FicWad

"Uh...didn't you like that song, Nikki?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Nikki clearly saw through me because he turned and took my chin in his hands, "Amy, please don't try to avoid my question. I just wanna know what happened, okay? I don't trust that bastard. Tell me what he did to you."
"Fine," I replied, gazing into Nikki's handsome face. "We made up. There's not much more to say than that." Nikki gave me an incredulous look, "Uh huh," he replied sarcastically. "That's all that happened. Ugh, just tell me, Amy. I want the details. You're gonna end up telling me eventually. Might as well get it over with then, right?" Nikki was right; I usually ended up telling him everything. That's what a best friend was for, right?
"Well, I sorta yelled at Vince for a while. He told me he really loved me though, Nikki. And he actually teared up when I accused him of using me," I told Nikki, remembering the scene from earlier. Nikki just snorted, "Honestly, Amy, I'd think you'd know better by now. You don't actually trust Vince Neil...do you?" I remained silent and looked at my red toenails.
"Anyways," Nikki continued, "go on. What happened next?" I shrugged, "not much really. I felt guilty and made up with him basically." Nikki frowned at me, "Yeah, I know. You already told me. I meant to ask if you two were together again. Don't try to pretend that you two didn't do anything in there. I could see your lipstick all over Vince's mouth and neck. I'm not blind."
"I....see," I replied, flushing with embarrassment. "We're not really together. We're just gonna try to be friends from on." Nikki rolled his eyes and gave me an expression that told me that he obviously didn't believe me, "Amy, you know that's not gonna work. Vince wants you and you're playing right into his little plan for you. Can't you see this guy is dangerous? He gets drunk quite frequently, has sex with other girls while he's married, and is obviously cheating you and his wife."
"Vince isn't dangerous!" I exclaimed indignantly. "I see you don't want us together, Nikki. But honestly, you're being a hypocrite. No offense, but I know how much you drink as well. Besides you've probably fucked ten different girls in the last few months which is probably more than Vince. So don't you dare try to make Vince look evil. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were jealous of us because you don't have a girlfriend at the moment."
Nikki gave me a strange expression and just stared at me. I shifted uncomfortable, wishing we'd reach my house soon. Finally, Nikki spoke, "Okay, fine, I won't try to change your opinion of me. You think I'm just as bad as Vince if not worse, don't you? But never mind that now. Don't you see the way Vince looks at you? He looks like a rattlesnake ready to sink his teeth into you."
"Nikki, I stay completely out of your love life. Can't you just stay out of mine?" I pleaded, starting to get fed up with this conversation. All Nikki was doing was making me feel guilty for cheating Vince's wife in a sense. But Vince loved me and I loved him so it didn't matter...or did it?
"I'm not trying to pry," Nikki replied. "I can see where your relationship with Vince is heading though. But first answer me this: you don't want Vince to fuck you, do you?"
"Geez Nikki! Why do you need to ask all these personal questions?" I burst out. Nikki merely stared at me and waited for me to answer his question. Seeing that the question was unavoidable, I answered, "Well, yeah, I do want him to. But just not while he's married. That just wouldn't be right."
"Exactly," Nikki agreed. "That's my point." I looked over at Nikki with a confused expression on my face, "I don't get it. What's your point?" Nikki sighed, "I would think it would be obvious. Your relationship with Vince is obviously leading to sex. All relationships do. You don't want to do it with Vince while he's married though. Vince doesn't care and wants it anyways. Can't you see that you're gonna get raped, Amy? Vince will get drunk one night, lose control, and you'll wish you'd never have met him."
"Nikki, this is going way too far," I replied angrily. "This is just some silly assumption of yours. You don't know Vince at all. You've hated him from the moment he joined the Crue for no good reason. He's a really sweet guy. You just haven't taken the time to get to know him. I'm not going to discuss these pathetic ideas with you anymore."
"It's not that I hate Vince for no good reason," Nikki replied defensively. "I do have my reasons, you know. Now you're the one with the assumptions." I rolled my eyes at Nikki, "How can you have reasons for hating someone that you've never ever met? It's not like Vince has a bad reputation or anything. Besides, you wanted him as part of the Crue. So if you actually want me to believe that you have reasons for hating Vince, you're gonna have to tell me what they are."
Nikki colored and quickly hit the "mute" button the radio again so that the car was suddenly filled with raucously loud music. I narrowed my eyes at Nikki, "I'm waiting."
"I'm not gonna tell you, Ames," Nikki replied resolutely. "It's not something you need to know. Besides, it's none of your business anyway." I grabbed Nikki's tattooed arm and forced him to look over at me, "Oh, I see. So you get to know every single one of my secrets, but I don't get to know any of yours? That's just great, Nikki. I see how strong our friendship really is."
At that moment, we reached my house and Nikki pulled into the driveway. Nikki took my hand as I started to get out of the passenger seat, "Amy, don't be mad, okay? I'm only trying to help you." I narrowed my eyes at him and replied sarcastically, "Sure, you are." With that said, I exited the car and slammed the door shut behind me. Nikki had really been getting on my nerves. He had pried for all my secrets and I had told him every single one of them. But when I asked just to know one secret of Nikki's, he denied me. Really, how fair was that?


Two weeks later, I sat on the couch in the living room with Nikki. My heart was racing with excitement and I kept looking at my watch. I had forgiven Nikki for his earlier offenses and we were as good of friends as ever. Tonight, the Crue and I were going out to celebrate the first Motley Crue album that was released today. It was called "Too Fast for Love." The Crue had done an amazing job on it. Everyone was in a good mood and wanted to celebrate.
We had all agreed to meet at my house since Tommy's parents were having company over. I hadn't been too pleased at this idea. No matter how I had tried, my parents had refused to go out. And to my utmost annoyance, they were hanging out in the living room to monitor everything I said and did.
But even my parents couldn't ruin my good mood. I had dressed up and was wearing a skimpy dark burgundy dress. It was strapless to reveal most of my cleavage and the skirt ended six inches above my knee. Impulsively, I reached over and squeezed Nikki's hand excitedly. Nikki squeezed mine in return and gave me a genuine smile that seemed to light up his whole face.
I was starting to get slightly impatient. The rest of the Crue was suppose to be here ten minutes ago, but there was still no sign of Tommy, Mick, or Vince. The sooner we left my house, the better. I shot an irritated glance over my shoulder at my parents. It was annoying to have them watching me and Nikki so closely. Their gaze was glued onto us like a hawk eying it's prey.
"Nikki?" I asked, finally getting fed up with my parents to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. "Let's wait for the others outside, shall we? I think it's a nice day out." Nikki shot a glance outside. Dark thunderclouds were hanging over the sky and the wind was pounding fiercely against the trees. Nikki gave me a funny glance. I looked at my parents and then back at Nikki, hoping he would get the hint. Luckily Nikki understand, and stood up, "Sure."
I shivered excitedly as Nikki extended a hand to me. I took it and shot a devilish glance behind me at my parents as the two of us walked out into the cool spring day. I peered over at Nikki as we stood together on the front porch. Nikki looked so handsome in his silver-studded black jacket and with his crazy black hair flying in the breeze.
I could feel my conscious prodding me to say something to Nikki. Here we were; completely alone and undisturbed. It would be the perfect time to confess my love for him. After all, he was in a really good mood at the moment, which was rare for Nikki these days. I summoned all the courage in my body and began to speak, "Um...Nikki? There's something I want to tell you."
Nikki peered down at me and gave me a quizzical look, "Alright. What would you like to tell me?" I stared into his pitch black questioning eyes and felt my body go numb.
"Amy?" Nikki asked again when I didn't say anything. I opened my mouth and began to speak, just as three cars came whizzing towards or driveway. Tommy pulled up into our driveway right now to Nikki and me and pulled down his window, "Hey guys! It's awesome to see you!" Tommy jumped out of the car and came over and gave Nikki a hug, "Can you believe it? Our first album is out!" Mick and Vince quickly exited their cars and joined us.
I could see Vince was looking at me closely. His eyes wandered from my legs, up to my chest, and then to my face. He reached down and gave me lips a soft kiss, "You look so sexy in that little dress, girl." I blushed as he wrapped his arm around my waist in a protective sort of way.
Mick cleared his throat rather loudly, "So where are we gonna go tonight?" Tommy and Nikki shrugged. Vince ripped his gaze from my lips and looked up at the group, "We could go to Tropicana," he suggested. "It's a pretty nice club and at least it's nearby." Tommy's eyes lit up, "I've never been there before. Let's go, shall we?" Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Lead the way, Vince," Mick directed, climbing back into his dilapidated chevy truck. "We'll follow you there." Vince nodded agreeably and reached down to grab my hand, "Sure. You can ride with me, Amy."
I trailed Vince to his car and popped into the passenger seat next to him. Vince revved up the car and then tossed a look over at me, "It's so good to be going on a real date with you, sweetheart. I've wanted to do this with you for a long time."
"Me too," I answered excitedly. I liked the way he had said "real" date. "What about your wife though?" Vince's face temporarily clouded over before he answered, "She's at home. Told her I was gonna go celebrate all night with the Crue."
"Wasn't she suspicious at all?" I asked, giving Vince an incredulous glance. Vince colored slightly, "I dunno. I doubt she cares though. I'll probably go home to find her sleeping with some guy she's been hanging out with from her work. Anyways, lets not worry about that now, all right? All that matters tonight is you and me." I reached over and pressed my lips against his neck.
Vince pulled over suddenly into a little parking lot, "Here we are! Wanna go in or wait for the others?" I thought for a moment before answering him, "Let's wait for the others, shall we?" Vince shrugged, "Whatever you want." The two of us walked around to the front of the building to wait for Mick, Tommy, and Nikki. The building had "Tropicana" lit up on orange and yellow letters on front of the building. I was peering up at the sign when I felt Vince's strong arms pull me against him. I glanced over at him to see that he was staring down the front of my dress.
"Vince, what are you doing?" I asked him in a warning tone. Vince sheepishly met my eyes, "You're so irresistible." I was instantly reminded of Nikki's warning from a while back. I couldn't help but feel slightly anxious; I had never been to a club like this before. Vince and I could barely keep our hands off each other and the night had barely begun. I tried to tell myself I was being silly. Vince was kind and gently; he'd never do anything to hurt me...right?
Three pairs of bright headlights came into view. Nikki honked at us in greeting as he pulled up next to Vince's car. I waved back as the three joined us in front of the building.
"Wow, you sure drive fast, Vince!" Tommy exclaimed as he reached for the door. "I had to drive about ten miles over the speed limit. And even then I couldn't keep up with you!" Vince laughed and rolled his eyes as we entered the building. Blasting rock music instantly met our ears as we tromped inside. The first thing I noticed was that the Tropicana was packed. Masses upon masses of people were all crammed into the one room. Most of the people there seemed to be in between the ages of eighteen and thirty. My eyes widened as I gazed at some of the girls nearby us. They all seemed to have perfect bodies and the appeared to have put at least five pounds of makeup on their faces. All of them were wearing really skimpy, revealing garb. A girl next to me was wearing a top that barely covered her breasts.
Nikki and Tommy were looking around the room as if they had died and gone to heaven. I frowned sulkily as Nikki gazed at the other girls. I wished he would gaze at me in that sort of way.
"Come on, wanna find a table?" Mick asked as we all gazed curiously around the room. Tommy averted his eyes from all the girls giving him sexy glances and replied to Mick, "Sure, Mick. Lead the way!" The five of us made are way through the tight crowd until we found a table at the right corner of the room. I dropped my purse onto one of the chair and took a seat.
"Can I bring you something to drink, Amy?" Vince asked in a polite fashion. I shrugged, "Sure, why not?" Vince motioned for the rest of the Crue to follow him, "Come on, boys. I'll show you where the bar is." I watched the four until they disappeared and became one with the masses of people.
Suddenly, I became aware of a man on my left who was staring at me curiously. I shot a glance at him out of the corner of my eye. To my surprise, he was actually kinda cute. He was an average height, had short blonde hair, and tan skin. The man caught my gaze and flashed me a perfect smile with his pearly white teeth. I couldn't resist smiling back at him. It was fun to flirt with guys I didn't know. I couldn't even remember the last time I had flirted with a guy for that matter.
"Hey everyone!" a voice sounded over the loudspeaker, "we have a special treat for you tonight. A local band, Motley Crue, has assented to play songs from their newly released album for us tonight." A roar of appluase rose from the room. I sat in complete shock; nobody had told me that the Crue was gonna play for the club tonight. It would be a good way for them to get publicity. I couldn't help but feel a little put out though. I had hoped to spend the entire night with Nikki or Vince. Oh well, at least I could flirt with the handsome blonde guy to my right.
It was only then that I realized that there was a stage on the far left side of the club. Tommy was sitting behind a drum set, Nikki and Mick had set up their guitars, and Vince was adjusting the microphone. It wasn't long before I heard the familiar intro to "Live Wire." I found my eyes glued onto Vince as he began to sing. There was just something about that man that I desired.
"Um, excuse me," a soft voice cut into my daydreams, "Do you mind if I sit here?" I jumped, surprised that someone was talking to me. I turned to see the blonde guy I had been crushing on earlier. I gave him a seductive smile and pulled out one of the chairs for him, "Yeah, of course, take a seat." He took the chair next to me, "What's your name? I'm Kevin."
"Amy," I replied, "it's nice to meet you Kevin." I had to speak loudly because it was starting to get quite loud in the room. Several girls were dancing around the room, couples were drinking, and the Crue was playing as loudly as they could. I was shocked and rather surprised when I saw one of the girls strip her shirt off and wave it around her head. It was then that I realized that we were at a strip club. I bit my lip nervously. I didn't mind being her; I just didn't want to have to do anything like that myself.
I did my best to ignore the club and focus on Kevin. Before I knew it, we were both enthralled in a conversation about college. I was surprised to find out that he went to the same college as I did. I was just asking him what he was majoring in when I heard loud footsteps coming from behind me. Whipping around, I saw the Crue members making their way back to my table with several beers in their hands. I hadn't even noticed that they had stopped playing! Glancing at my watching, I figured that it had been two hours since we had arrived here. Times sure flys!
Kevin looked over at the Crue apprehensively, "Are you with them?" I nodded, "Yeah, they're my buddies." Kevin quickly stood up, "I'd best be going in that case then." I tried to grab his hand before he disappeared in the crowd, "No, please don't leave!" But of course, he had already been swallowed up in the sea of people. I pouted sulkily and didn't even notice when the Crue had arrived back at my table. Tommy shot me an excited look, "How was it, Amy?" I blinked and tried to forget about Kevin, "It was great, Tommy! I didn't know you guys were gonna be playing tonight."
"I didn't know either," Mick commented. "Vince surprised us." Vince smiled, "Hey, surprises are always fun. Besides, it'll give us publicity...and maybe more than that." Several girls were circling our table, trying to catch the guys' eyes. Nikki took a quick gulp of his beer before standing up. I could see he was looking at a tall red-head with emerald green eyes. I felt myself turn bright green with jealousy. I would give anything to switch lives with that girl tonight.
"I'll be back in a while guys," Nikki alerted us as he approached the girl. It wasn't long before Tommy and Mick also left the table. Even after they had left, several girls still stood around the table fluttering their eyes seductively at Vince. Vince didn't really seem to be looking at them though. He drank three bottles of whatever drink was in his bottle and slid his arm around my waist. I leaned into his shoulder and yawned. It had been a long night and it was starting to get late. I started zoning out; forgetting the loud music and people that seemed to be everywhere.
I jerked out of my drowsiness when a new song started up. It was at least five notches louder than the last song they had played. As my eyes cleared, I saw that several girls had now stripped down and were making out with the guys. Just then, I saw a sickening site that would stay with me for the rest of my life. Nikki had knocked the red-headed beauty to the ground and was now fucking her with their clothes on. I couldn't help but stare at them. I noticed that several other couples were doing the same thing. But...this was my Nikki! How could he do this to me?
I was so mesmerized by Nikki and his girl that I didn't notice that Vince had taken my hand and was leading me through the crowd. I followed him, still thinking about Nikki. I was busy contemplating what would happen if I stripped off my shirt and flirted with Nikki. Maybe he would finally noticed me then?
Click! I heard the lock of a door and turned around. Suddenly, I realized that Vince and I were in a small, darkened room. Spiderwebs were hanging spookily from the ceiling and dust was piled up on the floor.
"Uh, Vince?" I asked anxiously, "What are we doing here? Where is this place?" Vince whirled me around so that my back was against the wall farthest from us, "Just a little place I know of," Vince slurred. He was so drunk that I could barely understand what he was saying. I tried to inch away from the wall, "Let's go back to where we were, Vince."
"Not so fast," Vince replied as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and kissed me rather aggressively on my mouth. Of course, I was unable to control myself as usual, and found myself urgently kissing him back. Vince's mouth traveled to my neck while his hands started creeping under the top of my dress. I leaned closer to him and didn't even bother resisted until after I had noticed Vince had pulled off my top and was undoing my bra.
"Vince!" I said as sharply as I could, trying to pull away from him. "We weren't going to do this, remember? We're...just friends." My words sounded fake even to my own ears. It was obviously Vince and I were more than friends. Vince didn't reply to my question, instead he fastened his lips to one of my nipples.
I attempted to push him away from me, "Vince, we can't. We already agreed on that, remember? You said we could be whatever I wanted us to be..." I trailed off, unsure if Vince was listening or not. Vince met my eyes with his blurred ones. He seemed unable to focus on me. Finally he spoke again in a slurred voice, "Aw, come on, Amy. You know you want this as much as I do." Vince slipped a hand under my skirt. I bit my lip frantically, completely unsure of what to do. In a swift motion, Vince stripped me completely. I could feel him start to stroke my private parts.
"Don't do this to me...please..." I begged, starting to shake against the wall. Vince appeared not have heard a word I had said. He pressed me against the wall and touched every part of me. I moaned softly as he slid a hand between my legs. I started to drip as he began licking my naked chest.
My eyes searched every inch of the small room. There seemed to be no escape; there was only one door and it was locked. Nikki had been right about Vince after all. I shut my eyes tightly; Vince Neil would rape me. There was no more to it than that. I didn't blame Vince; he was only doing this because he was drunk. At least...I hoped he was only doing it for that reason.
I squeezed my eyes shut; I didn't really want to see what Vince would do to me. True, I loved him and I wanted love from him. But I didn't want him to force himself upon me or fuck me while he was married. Was that really that much to ask?
Vince knocked me rather aggressively to the floor and straddled me. I could feel his hot breath that smelled of beer on my cheek. My head hit the hard, wooden floor with an ominous clunking noise. Pain seemed to split my skull in half and I gave a little whimper of pain. Of course, Vince made no response.
I had given up hope completely when suddenly the door to our little room burst open; Nikki. Vince stumbled away from me unsteadily and pushed past Nikki out the door. Nikki took one look at the scene that he encountered and grabbed Vince roughly by the arm, "Don't think you're just gonna get away with this," Nikki snarled angrily. "I don't forget things easily." Vince's usually clear blues eyes were glazed over as he shrugged past Nikki out of the little closet.
As soon as Vince left the room, I slid down against the wall; completely out of energy. I had no strength left in my body. I was shaking violently and I felt tears streaking down my cheeks. Why I was acting like this, I did not know. It wasn't as if Vince had really hurt me although my head was sending pain down my spine.
I curled up in a little ball in the corner; trying to just forget the world. Sometimes it seemed as if nothing in my life ever turned out right. I studied hard for college and was still getting Bs. I had tried my best to become beautiful and skinny and all I had done was become an ugly, anorexic girl. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me for who I was. I didn't want people to love me for my sex or body. I wasn't a barbie doll; I was a person with feelings and emotions. Did Vince not realize that?
Suddenly, I remembered that Nikki was standing in the doorway. I turned my tear-streaked face to the door to meet his eyes. Nikki had one foot inside the door. He hesitated before stepping inside and shutting the door quietly behind him. I pulled my knees up to my chest in an attempt to hide my completely naked figure. This was definitely not the time for Nikki to see me like this. I peered up at him nervously to see what he would do.
I could tell Nikki was doing his best not to stare at my body. He crossed the room to me in less than two strides and sat down on the floor next to me. I started shaking even more and the sobs seemed to rip themselves out of my throat. Nikki stared at me with sad expression on his face. I could tell that he wasn't sure what to do.
Finally, he couldn't resist any longer, and threw his arms around me and brought me against his chest. I huddled close to him and cried into his shoulder. Nikki smoothed the hair back from my face, "Oh Ames..." he started, but never finished his sentence. For the first time, I tried to attempt a smile as I looked into his melancholy eyes, "Whatever you d-do, please don't tell me, 'I told you so.' Y-you w-were right after all."
Nikki ran a hand up and down my back, "I'd never say that. Did he hurt you at all?" Nikki asked, pulling away from me for a moment to get a good look at me. I shrugged, "He didn't hurt me really..." I put a hand to my head. I had a feeling I would get a large bump from where I had crashed to the ground. To my surprise, would I pulled my head away, it was sticky with blood.
Nikki grabbed my hand and studied it with concern. He put a hand lightly on my head to detect the cut. When he pulled away, his hand was dripping crimson as well. Nikki wiped the blood on his black pants and turned to me, "How'd you get this cut, Amy? Does it hurt a lot? I heard a loud crash before I found you here. Did Vince hit you?"
"No, no," I replied quickly. "He wouldn't ever hit me!" Nikki gave me a look that basically said that he thought I was crazy, "Amy, Vince was going to rape you; he could easily have hit you." I blushed and knew deep inside myself that Nikki was absolutely right. It was strange to think of Vince in that way though. To me, he had been a blonde haired, blue-eyed angel. But tonight, all that had changed. I shuddered and leaned in closer to Nikki.
"You never answered my question," Nikki probed gently. "How did you get cut?"
"Uh, Vince kinda knocked me over and I guess my head kinda smashed into the wall," I tried to smile through the pain that was filling my mind. "And yeah...it does hurt quite a bit." Nikki nodded understandingly, "We need to get you out of here so we can bandage your head up. God, Amy, you're so prone to accidents. But nevermind that now." Nikki peered uncomfortably at my stripped body lying limply in his arms. "Uh...you should probably get your shirt back on before I help you upstairs. Erm...do you need my help? You seem pretty weak."
That was true; I was feeling quite weak at the moment. But the last thing I wanted was for Nikki to see every private part of my body. At least when I was huddled up, I could cover most of myself up.
"I'm fine," I replied untruthfully. "Turn around a second while I get dressed." Nikki slowly nodded with an indecisive expression on his face, "I doubt you're fine, but okay. If you feel weak like you're gonna faint, let me know, alright?" I didn't have enough breath to reply to Nikki. After he turned so he was facing the door, I snatched up my bra and panties from the corner and slipped them on. I pulled my skirt on and then reached for my top. To my dismay, it had a big rip down the front. I put it on anyways, but it didn't cover up any of my chest at all. I tried holding it together with my hands, but to no avail.
"Uh, Nikki?" I asked in a weak voice, still holding the two halves of my top together. Nikki turned around and instantly saw my problem. Nikki's eyes squinted evilly, "I'm gonna kill Vince once I'm able to get my hands on him for hurting you like this." Nikki stripped off his black and silver studded coat and helped fasten it around me.
"No, you're not gonna kill Vince," I retorted with as much strength as I was able to muster. "You're just gonna act like none of this happened. We're all gonna just forget about tonight and go on with life. Okay Nikki? Besides, he didn't really hurt me. Well, besides for my head that is," I added as a spasm of pain ran down my body. Nikki gave me a dubious look, "Amy, he hurt you bad. He hurt you physically and no offense, but you're a wreck emotionally now. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't trust another guy for the rest of your life."
I gave Nikki a shaky laugh, "Nikki, I'm a trusting person. I'm not gonna hold this against Vince. He just had too much to drink...it happens." Nikki sighed, "Let's discuss this later, Ames. You're not thinking straight right now. Come on, let's get you outta here." Nikki slipped one arm underneath my knees and another one beneath my back so he was holding me tightly against his chest. I sighed contentedly and buried my head into his chest. I had resolved to do my best to forget all about tonight. I couldn't wait to get back to my house and collapse onto my bed and float away in my dreams.
Ear-splitting music jerked my eyes wide open. We were back into the main room where several couples were now making out or fucking each other. Nikki pushed roughly around the groups of people, trying to shield me from the curious stares. After what seemed like an eternity, and after I thought my head was about to split open, Nikki and I finally reached the door. Nikki forcefully pushed the door open and a wave of cool, fresh air tumbled into us. I took a deep breath, thankful to get out of the hot, stuffy room.
"Oh my god!" a voice exclaimed from my right. "What happened to you, girl?" I turned to see Tommy gazing at me in horror. I didn't see what he was so alarmed at. I blushed at the attention, "I'm fine, just a little tired. That's all."
"Um...no...you're not fine, Ames," Tommy replied, still staring at me. "You've got blooding dripping all down your face. What happened? Did you fall?" I quickly averted my face from Tommy and hastily tried to wipe the blood off my face.
"It was Vince," Nikki answered Tommy's question for me in a spiteful tone. Tommy gaze Nikki a questioning look, "Wait, what? What does Vince have to do with all of this?" Nikki gave Tommy a warning look, "I'll explain later. I just have to get Amy home right now, okay? I'll call you later."
"Well...okay..." Tommy replied hesitantly, still eying me with concern. With that said, Nikki quickly strode over and laid me gently in the back seat before sliding in the drivers' seat. As soon as Nikki pulled out of the parking lot, my body started shutting down. All I could think about was the searing pain in my head. Black dots started clouded my vision and before I knew it, I was engulfed in an unending sea of black.



"She'll be just fine, don't you worry about her," a woman's voice broke me out of my deep sleep. I stared around me curiously, trying to figure out where I was. A woman with a long white coat was leaning over me and talking to none other than my mother. My mom was rather pale and she was staring at me with concern.
"Can you go home when she wakes up?" my mom asked the woman bending over me. I presumed she was the nurse. I struggled up into a sitting position and turned to the nurse, "Why am I here?" The nurse gave me a kind smile, "You took quite a tumble last night. Your friend said you tripped and fell head first. How are you feeling right now, honey?"
I quickly remembered last night's events. My head felt rather numb, but there was no pain. The pain came straight from my heart. Trying not to think of Vince, I pasted a false smile on my face, "I feel great actually. Do I get to go home now?" The nurse studied me closely and glanced at the top of my head before speaking, Normally, we keep patients at least two nights. You seem to have recovered fast though, so I suppose you can go home. But if you feel dizziness, pain, or any other intense symptoms, call us immediately, okay?"
"Sure," I agreed, untangling myself from the sheets I was wrapped in on the hospital bed. I took my mom's extended hand and we walked down two flights of stairs before exitted the rather large hospital building. My mother and I walked in silence to her silver audi. I climbed into the passenger seat and waited for the inevitable lecture that would be sure to follow.
Sure enough, it started as soon as we were on the highway. My mother shot me a disappointed glance and spoke to me for the first time since we left the hospital, "I know your 'friend', Nikki, said that you tripped and fell. I'm not sure whether or not to believe that. But I do know that you've been hanging out with your friend's little band way too much. It's not good for you to be spending so much time with them. I'm starting to think that it's dangerous." My mom stared directly into my eyes. I quickly glanced away and felt myself blush slightly.
"Mom...I know you're my mother, but you can't make decisions for me," I replied as gently as I could, still refusing to meet her eyes. "You don't get to pick my friends for me. So let's not have this conversation, alright?" My mom tightened her lip into a thin line and hesitated before speaking, "Fine. Just think about it though. I'd hate for you not to take my advice and end up in ruins."
"Ruins?" I asked my mom in a shocked voice. "Honestly mom, these people are my friends. You're acting as if they're my enemies or something! Nikki's my best friend. He was the one of brought me to the hospital, remember mom?"
My mom shrugged in acknowledgment and then continued in a begrudging tone, "Your friends insisted on coming over to see how you were doing. I think they're in our living room right now as we speak. I'm afraid I'll just be able to drop you off at home though. I've gotta get to work, I'm already late." My mom glanced nervously at her watch as we wound through our subdivision until we reached our driveway. I quickly flung open the car door, "That's fine, mom. Have a nice time at work!"
As I slammed the car door shut, I got a good look at myself in the reflection. I looked hideous. My eyes were bloodshot and dark, my hair looked like a beaver's nest, and a very unattractive white bandage was wrapped around the back of my head. I turned back to the car shouted, "Mom, how long do I have to wear this stupid bandage thing for?" My mom paused in the driveway and yelled back, "I dunno. I'll call the doctor about it I guess. But don't you dare take it off!"
"Yes, mom," I agreed as she pulled out of the driveway. Slowly, I trudged up to my doorway. I couldn't decide if I wanted the Crue with me right now or not. Of course I wanted to spend time with Nikki, but I wasn't so sure if I could handle all the attention right now. Besides, I didn't want people staring at me when I looked so ugly.
Reluctantly, I placed a hand on the doorknob. I didn't really have a choice of whether or not I wanted to see my friends or not if they were all gathered in the living room already. Suddenly, a thought struck me; what if Vince was in there? I wasn't sure if I could face him right now without breaking into a thousand pieces. I couldn't decide how I felt towards the man after what he had attempted to do to me last night. But deep in the innermost part of my soul, I knew my feelings for him were still there. I loved him just as much as I did before. Like I had thought earlier, it wasn't really Vince's fault that he had gotten drunk. Well...it kind of was. But people act crazy when they get drunk so it wasn't really Vince who had attempted raping me. I knew I had to face him sooner or later. I just wasn't sure if I could face him today as I was in such a hurt emotional state.
Finally I summoned up all the courage I possessed, turned the doorknob, and stepped into my living room. Three figures leaped up from the couch and came rushing over to where I was standing. I laughed as they engulfed me in a gentle group hug.
"Amy!" Tommy exclaimed cheerily. "How are you feeling? I've been so worried about you." I shrugged; my head no longer hurt, but my emotional state was a different story. Nikki gave me a tender smile when I met his gaze. I returned his smile rather shyly. I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed and self-conscious after yesterday. I wondered what Nikki had thought of my body.
"My head's doing a lot better, Tommy," I finally replied. "But look at this freakin' bandage! Isn't it like the ugliest thing you've ever set eyes on?" Tommy leaned back to get a good look at me. After a moment he replied, "Aw, it's not that bad, Amy. You always make a big deal outta things like this. Come here and sit on the couch. You need your rest." I took Tommy''s outstretched hand and settled on the couch between him and Nikki.
We tried to talk about casual topics for a bit, avoiding the inevitable topic of my attempted rape. Finally, Nikki decided that he had to bring the subject up, "Erm...Amy?" I gave him a questioning look, "Yes, Nikki?" Nikki gazed at his hands and fidgetted slightly, "Vince wants to know if you'll talk to him..." I stared at Nikki in shock, "Right now? On the phone?" Nikki exchanged a nervous look with Tommy before continuing, "Not exactly. He's...um...outside." I jumped up from the couch and rushed over to the window to peer outside. Vince's familiar Porsche was in the driving. I collapsed onto the chair nearest me and buried my head in my hands. Nikki walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Amy? Are you alright?"
I slowly raised my head and gave Nikki a weak smile, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'll talk to Vince. But I want you guys to give us some privacy." Mick, Tommy, and Nikki opened their mouths in protest.
"That's really not a good idea," Nikki told me, his brow creasing in worry. The doorbell sounded; Vince. I gave Nikki a meaningful glance and waved him towards the backdoor. Nikki gave me a warning look before exitting the backdoor with Mick and Tommy following reluctantly behind him. As soon as they had left the room, I took a deep, steadying breath and opened the door.
Vince Neil stood in the doorway looking like a complete mess. His long blonde longs were tangled, his clothes were wrinkled, and his eyes seemed to carry the weight of the world. He shifted nervously in the doorway and asked in a cautious voice, "May I come in? If you want me to go away and never talk to you again, I'd understand that too..."
"No, no," I replied, moving aside so Vince could step inside. As soon as the door was shut, Vince looked me over, his eyes focusing on the bandage on my head.
"Oh Amy..." Vince started, "I'm so, so sorry...I never meant to. I guess I just got too drunk and I wanted you too badly and..." Vince trailed off, biting his lip nervously. "How can I make this up to you, Amy?" I sighed as I slumped down on the couch next to Vince. What did I want from Vince? I wanted his love, I couldn't deny that.
"I...I dunno," I replied, unsure of what to tell him. I gazed into his clear blue eyes. In them, I saw pain and remorse. Vince returned my gaze, "Aren't you mad, Amy? You should be yelling at me or cursing at me or something. I can't take this. What I did to you was unforgivable. I hurt you in so many ways."
"I'm not mad really," I replied truthfully. "You were drunk; you didn't know better. What I really want is for someone to love me for who I am though. Not just for my body. I want them to actually have feelings for me and I don't want them to throw me away after a night in bed." Vince gave me a pained look, "I really do love you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"I...I've always loved you, Vince," I replied. Ever so slowly, I snuggled close to Vince, keeping my eyes locked on his. Vince looked shocked, but put an arm around me and brought him close to me. I suddenly came to a realization; ever since the attempted rape, I was craving love from someone even more.
Unsure of whether or not I was making a good decision, I gently brushed my lips upon Vince's in a soft kiss. Vince met my mouth and we kissed each other gently. We stayed like that for a long time. I forgot all about the scenario from last night. I just let myself be drowned in Vince's kisses. That was simply all I needed at the moment.


Finally after about a half hour had passed, the backdoor opened and footsteps sounded from behind us. I ignored the footsteps and continued meeting Vince's mouth. Vince slowly broke apart from me as the footsteps approached us. I reluctantly stopped kissing him and turned to face the invaders.
Tommy and Mick were giving us incredulous glances. Nikki glanced down at me leaning against Vince on the couch, "Shit." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at us. I felt myself squirm under Nikki's murderous gaze. Nikki continued gazing at us. After what seemed like forever, he turned towards Vince, "I want you to stay away from her. You two have made up apparently, but it's not gonna work. Amy doesn't seem to realize the severity of what you tried to do to her the other night, but I do. You two can't be together. This is just plain sickening to watch!" Nikki turned on his heel and stomped into the kitchen.
Vince and I exchanged apprehensive looks. Vince bit his lip and misery filled his gorgeous eyes, "You know Amy, maybe Nikki's right after all. Maybe I should stay away from you." Vince's eyes rested on the bandage on my head. It was obvious he felt guilty for trying to rape me. Couldn't Nikki see that and just stay out of my love life?
I forget that Mick and Tommy were watching us. I grabbed Vince's left wrist and leaned close to him so he was forced to look up into my eyes, "Whatever you do, don't leave me Vince. Please...I beg you." I really couldn't live without him at the moment. I had never had someone be in love with me before. Losing Vince would be the worst thing that could happen to me.
Vince hesitated and avoided my eyes without speaking. My heart jolted and tears started to fill my eyes. I pushed them back with all the strength I contained, "Vince...you can't...not now..." I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly against me; willing him not to leave me. Vince's eyes softened affectionately, "Well...okay. Just don't expect to get rid of me anytime soon now!" Vince cracked me a small smile.
"I would never want to get rid of you," I replied, swiping the corner of Vince's lips with my mouth. Tommy and Mick exchanged uneasy glances and backed up so that they weren't intruding on our little love scene. I was starting to feel tired. Even too tired to makeout with Vince if that was even possible! My eyelids closed and I leaned against Vince, waiting to fall asleep.
Sleep didn't come though because at that moment, a voice called my name from the bedroom, "Amy? Get in here. I need to talk to you in private." That was definitely Nikki. Reproachfully, I opened my heavy eyelids and slowly got to my feet. I smothered a yawn with my arm and turned to Vince before leaving the living room to talk to Nikki, "I'll be right back. Don't leave, alright?" Vince gave me a small nod. I noticed him eying Mick and Tommy apprehensively. I hoped that they wouldn't discuss last night with Vince. He obviously felt bad enough. He just needed to be left alone.
I dragged myself through our hallway until I reached the bedroom. Nikki was sitting on the bed with his arms still crossed. Nervously, I took a seat next to him on the bed, "You wanted to speak to me?"
"Yeah, of course I want to talk to you!" Nikki burst out in a loud tone. I leaned slightly back from him, "Um...okay. So what did you want to say to me?" Nikki took a deep breath and looked at me condescendingly.
"Amy, just open your eyes for a second, will ya? This thing with you and Vince; it's just plain wrong! It shouldn't be. Vince is a bastard who's married and forces himself on young, innocent girls. You don't deserve him, Amy. I would've thought you couldn't noticed that after last night. Did I not say he would try to rape you?" Nikki probed, giving me an intense look.
"Fine, you did," I replied. I didn't really like having these discussions with Nikki. I knew he was my friend, but he didn't need to give me lectures like this. Tommy and Mick never did.
"Exactly. I can see what is coming, Amy. You and Vince are as different as night is from day. You're the angel and he's the devil. Amy, stay away from him. Promise me you will," Nikki commanded harshly. Anger was starting to creep through me; who was Nikki to tell me who I should stay away from and who I would be friends with? He most certainly did not have that right.
"Nikki, I can't promise you that. You can't ask for a girl to stay away from her lover. That's just plain cruel!" I shot back at him, narrowing my eyes. Nikki grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him, "Amy, get this through your thick mind; Vince is not your lover! What do I need to say or do to make you see that?"
Rage filled me at being called "thick minded". I slid off the bed and faced Nikki with my hands on my hips, "Nikki, what is it to you if Vince is my lover or not? Like I said earlier, it's not of your business! I want Vince and he wants me. Just stay out of this." Nikki jumped off the bed and looked down at me. I was quickly reminded of how he was over a foot taller of me.
Nikki glared at me and let out a string of curse words. Before I knew it, we were both shouting at each other in loud tones. The bedroom door popped open and Mick and Tommy analyzing the scene before them. Tommy grabbed Nikki's hand and pulled him away from me, "Okay, okay, break it up you two!" Nikki and I glowered at each other from across the room.
"What are you two arguing about?" Mick interceded curiously. Neither Nikki or I spoke. Neither of us really wanted to bring up the subject of my relationship with Vince. Tommy looked from me to Nikki and rolled his eyes, "This is about Amy and Vince, no doubt. Nikki, this really isn't any of your business, alright?"
"You're going to side with Amy?" Nikki shouted at Tommy angrily. "You would think that my best friend would side with me on this. Can't you see how stupid Amy is being, Tommy?" I lashed out at Nikki, "Geez, Nikki! You can't just go around calling me stupid! This is my life. I get to make my own decisions. Just fuck off, will you?"
"Why don't you stop being so fucking stupid?" Nikki yelled at me. I widened my eyes in shock; Nikki had never cursed at me before. I opened and closed my mouth, unsure of what to say. The bedroom door opened a second time and Vince entered the room, staring daggers at Nikki. He crossed the room in a few strides and wrapped an arm protectively around my shoulders, "You better not be cursing at my girl, Sixx!" I gave Vince a thankful glance. I was glad he was here to protect me.
"A little cussing might do her some good!" Nikki retorted. "It might knock some sense into her and besides, it doesn't hurt her. I don't get drunk and go around raping young girls, Vince!" Vince looked as if Nikki had punched him in the face. I took his hand and stroked it gently. Tommy pulled Nikki towards the door, "Enough, Nikki. Let's go."
Nikki shot one last look at Vince and me before turning and storming out of the room after Tommy, "Fine. I've had enough of this shit anyways!" Mick gave us a sympathetic glance, "Sorry about Nikki, guys. I'm sure he doesn't mean it. He's just...really protective of you, Amy." I shrugged, still in a shocked state. Mick waved to us and then followed Tommy and Nikki outside.
I took a deep breath and tried to stop the tears from streaming down my face. Nikki's words had hurt me. He had never gotten upset at me like this before. What caused him to get so upset now? Was he tired of being my friend?
"I'm so sorry, baby," Vince said, pulling me against his chest in a comforting way. I tucked myself into his chest and let the tears fall. Sometimes it was just better to let out your sadness than to keep it all locked up inside.
After I had calmed down, Vince pulled away from me to study my face, "Are you alright?" I considered lying, but then decided against it. Why should I bother lying to the only person I trusted?
"Not really..." I started in a shaky voice, while wiping my eyes. "Nikki...he's never been like that before. I dunno what I ever did to him to make him get so mad." Vince looked uncomfortable, "Amy...if you wanna stop seeing me to save your friendship with Nikki, I completely understand." I gave Vince a have-you-lost-your-marbles look, "Vince, I wouldn't trade your love for anything in the world." I looked into his light blues eyes; he was the most beautiful man alive. I pressed myself close to him and stood on my tiptoes to try to reach his height. Impulsively, I placed my tongue teasingly on top of Vince's lower lip. Vince groaned softly and placed his tongue on top of my lips. Before I knew it, ours tongues were exploring each others' mouths curiously. My body instantly filled with the familiar longing. Without warning, I pulled away from Vince. He gave me a puzzled look.
"Let's just not go too far right now, okay?" I suggested. Vince took the hint and nodded. Ugh, why was he so hard to resist? It was impossible not to look at Vince without imagining our two naked bodies entwined with him inside of me, making love to me. I blushed at my daydreams and took Vince's hand, "Let's go to the living room, shall we?"
"Sure," Vince followed be back into the living room where we settled down on the couch. No matter how I tried to distract myself, my thoughts kept trailing back to Nikki. I felt like driving over to his house, breaking down the door, and pleading with him to forgive me. What if this was the end of my friendship with Nikki? What if I could only have Vince or Nikki?
The sound of our garage door opening broke into my daydreams and I sat up with a jerk. Why did my dad have to be home so early? Vince stood up awkwardly, "Um...I'd better go since your parents are here and...you know..." I bit my lip and nodded reluctantly. It would be best if Vince wasn't here when my parents were.
"Vince...let's go on a date next week. Please?" I asked, giving Vince a seductive smile. Vince gave me a funny look, "You actually want to go on a date alone with me? Uh...I'm not sure that's such a good idea, sweetie." I frowned sulkily at Vince, "Of course it's a good idea. I love you and I want to spend more time with you. Unless you don't love me..."
"Of course I love you, Amy. Where do you want to go with me next week?" Vince replied hastily, giving into me. I flashed him a grateful smile and tried to think of somewhere we could go where we would be alone. Finally, an idea popped into my head, "Wanna go to that park around the corner? It would be a nice, peaceful place." Vince agreed readily. I could tell he was remembering the night at the club. Vince placed a hand on the doorknob and swiped his blonde locks out of his eyes, "Okay, Ames, I gotta go. I'll seeya next Wednesday!"
"Bye Vince," I replied, sad to see him leave. Before stepping outside, Vince leaned towards me and gave me a quick peck on my mouth...just as my dad wandered into the living room. Vince blushed sheepishly and waved at my dad before quickly shutting the door behind him. I left the doorway and collapsed onto the couch. I was really excited for my date with Vince; I couldn't deny that. But underneath everything, my heart was crying out in pain. The reason for it? Nikki.



I tapped my foot impatiently as I paced back and forth in the living room. I was waiting for Vince to pick me up from the part. It was finally Wednesday. Thank God for that - it had been a long week. I hadn't had any contact with Nikki since our fight. I had gone to Tommy's once, but Nikki wasn't there. Ever since our fight, I had an ominous feeling that Nikki might not ever forgive me. What if he had decided that I wasn't a friend worth keeping? Had he forgotten all the years in the past we had spent together?
I couldn't imagine my life without Nikki. Nikki was part of me in a sense. I wasn't even sure if life would be worth living without him. A recent memory came flooding back to my mind. It was the one where Nikki had kissed me after I had cut my wrists open. I had thought about that kiss so many times. Sometimes I wondered if it had just been part of my imagination. I had been in a pretty pathetic state that night. Maybe I had been hallucinating and imagined the kiss? Or maybe it was just my imagination running away with me as usual. But regardless if we had kissed or not, Nikki still meant more to me than anyone else in the world. Beep, beep! I broke away from my contemplations about Nikki and glanced towards the noise. Vince was pulling up in my driveway, waving at me. I flashed a smile at him before rushing over to the door and flying outside to meet him. I ran lightly across the sidewalk and yanked the door to Vince's Porsche open. I swung into the seat next to him and stared into his handsome face.
"Whoa, you seem to have a lotta energy today, girl!" Vince exclaimed. "So how have you been?" I could see Vince was eying my lips with a hungry expression. I was tempted to reach over and kiss his lower lip, but restrained myself. Starting out our date with a makeout decision didn't seem like a good idea.
"I've been...not so good," I replied to Vince's question truthfully. There was no point in denying that my week had been miserable; I had been missing Nikki every second of the day. Vince gave me a guilty expression as he pulled out of the driveway and started towards the park, "Is it your head? Or...what happened last week?" Vince blushed bright red as he referred to my attempted rape. "No, no," I replied quickly, giving Vince a reassuring smile. "My head is completely fine. And we agreed to forget about last week, remember? I've forgotten. You just need to forget too, okay? It's something completely unrelated that's been troubling me lately. It's not related to you, so don't worry. You're the best thing in my life right now." I reached over and gave Vince's hand a little squeeze. Vince squeezed back and gave me a dubious smile, "Amy, you don't have to pretend to forget what happened between us. I don't expect you to forget it. I know I never will. But tell me, what's bothering you?"
"It's nothing. Really," I tried smiling, but my smile turned into a grimace as I remembered Nikki cursing at me. Vince rolled his eyes, "You're not good at hiding your emotions. Something is obviously troubling you." Vince stared out the window thoughtfully for a few moments before snapping his fingers and turning to me, "I've got it; this is about Nikki, isn't it?" I stared at Vince in shock. How would he know that the episode with Nikki was bothering me so much? Was my affection for Nikki that obvious? I thought about lying to Vince, but decided against it.
"Well...yes, it is about Nikki," I agreed hesitantly. "But really, it's no big deal, Vince. I'll get over it." Vince reached over and put a hand under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes.
"Amy, don't believe one word that bastard says to you. I was about ready to punch him in the face when I heard him swearing at you like that last week. Believe me, you're not at all stupid or thick-headed. You're one of the most intelligent girls I've met. I love you for who you are Amy. Don't you ever forget that," Vince replied to me in an earnest tone. I pondered what he had said to me for a moment. He had said he loved me for who I was...not for my body or sex or anything like that.
A small tear slipped out of the corner of my eye and trickled down my face. Vince turned to me and lovingly wiped the tear from my cheek, "Amy, what's wrong? Please don't be upset." I managed a blissful smile at Vince, "No, no, I'm not upset at all. I'm happy...happier than I've been in a long time." Vince gave me a confused smile and shrugged, "Well, as long as you're happy I guess. I don't really see what there's to be happy about though."
"You and me of course!" I exclaimed, giving Vince a dreamy-eyed glance. "I've never felt the way about anyone that I feel about you," I confessed. Vince looked at the floor uncomfortably. I was going to ask him what was wrong, but we pulled into the parking lot to the little park so I never got the opportunity to get the question out.
"Here we are," Vince announced, parking the Porsche. I popped out of the car and took a deep breath of the fresh air. It was a nice, breezy May day. Perfect for a stroll around the park. Vince joined my side and asked questioningly, "So what do you wanna do here? It looks like we've got the whole place to ourselves apparently." I glanced around the park curiously. Vince was right; the park appeared to be completely deserted. There was no noise besides for a few birds chattering in a tall tree above us.
"Wanna take a walk?" I questioned Vince. There was a nice little path through the park that wound around the monstrous pine trees. It was the perfect place to get some peace and quiet and just enjoy nature. Vince nodded agreeably and took my hand. The two of us started down the path in silence. I stared up at the sun; savoring the feel of it beating down on my face. After a few minutes, Vince broke the silence, "Are you coming on the Canada tour next week?"
I gave Vince a dismissive look, "Yeah, of course I'm coming! You think I'm just gonna sit around and study at home while you guys are having the time of your life? It'll give us more time together too!" Vince had a distressed look on his face. I could sense something was bothering him, but I couldn't quite figure out what it is.
"Okay, Vince, what's up?" I finally asked, unable to stop myself. "Something's bothering you. Tell me what it is." Vince managed to turn his frown into a small smile, "Nothing to worry about, Amy. I guess I'm just a little nervous from the tour." Vince swiped some blonde hair out of his forehead and peered upwards at the sun. I could still tell something was wrong, but I decided not to pressure Vince into telling me what it was. He would've told me if it was important...right?
We fell into silence again. Finally, we reached a calm, small clearing next to a little lake. Eagerly, I turned to Vince, "Let's stop and rest here for a while, shall we?"
"Sure," Vince nodded. I pulled a large polka-dotted beach towel from my overflowing purse and spread it evenly on the ground for us to sit on. Vince and I sat side by side on the towel and watched the water trickle down the stream. Vince was being unusually quiet and reserved. I wanted him to talk to me or kiss me...or at least do something! Silence had a tendency to drive me insane.
I crawled closer to Vince and nestled myself against him. Vince peered over me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. But he still didn't say anything. I bit my lip in frustration. I needed him today and today was the day he seemed to forget I existed.
I fell onto my back and gazed up at the heavens; wishing for a sign of what to do next. After a moment or so, Vince flopped down on his back next to me...still not speaking. I peered over at Vince lying next to me. He looked so handsome with that light blonde hair in his face and with his big blue eyes staring up innocently at the sky. He didn't seem to be paying much attention to me though. I was starting to lose my temper - I would make him pay attention to me.
I slid on top of Vince and stared into his eyes. Vince finally met my gaze and groaned slightly. I could tell that he was restraining himself from kissing me. But why would he do that? We had kissed so many times before. Why shouldn't we kiss now? Recklessly, I leaned down so that my lips were only a few inches above Vince's. I knew I was tempting him. Finally, Vince leaned forward in a quick motion and reached for my lips. Soon we were kissing like two people who had been starved of love for years. I rubbed myself against his body; all that seperated us from each other was our thin tank tops...
Rashly, I slipped my hands under Vince's back and helped slip his tank top off. Vince appeared not to notice as he wrapped his arms around my back; hugging me close to him. Forgetting every little bit of morality I possessed, I slid my hand under his pants and started undressing him. While I struggled to finish stripping him, I pressed my lips against his chest and bit each of his nipples ever so softly. Vince moaned as my hand brushed against his cock.
Without warning, he grabbed my wrists tightly and looked at me rather angrily, "Amy...what ARE you doing?" I gave him a hurt look and slid off of him. Vince loosened the grip on my wrists and stroked them tenderly, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean that to sound so harsh." I stared at our entwined hands with confusion, "But...I thought you wanted...?" I let my sentence trail off; knowing that Vince would know what I had meant.
"I do," Vince replied. "But you said you didn't want to, remember? I'm only helping you to avoid a mistake that you'd regret for the rest of your life." I rolled my eyes, "It's not a mistake. And...I do want to, Vince. I want you...I need you..."
Vince gave me a quizzical look, "I want you too, sweetie. But Amy, face it, I'm not being fair to you. You were right from the beginning. I'm cheating on you." I wasn't sure what he meant. Did he have another girlfriend besides me?
"Wait, what?" I questioned him. Vince gave me a pathetic look, "You know, Beth Lynn? My wife?"
"Well yeah, obviously," I agreed, "But you already told me about that. I don't care anymore Vince. I just want you. We love each other; what's stopping us? Just forget about being married." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I instantly regretted saying them. Vince looked like I had slapped him, "Amy, I can't. It's not that I don't love you. I do...more than anyone. I'm not gonna fuck you while I'm married though. Like you had said earlier, it would be immoral of me to do so."
"Geez, Vince, I didn't really mean that. Just forget what I said earlier. Blame it on me. Tell yourself I forced you to make love with me if that's what it takes. I'll do anything. Please?" I pleaded. Vince looked as if he were being torn in two, "Ugh, please stop making this so hard. I'm guessing you're a virgin, aren't you?"
"Well yeah," I answered, not understanding why he was asking me this. I was tired of our talk. I wanted Vince ontop of me, inside of me, making love to me.
"Exactly," Vince pointed out, "you're a virgin. I'm not going to fuck an young virgin. You're not a slut like my past girlfriends. You're so different from them all. All my past girlfriends have been...you could say 'forgotten'. I don't wanna lose you like I did after I fucked them. I can't just let you drift away like they did. Besides, I don't wanna hurt you."
Frustration was building inside of me. I just wanted to get this over with. Vince and I had put it off so long. When I finally had gotten used to the idea, Vince decided he didn't want to love me after all. I had spent so many days and nights imaging a night together and now Vince had sent my dreams crashing to the ground.
"Just stop the stupid excuses," I stood up defensively, glaring at him. "I see what the problem is; you love your wife more than me. You've been lying to me this whole time. You never really loved me after all." Tears clouded my vision. Nikki had been right about Vince. Nikki had been right about everything really; Vince didn't love me. I felt like my heart had been shattered. I turned on my heel and ran back towards the parking lot.
"That's not what I mean," Vince called after me. "Amy, come back here. I didn't mean any of that. Please, let me explain?" I didn't even bother turning around to look at him. He wasn't sorry for anything and he had meant everything he had said. I pulled my phone out of my purse and rapidly dialed Tommy's phone number into the phone. I had decided Tommy would be the best person to call to pick me up. I couldn't stand another car ride with Vince.
As I waited for Tommy to pick up the phone, I thought about the last few weeks. First of all, Vince had tried to rape me. Now he was refusing to have anything to do with me. And most importantly, I had lost Nikki. What was next?


It seemed like ages before Tommy finally picked up the phone. I heard his familiar voice greet me, "Hello?" I tried to muffle my tears before answering him, "Tommy? Um, can I ask you to do a me a big favor?" My voice cracked embarrassingly at the end of my sentence. Now Tommy would know I had been crying.
"Yeah, of course," Tommy replied in a compassionate tone. "What can I do for you?" I took a deep breath and willed my voice not to crack again, "Can you pick me up from the park? You know, just the one around the corner? It should be only five minutes from your house. I'm sorry to ask you to do this Tommy...but I've gotta get away from here."
"Never apologize for asking a favor from me," Tommy replied. I could hear him revving up his car in the distance. "But what's up Amy? Why are you in the park and why do you need to leave in such a rush?" The last thing I wanted to do at the moment was discuss my argument with Vince. Now that I thought about it, I realized I did look like a slut. I had been telling a married man to have sex with me. But I did owe Tommy an explanation. I would have to tell him something.
"Well, I was going on a date in the park. But we...uh...had an argument. I've really gotta go now and get away from here," I explained as concisely as possible. I hoped Tommy would drop the subject. But of course, I had captured his curiosity and he continued with the subject, "You were on a date? With who? Vince?" Even hearing the sound of Vince's name was like poking a needle into my heart.
"Mm hm," I replied without going into details. I prayed Tommy would drive fast and get here soon. Something told me that Vince would try to find me. Currently, I wanted nothing to do with the man ever again.
"Uh oh," Tommy said in a worried voice, "what happened? He didn't try to rape you again, did he?" I wanted the Vince who had tried to rape me back. At least that Vince seemed to care about me. This new Vince didn't love me or even give a damn to my existence. Suddenly, an odd thought popped in my head. Had I been forcing myself on Vince earlier? It definitely wasn't rape...but still. What kind of girl had I turned into?
Finally I answered Tommy's question, "No, no, he didn't try to rape me. We just had an argument. Turns out he doesn't love me after all." Saying those words aloud sent a spasm of pain throughout my body and a new torrent of tears filled my eyes. There was a long silence on the phone. Tommy didn't say anything. I was slightly irritated at his silence; wasn't he at least going to comment or say something? I wasn't asking for pity really, but I just wanted a friend to sympathize with me.
"Tommy?" I said, breaking the silence. "Are you still here?" Another silence before Tommy answered, "...yeah. Let's talk about this in just a second. I'm almost to the park, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed and snapped the phone shut rather angrily. I needed something to release my anger with. My thoughts trailed towards that long, silver knife in the kitchen. I wondered if my parents were home. I sent a prayer up to heaven, hoping they were gone. Privacy when I got home was what I needed most right now.
"Amy!" a voice called from behind me, breaking into my thoughts. I turned reluctantly to see Vince rushing towards me. I couldn't see his expression; he was just a blur through my tears. If only Tommy would hurry up and get here. I didn't want to talk to Vince right now. I turned my back to him and searched the parking lot anxiously for Tommy's car.
Vince touched my back gently and said in a softer voice, "Amy? Can you listen to me for just one sec?" I pulled away from him and averted my tear-stained face from him, "Don't touch me. Just...stay away from me. I'm sorry I ever met you."
Vince pulled his hand away from me and stared at me deplorably. I could tell I had hurt him with my words, but I didn't care at the moment. He had hurt me far worse than I could ever hurt him. He would probably just toss me aside now. Just like all those past girlfriends that got thrown away like garbage.
Luckily, before Vince had a chance to say anything, Tommy's car came screeching into the parking lot right in front of me. Tommy unlocked the door and motioned for me to get into the passenger seat next to him. I noticed that he was giving Vince a cold look. Good for him. I swung one leg into the car and hoisted myself inside without giving Vince another look. Tommy immediately hit the reverse and we were out of the park and onto the road in no time.
Tommy still didn't speak to me. I wondered why. Had I offended him in some way? Before the silence got to the unbearable point, I turned and looked at him, "Aren't you going to say something? I can't stand this awkward silence." Tommy glanced over at me, "There's not all that much to say, Amy. I warned you about Vince, didn't I? And well, Nikki did too."
Nikki. The thought of him sent the tears streaming down my face once more. I had been stupid and thick brained and in the process I lost the only important thing to me. Tommy gently touched my hand, "Sorry, Amy. I don't mean to sound cruel. You really miss Nikki, don't you?"
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I imagined Nikki in my head with his crazy black hair, devil black eyes, and his red-lipped grin. Nikki and I had gotten along so well until now. As soon as Vince had joined the Crue, it was as if Nikki and I were constantly arguing. Ugh, why had I ever met Vince? If it weren't for Vince, Nikki would be here with me right now and I would never be feeling the pain of being unloved.
Tommy drove me back to my house in silence. I didn't feel like talking and he didn't have much to say to me. After a short ride, Tommy pulled into my driveway, "We're at your house, Amy. Anything I can do for you before I go?" I shrugged and shook my head. Tommy gave me a sympathetic smile as I trudged up my driveway and yanked the door open rather violently. I slammed it behind me and checked for my parents. To my delight, they were nowhere to be seen.
Without delay, I rushed into the kitchen and yanked the knife out of the small, wooden cabinet. Where would I cut myself? I thought about doing my wrists again, but decided against it. I shut my eyes and tore into the skin between my breasts with a knife. A red stream of blood trickled down my chest where my heart shoud be. Pain quickly spread through my body as I yanked the knife away. As usual, the pain gave me a distraction from my own damaged heart.
Before I lost consciousness, I hurried back into the kitchen and rinsed the knife under cold water to remove any blood stains from it. The last thing I wanted was for my parents to start suspecting that I had become a cutter. My vision was starting to blur and waver in front of me. I had to get upstairs to my bedroom.
Using the last of my strength, I climbed the unending stairs to my small bedroom on the second floor of our house. I dragged myself into the room, locked the door, and collapsed onto the ground. By this time, I had completely forgotten about Vince or Nikki. All I could think about was the pain. My vision started rocking back and forth wildly like a hurricane. Without another thought, I lost conscienceness and crumpled limply onto the rug.



Ring, ring, ring! The ringing of my phone broke through my uneasy sleep. I didn't feel like opening my eyelids. As a matter of fact, I didn't want to move at all. But the persistent ringing of my phone was quite annoying. Slowly, I attempted a sitting position, but immediately fell backwards once more. Even a small movement sent a spasm of agony rippling through my chest.
With as little movement as possible, I reached my hand into my pocket and tried to search for the phone. Luckily, it was just within reach. I snatched it up and flicked it open, "Hello?"
"Hi," a voice replied uncomfortably from the the other end of the phone; Nikki! In my excitement at hearing his voice, I attempted to jump to my feet. I gasped at the pain and immediately keeled backwards and smashed my head against the floor with a loud thud. Hopefully, my parents hadn't heard or else they would no doubt come up to check on me.
"Amy?" Nikki's voice sounded worried. "What are you doing? I heard a funny sound; did you drop something?" I cringed, attempting to ignore the pain that was now also pumping through my skull, "Ah...I'm not doing anything..."
"Hm," Nikki replied in a tone that told me that he didn't believe a word I said. I caught my breath and ever so gingerly crawled into a sitting position, "Nikki? There's something I want to say to you."
"Yeah, I have something to say to you too," Nikki answered in an uneasy tone. "You wanna go first? Or do you want me to?" I figured it would be better if I apologized to Nikki first. I really owed him an apology from the other day.
"I'll go first I guess," I replied, summoning up the strength inside me to say to Nikki what needed to be said. "First of all, I need to apologize for calling you all those things the other day. I was angry and confused and they just sorta popped out of my mouth. I never meant to say any of that, but that's no excuse I guess. I'm really sorry, Nikki. And it turns out you were right about Vince. He doesn't love me after all. He was just using me like you said. I was really stupid not to see that." Silence followed from Nikki's end of the phone. In a timid voice I added, "Do you think you could...well...forgive me?"
"Yeah, of course I forgive you," Nikki replied in a gentle tone. "I need to ask for your forgiveness too. The things I called you the other day were definitely uncalled for and were just plain mean. I dunno what came over me. I just couldn't stand to see Vince molest you like that. He was trying to turn you into something you weren't. Bringing you to a strip club like that...it makes me want to rip his throat out. Anyways, enough about Vince though. Will you forgive me too?"
"Geez, you don't need to apologize, Nikki. This is all my fault, not yours," I exclaimed. "You know...I've missed you a lot lately Nikki. The last week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life really."
"I thought about you a lot too," Nikki replied. "By the way, I have to tell you what I originally called you for. Tommy figured out that our plane flight to Canada was switched to tomorrow at two in the afternoon. That still works for you, right? I can come pick you up and stuff if that helps any." My heart leapt excitedly; I would be leaving for Canada tomorrow with Nikki! I couldn't wait.
"That works great. The sooner the better as they say," I replied enthusiastically. Nikki chuckled, "Well, we better start packing. Would you mind if I came over? I could help you pack and we could spend some time together maybe?" My first impulse was to say yes; of course I wanted to see Nikki! But then I stared at the large blood stain on my shirt and on the carpet. I wasn't really in a state to be having company.
"I'd love to see you Nikki...but I dunno if now is a good time. I don't look so good," I replied truthfully. Another laugh sounded from the other end of the receiver, "You are always saying that, girl! I don't care what you look like, okay? I just wanna see you. I'm coming over whether you like it or not!" Nikki stated resolutely. I decided not to argue with him. I really did want to see him, but I would have to change and try to clean up the mess I had created on the floor somehow.
"Okay, fine," I agreed, "I'd better get ready now though. See you in a few minutes?"
"Yeah, definitely," Nikki agreed before hanging up. My broken heart seemed to temporarily glue itself back together. Nikki was no longer mad at me and he wanted to spend time alone with me! I couldn't wait to see him...but of course, I would have to pull myself together first. That would definitely be more of a challenge than it seemed. The first step would just be getting to my feet.