds.

"For what?" I ask and he doesn't anwer.

"I'll meet you back here. Right here Elle." He says pointing at the floor. "After class." He says and I nod a little. There was no point in arguing with him. "I'll bring you something to eat from the cafeteria to eat too okay?" He says kissing my cheek lightly. "You don't leave this classroom with out me you understand?" He says as the bell rang.

"Yes Gerard." I sigh.
 
"Let me handle this okay." He says and I nod and he kisses my cheek again before leaving. I went and sat down in my chair and sighed again.

Fuck. I love him so much. But why does he have to be like that? /He's gonna handle it.../  Fuck.. I hate when people try to protect me. They think they're helping. Shielding me from things but they're not... My mom did that to me... Not telling me who my dad was... I know she thought she was protecting me. If what Mr S said is true then he's a bad man. Fuck even if what he said was not true he's probably still a bad man.

I must've read my moms letter a hundred times over by now. She never said who he was. Just that she was sorry about how things happened with him. That my papa would've explained it to me by now and she just wanted me to know she was sorry... Explain what? I don't know...My papa lost alot after he had that stroke. Was he suppose to tell me something?  fuck... Now I'll never know...I can feel myself freaking out... pull it together Elle.

I look up at the front of the room there was some substitute today. She was a real old woman with big glasses. Which was good cause I wasn't listening. And I really wasn't in the mood for Ms. Leanords condescending stares either. I was so focused in my thoughts I didn't hear a word she was saying as she stood in front of the class...

The next thing I know Jeff is sliding his chair over towards my desk.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask him.

He looks over and smiles. "Were partners Elle. Didn't you hear the teacher?" He says sliding a little closer. He reaches over and puts his hand on my thigh casually. I look around and everyone was partnering off. Fuck. I was stuck with Jeff.

"And did she say to put your hand on my leg too?" I say lifting his hand off me. He smiled a little. Fucking asshole.

The sub approached and dropped a paper on my desk. She was handing something out. I guess it was the assignment. I looked it over and handed it to Jeff as Dave approached the old woman who still standing in front of my desk for some reason.

"Uh I don't have a partner." Dave tells her. She adjusts her glasses and looks over the room. Apparently there's an odd number of kids in this class.
 
"You'll just have to make a group of three." She tells him and he just stood there looking at her. "Why don't you work with them." She says pointing over at me and Jeff.

"Us three?" I cry out.

Dave smiled a little and sat down across from me. "What's the matter Elle?" He laughs a little. "From what I hear you don't have a problem with threesomes." He says and Jeff snickers a little at his comment. What the fuck? Maybe Paul didn't hit him hard enough the last time.  I gave him a nasty look and he continued to smile.

"I can't work with them." I tell the sub lady roughly as I stood up.

"Why not dear?" she says softly. She seemed like a nice old lady. I didn't know what to say...

"He picks on me." I declare pointing at Dave.

"You're one to talk Elle." Dave smirked a little.

"Okay now." The sub said waving her hand at all of us. "You seem like a healthy sue" She says turning to me and I shake my head a little. What the fuck is she talking about? "I'm sure you can hold your own now sit." She says motioning for me to sit back down. "The groups have been made." She says loudly to the class. "You have 15 minutes to complete the assignment." She says and walks back towards her desk.

"Healthy sue?" I say laughing a little under my breath. "Did she say I look like a healthy sue?" I say to Jeff and he smiles. "What the fuck does that mean Jeff?" I ask him and he shrugs. I sink back into my chair a little causing my skirt to ride up a little. Jeff looks over at my legs and grins.

"I dont know but you sure look healthy from where I'm sitting." He kids with me.

"Jeff." I say harshly looking over at him.

Dave leans over and looks at my legs too. "You've been drinking your milk Elle?" Dave smirks a little.

"What?" I choke a little.What did he just say to me??

"I'm just saying... Milk does a body good." He says licking his lips a little at me. I must've turned a little pale cause Jeff looked at me out of the corner of his eye and then turns to Dave.

"Shut the fuck up man." Jeff tells him softly as the sub walks by.

"Naw I was just saying Elle." Dave grins a little leaning back in his chair. "From what I hear..." He whispers to me and he glances over at Jeff.

"Shut the fuck up." Jeff says louder giving him a nasty glare. Fuck. Jeff must've said something about me to Dave... I mean that's what it looked like...Could it be Jeff fucking with me. The flowers? The milk? I mean I did tell him off that day in the hall. He was pretty pissed at me... And he probably wouldnt have noticed the L on the side of the container... Fuck..If that's true and its Jeff. Pauls gonna kill him. Jeff was scared of Paul. That was for sure.  No... I looked over at him. No.It couldn't be Jeff. He's not that stupid... But Dave might be...

"No no I want to hear this." I say leaning forward a little. "What'd ya hear Dave?" I say looking over at Jeff quickly.

"Something you'd like to share?" I ask sweetly.

"Uh no." Dave says looking down as Jeff continued to glare at him. Dave reached over and took the sheet the sub gave me and started filling it out as Jeff and I looked on.

Maybe I should tell Paul what happened. Have him ask Jeff... Dave too..No.. Gerard said he'd handle this. If I go to Paul with this he's gonna think that I don't think I can count on him. I thought back to that day in the hotel room. How upset he was when he said he thought I went to Paul instead of him after...after... fuck... Brutus...

Oh. my. god... A wave of emotion hit me all at once... Brutus  picked me up in the street by my house... and then Lia said he was driving down our street looking for me that day she went to hang out with him... Oh fuck... what if  he found out where I lived...

What if he....