Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > So Shut Your Eyes

Not Okay

by MCArmyWife 11 reviews

Gerard calls Mikey in a panic.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2010-01-23 - Updated: 2010-01-24 - 2869 words

Mikey awoke from the nightmare covered in sweat with his heart still racing. He sat up in bed feeling disoriented and very afraid. Quickly he glanced over at the clock to see the illuminated numbers and realized he hadn’t even been asleep an hour. Running a shaky hand over his face he took a deep breath. The nightmare still clung to him and he just wanted to shake it from his mind.
“Mikey?” Alicia’s voice was soft and sleepy.
“It’s okay.” He reached out and stroked her face. “Go back to sleep. I’m just gonna get a drink of water.” Part of him wanted her to wake so she could talk him down from this fear yet another part of him didn’t want to put the fear into words. When he was sure she’d slipped back into sleep he crawled out of the bed and started for the kitchen.
He crossed the room in the darkness and pulled open the refrigerator. The light spilled out as he grabbed a bottle of water and twisted off the top. After taking a sip he stood and prepared to close the door. Suddenly the feeling washed over his body and he turned around. “Grandma.” He whispered.
Elena stood a few feet away. By the refrigerator light he could see her face was covered with sadness.
“What is it?’ Mikey asked softly. He cleared his mind and waited. Suddenly the images came to him in a blur. So many images racing by he was finding it had to capture them even for a moment. These pictures that filled his brain confused him. Why was she showing him the past? What did it mean?
“Grandma I don’t understand.” His voice shook.
Elena smiled at him and showed him one more image. It was an image that brought a smile to Mikey’s face. The moment in time she showed him was one he always carried close to his heart. It was his favorite memory of his grandma. That day they had spent together would always stay with him. She had made him feel so special and so loved after those boys had ridiculed him at school. Elena had made him feel safe that day. She had given him strength. The image faded and so did Elena. Mikey stood looking at the spot where she had stood for several minutes trying to make sense of what had just happened.
“Mikey?” Alicia flipped on the kitchen light. “What’s going on?”
He turned to face his wife, “I’m not sure but something is very wrong.”
She crossed the kitchen and stood before him. “Wrong?”
Mikey nodded. “Yeah, something has happened to Gee.”
“I don’t understand.” Alicia said reaching out to touch his arm. “Did he call? Is he back from Savannah?”
“I don’t know.” Mikey moved to the counter and set the water bottle down. “But I’m gonna call him.”
Alicia looked over at the clock. “It’s late.”
The time didn’t matter to Mikey. He knew his brother needed him. Moving into the living room he spotted his cell on the table by the sofa. His fingers reached it just as it began to ring. Glancing at the screen he spoke to Alicia who had followed him. “It’s Gee.”

Gerard sat with his head in his hands replaying those last few minutes before she sunk to the floor again and again. He knew in his heart he’d physically hurt her. He’d twisted her arm out of anger he hadn’t been able to control. But it had all happened so fast. In his mind he could see how her face has suddenly changed, how her eyes and rolled back in her head right before she’d gone limp. His anger had changed to fear in that precise moment.
“She’s resting comfortably.”
Gerard looked up to see his friend walk into the living room. “Is she okay?’ His voice shook.
“Her blood pressure is slightly elevated but nothing to be overly alarmed about.”
Gerard got to his feet. “I can’t thank you enough for coming. I didn’t know what to do.”
The doctor smiled. “It’s okay. I do just live one floor up.”
Gerard nodded, “Still, thank you John. I was just so fuckin’ scared when she passed out I didn’t know what to do.”
John nodded, “That’s understandable. Willow told me that she just arrived here. I’m guessing that the stress of travel added to the fact she admitted she hasn’t been eating or sleeping well is what trigged this.” He opened his bag and after searching a moment found what he was looking for. “Here, this is the name of a very good OB/GYN. She and I once had a small practice together. Call in the morning and make an appointment for Willow. Prenatal care is very important.”
Gerard took the card from his hand. “I will, thanks.” He realized John probably wondered about his relationship with Willow but his professional nature kept him from asking questions. For that Gerard was very grateful. “Uh, I want you to bill me for this visit.” He said awkwardly.
John shook his head, “No, just consider this one neighbor visiting another. Besides it was a pleasure to meet Willow.” He started towards the door before Gerard could answer.
He stepped out into the hall just as Mikey and Alicia stepped out of the elevator. They saw the doctor leaving Gerard’s apartment and hurried their steps.
Gerard had reached to door and saw them. He tried to smile knowing they were worried.
John nodded to them then turned back to Gerard, “Make sure you call in the morning and make that appointment.”
“I will and thanks again, man.” Gerard said clutching the card in his fingers. He nodded for Mikey and Alicia to enter the apartment, watched John get on the elevator then closed the door.
“Gee, what the fuck is going on?” Mikey asked. The entire way here he’d been beside himself with fear. Gerard’s call had replayed over and over in his mind. “Mikey I’m home and I need you.” was all he had said before disconnecting.
“That was a doctor, right?” Alicia asked.
“Yeah that’s John his apartment is one floor up.” Gerard answered crossing the room then falling heavily into a chair.
“Why was he here?” Mikey asked as he and Alicia moved to the sofa. “What’s wrong, are you sick?”
Gerard ran his hand over his face still trying to come to grips with the emotions that were flooding his mind. “He was here for Willow.” He said softly.
“Willow’s here?” Alicia asked.
Gerard nodded.
“And she’s sick? What’s wrong with her?” The concern in Alicia’s voice was loud and clear.
Mikey sat back watching his brother closely. The look on Gerard’s face frightened him. “Gee, what’s going on with you and Willow?”
Part of Gerard was beginning to wish he hadn’t called his brother but he’d been so afraid his first thought had been to call him. Gerard fumbled with his cigarettes while they sat waiting for him to answer.
Alicia couldn’t contain the happiness she felt knowing Willow had come back with her brother in law. She so badly wanted to believe that things between them were good and that Willow was here to stay. “You guys worked things out?” She had such hope in her voice. “I mean she came back with you so that’s a good thing, right?”
“I forced her to come back with me.’ Gerard’s voice was flat.
“How could you force her?” Mikey asked slowly.
Once his cigarette was lit Gerard blew out a stream of smoke. “She was working and living at an abused women’s shelter.” He explained, “The place was in financial trouble and I told Willow that if she would come back with me I’d donate the money they needed to keep the place open.”
Mikey and Alicia digested the information. It was Alicia who finally spoke. “So you blackmailed her to get her to come back?”
Mikey flinched at his wife’s brutal honestly.
Gerard’s anger once again surfaced, “Yeah, I fuckin’ blackmailed her to come back with me. I didn’t have time to try to convince her. I knew I needed to get the fuck back into the studio so that’s what I did.”
Alicia ignored his attitude, “Why the fuck would you need to convince her? The woman loves you.” Her eyes narrowed, “Unless you acted like a jackass again. I mean all you had to do was tell her you loved her.”
Gerard’s temper snapped. “Yeah, you all told me that’s all I had to do. Be honest and tell her the truth about how I felt. Well I did. I told her I loved her and that I was fuckin’ sorry for the way I treated her. I told her I wanted her to move in with me so we could work on our relationship.” He took another deep drag off his cigarette.
“And?” Alicia didn’t let his anger get to her. “What did she say?”
“She admitted to me that she’d deceived me.” Gerard said snuffing out the cigarette angrily.
“About loving you?” Mikey asked not believing Willow would do something like that.
Now Gerard wished he hadn’t called. He was still too confused about everything that had happened. He was still too hurt.
“Gee, I don’t understand.” Mikey said softly when his brother sat silently.
“She lied about being on birth control.” Gerard said reaching for another cigarette.
Alicia was the first to respond. “Willow is pregnant?”
“Yeah.” Gerard answered before grabbing his lighter off the table. “And she says it’s mine.”
Mikey sat stunned into silence. His wife however didn’t react the same way. “Holy fuck, Gerard. Of course it’s yours. You gotta know that.”
In truth he did know that. He knew deep in his heart that the child Willow carried was his. But he’d wanted to hurt her by pretending he wasn’t sure. “So she says.” He said looking over at his sister in law.
Alicia rolled her eyes while shaking her head. “Let me guess you said something to her about a paternity test, right?” She didn’t wait for his answer, “What the hell, Gerard?”
Mikey saw the anger on his brother’s face but he saw something else in his eyes. “Gee, are you saying the baby changes how you feel about her?”
“She fuckin’ deceived me. Don’t you get that?” Gerard shouted. “She lied to me. She had her own agenda. She admitted she wanted to get pregnant.”
Alicia stood. “I’m gong to go talk to her.” She walked out of the room before either man could answer. Obviously something was very wrong since a doctor had just left the apartment.

“Willow?” Alicia tapped on the door of the guest bedroom then pushed it open without waiting for an answer. She saw Willow lying on the bed with here eyes open.
“Hi” Willow had heard voices and knew Mikey and Alicia were in the living room. She sat up and wiped her tear stained face.
Alicia crossed to the bed, sat down then leaned over and hugged her tightly. “I’ve missed you.” She whispered.
Alicia’s words and actions caused Willow to break into fresh tears. She too had missed her friend so much. Alicia continued to hug her tightly feeling Willow’s body shake. After a few minutes she released her and sat back. “I’m glad you’re here.” She said softly.
“I’ve missed you too.” Willow said as she reached over and grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand.
Alicia studied her tear-swollen face. “Willow what the hell is going on? Gee told us you’re pregnant. Did you know when you left the Paramour?”
Willow leaned back against the headboard and nodded slightly, “Yes, in my heart I already knew.”
Alicia struggled to understand. “Look you can tell me to shut up because this isn’t any of my business but I’m really trying to understand.”
“It’s okay, Alicia.” Willow said softly. “I know you are confused and worried.”
“Yeah.” Alicia answered nodding. “I’m fuckin’ worried. When you disappeared like you did I guess I took it personally too. I thought we were really close friends and then suddenly you were just gone.”
Tears filled Willow’s eyes again. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I realized Gerard didn’t love me and I was scared.”
“But he does love you.” Alicia said reaching out and taking Willow’s hand. “He was a fuckin’ mess when he realized you were gone. I was with them on the tour. I saw with my own eyes how devastated he was. I just don’t understand what happened. Did you get pregnant thinking it would make him love you?”
Willow shook her head, “No, that’s not why.”
Alicia waited while Willow sat quietly with tears running down her face. She suddenly was sure there was so much more going on that she didn’t understand and that Willow wouldn’t share. She struggled with her own emotions trying to think of what to say. Finally she just came out and said, “Look, I don’t get this. Willow the guy had fallen in love with you. I don’t understand how you couldn’t have heard that by listening to his thoughts.”
Willow wiped her eyes and told the truth. “Once he and I became intimate I couldn’t hear his thoughts anymore.”
“Oh shit.” Alicia whispered. “Nothing? You couldn’t hear his thoughts at all?’
Willow shook her head. “No.”
“And you didn’t tell him that, did you?”
Once again Willow shook her head.
“But why? Why didn’t you tell him?” Alicia asked.
Before Willow could answer Mikey walked into the room. He crossed to the bed and without a word leaned down and hugged Willow tightly. She stiffened a moment then returned the hug. Mikey’s thoughts filled her head. He was confused, and frightened. He stepped back and tried to smile. “I’m taking Gee out for a while so we can talk.” She said turning to his wife. “You stay with Willow, okay?’
Alicia stood and hugged him. “Yeah, of course.” She looked into his eyes. “Do you understand what she was telling you?” She asked knowing he would understand she was asking about Elena’s visit. He had talked about it non-stop during the car ride over.
Mikey glanced at Willow before answering, “Yeah, I think I do. We’ll be back.” He gave Willow another smile then left the room. Willow watched him go as an incredible sadness filled her heart.
“He’s gotten so much stronger dealing with his abilities.” She said once he had left the room.
Alicia nodded, “He has but still it’s hard for him.” She looked into Willow’s eyes, “Did you understand what I just asked him?”
“Elena visited him.” Willow said, “Yeah, I got that from his thoughts but not what she showed him. He’s keeping that information buried deep in his mind.”
“He can do that?” Alicia asked in a surprised voice. “He can keep you from hearing certain thoughts?”
Willow smiled sadly, “Yes, as his abilities grow he’s learning how to keep certain thoughts below the surface.”
“So you don’t know what Elena showed him?”
“No.” Willow said softly, “But he plans to tell Gee about the visit. He believes his grandma revealed something very important.”

Back in the living room Gee grabbed his jacket as Mikey walked back into the room. His brother had told him there was something important they needed to discuss and both had decided to leave the apartment to find someplace where they could talk without fear of being overheard.
“She’s okay?” Gerard asked
Mikey shook his head, “No, Gee. She’s not okay and neither are you. Come on, let’s go.” He moved towards the door knowing what he had to say to his brother would undoubtedly upset him but knowing that it had to be said.

AUTHORS NOTE: Hey just wanted to say thanks for all the reviews. Only about 6 chapters left of this story, hope you continue to enjoy it. I don’t know if it’s true but I heard a rumor that FicWad is going to be shutting down next month. I truly hope this isn’t true. There are so many great authors and stories here. But as a precaution incase it does I just want to remind you all that this story is also being posted on Mibba. It has the same tittle over there so if something happens you can read the end of the story there. Take care everyone and thanks again from the bottom on my heart.
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