FicWad

“He was my papas attorney.” I say grabbing the paper back from Bob and looking it over in disbelief.

“That was the guy we went to go see? Reefer right?” Bob asks me and I nod half listening… I still couldn’t believe it. But there it was in black and white. Mr. Reefer was this Hunter guy’s attorney too… I mean that couldn’t be a coincidence. I know people say it’s a small world but give me a fucking break!

“I don’t…fuck…” I shook my head a little and looked over at Gerard. He just stared back at me. Great… I mean all week he's been bossing me around, telling me what to do and now… now that I need him to tell me what to do he's fucking silent. “Gerard.” I say loudly.

“What?” He replies and I roll my eyes.

“So what do we do now?” I say and he shifted his eyes a little around the room thinking I guess. I look over at Bob. He had the same blank look on his face as Gerard did… Great. Just fucking great… “I mean how do we find out how my papa knew this guy? -I mean it’s obvious they had to know each other right?” I ask them and neither one answers.

“Uh why don’t you just ask him?” Mikey says from across the room. We all turn and look over at him.

“Yeah we’ll just have a fucking séance bro!” Gerard laughs and then realizes how inappropriate it was and turns back to me quickly. “Aw sorry baby.” He tells me and I shrug. I mean normally that would’ve upset me. But I was just so preoccupied in my thoughts… It was like I wasn’t really all there… I kinda just shrugged it off as Mikey snickered a little.

“Uh not her grandfather Gerard.” Mikey says. “The other fucking dude.” He tells us and I roll my eyes.

“What the fuck Mikey!” I snap at him. “If the fucking cops cant find him then what makes you think we can?” I tell him harshly waving the paper in the air…I swear sometimes Mikey just pisses me off… I really didn’t mean to be so bitchy either, but I was seriously stressing out… And I'm starting to think that maybe ‘detective’ isn’t the best career path for Michael Way…

Mikey just laughed at my bitchiness… “Uh, no Elle -not Hunter, this other guy.” He says holding up my bank statements. “Mmm Walker.” He reads from it. “I mean we know exactly where he is- he's in cell 000647 at Sing Sing right?” Mikey says and I smile and run over towards Mikey excitedly jumping up and hugging him.

“Yes!” I cry out.

“NO!” Gerard yells from across the room.

“What?” I say glancing over at him as I continued to hug Mikey.

“No.” He repeats and Bob is shaking his head no too. “YOU are NOT going to Sing Sing.” Gerard tells me and I frown. “No Elle. I'm sorry, I wont allow it” He says and I cross my arms on my chest and look defiantly over at him.

“Allow?” I challenge him.

“I forbid it.” He says pointing his finger at me and I smile.

“Forbid?” I repeat back… Oh this was just too much.

“Yeah forbid, wont allow, prohibit, deny, restrict…” He starts carrying on and I smile.

“Fuck Gerard, I never knew you had such a big vocabulary.” I tell him and Mikey laughs.

“Elle.” Gerard tries not to smile too. “All I'm saying is that you can forget about it.” He says crossing his arms on his chest. “You're not going and that’s final.” He declares.


Uh yeah…. we’ll just see about that…

I just stared across the room at Gerard trying not to smile at him. I mean it was hard. He was standing there all authoritive like, with his arms crossed on his chest and his lips pressed together tightly…

It was just too cute. I mean did he really think that was gonna work? Him forbidding me?
“Gerard!” I began to say and he suddenly dropped his arms down and was looking over my shoulder. I glance over… It’s Jessica… of course…

“Are you ready?” She asks him and he nodded slightly.

“Ready?” I ask looking over at her outfit… He fucking gave her more of my clothes. I mean she's wearing my clothes. And not the clothes I gave him last night for her. Different clothes…

“Uh I was gonna bring Jessica home.” Gerard tells me and I just looked at him.

“Bring her home? I thought we were gonna go eat?” Mikey complains.

“Jessica didn’t want to come.” Gerard says and Jessica looked down at the floor as he spoke. “So I uh told her I’d drop her off at home.” Gerard explains. “But now… fuck!’ he says glancing over at the clock. “We’re not gonna have time to eat either.” He says scowling a little at the clock… Like it’s the clocks fault for ticking to fast or some shit.

“Why not- I'm hungry!” Mikey whines.

“What time do you have to be there Elle?” Gerard asks me ignoring Mikey.

“I don’t know like maybe 9?” I offer. I didn’t really give Jen a time. I said about an hour and she said okay. It was fucking a little after 8 now…

“All right I’ll go drop Jess off, you go get ready Elle, you pack your shit up and we’ll leave when I get back, maybe we can grab something on the way.” Gerard tells me and I smile… Looked like Mr. Bossy was back…

“The way to where?” Mikey asks curiously.

“Pauls.” I blurt out stupidly.

“What?” Jessica gasps.

“I'm babysitting his brothers.” I say and she makes a face at me and then looks over at Gerard. “Gerard's coming too.” I tell her and she frowns. Mikey snickered a little.

“You're going to Pauls.” Mikey tells him and Gerard shrugged.

“I don’t get it.” Jessica says.

“Get what Jessica?” I snap at her. I wasn’t in the mood for this.

“How could you… after- what he?” Jessica says looking up at Gerard a little pathetically, kinda ignoring me too no less.

“Well what happened Jessica?” I say and she looked over at me. “I mean really what happened last night- things didn’t go like you ‘planned’ or?” I say snidely and she glared at me.

“I don’t expect you to understand Elle.” She tells me and Gerard bit his lip a little. Mikey got up and went to put his cup in the sink. Bob was standing by the glass doors smoking a cigarette. “I mean you and Paul went out for a real long time.” She says and I can see Gerard tense up.

“So?” I tell her.

“So you guys loved each other.” She says and Gerard looks off into the distance a little.

“You don’t know anything about my relationship with Paul.” I snap at her with out thinking.

“He would never have done to you what he tried-“ Jessica swallowed nervously. “I mean you don’t know Elle, you don’t know what that feels like, he would’ve never done that to you.” She says and I just looked at her in disbelief…

“Done what Jessica?” I demand and she just looked at me. “I mean what he grabbed you? Called you a bitch? A tease cause you tell him you want it and then take it back?” I ask and she looked at me like how would I know that. “I fucking heard you guys.” I tell her and she looked over at Gerard. “I told him to go get you.” I say and she shakes her head a little.

“You don’t understand Elle.” She says and I roll my eyes. “You wouldn’t know what that feels like. I was really scared.” She says obviously trying to gain sympathy from Gerard. I wouldn’t know? I wouldn’t know what it feels like to be scared? Is that what she's saying to me?

“Scared?” I laugh. “You were scared of Paul?” I tell her and she frowns.

“Elle you don’t know what that feels like, to be scared.” Jessica tells me.

“Elle knows a lot more than you think-“ Gerard starts to say and I shoot him a nasty look like don’t you dare… Don’t you dare bring up what happened at Christmas time. I am not going to share that with her. There is no way in hell that’s gonna happen… Gerard stopped talking and just looked at me as I shook my head no.

“Look I know you think a lot of Paul Elle.” Jessica says and I shake my head no.

“You don’t know what I think.” I tell her and she makes a face.

“No I do…that’s why you’ll never understand this.” She tells me. “I know that Paul would’ve never hurt you like he tried to hurt me.” Jessica says sniffling a little.

“That’s bullshit he didn’t try to hurt you.” I defend him.

“Look, I know that you don’t know what I'm feeling right now Elle.” She carries on and I could see Gerard looking over at her compassionately. “That’s why I didn’t want to come here you know?” She says looking back at him and he didn’t say anything.

“You think I don’t know hurt?” I laugh in frustration. “You think Paul never got rough with me?” I say and I look up and my eyes lock on Bobs across the room. “You think he never called me names.” I tell her as I watch Bob take a slow drag from his cigarette.

“Its not the same Elle, you guys loved each other, he wasn’t gonna hurt you.” I hear Jessica say as I continued to stare into Bob’s eyes.

“Yeah he loved me that’s why he pushed me around.” I laugh sarcastically “I mean you think he never fucking slapped me when I’d mouth off to him, you think he never hit me?” I say turning my eyes back to her.

“When?” I hear Bob say roughly and I look back over at him.

“What?” I ask looking around a little confused.

“When did he hit you?” Bob says roughly. I shook my head like I didn’t want to talk about it but Bob was insistent. “Elle?” He repeats.

“Fuck Bob I don’t know.” I mumble looking away from him… Mikey was still standing by the sink nervously…It was like he was watching a car crash unfold before his eyes and he couldn’t look away… Gerard was a few feet from me. Leaning against the living room doorway. Jessica and I were standing in front of him kinda carrying on, bitching back and forth I guess. I mean Gerard could’ve reached over and pulled me into his arms. And fuck how I wished he did; but he just stood there. Frozen watching us… But he didn’t reach for me, and I wasn’t about to throw myself at him…

“Elle.” Bob repeats.

“I don’t know.” I say a little frustratedly. “The last time was fucking, uhh…” I rub my head a little thinking back. “It was after Tommy’s birthday party.” I stammer looking down at the floor.

“Tommy Stratto?” I hear Gerard say with a strange tone to his voice and I looked up at him.

“You were there?” I say a little confused.

“No.” He scowls a little… Yeah I didn’t think so.., I mean I didn’t remember him being there, but the way he said it…

“Oh.” I say and he wrinkles his eyebrows a little. I shrug.

“Wait when was this?” He says and I roll my eyes.

“I don’t know it was before my papa died, maybe the first week in November?” I suggest and Gerard kept staring at me like he was thinking pretty hard about something.

“You had a bruise on your cheek.” Gerard tells me and I look away, yup that would be it... “You showed up with a bruise on your cheek and you said you were in a car accident with Tommy.” Gerard says and I shake my head no faintly.

“No, I never said ‘car accident’.” I say weakly.

“Elle!” Gerard insists.

“No Gerard 'I' never said that I was in a car accident.” I repeat a little firmer.

“Then who did?” Gerard says roughly.

“I don’t know I guess when Tommy and I both showed up Monday bruised- people just assumed-“ I mumble and Gerard starts to get loud.

“People!” He cries out. Again with this! No matter how many times I tell him he's not just ‘anybody’, he's not just ‘people’ to me, he can’t seem to understand it...

“What the fuck did you want me to tell you Gerard!” I yell back. “That we were drunk and Paul thought it would be a good idea for me to dance for Tommy since it was his birthday and I guess Tommy and I were having too much fun according to Paul cause the next thing I know he fucking knocks me off the table and half way across the room with the back of his hand.” I tell him looking down at the floor. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at Bob. I couldn’t look at anybody…

“Elle…” Gerard sighs softly and he finally reaches over and pulls me towards him.

“And you're gonna go over there?” Mikey says and I look over at him.

“What?” I sigh a little as Gerard wrapped his arms around me.

“Elle I'm saying you can’t seriously-“ Mikey starts to say and I cut him off.

“Mikey don’t!” I yell out stepping back from Gerard a little. “Paul is a complicated guy.” I try to explain. “He's got a lot of things going on inside him.” I say and Mikey shakes his head like that’s no excuse.

“Complicated?” Bob cries out from across the room and I look over at him. He was completely infuriated… Fuck I shouldn’t have said anything in front of him.

“Bob.” I say softly trying to soothe him but it was useless.

“Things going on inside him?” Bob grumbles to himself.

“Bob honey, please.” I say a little louder and I can see Jessica smirk a little at me out of the corner of my eye but I ignore her.

“You wanna see what his insides look like!” Bob yells out. “Cause I’m gonna fucking tear him open Elle.” Bob says and I look over at him in horror.

“Bob!” I gasp and he just looked at me for a moment. I guess studying the horrified look on my face and then he glanced over at Gerard. I looked over at Gerard too and when I looked back Bob was gone. I mean he went out on the deck. He didn’t just magically disappear or turn into a spoon… He stepped out onto the deck and shut the door behind him. He was smoking, leaning against the railing. I was gonna go out after him but Gerard grabbed my shoulder and stopped me.

“Leave him.” He tells me and I frown. “Elle please, don’t make it worse.” He says softly and I nod. I wasn’t quite sure how me trying to talk to Bob was gonna make it worse but something in Gerard's tone told me he was right… “I'm gonna go bring Jess home okay.” Gerard tells me and I nod as he kisses my cheek. “I’ll be right back baby.” He says as he grabs my keys from the counter and walks out, Jessica following close behind…


“So Mikey you wanna come with me?” I ask once the front door slammed.

“To Pauls?” Mikey chokes on his words a little.

“No silly.” I say swatting his arm playfully. “To Sing Sing…”