FicWad

After ranting on Detective James for a few minutes I just decided that I had just had enough…I was leaving and I dared him to stop me.

I walked out of that office feeling like my head was gonna literally explode…just explode-like bam! And as I stepped into the long corridor that separated the police station from the courthouse part of the building, I could see Gerard, and Ray, and Bob sitting on a bench kinda near the exit door, just talking amongst themselves. I’d say they were a good 50 feet away from me, I mean it was a pretty fucking long hallway…The second I stepped out of the office Gerard looked up and instantly saw me. I know he did, cause our eyes kinda locked on each other for a split second and I felt my heart aching for him…I wanted to just run up and jump into his arms and squeeze him tightly and never let him go, but I didn’t…

I couldn’t… I just felt so unworthy all of a sudden… He got up and started to come towards me and I panicked. I glanced to the left and saw the ladies room door and I suddenly felt horribly nauseous… I darted inside without saying a single word to him and instantly spit up the little bit of water that I had just drank into the sink… I lifted my head up and stared at my reflection for a moment in the dingy lights… Damn, I looked horrible…

I didn’t have my purse. I didn’t have a brush or a comb or lipstick or anything. Not that my hair was super messy, or I really needed lipstick. It just would’ve made me feel a little better that’s all… I ran the water and wet my hands and ran it through my hair a little and that’s when I noticed the bandaid on my arm.

“What the fuck is this?” I mumbled a little as I pulled it off me. It was one of those huge bandaids like you’d put on your knee. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before…

Aw fuck Mr. Samuel must've done this, which is funny cause I don’t remember him doing it… I mean how could he clean me and bandage me where he stuck me with that damn needle and I didn’t even feel it? But he had to have…Oh God, what else could he have done that I don’t remember… Suddenly it seemed like the walls were caving in on me… I mean what the fuck is wrong with me defending Mr. Samuel like that… Fuck Gerard's warned me more times than I can count to stay the fuck away from Mr. Samuel, but I never really understood why…Damn it, why don’t I ever just listen to him?

But now what am I supposed to do? Go back and tell Robocop that I wanna talk? That I changed my mind? No I cant do it… I wont do it…I was just so annoyed with the way he and that other fucking cop was treating me… Like I was some kinda whore… But I don’t know…maybe they're right. Maybe I am just a whore… Maybe this is just yet another sorta punishment the universe is dishing out at me… Maybe I deserve this…

I started to pull the neck of my dress down, slowly, my hand trembling slightly as I did it… I just had to see… I don’t know what I thought I was going to find. Another tattoo maybe? I breathed a sharp sigh of relief when I saw there was nothing there…

“Ah what the fuck is wrong with you Elle.” I scold myself in the mirror… “Always thinking the worst.” I say shutting the faucet off. Mr. Samuel didn’t do anything to me while I was unconscious. I'm sure of it. And yet he's still gonna be in trouble…for what? For putting his hand on my leg? That’s just ridiculous!

And it’s totally my fault… I didn’t stop him… I mean I can see if I told him no and he didn’t listen, then yeah he should totally be in trouble for that... But I didn’t tell him no, which is the same thing as saying yes… isn’t it? Shit, I've probably been encouraging him! I mean all those times I smiled at him… Batted my eyelashes a little trying to get a late pass for class when I would slack off… Fuck this is all my fault, and now he's gonna be fired because of it, and there's nothing I can do about it…

I have to at least tell him…Tell him I'm sorry. I mean it is entirely my fault; he was only trying to help me. That’s why he brought me to his house and now he's gonna get screwed for it big time…fuck…

But I don’t know… Something’s still bothering me…those voices I heard, or at least I think I heard… everything was all garbled up in my head… one of them sounded like the dude from Pauls house but I don’t know. But maybe he wasn’t talking to that guy, maybe I heard him talking to someone else…

It all seemed like one big mashed up dream and so many hours passed and I can only remember like 30 seconds of voices all piled on top of each other… fuck… I really wanna go back to his house and talk to him but there's no way Gerard's gonna let me… He's got to be pissed at him. Especially if Ray tells him the same thing he told the cops…

Well I figured I couldn’t stay in the bathroom all night, as tempting as it sounded…no I had to go out and face them… I opened the door very slowly and peeked out. Detective James was standing there now, talking with all of them… They all had very grim looks on their faces and Ray was shaking his head no a little… Fuck they were gonna try to get me to ‘reconsider’ my statement, or lack of statement that was… But I’m not going to. Fucking prick Detective can kiss my ass… Mr. S is gonna be fired anyway, that should be enough, they should all be smiling…

I stepped out into the hallway but I don’t think any of them saw me… But Pete’s dad did… He called my name and I spun around and kinda smiled at him.

“Aw hey there Sarge.” I say and he smiles.

“Is everything all right Elle?” He says and I nod.

“Um yeah.” I say and he waves me back around the counter thing. Bob looked up and I know he saw me go back in. He kinda nudged Gerard who looked over too. They were still talking to the Detective guy…

“So what brings you down here?” Pete’s dad asks and a thought suddenly pops into my head.

“Can I use your phone?” I ask and he kinda made a face at me.

“You came all the way down here to use the phone?” He says and I smile widely.

“No I came for something else, but I really need to make a call.” I tell him and I find myself absentmindedly cocking my head to the side a little and batting my eyelashes him… What the fuck is wrong with me?! I was flirting with him… I mean it was like automatic; I totally did it without even thinking… I mean fuck know how many times I've done it to Mr. S… no wonder he had the wrong idea…

“Go right ahead dear.” Pete’s dad kinda grinned at me as he nodded to a phone on desk near the wall.

“Um thanks.” I said softly as I went over to it… I was completely disgusted with myself… But hopefully this will balance it out… I picked it up and dialed the number from memory. 330-7734.

He answered quick enough and what was strange was that he didn’t seem to surprised I was calling him…I told him how Ray and I got stopped and they know I was at his house and all… He didn’t really say anything and I wasn’t quite sure how to tell him the other part, so I just kinda danced around it for a while until he asked me to just kinda spit it out. So I did. I told him how the cops and Ray got this stupid idea that like maybe something happened when I was there and how I told them no but they said it didn’t matter cause they have to tell the school board anyway…

He said he kinda figured something like that was going to happen and that he's sorry… What the fuck- he's apologizing to me! I mean I screw him over and he's saying sorry? He said that he should've called the police and that he's sorry for putting me in that position…I told him that that was crazy that its all my fault and I should be apologizing to him. He kinda laughed which I didn’t understand and then he said to save his number and that I should call him later, that he had some more stuff that we should discuss about my mom… I found myself telling him sure, which was weird cause I remember wanting to get out of there so badly… But the thought of finding out more about my mom and my dad… it was just too tempting to pass up…

I hung up the phone and walked back into the hallway, totally lost in my thoughts… I just couldn’t make heads or tails of anything anymore. All I wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed… my bed…My bed that’s not there anymore, fuck… I had my head hung forward and I stared down at the floor trying to hold back my tears. I guess I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice the guys weren’t at the end of the hallway anymore. They were actually just a few feet away from me, waiting kinda by the door I just came out.

I didn’t realize this until I felt like a shadow over me and I looked up and gasped. It was Gerard. Before I even caught my breath he had his arms wrapped tightly against me, pulling me against him. He was practically squeezing the life out of me. I heard him sigh my name and I pulled back slightly and looked up at him. He just looked so…relieved...

“You all right?” He says and I found myself shaking my head no.

“I don’t feel well.” I tell him and he frowned, not at me, just at everything I suppose. I saw him looking me over carefully, his eyes pausing on mine for a second. Then he lifted my face up and kissed my forehead and I sighed a little looking up at him. “Can we go home.” I asked him softly and he looked at me like he understood, but he didn’t say anything back, he just glanced over at Ray and Bob and then back at me…Ray kinda shrugged a little like wasn’t quite sure what to say, which I didn’t get cause honestly I wasn’t asking Ray, and Bob…

Well Bob was kinda looking at me with the same sorta relieved expression Gerard had, but there was something more behind it. I just couldn’t tell what…

“You all right Bobby?” I ask him and he sorta smiled.

“Am I all right?” He repeats back like it amused him that I was worried about him.

“Mm-hmm.” I nodded and he smiled at me.

“Yeah Elle, I'm just glad that your all right.” He says and I smiled a little back. Gerard still had me tightly in his arms, and he seemed to be squeezing me even tighter all of a sudden… I wanted to ask him if he and Bob made up. You know if everything was okay… but I didn’t get a chance. I went to open my mouth to speak but Gerard spoke first.

“Elle, Detective James says you're not cooperating and you really need to.” He tells me sounding very serious and to tell the truth, a little rehearsed… He glanced over at Ray who nods in agreement. I scoffed at both of them.

“I don’t know what he told you.” I say a little annoyed. “Or what you told him-“ I direct at Ray who immediately took offense.

“I told him exactly what you told me.” He says and I frowned.

“Yeah but they're blowing it all out of proportion.” I say and Ray shakes his head no.

“He shouldn’t have touched you.” Ray insists and I roll my eyes a little.

“That was my fault.” I say and Gerard takes a step back from me.

“What?” He says like he didn’t understand what I was saying.

“I should've stopped him, it’s my fault.” I say and Gerard frowns at me like I suddenly lost my mind.

“Elle what the fuck?” He tries to say and I kinda blow it off.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now okay.” I tell him and he shakes his head no.

“We’re not leaving till you talk to them.” He replies and I make a face at him.

“I did.” I tell him and he kinda snickered at me.

“Yeah I heard how well you talked.” He says and I just stared at him a little lost. “Half the fucking building heard you carrying on.” He says and I looked down a little shamed. I didn’t think I was yelling at him that loudly before I walked out, but I suppose I was…

“Can we go?” I repeat once again and he still doesn’t answer, doesn’t move, doesn’t do shit. “Its not gonna matter, he's already gonna lose his job. Didn’t the detective tell you that?” I ask and he kinda nodded. “So then, that’s it just let it go…He's gonna lose his job and he knows it.” I add and Gerard raises his eyebrows up at me.

“How does he know it?” He says and I answer him without thinking.

“Cause I just told him.” I say and he frowned a little.

“You what?” He replies and I bit my lip a little.

“Wait he's here?” Bob says and I shake my head no.

“No I called him.” I tell him.

“You have his phone number?” He says and I nodded.

“Where did you get that from?” He says and I shook my head a little annoyed.

“He gave it to me to call him so I called him.” I tell him and Gerard tosses his hands up in the air in frustration.

“You called him for what Elle?” He says and I looked down at the floor as I spoke.

“To tell him.” I say and Gerard took a step back in anger, cursing under his breath slightly as he did it. “It was only fair.” I tell him lifting my eyes back up on him.

“Fair!” He yells at me and I winced a little. He was so angry all of a sudden.

“Don’t yell at me.” I say softly as he stepped back towards me.

“I'm not yelling at you.” He hisses at me. “Is that what you want? You want me to yell at you?” he says starting to get loud once again. “Is that the only way to get through to you?” He starts to carry on and I cringed a little.

“Gerard!” Ray says loudly and Gerard seemed to snap out of it. “Come here a sec.” Ray says motioning for Gerard to come over. Gerard took a step towards Ray and Bob reached over and grabbed my arm and pulled me a little bit in the opposite direction.

“Come on lets go outside honey.” Bob says and I nod… I mean going outside was one step closer to getting the fuck out of here. I could see Bobs car parked in the lot… My truck was there too… I immediately headed towards them and Bob pulled me back. “Mmm not so fast.” He says stopping me.

“Bob.” I sigh a little.

“I wanna talk to you.” He says and I frown.

“You gonna yell at me too?” I ask and he kinda smiled.

“I just wanna talk.” He says and I sighed a little.

“You're mad.” I say and he shakes his head no.

“I'm not mad.” He says and I just didn’t believe him.

“Yeah you are, just like Gerard.” I say and he paused a moment.

“Gerard's not mad. No ones mad at you Elle.” He says and I just looked at him. “But you gotta realize you cant just walk away from this.” He says and I frowned. That’s what I wanted to do… walk away… I don’t see why he's saying I can’t…

“Bob.” I whine a little.

“No Elle.” He says shaking his head at me like I couldn’t whine and pout my way out of it this time with him…”Come sit down.” He says nodding towards the bench by the door. I sighed a little in disagreement but let him drag me over and force me down on it.

“You're not gonna sit?” I ask and he shakes his head no and kneels in front of me.

“There's only two ways out of this Elle.” He tells me and I could tell by his face that he really meant it. “You can either go back inside and talk with that guy, you know give him your statement- let the legal system work it out or I'm gonna handle it.” He says and I looked at him unsteadily. “-my way.” He adds and I shook my head at him.

“Does your way involve a bat?” I ask and he grinned a little.

“Don’t you know it.” He replies and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Oh Bobby please.” I sigh a little. He was such a fool sometimes.

“I'm serious Elle. Decide.” He tells me and I shake my head no.

“No.” I tell him a little flustered as I tried to get up.

“You're going back in?” He asks and I shake my head no..

“No. No I'm not.” I say and he nodded like that was my decision. “And you're not gonna do anything either Bob.” I cry out and he kinda pushed me back down. “Bob please promise me.” I say starting to get a little hysterical…

“Just calm down for a second okay.” He tells me and I sniffled. “You're not going in?” He says softly and I shake my head no. “All right just close your eyes a second and relax.” He says and I do. I felt his hand on my cheek and I felt him lean over and kiss the top of my head. And then I could sense he was taking a step back and I opened my eyes. “You reconsidered?” He says.

“No.” I reply and he nodded.

“Just shut your eyes back then and think about it for a minute, okay.” He says looking over to the glass doors and waving Gerard over I guess. I couldn’t really see from where I was sitting. It had to be Gerard or Ray. I mean they were still inside… I shut my eyes like Bob asked, if only just to relax a moment. I mean there was nothing to think about. I wasn’t going to file a complaint or whatever the fuck they wanted me to do and there was no way Bob was gonna go confront Mr. S either…I mean its just not gonna happen. I wont let it. I'm just gonna have to keep a close eye on him until this whole thing blows over…

And it shouldn’t be too hard. I mean Mr. S won’t be in school anymore, so they really shouldn’t run into each other. I mean he’d have to go looking for him, and he doesn’t know where he lives… Aw fuck but Ray does. I wonder if Ray told them exactly where he picked me up yet?

I shot my eyes open just as Ray and Gerard was coming outside and Bob… Bob was gone… I looked over and his car was gone…Aw fuck… He tricked me… Telling me to shut my eyes so he could sneak off so I couldn’t stop him… Damn it!

“Where’s Bob?” Ray asks and I feel my eyes welling up with tears.

“I think he went after Mr. Samuel.” I say and Gerard kinda smiled.

“Gerard.” I sorta scolded him.

“Elle I'm not gonna pretend.” He says and I frowned a little. “Come on baby, lets just go okay?” He says taking my hand and I resisted.

“No Gerard we can’t leave.” I tell him and he cocked his head to the side a little.

“You wanna go back in and talk to the detective?” He says sounding surprised.

“No.” I scoff at him, he was distracting me… I was trying to add in my head.

“Then why?” He asks.

“Cause Gerard." I say a little annoyed like it was so obvious. "By the time we get home they're gonna be calling me to come back to bail my husband out of jail…”
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