FicWad

With a great deal of difficulty, Pen forced her eyes open, and then closed them against the harsh light streaming in through an open window. “What the fuck…” she murmured, lifting one of her arms to rub her face, and feeling a pain more intense than she had ever felt before. “Fuck!” she hissed, lowering her arm once more. She didn’t have to open her eyes to know that she was in a hospital. The question was, how had she gotten here? What had happened? And where was everyone?

“Miss…Way? Ms. Way, are you awake?” Was that a doctor? Who was he speaking to?

“…What?” Pen felt ridiculously confused.

“I’m glad you’re awake, Ms. Way. Your brothers have been quite worried about you.” Pen opened her eyes to see that the 30-something doctor standing above her bed was indeed talking to her.

“Why--why are you calling me…Ms. Way?”

The doctor gave her a strange look. “Isn’t that your name? Your brothers said your name was Penelope Way, and that you got mugged while taking a walk. Is that right?”

Pen’s head was spinning, and she would say anything just to stop having to speak to this man and get to see her friends. “Sure--yeah. I remember now. Can I see my…brothers?”

“Well…” The doctor seemed to be trying to measure his words carefully. “We can let in the younger one…Michael? Umm…your other brother was getting a little bit…rowdy, and was asked to step outside.”

“Right,” Pen said, blinking slowly. “Then can I see Michael?”

The doctor nodded and walked out, and Pen collapsed back onto her pillows, only to shoot up (with much pain) once Mikey walked in. “Mikey!”

“Pen!” Mikey ran over to her bed, perching gingerly on the edge of her sheets. She pulled him in for a hug and had to bite her lip to hold back the tears that she felt pricking at the backs of her eyes.

“Mikey,” she said, pulling back and looking him in the eyes. “What happened to me? What am I doing here?”

Mikey gave her a look and frowned. “Pen…you don’t remember? You…you took those pills that Gerard told you not to take…and you flipped out, I guess. I don’t know. All I know is that the bus was covered in blood, and we all--well, we thought you’d…you were--”

Pen suddenly felt overwrought with guilt. How could she have done that to the only people that cared about her? Made them worry? Made them think that she had died? She shook her head. “I still don’t remember…”

“Bob said that you were lucid for a few seconds after they found you, before you passed out again. He said that you said…bugs?”

With a rushing headache, everything came flooding back to her. The pills, Gerard telling her not to take them, Meth…the bugs, all the bugs! Cutting them out of her skin…”Oh my God…” she muttered, the tears finally breaking free of her lids and cascading down her cheeks. “I am so stupid…they were right…I’m horrible…”

“Pen? What happened?” Mikey’s eyes were full of concern.

Pen felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Her chest was rising and falling, but she wasn’t getting any air. “Oh, Mikey!” she cried, flinging herself onto him and sobbing. She pulled back and wiped her eyes, noticing the tracks of stitches running along her forearms. “Did I do this?” she whispered, shaking her head as she examined the scars.

Mikey nodded solemnly, looking away. “Yes,” he murmured.

“I--I don’t--Oh God!” Salty tears blurred her vision. She yanked up her hospital gown. Stitches decorated her stomach, legs, chest, everywhere she could see, and some places she couldn’t see but could feel.

“Why did you do it, Pen?” Mikey cupped her chin lightly in his hands so that she was looking at him.

“I…the pills…I was fine one minute…and then I saw bugs, and felt them! Under my skin, they were crawling everywhere. I was trying to scratch them out, but…and then there was a knife, and I just…” She put her face in her hands, and that was when she felt them. She grabbed a mirror off the bedside table and examined her face, biting her lip to keep from crying out loud. Beginning at the outer corner of her left eye and curving around to end on the apple of her cheek was a long, stitched-up scar. The tiny black X’s holding the slit skin together made Pen’s stomach turn. “Oh…God…” she murmured wearily.

“The doctor said it would heal in a few weeks,” Mikey tried to reassure her. “…But…he said that there would always be a scar…”

“How did I do this to myself?” she whispered, looking down to avoid the disgusting pity that she knew was shining in Mikey’s eyes.

Okay, so I didn't post an A/N on the last chapter for obvious Cliff-Hanger reasons. This chapter is really short, so I'll try to get the next chapter up ASAP. So yeah. Go submit some reviews, por fave. Kthxbai OverAndOutxx