FicWad

“Yeah and besides that I don’t know that Im ever gonna be able to lay in your bed again.” I added with out thinking and he scrunched his face at me like why would I say that. “Cause-” I start to point out and changed my mind. Its cause his bed is dirty now. Contaminated with Jades skanky germs. There was no way I was going to ever lay there knowing she was…

“Cause-?” He questions me and I lied to him..

“Cause yours is uncomfortable.” I shrugged and he took a deep drag from his cigarette and didn’t say anything as he flicked it out the window. He was slowing the car down and I looked up and we were in the parking lot of the hotel. It wasn’t the same one I was in before and I was glad.

“Elle wait.” Gerard paused as we started to get out. “Im real sorry about your mom.” He tells me and I just looked at him blankly.

“Gerard shes been dead for 6 years but thank you.” I replied and he sorta smiled but then quickly became somber again.

“No I mean about how she killed that guy. I just want you to know that that doesn’t mean any-” He began to say and I cut him off.

“Gerard my mom didn’t kill anyone they were wrong.” I insisted and he reached over and grabbed my hand now. We were still in the car and he was making no motion to get out so neither did I.

“Didn’t you hear what they said?” He tells me softly and I nodded. I did hear. Every single word of it. “They had proof your mom was there when the people were killed.” He reminds me and I shrugged. “Three shooters, three different guns.” He tells me and I shrugged once more.

”Then someone was holding two.” I tell him and he sorta made a face. “No Gerard. I'm sorry, my mother may have been there but she did not shoot anybody. I will never believe that.” I tell him and he stared at me for a moment. I guess he could tell that I was serious and decided it best to just let it go cause he sorta sighed and nodded as he started up the car.

“Then that means your father-“ He says and I snickered at him.

“Bullshit.” I muttered and he rolled his eyes at me.

“No Elle. I suppose Chris Hunter was holding all three guns.” He tells me and I frowned.

“I don't know.” I tell him clinging to my denial. “I guess I could I ask him.” I shrugged and Gerard shook his head in disagreement.

“Elle, I think you should stay away from him.” He says and my eyes teared up a little.

“Him? Who do you mean him?” I asked and he pressed his lips together as he shifted his eyes from me. He certainly wasn’t saying what I thought he was saying… was he?

“You know what I'm saying Elle.” He says purposely not looking at me as he spoke.

“Uh no, I don't think I do, cause it sounds like you're telling me to stay away from my father.” I tell him and he didn’t say anything. I felt my heart kind ache at his silence. “Gerard please, I understand he made a mistake and I’m not gonna hold it against him. I'm going to give him a chance. I'm gonna try to have some kind of a relationship with him, you do know that right?.” I asked and he nodded in agreement even though I know he didn’t agree with me. He didn’t like what I was saying, it was written all over his face. “I do kinda love him Gerard.” I added softly and Gerard exhaled a little before answering me.

“I know you do baby.’ He says softly. “I just don't know if he deserves it.” He says under his breath a little. I don't know if he didn’t mean for me to hear him, but I did…

“Wait, are you saying that you’re gonna hold it against him?” I asked widening my eyes at him.

“Hold what against him?” He says like he didn’t know what I meant.

“I don’t know! Anything! Everything! Whatever!” I cried out and he sorta frowned. “Gerard you need to tell me right now if this is gonna be something that’s gonna break us apart.” I say as I absentmindedly spun his ring on my finger. “You know how much I want a family. Don't make me choose like this.” I say sniffling my tears back a little and he quickly shook his head no.

“Elle no baby.” He says reaching for my hand. “I will support you always.” He tells me and I pressed my lips together as I contemplated his sincerity… “Whatever you want to do baby, I will back you up.” He says and I slowly looked up into his eyes.

“Really?” I asked foolishly and he smiled.

“Do I really need to answer that?” He says and I shook my head no. “Good. Now tell me what is it you would like to do?” He says and I thought for a second.

“I wanna take a nap.” I declared and he smiled a little to himself. “What?” He kinda chuckled. Oh fuck. I don't think he meant like right this second. I think he meant like more in general what did I wanna do with my dad and shit…

“Oh um, sorry.” I tell him and he shook his head a little at me like it was okay.

We went inside and Gerard went over to the desk to check in. I went and sat on the couch they had in the lobby. We were a good 40 minutes from home. I had never been here before. But hotels are hotels no matter what town you’re in. Always takes a few minutes to do the paperwork and crap and I was just so exhausted I didn’t have the energy to stand there and wait. I was staring out the window when Gerard came back over. I was surprised at how quick he came back and was going to say something but then he picked up my purse and started opening it.

“I just need your credit card.” He mumbled as he dug through it and I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure how much this place was gonna cost, but it had to be a lot if he needed my card. It meant he didn’t have enough.

I knew right then and there that money was always going to be an issue between us. The fact that I had some and he didn’t…Believe me the cops had went over my bank statements, my papas as well, looking for the money and it wasn’t there.

My papa was a shrewd businessman. Invested aggressively and did alright for himself. He wasn’t what you would call rich, but he was wealthy. His money was clean. He worked hard all his life for it. Made enough to secure his own future as well as his children‘s futures. The real American dream I suppose. Live well, live long and leave the rest to your legacy. I wasn’t much of a legacy though…

Most of the money I had, the money I would spend carelessly was from my mom. Or more specifically from the insurance company after my mom died. My papa had sued them for her misdiagnosis and her improper treatment amongst other things and they settled, so in a way that money was clean but not really.

Maybe this is why my life is such a mess. Cause of how I spend money. Cause of where the money came from. It may not be tainted with blood like the missing 25 mil but its tainted with my moms cancer that’s for sure.

I wanted to ask Gerard about it when we got up to our room. I needed his opinion but I didn’t want to be discussing it in the lobby, or the elevator. He seemed to want to say something to me but must’ve felt the same way cause once again it was silent until we stepped into the room and shut the door.

“Elle Im sorry about bow-bow” Gerard finally spoke and I smiled at his silliness.

“Oh, I don’t care about him anymore.” I rolled my eyes a little as I looked over the room. It was nice. I mean it was a hotel room. Nothing fancy about it. Just a bed a tv, a little fridge. “I mean really hes not important to me like you are.” I squeezed his hand a little and then let it go as I made my way to the fridge. I didn’t get in trouble at the last hotel for being underage and emptying the mini bar. And I really needed something to take the edge off of the day. “Plus it will keep them busy.” I laughed a little and he looked at me curiously. “The cops Gerard. Let em spend the next 24 hours examining poor baby bow-bow, theyre not gonna find anything but stuffing” I point out and he chuckled too.

“Yeah I guess.” He shrugged as I opened the fridge. Damn. It was empty. “What are you doing huh?” He seemed to be annoyed with me checking the fridge. He didn’t like me getting fucked up when things got bad. But I wasn’t really looking to get fucked up was I?

“Old habits die hard?” I suggest and he smiled a little.

“Naw baby, you said you wanted to come here and nap – now nap…” He commands me to the bed and I smiled to myself. He kicked off his shoes at the foot of the bed and looked over at me. “Come on.” He says and I bit my lip a little.

“I changed my mind.” I say weakly and he laughed.

“Naw you said you wanted a nap now you're getting a nap.” He cries out grabbing me and swiftly tossing me down onto the bed.

“Gerard!” I gasped as he pinned me underneath him.

“Nap.” He orders me and I laughed as he shifted on top of me.

He sorta slid down a little and was snuggling his head against my chest, like I was his pillow. I wrapped my arms around him and my eyes absentmindedly scanned the room.

“What you want to leave now?” Gerard asks me I guess thinking I wasn’t comfortable here.

“Um no.” I sighed and he glanced around the room too.

“We could go back to my house.” He offers and I shook my head no. He had kind of rolled off of me now and was laying next to me.

“No I told you not until you get a new bed.” I tried not to whine but it was hard.. “You need to get a new bed Gerard.” I tell him and he sorta laughed.

“I don't need a new bed Elle.” He rolled his eyes at me.

“You do, yours sucks!” I cried out and he sat up a little annoyed. Maybe it was the cost of it I don’t know… “I mean how can you even sleep on it? Its awful.” I carry on.

“I don't know Elle, it was fine last night.” He says and I felt like the wind was knocked out of me…Last night? He slept in his bed last night with her?

“Wait you slept in your bed last night? With that fucking coke slut? Are you kidding me?” I spat at him and before he could even answer me I reached over and knocked him right off the edge of the bed, he wasn’t expecting it and he fell hard.

“Fuck, it was just a figure of speech!” He mumbled as he sat up a little on the floor. I looked over at him a little untrustingly. “Shit Elle.” He kinda muttered as he rubbed the side of his head and he looked at me like he was kinda amused.

“I don't think its funny.” I tell him which made him smile.

“Uh obviously.” He replied and I leant over the side of the bed and reached for him.

“mmm you okay?” I said lowering my voice down innocently and he shrugged. I mean he knew I was trying to bat my eyelashes out of this one so to speak and he wasn’t gonna let me… I mean he was gonna let me, he just wanted to give me a hard time about it. “Come on back up here.” I tell him patting the bed and he hesitantly did. “I'm sorry baby it was an accident.” I tell him and he sorta smiled at me.

“Now you're lying?” He pretended to gasp and I laughed.

“I am not!” I protested and he reached over to tickle me.

“Another lie!” He exclaimed teasing me. “You know I never realized how green your eyes were, lemme see.” He leant over me and I tried to push him away.

“Stop Gerard.” I sighed looking up at ceiling. It was so hard for me not to smile at him. And he was leaning over so his face was in mine but I wouldn’t look at him. I just stared up at the ceiling instead. I heard him laugh under his breath at me as he smushed my face in his hands. I mean he grabbed my cheeks and squeezed my lips and I cried out his name in protest, but it came out all smushed sounding like ‘Geward.’

“Stop!” I pushed his hand down and he laughed before kissing my lips lightly.

“I love you Elle.” He says softly and I felt my heart swell at his words but then he kept talking. “Even though you're insane.” He added and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Oh Gerard you have such a way with words!” I teased him and he smiled.

“Its true.” He says and I nodded.

“That’s why I said it.” I tell him and he laughed.

“No that you're insane.” He corrects me and my jaw dropped open a little.

“What?” I gasped.

“You knocked me off the bed!” He cries out. “And it wasn’t an accident.” He sorta laughed but I frowned. “Seriously Elle, you gotta stop with the jealously shit.” He says and I made a face at him.

“I am not jealous.” I crossed my arms on my chest and he arched his eyebrows up at me.

“Okay then why did my ass end up on the floor?” He says and I shrugged like I didn’t know. “Okay then how bout why do I need a new bed?” He asks and I pouted.

“Cause.” I replied and he waited for me to go on, but I had nothing else to say. “Just cause.” I tell him and he nodded like my lame answers was proof he was right! Ha! “Cause your bed is old and dirty.” I tell him and he tried not to smile.

“Nothing to do with Jade?” He says and I shrugged.

“Gerard just cause your bed is old and dirty and so is she-“ I start to say and he gasped a little.

“Elle!” He cried out like I was saying something outrageous, but I wasn’t… it was true…

“Its true.” I tell him and he sighed a little.

“So you're not jealous of Jade?” He says and I cringed at her name. “Or Jessica or anyone? You don't see this? You don’t see a problem?” He says and I shook my head no.

“Okay first of all Jade is a dirty little coke slut, and Jessica is a two faced bitch so I don't see why you would think I’d be jealous of either one of them!” I tell him bluntly. “And the only problem I see is the fact that you pick these kinda skanks to hang around with.” I tell him and he grinned.

“You got some fucking mouth on you Elle” He scolded me once more and I giggled. His words were strong but he was grinning like it amused him.

“Yeah, and?” I taunted him and he reached to undo his belt buckle as he looked at me.

“Yeah and?” He mimicked me back “and I got a real good use for it…”