- Your description of Irvine's thoughts during the assassination attempt are well-written, and something I've never actually seen before in a story.
That the sorceress was even more prepared for the attack than just being able to stop the bullet aimed at her is certainly very plausible.
I enjoy that some of Irvine's first thoughts upon waking in a hospital are lustful ones. The situation you present in this first chapter is very interesting and definitely catches the reader's attention.
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