Categories > TV > Angel
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It's About the Change
(#) Ithilwen 2006-04-17
It sort of sounds like Wesley has slim, long-fingered hands.
Your tenses could use some work, "Now it was out of the way." "Her expressions were less fluid than they had been."
"intradimensional" This means "within one dimension, not crossing dimensions." Finally, they get as much press as the interdimensional once.
Artifacts, not artefacts.
Insightful, but a bit vague. It's hard to tell what's on Wesley's mind or what's important to him. Although Spike's character voice comes through loud and clear, it's hard to tell if he's confused or oblivious when he says, "What?" after the monkey shows up.
The sight gags would be funnier if I could see them more clearly. It's not too easy to tell when Spike's outfit is changing.
"All About the Changes," had me thinking that Lorne would be important (changes in key/chord).
I particularly like Spike showing his pre-vamped face.
Overall, I'd say the opening few paragraphs are good, but they don't set the stage well. These are crazy happenings regarding Spike's spectral fashion sense. Wesley regarding Kandace regarding his expensive car imply that the story's going to be about Wesley soul-searching and us finding out about Kandace;s/the coffee shop's mysterious business problems. The story I get is okay, but it's not the one I was told to expect.Author's response
'Artifacts' is the American spelling.
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