FicWad

Alicia heard the key in the lock and immediately grabbed the remote to mute the TV. Gerard walked in closely followed by Mikey. Both looked so tried and solemn. “Hey” she greeted them softly.

Mikey walked over and she extended her hand so he could pull her off the sofa and into his embrace. She knew her husband well enough to see that whatever he and his brother had talked about it had been very emotional.

“Willow okay?” Gerard asked as he pulled off his jacket.

“She’s sleeping.” Alicia answered. “We talked for a while then she just drifted off. She told me the doctor had given her something to relax her but she'd only agree to take it after he assured her it wouldn't hurt the baby."

The word 'baby' caused Gerard to flinch but he quickly recovered. “Yeah, she told him she’s been having trouble sleeping.”

Mikey knew Gerard needed some time alone to think things through. “Hey, how about we blow off the studio tomorrow. The guys will understand you just got back and need some time.”

“No.” Gerard answered walking towards them. “It’s okay, really. We need to get back in the studio and I’ve caused enough drama as it is.”

Mikey frowned, “Gee, it’s okay. What’s going on is important. You know all of us support you and will continue to support you and the decisions you make. If you need some time we’ll work through it.”

Alicia kept herself from asking what decisions Gerard needed to make but it was hard. She looked at Gerard closely wondering what was going on in his mind.

“I’ll be in the studio tomorrow.” Gerard said as he lowered himself into a chair by the sofa.

“How about if I pick you up in the morning then?" Mikey suggested.

Alicia spoke up quickly, “Yeah, I’ll come and stay with Willow. I don’t think she should be left alone.” Her words held a challenge. She stared at Gerard waiting for him to respond.

“Yeah, thanks. That’s a good idea. It would be nice if you’d stay with her.”

Alicia tried to temper her words but found it difficult. She didn’t understand what was going on but she had seen first hand that Willow was devastated right now. “I don’t know about nice, I want to stay with her because she’s my friend.”

Before he would have been angry but now he understood his sister in laws feelings. “She’s lucky to have you as a friend.” He said softly.

Alicia was surprised by his words. She looked over a Mikey but saw that he was staring at his brother.

“Sure you’re okay now?” Mikey asked him.

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, I’m okay. I just need some time to think, you know?”

Mikey knew and understood. “Okay, we’ll be here around nine.” He took Alicia’s hand and headed for the door.

“Mikey” Gerard’s voice caused him to turn. He saw that his brother was on his feet and moving toward him. Once there he surprised Mikey by throwing his arms around him and hugging him tightly. “Thanks” he whispered.”

Mikey hugged him back. “No need to thank me big brother.”

Alicia stood watching the display of affection wondering what had happened. When they broke apart she gave Gerard a small smile before following her husband out.





“What the fuck is going on?” Alicia asked as soon as the elevator doors closed.

Mikey leaned against the wall as they started to descend. “He’s just trying to get his head straight about everything.”

“About Willow?”

“Mostly.” Mikey said feeling drained.

“I’m guessing you told him about your grandma’s visit.”

While he understood his wife’s curiosity he didn’t want to rehash everything that had happened tonight. “I told him.” He offered no other explanation.

Alicia sighed, “Well can you at least tell me what he plans to do where Willow is concerned because I’m worried about her. She doesn’t look good and she cried most of the time until she fell asleep.”

Mikey shook his head, “I’m not sure what’s gonna happen.”

“Well shit.” Alicia crossed her arms angrily then thought of something Willow had said, “Does he realize she can’t hear his thoughts anymore?”

“She told you that?” Mikey was surprised.

“Yeah, she told me.” The elevator door opened and they walked towards the front lobby door. “That had to be fuckin’ scary for her. I know she always says she doesn’t like to be able to hear what someone is thinking but still…. There she was in love with a man but couldn’t hear his thoughts and we both know your brother is good at keeping his true feeling and thoughts buried.”

Mikey threw his arm around her shoulder as they walked to their car. “This has all really gotten you upset, hasn’t it?”

Alicia nodded, “Yeah, it really has. I just want those two to be happy.”

“Me too.” Mikey said softly, “me too.”





Willow came awake with a start. At first she was disoriented and afraid but slowly she realized where she was and those feeling gave way to sadness. She pulled herself into a sitting position and took several deep breaths. Glancing over at the clock the illuminated numbers read that it was just after 2:00 am. She wondered if Mikey and Gerard had gotten back and if Alicia was gone. She wished she had gotten a chance to tell her goodbye.

Pushing back the light blanket she slid out of bed and walked over to the door. There were no sounds in the apartment and the need for a drink of something cool was too great. Slowly she pulled open the door and started down the hallway in the darkness. When she reached the living room she could see the light had been left on in the kitchen; She made her way towards it but came to an abrupt halt when she saw Gerard sitting at the kitchen table his head bowed as he wrote. For several minutes she stood silently watching him. His hair had fallen in his eyes but he made no move to brush it away. Whatever he was working on held his attention captive. Tears filled Willows eyes as she forced herself to take a step back. She couldn’t face him right now.

Gerard suddenly felt something he couldn’t explain. Looking up from his notebook he glanced towards the darkened living room straining his eyes for a sign of movement. Fear washed over him. Maybe something was wrong with Willow. He pushed back his chair and hurried towards the door.

Willow felt like a deer trapped in the headlights. She couldn’t force herself to move. She saw him reach the doorway.

“Willow” He said her name softly.

She found her voice. “Sorry, I was wanted to get something cold to drink. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“It’s okay.” He answered. “I was just trying to write down some of my thoughts. Come on, I’ll get you a drink.”

Willow felt her heart racing. She wasn’t ready to face him again. “No, that’s okay. I don’t really want one now.” She started to turn.

“Please.” He said, “Come in and sit. We need to talk.”

She wanted to tell him she was too tired, she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t. Slowly she moved towards him and as she neared he stepped back into the kitchen. Willow moved to the table and took a seat while he poured her a glass of ice water.

He sat it down in front of her. “This okay?”

She nodded.

Gerard sat across from her and tried to find the words he needed to say. He was about to speak when he saw Willow reach out for the glass of water. Suddenly his breath caught when he saw the angry read marks on her arm. Marks caused by his anger. “Fuck” He muttered.

Willow followed his gaze. Quickly she pulled her arm back and placed both of her hands in her lap.

“I’m sorry, so fuckin’ sorry I hurt you.” His voice was rough with emotion.

Willow looked down unable to meet his eyes. “It’s okay. It doesn’t even hurt.”

“I’m not taking about the physical abuse I’m talking about the mental.” Gerard said shaking his head. “I’m fucking sorry I hurt you, I’m fuckin’ sorry I forced you come back with me.”

Willow felt tears spring to her eyes. He was regretting bringing her back. “So I can leave?” She whispered.

Pain tore through his heart hearing that she wanted to leave him. He forced himself to answer, “I can’t make you stay.”

Willow’s only thought was to leave before she broke into tears. She stood up suddenly and ran towards the darkness of the living room. Gerard lowered his head but was surprised a moment later when heard her softly crying. He followed the sound and realized she was sitting on the sofa. Quickly he moved towards her and flipped on the table lamp. Her head bowed, her body was shaking.

“Willow?” He whispered unsure what she was thinking.

When she looked up he saw tears rolling down her face. “I’m so stupid. I just want you to say the next line.”

For a brief moment he was confused but then he understood. Sitting down next to her he said softly, “But where’s your heart?”

Willow looked into his eyes “With you” Tears ran down her cheeks, “ but you don’t want it.”

He closed his eyes a moment and felt a small glimmer of hope. “You don’t know if that’s true or not, do you?”

It took her only a moment to understand. “No, I don’t. I have no idea what you are thinking. Your thoughts are silent to me.”

Her honesty touched him. “Then let me tell you since you can’t hear my thoughts. I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave me. I want to try to make things right but I know I’ve fucked up and I’m not sure where to begin.”

His words slowly penetrated through her pain. “Why don’t you want me to go?” she whispered.

Gerard paused a moment then opened his heart to her. “Because I love you. I didn’t want to and I fought it but now I know how wrong I’ve been. You make me feel alive, Willow. You’ve brought love back into my life.” He reached out and took her hand in his and the sensation of her touch spurred him on. “Grandma bringing you into my life was a great gift but I was too stupid to understand. I was too stupid because I let myself believe my broken heart couldn’t heal never once realizing it didn’t have to be like that.”

Willow looked deeply into his eyes. “You really love me?” She whispered then held her breath waiting for him to answer.

He tightened his hold on her hand, “I love you, Sugar. I just want to believe there is some way we can get past what has happened. I won’t lie to you. I don’t understand why you did what you did but in my heart I believe you’d never do anything to hurt me.”

Willow closed her eyes to give his words a moment to fill her heart. When she opened them see could see the searching in his eyes. He was still afraid, that she knew. “Gee, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I knew you wouldn’t understand.” She looked away at a loss for words.

It was at that moment Gerard realized that his love for this woman was stronger than any doubt he could have. He was ready to offer his heart to her. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters to me except the here and now.”

Willow understood what he was saying. He was telling her that even though he still didn’t understand why she had become pregnant he was ready to blindly trust her love for him. That was the greatest gift her could ever give her. “Oh, Gee..” her voice trailed off as the feeling washed over her.

Gerard was watching her closely. “Sugar, what is it?”

A beautiful smile covered her face. Slowly she raised both of her hands to cup his face then gently turned his head.

“Grandma” Gerard whispered seeing what Willow saw through the gift of her touch. For a minute he simply stared as tears filled his eyes. When he spoke his voice shook with emotion. “Willow, who is that with her?”

Willow took her left hand away from his face and reached down to take his hand in hers. Slowly she raised their intertwined fingers, placed them on her stomach and said gently, “Our daughter.”

Gerard’s tore his gaze away to look into Willow’s eyes. “Our daughter?”

“Yes” Willow confirmed, “Our daughter.”

A feeling of pure joy filled his heart. He looked back towards his grandmother and the young girl who stood at her side. “That’s why she looks like that, transparent?”

“Yes.” Willow answered, “Because she’s not been born yet.”

“Oh God.” Gerard whispered. “She’s beautiful.”

As they both watched the young girl slowly faded and a feeling of warmth suddenly radiated beneath their hands. Elena’s eyes met Willows and one last image was shared before she slowly faded..

“Thank you.” Willow whispered knowing the visit had come so that Gerard would understand.

When he looked back at Willow there were tears in his eyes, “You’ve seen her before, haven’t you?”

“Yes.” Willow admitted. “At first I was confused because I had never seen anything like her but that night I met your mom Elena showed me images that made me understand.” She leaned forward and kissed him gently. “Gee, each of us has a time to be born and a time to die. I understood that at this place in time our daughter was to be born but I knew there was no way I could explain that to you. I knew your heart was so hardened that you would never have allowed her conception.” She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry I deceived you but I knew it was what I had to do. It is our daughter’s time to be born. In her lifetime she will do some very important things.”

Gerard was in awe. “You know this?”

“Images your grandma showed me made me understand. I do not know exactly what our daughter will do but I know it will benefit many people. Her life will touch so many others. Knowing this I did what I had to do. After that night I stopped taking my birth control. I hated that I was deceiving you and I knew that there was a good chance that if you found out you would hate me.” Her voice broke with emotion, “But I knew it was what I had to do.”

Gerard was still struggling to understand. “You saw our daughter with Grandma and knew what had to happen?”

“I understood how important it was that she be conceived but I was terrified.” She tried to explain the fear she’d felt, “I knew this but I couldn’t tell you. I was sure you would have believed I was trying to trap you into a relationship but I hoped with all my heart that you would love me.” She lowered her eyes, “Your grandma told me to have faith that it would happen.”

Gerard was slowly beginning to understand. “Even though you believed I didn’t love you you still chose to have my baby.”

She looked up into his eyes, “Yes because I also knew that our daughter will help you.”

“Help me?”

Willow nodded slowly, “Yes. You won’t be afraid to give your love to her.”

He was still trying to piece everything together, “But you left me.”

Willow felt tears come to her eyes again, “That last night at the Paramour you told me that marriage and children would never be a part of your life. I panicked. I thought that somehow I had done something wrong, that you were supposed to love me but you didn’t.” A single tear rolled down her cheek, “I thought I’d failed.”

Gently his finger brushed away the tear, “Did you know you were pregnant?”

She nodded, “Yes, in my heart I knew our daughter had already been conceived.”

“Oh, Sugar.” Gerard pulled her to him. “If only you’d told me.”

Willow gently kissed his cheek, “Would you have believed me?”

He sighed, “No, I wouldn’t have.” He admitted sadly. “I was so caught up in my own pain I could never see beyond it.” He moved back slightly so that he could look into her eyes, “A daughter.” He marveled unable to say more. His heart now filled with such happiness it was ready to burst.

“I love you, Gee.” Willow whispered. “And I wanted you to love me more than anything in the world but I didn’t think you did.”

“I do love you.” He leaned foreword and kissed her lips. The electricity between them sang. When he pulled away he said, “I still don’t completely understand this feeling between us but I want to spend the rest of my life trying to figure it out. Please say you’ll stay with me and never leave.”

At first her smile looked almost sad but it quickly changed as she spoke, “Of course I’ll stay. You have my heart and soul.”

For a moment he sensed something almost sad in her tone but the happiness he was feeling overwhelmed him. Willow loved him and they were going to have a daughter. Standing he reached out and helped her to her feet then they walked hand in hand down the hall to his bedroom. Once in bed Willow molded her body to his then yawned. She was feeling so much joy knowing her loved her yet sleep was trying to claim her.

“Go to sleep, Sugar.” Gerard whispered softly. “And dream of our life together. Our life with our beautiful daughter.”

Willow closed her eyes and hugged him tightly. .
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AUTHORS NOTE:Hello Everyone - I am posting this while I have a chance. Sadly my home computer has a virus, a very bad one, and my story chapters are trapped in that computer. Luckily I had sent this chapter through the mail to myself from my store so I can post it. I am hoping the computer will be fixed soon so I can get to the last 3 chapters of this story. Oh and the 60 + chapters I have written of my new story. LOL I want to thank all of you for reading and for the comments. Luv ya all - Elena XOXO