FicWad

“You sound like Bob.” I smiled looking up at Gerard and he leant forward and kissed the top of my head lightly and then pushed me back from him slightly.

“Ah, so he's the only one who can call you honey?” He says and I shrug.

“No. Just sounds funny you saying it, that’s all.” I tell him as he reached up and pushed the hair from my face. “I can’t believe you came.” I sighed a little looking down at the floor… I was starting to think that he wasn’t gonna show up… That he had had enough of my shit and decided to just move on with his life, find a more normal girl, a girl with less problems…

“Um, where’s your clothes Elle?” he says cautiously looking me over a little.

“There in the room.” I tell him and he half smiled.

“Mmm how come they're not on your body?” He says and I frowned… I told him that was the only thing I had left to wear. Why is he teasing me about it?

“What?” I say a little hurt.

“Never mind, lets just go in.” He says reaching for the doorknob. I kind of had left the door halfway open behind me.

“No! You can’t!” I cry out blocking the doorway. Fuck! He couldn’t go in! He’ll fucking kill Mikey if he finds him passed out drunk like that! I mean Mikey’s suppose to be protecting me…

“What's going on?” Gerard says a looking at me a little distrustingly…

“Nothing, I swear.” I tell him trying to sound convincing.

“Elle.” He says like he didn’t really believe me and I didn’t know why… I mean it wasn’t really a lie. Nothing was going on…not anymore… But wait, that wasn’t the whole truth, which according to him is a lie…Great I'm fucking I'm lying to him… “Who’s in there Elle?” He says and I shook my head a little trying to clear my thoughts…

“Gerard, I'm so sorry.” I tell him and I can feel my eyes filling up with tears. He looked me over real fast and then turned his eyes from me.

“Sorry for what?” He says looking past me.

“For everything.” I sniffled. And I really meant it too… I was sorry for the way I’d been acting lately… for refusing his help… for being so freaking stubborn all the time… I reached out for him and he stepped back abruptly.

“Who the fuck is in there.” He repeats again a little harsher and I make a face at him. What the hell is he talking about? And why does he seem so pissed?

“What?” I shake my head a little and he swings his eyes back on to me.

“Is it Bob? Paul? Some random guy you picked up in the street?” He says glaring at me slightly and I drop my jaw open in disbelief… What the hell was he saying?

“No ones in there but Mikey Gerard.” I tell him and his face went blank.

“Mikey? My brother Mikey?” He says with a strange tone to his voice and I got the feeling we weren’t exactly having the same conversation… It took me a second to try to piece together what he was thinking… I mean I guess I could see how he might’ve gotten the wrong idea… I am standing in the motels doorway completely undressed, telling him I'm sorry and not letting him in the room… But how could he think that… aw fuck!

“Wait, you think I'm cheating on you with Mikey!” I gasp when I put the pieces together and Gerard kinda just looked at me like he knew it was ridiculous too…

“I don’t know what to think anymore.” He says and I shook my head at him a little.

”Come on Gerard- Mikey!” I kinda laughed and he smiled. “Didn’t your mom tell you he was staying with me?” I ask and he shakes his head no.

“No.” He says and I looked at him like I didn’t believe him. “I went downstairs after you all left. I started sketching and I guess I got too into it cause I didn’t hear her come in, and the next thing I know I look up and it’s after midnight, so I just got up and came right here...” He says a little absentmindedly, and he shifted his eyes as he spoke. It was obvious he was thinking about something else…

“Yeah but really Gerard. You thought I was here with Mikey like that?” I say a little disgusted.

“Well, not Mikey but maybe someone…” He says and I frowned. “Well, what am I suppose to think Elle?” He says a little apologetically. “You’ve been pushing me away lately.” He says lowering his voice down a little and I felt my heart aching for him… “Saying how you don’t need me, and I don’t know Elle…” He says his voice trailing off a little.

“I know Gerard.” I sighed… “And that’s why I said I was sorry.” I tell him trying to hold back my tears. ”I do need you…I never needed you so badly...” I tell him softly looking down at the floor. He reached over and titled my chin back up and didn’t say anything. Just leant forward and kissed me deeply…

When he pulled back he just stared into my eyes for a few seconds not saying anything… “You know I’d never cheat on you right?” I say to him and he half smiled.

“Yeah.” he says and I make a face at his expression.

“What is it?” I say a little thrown off by his smile…

“Well to cheat on someone that means you have to be together first.” He says and I continue to look at him a little confused.

“Uh yeah.” I say cautiously.

“So you're saying were together.” He tells me grinning a little.

“Well of course.” I say and he smiles now. “Did you think we weren’t?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I really didn’t know Elle.” He says and I frown.

“Where would you get a silly idea like that from?” I ask him and he arches his eyebrow up at me like I had to be kidding…

“Come on Elle.” He says and I just looked at him blankly. I really had no idea... “All right how bout cause of how you tossed my ring back at me?” He says and I frown… “Or maybe cause of how you threw me out of your house when you locked yourself in the bathroom?” He says and I bit my lip a little… “Or maybe cause of how you just tried to walk out on me before, when you promised you wouldn’t do that again” He says and I shake my head a little at him.

“Those things didn’t mean anything.” I tell him and he just looked at me. “You gotta know that I still love you.”

“I love you too honey.” He says and I giggled. He called me honey again…I don’t know why I found that so amusing… He kinda smiled at my giggle.

“What's so funny?” He says and I shrug.

“I don’t know. You calling me honey.” I tell him truthfully and he smiled.

“But you are my honey, aren’t you?” He says and I smiled as he pulled me into his arms.

“Of course Gerard.” I tell him reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“And no one else’s?” He says and I smile as I kiss him again.

“nu-uh.” I mumble into his mouth. He pulled back from our kiss and just kinda smiled at me… “So uh, what were you sketching before?” I ask curiously and he shrugged.

“Just crap.” He says and I smiled.

“For five hours?” I tease him.

“Well lots and lots of crap.” He replies and I smile again. “So Mikey stayed because-“ He says and I shrug.

“Cause I got scared.” I tell him and he kinda frowned.

“Scared of what?” He asks and I bit my lip a little.

“Your mom didn’t tell you?” I ask and he shakes his head no.

“I told you I didn’t talk to her.” He says and I bit my lip a slightly.

“So she didn’t tell you how ‘Bob’ fixed my tires?” I say and he kinda made a face.

“Bob fixed your tires?” He says like he didn’t believe me.

“No.” I tell him and he frowns.

“You just said-“ He goes to argue.

“No.” I interrupt him. “I said your mom thinks Bob fixed my tires.” I tell him and he raises his eyebrows at me.

“He didn’t?” He asks and I shake my head a little. I could feel myself on the verge of tears again… “Then who did?” He asks and I shrug.

“I don’t know Gerard when I got there they were fixed and it…it just freaked me out, so I asked Mikey to stay” I started to sniffle and Gerard pulled me into his arms.

“All right don’t you cry now.” He tells me reassuringly as he hugged me. It was weird cause his words were soothing but I could feel how tense he was though, from what I just said… I pressed myself as tightly to him as I could and leant my head against his chest and strained to hear his heartbeat through his shirt…

“I was starting to think you weren’t gonna come either.” I tell him softly as he ran his hand through my hair.

“Why wouldn’t I come?” He replies and I shrug.

“Cause I told you not to.” I tell him shutting my eyes slightly and taking a deep breath of him.

“And since when do I listen to you?” He teases me and I smile opening my eyes back up and looking up at him adoringly…

I heard a door slam and glanced over to the left. Some guys were coming out of the next room now. They kinda grinned looking over at us… Well at me mostly, not so much Gerard. I guess cause I was standing in the hallway dressed only in my underwear hugging on to him for dear life…

“Come on Elle, let’s get back inside.” Gerard says softly nodding towards the open door, trying to ignore them as they walked down the hallway right past us. I mean he sort of glared over at them a little as he went to push me back into the room, and I heard one of them kinda snicker something like sweet, or maybe they said slut. I don’t know… but Gerard didn’t say anything… Fuck, Bob would’ve… I mean if Bob was here they’d be mopping the blood up off the walls by now…I considered myself lucky that it was Gerard at my door, and not Bob, for that reason alone…

I desperately clung on to Gerard as we stepped back into the room. I was still so freaked about the tires...

“You all right Elle?” Gerard says softly looking my face over as we stepped back into the room. I guess he could tell I was really upset…I couldn’t even answer him. I just looked down at the floor. “Elle?” He calls my name when I don’t answer and I look up at him. “You all right love?” He says and I nod pathetically at him…

“Yeah, I was just thinking.” I say softly and he frowned a little.

“Look, you stay in here for a minute, I’ll be right back okay?” He tells me and I make a face at him.

“Where are you going?” I ask him as he reached for the door.

“To get some ice.” He says and before I could argue he dashed out the door…

Whatever…I mean it would give me some time to try to fucking wake Mikey up before Gerard finds him like this…

But it was no use. I shook him and shook him and nothing…I even filled the ice bucket with cold water and tossed it on him…but nothing. I mean a whole fucking bucket of water and nothing… He was out cold…

And then I thought if he's out cold maybe he needed hot water on him… you know, the opposite… So I ran the hot water in the sink a few minutes and then filled the ice bucket with it and threw that on him to but nothing… It was no use… He wasn’t getting up… And even if he did he'd be in no condition to pass as sober anyway…

So I dried him off a little and fixed the blankets back… I figured I’d just pretend he's asleep and not unconscious, that is unless Gerard asks, I wont say anything… I mean really whats the difference between sleep and unconsciousness anyway? I went to put the ice bucket back by the fridge and that when it hit me… I have the ice bucket…

How is Gerard getting ice if I have the ice bucket…?

Ah, he's so silly! I mean I don’t know what the big deal with guys and ice at hotels… Paul was the same way. Every time we’d go and stay somewhere he’d have to fill the ice bucket. And for what? For nothing! I mean it would just melt into a bucket of water by the morning… I guess cause its free guys feel compelled to take it? I don’t know… I should really ask Gerard…

Eh. I figure he's gonna get all the way down there, realize he doesn’t have the ice bucket, feel a little foolish and come back… Maybe I’ll just bring it too him… Aw fuck, but I'm not really dressed to be wandering the halls…

I grabbed the bathrobe I had on in the bathroom before and was just about to put my boots on when the door swung open and Gerard walked in, empty handed of course. I was sitting on the edge of the bed near Mikey's feet.

“Hey, where’s the ice?” I teased him kinda loudly, and then I remembered I'm suppose to be pretending Mikey's asleep…

“Huh?” He says like he doesn’t know what I'm talking about.

“Shh.” I hush him. “You went for ice right? So where is it?” I tell him lowering my voice down so as to not ‘wake’ Mikey… I was just messing with him. I mean I knew he forgot the ice bucket! I knew he got down all the way down there and had to come back…He kinda just looked at me for a second.

“It melted.” He tells me and I smile.

“Aw come on you can do better then that!” I tease him again and he kinda smiled too as he walked past me into the bathroom and turned the faucet on. He looked a little disheveled… Like maybe he was running up and down the halls or something. I kinda followed him in a little concerned. “You all right?” I ask him and he nodded as he splashed some water up on his face.

“Yeah I'm fine.” He says but I just didn’t really believe him… Something was off. I couldn’t really put my finger on it though… He was standing in front of the sink and I was kinda behind him, sitting on the edge of the tub, looking him over… He slid his jacket off and tossed it out the bathroom door on to the floor and I frowned. But not because he threw his coat on the floor, well not entirely because of that, but because the back of his shirt was filthy! I mean fucking little pieces of leaves and crap stuck to it… Looked like he was rolling around in the dirt outside…

“Gerard!” I sorta gasped as I stood up and came towards him. He glanced up at me in the mirror. “What the fuck happened to you?” I grumbled as I brushed the crap off the back of his shirt.

“Nothing.” He replies and I make a face at him.

“You're fucking filthy!” I tell him and he didn’t say anything, just continued to wash his hands as I made my way down his back and along his side brushing the dirt from him… Fuck, he had it all over him, his back, his side, his knees.

“Just leave it.” He tells me as he shuts the water off. I frowned looking at him.

“What the hell were you doing?” I ask him and he just looked at me blankly as he dried his hands on a towel. “Gerard.” I insist crossing my arms on my chest.

“I wasn’t doing anything.” He says grinning a little and that’s how I knew he was lying…

“Gerard!” I kinda yell out loudly and he shushed me. I guess he really did believe Mikey was sleeping…

“What is it baby, hmm?” He finally says after I stared at him insistently for a few moments. I was starting to think that maybe he didn’t go for ice… But if he didn’t go for ice, where the hell did he go? …I hope he didn’t go say something to those guys in the hall before…

“I wanna know what's going on.” I tell him and he smiled a little.

“Nothing is going on.” He tells me and he went to walk out of the bathroom but I moved slightly, blocking the door.

“Did you go say something to those guys?” I ask him and he diverted his eyes from me.

“Come on now Elle, don’t be crazy.” He says trying to push past me and I reach my hand up and push him back.

“I'm not crazy!” I cry out a little upset. “You were obviously fighting with somebody!” I tell him and he grinned a little looking back down at me. And if it wasn’t those guys then who?

“Why would you think that?” He says and I roll my eyes a little. He must think I'm stupid…

“Come on Gerard look at you!” I tell him and he looked himself over like he had no clue what I was saying. “You're all fucking filthy and shit! And you didn’t look like that when you got here before.” I tell him waving my hand at him and he smiled again.

“Ah, you sure about that Elle?” He says and I'm suddenly completely thrown off…Did he look like that when he got here? I don’t know… I don’t think so… While I was doubting myself, he kinda pushed past me, back into the room. “I need a fucking drink.” He says heading towards the mini-fridge… The empty mini-fridge…

“No!” I cry out desperately, not wanting him to open it, and he looks over at me a little startled…

“Elle.” He says like what the fuck is my problem.

“You want a drink uh… we’re gonna need ice.” I tell him and he grins.

“You don’t need ice, the fridge is cold enough.” He says and I make a face at him.

“Then why’d you go ‘for ice’?” I ask snidely and he ignored me as he opened the fridge up. I bit my lip a little as he looked inside.

“It’s empty.” He says and I just looked at him blankly and didn’t say anything. “Where’d all the shit that’s suppose to be in here go Elle“ He says accusingly to me and I shrug.

“I dunno, where’s the ice Gerard?” I tell him and he shook his head a little. It was obvious he wasn’t gonna tell me shit, so I wasn’t gonna tell him shit either…

He didn’t say anything back just kinda slammed the empty fridge shut and went over and checked the locks on the door. Then he went over and sat on the edge of the bed and kicked his shoes off roughly.

“Lets just go to bed.” He sighed a little in frustration.

“You're still gonna stay with me?” I asked softly as I stepped in front of him, my robe swinging open slightly, and he smiled faintly at me as he slid his hands under my bathrobe, wrapping them around my waist, and pulling me towards him. I mean I was kinda surprised that he was gonna stay after the attitude I just gave him, but as soon as I felt his touch all the bickering we were doing just seemed to fade away…

“Of course I'm gonna stay honey.” He says pressing his face into my chest kissing it a few times and I can’t help but to giggle once again. He smiled widely looking up at me… Like he knew that was all it would take to get me to laugh and he found it amusing…

“Stop Gerard.” I said trying to pull back slightly and he tightened his grip on me and pulled me even closer, continuing to kiss the exposed parts of my breasts even more now.

“Mmm you don’t like it honey?” He teases me and I don’t know if he meant his kisses or him calling me honey like Bob does… aw Bob…

“Gerard what happened with Bob before?” I blurt out and he stops kissing me and kinda drops his hands from my waist and just looked at me for a second. “I mean did you guys talk at all?” I say and his face went blank.

“Talk?” He says like he didn’t understand the question.

“Yeah you know ‘talking’. When one person says something and the other person says something back, it’s called talking.” I tell him and he smiled at me but didn’t say anything. “Was there any of that going on or…?” I ask him and he sorta laughed.

“Uh yeah, things were said.” He tells me and I just looked at him. Things were said? Is that all he's gonna fucking say? Is he kidding me?!

“Yeah things? Things like what?” I demand and he shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs and I roll my eyes at him. “Look I'm real tired Elle, let’s just go to bed all right baby?” He says and I make a face at him. What the fuck? I mean he wasn’t tired two seconds ago when he was kissing me! But now that I wanna talk about Bob he's suddenly too sleepy?

“Gerard!” I whine.

“All right Elle.” He sighs. “You really wanna know.” He says and I nod insistently.”I’ll tell you…