FicWad

“A radish?” I repeat back sniffling lightly.

“Mm-hmm.” She says softly in only a way a mother would… It wasn’t condescending. She wasn’t making fun of my stupidity… She was just letting me know she knew I was crying and it was okay…

“I don’t like radishes.” I tell her and she kinda smiled as she patted my back softly.

“I don’t particularly fancy them myself but its nothing to cry over.” She says and I try not to smile…”Now. what's this really about Elle?” She says softly and I shrug. I didn’t really want to tell her. But its not like I have a list of people waiting to help either…

“I don’t know…” I sigh a little and she just looked at me, waiting for me to go on. “I mean why do guys act like that like they know better.” I say trying to be as vague as possible. Mrs. Way just smiled knowingly at me as she took the knife from me. I guess she figured I meant the ass from the repair shop and not Gerard and Bob… “I mean, how do you do it?” I ask her and she looked at me a little confused.

“Do what dear?” She replies.

“This.” I say waving my hand around the room at her… good thing she took the knife… She just kinda smiled at me. “I mean I'm trying.” I tell her and I can feel myself on the verge of tears again.

“Trying what?” She says softly.

“To be on my own. To take care of things by myself, but it seems like every time I finally get steady on my feet, life comes and knocks me back down on my ass.” I tell her and she just gave me that pity look that I hated. I didn’t want pity. I wanted advice…

“Oh Elle.” She kinda sighed.

“I mean how do you do it Mrs. Way?” I asked her and she looked at me like she didn’t know what I was referring to. “I mean Mr. Way is hardly around. You run the whole house, you keep those two in line.” I say nodding towards the basement door and she chuckled a little.

“Elle I wasn’t always like this.” She says and I made a face. “Back when I first got married and we moved in here, I was a complete wreck.” She says and I looked at her in disbelief… “But I realized that problems just don’t solve themselves, and you can’t always wait around for someone to fix it.” She says and I nod a little. “I've done things that I never thought I would.” She tells me.

“Like what?” I ask.

“Ah well the first time I got a flat tire on my own.” She says and I nod. “I mean Don was at work and Gerard and Mikey were both still in diapers.” She says and I try not to smile at the thought. “And I was coming home from the supermarket and I went out the wrong way in the lot.” She tells me and I kinda made a face. “I went over one of those strips that they warn you not to go over you know?” She says and I nod.

“Oh yeah.” I tell her.

“And all I wanted to do was just cry.” She says shaking her head a little.

“Mmm did you?” I ask and she smiled.

“Well yeah. At first. But then I took one look at my boys in the back seat and that was it.” She tells me and I nod. “I knew that it was all up to me. No one was gonna step in and save me.” She says and I shook my head a little.

“So you fixed the tire?” I asked her and she smiled.

“Yup.” She replies and I nod.

“I'm gonna fix mine too.” I tell her suddenly inspired and she smiled. “And I'm gonna do it by myself.” I proclaim.

“Well good for you Elle.” She says and I nod in satisfaction.

“Yeah. I can totally buy new tires.” I tell her and she smiles. “I mean if its one thing I'm good at, it’s shopping.” I tell her and she chuckles.

“See, you're gonna be fine.” She says reassuringly.

“Yeah, my only problems gonna be getting ‘them’ to let me.” I say and she looked at me funny.

“Who- them?” She says and I nod towards the basement door again.

“You know them.” I say shrugging. “I gotta ask one of them for a ride, and it’s not like they're gonna wait in the car and let me go in alone....” I say and the more I thought about it the less likely it seemed like I was gonna be able to do it on my own…She must've been thinking the same thing cause she kinda made a face at me…

“Well, how bout I bring you over?” She says and I look at her a little startled.

“What?” I kinda gasp.

“I’ll drive you Elle, and I wont help you unless you need it.” She says and I smile.

“You will?” I ask and she nods.

“Well of course.” She replies.

“Like right now?” I ask excitedly.

“Well, how bout after dinner.” She says pulling some plates down from the cabinet and it’s at this point I realize I've just been standing here doing shit as she talked and cooked and chopped…

“Oh let me.” I say taking them from her.

“Bob would you like to set the table.” Mrs. Way says and I look over and Bob’s in the doorway.

“Actually I came to apologize Mrs. Way, I'm not gonna be able to stay for dinner.” He tells her and my face drops.

“Why?” I cry out and Mrs. Way kinda glanced over.

“I um. Have something to do. I…really, I'm sorry.” He tells her and she nods.

“That’s quite all right Bob, we’ll see you later then.” She tells him and he nods as he goes to leave.

“Wait Bob.” I call out after him as I followed him outside. “Why are you going?” I ask him and he paused at the bottom of the steps and pulled his keys out.

“I just said, I've got something to do.” He tells me and I frown as I go down the steps towards him.

“Did you and Gerard not talk?” I say a little upset and he kinda smiled at my concerned expression.

“Naw we talked.” He says reaching over and opening his car door up.

“Well?” I say desperately… I mean did it not go well? Is that why he's leaving?

“Well what?” He replies.

“Bob!” I exclaim. He knew what I was asking; he just didn’t want to answer.

“Elle. Really. I gotta go.” He says and I shake my head a little.

“Where?” I ask.

“I gotta go get Lia, I'm suppose to bring her to work.” He says and I frown.

“Bob.” I protest.

“I’ll call you later honey.” He tells me and I roll my eyes a little.

“You can’t. Where you gonna call me, hmm?” I tell him and he frowns a little.

“Then you call me.” He says and I pout. “Elle come on stop. I gotta go.” He says trying not to smile at my pouted lip.

“Come by later.” I tell him and he arched his eyebrow up a little.

“Here?” He says like I had to be kidding.

“No to the hotel.” I tell him and he looked at me skeptically.

“You're still going to the hotel?” He says and I nod.

”Well yeah, the motel actually. You know that Motel 6 up by the diner.” I tell him and he nods.

“Yeah I know where it is.” He replies.

“Promise me.” I say and he looked at me funny. “Promise me you’ll come by Bob.” I say and he kinda grinned. “I mean it, even if it’s late. I wanna talk to you.” I tell him and nods. “Say it Bob.” I tell him and he kinda laughed.

“Say what?” He shrugs.

“That you're gonna come.” I whine.

“Elle. I gotta go.” He says and I pout again and he smiles. “I’ll see you later okay honey, I promise.” He says leaning over and kissing the top of my head lightly before getting in his car and pulling away. I just kinda stood there for a minute… Watching his car get smaller and smaller before turning to go back in… And when I did Mikey was standing on the steps with kinda an annoyed expression on his face. I don’t know how long he was out there, or how much of my conversation with Bob he heard, but it really didn’t matter…

“What?” I ask him as I go up the steps and he shrugged.

“Nothing Elle.” He says but I could tell he wanted to say something… He just wouldn’t…

“You sure Mikey?” I say giving him another chance…

“Yeah… I'm sure…”

I followed Mikey back into the house. All throughout dinner he kept glancing over at me like he wanted to say something, but he never did… I hardly spoke to Gerard either. I mean we spoke, but just about bullshit you know, cause his mom was there… I was sitting on one side of the table next to Gerard, and Mikey and Donna were across from us…

Donna kept most of the conversation going. Asking them about school and grades and chores and crap. I guess the things normal families discuss over dinner… I wouldn’t know…

The whole thing was awkward though. I mean Mikey kept looking at me funny and it was so obvious too. And Gerard… Gerard wouldn’t look at me… I knew what he was doing. He was pulling that same shit he did way back when, when he thought he heard me crying in the shower cause of him…

He was beating himself up over this, I could just tell. The way he kept sneaking glances at me. And the few times that our eyes actually met, he had this real pathetically remorseful look in them and I'm not even sure why. I mean he's gotta know it was an accident. I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me...

And honestly I don’t even know why it’s such a big deal. I mean if Donna wasn’t sitting here, I’d tell him that. Tell him to get over it already… I'm not worried about it, I'm not upset at it, I never was… I don’t even remember what we were fighting about that got me so pissed that I wanted to leave either!

No… The only thing I'm upset about now, is the fact that Bob left…

I mean did they not talk? What the fuck? I thought guys were suppose to not be so complicated… I mean Bob kinda got into it with Brian at the strip club that night and all it took was a simple nod and they were ‘instantly cool’… Gerard and Bob are better friends then Bob and Brian were… So shouldn’t it be easier for them to ‘make up’?

And it was just killing me too that I didn’t know what happened… I wanted to just ask him, his mom sitting there or not… I just needed to know. But I didn’t… I held my tongue. Took all my will power but I did…

I figured everyone was almost done eating, and after I helped Donna clean up I could talk to Gerard and find out what happened with him and Bob…

“It was very good Mrs. Way, thank you.” I tell her folding my napkin up and putting it on my plate.

“Oh you're very welcome Elle.” Mrs. Way replies and I nod politely back.

“Elle, you hardly ate.” Gerard says looking over and frowning at my dish.

“Uh yes I did.” I tell him and he reaches for the serving dish.

“Have some more, you didn’t eat enough.” He says and I put my hand out and block him from putting anything more on my dish.

“I did!” I insist. “I ate enough. I'm fine.” I tell him and he just held the dish out like he wasn’t gonna give up till I took more.

“She ate plenty Gerard, leave her alone.” Donna kinda laugh and Gerard made a face and put the dish back down reluctantly.

“I just figured you better eat now, I mean, who knows when you're gonna eat a home cooked meal again.” He says lowering his voice down and I looked at him cautiously… I smelled an ambush…

“Oh Gerard.” Donna laughed again.

”What? Its not like she has a home.” He says and I cringe a little… That fucker… He just had to bring it up.

“Of course she has a home!” Donna laughs and I looked at Gerard like please don’t tell your mom. His face was blank, but I could see the glimmer in his eye as he told her…

“Naw ma. There was a fire last night, pretty bad too.”

Donna just looked over at me in disbelief. "No!?" She gasped at me. I nodded like yeah hes telling the truth... I mean what the fuck was I suppose to do deny it?

“I mean no one was hurt or anything, but uh they said she can't go back there for a while.” He says and I can feel myself tensing up…Here it comes…”You know so I thought maybe she could stay here.” He says and Donna nods.

“Well of course.” She cries out and Gerard kinda smiled smugly…

“Oh Donna no. I cant.” I tell her and she tosses her napkin down onto her plate too now.

“Why don’t be silly Elle, of course you can.” She says and I glance over at Gerard whose now finishing up his dinner quite satisfied with himself. And why wouldn’t he be… He figures I cant say no to his mom. That I’ll stay here, under his watchful eye… or should I say under his thumb…

“No really, the insurance company is gonna pay for a hotel.” I tell her and she kinda frowned in disapproval. “I told Gerard that already.” I tell her trying not to grind my teeth as I glanced over at him.

“Oh.” She replies and she glances at him too.

“Yeah I mean…” I shrug a little and she nodded like she understood. I mean we just talked about that… About me being independent…She knew how much it meant to me to prove I could do it…

“Well then that’s fine Elle.” She says and Gerard coughed a little, choking on his food.

“What?” He gasps once he cleared his throat.

“If the insurance company will pick up the bill then I don’t see why Elle shouldn’t stay there.” Donna says and Gerard shakes his head a little at her.

“Ma, its too dangerous.” He tells her a looking over at her a little outraged…Or maybe he was just confused as to why she wasn’t insisting I stay like he expected her too…

“Nonsense, they have security, and there's someone at the front desk all the time.” She tells him and I nod. Gerard kinda shifted his eyes between me and his mother. I was waiting for him to say something else but he never did… He had too much respect to argue with her… “Now come on Elle, I’ll drop you off.” She says and I nod and go to pick up my dish but Gerard reached over and grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“Drop her where?” He cries out.

“Your moms gonna bring me to fix my tires.” I tell him and he shook his head as he stood up.

“Naw ma. I’ll go.” He tells her and Donna smiled.

“Sit back down. I’ll bring her.” She says and he just looked at her. “I already said I would.” She tells him and he sighs a little.

“Yeah but.” He goes to argue and Donna kinda held her hand up.

“Its not a problem now please, can you clean up these dishes.” She says and he paused a minute before nodding. “Mikey you can help.” She says and Mikey makes a face.

“Ma you were suppose to bring me to the library.” Mikey tells her and she nods.

“Oh yeah I'm sorry sweety, I forgot.” She tells him and Gerard's eyes light up.

“Then you take Mikey and I’ll bring Elle.” He says and Donna smiles.

“Or Mikey could just come with us and we’ll stop at the library on the way.” She says and Mikey shrugs.

“Guess you're doing the dishes alone bro!” Mikey kinda teases him and Gerard frowned at him.

“Naw then I'm coming too, if everyone’s going.” Gerard says sounding an awful lot like a little kid who didn’t want be left out… Actually, he sounded like Mikey…

“No, thats out of the question.” Donna tells him shaking her head at him. “Your grandmother was gonna call if she needed a ride from the doctors, somebody’s got to be here Gerard.” Donna tells him and he kinda makes a face at her. Mikey smirked a little at him… I didn’t say anything. “Don’t worry we’ll be back in a little bit.” She says and he shrugs.

“What am I suppose to tell Grandma if she calls?” Gerard says a little bitterly.

“Well, if she needs a ride, you go pick her up.” Donna says to him like he's two years old and I tried not to smile… I couldn’t blame her. He was acting like a little brat…

“Yeah alright.” He sighs.

“And don’t breathe a word to her about Elles house.” Donna says and he just looked at her like why not… I kinda looked over at her the same way…”You know how she is…” Donna says and Gerard nods… I guess she wouldn’t want me in the hotel either…

I looked over at Gerard. He had the same fucking look in his eye that he did before. He was trying so hard not to smile too… He pressed his lips together and looked over at him mom and nodded like he understood, but I could see right through him...

“Don’t worry ma. I wont say a word…”