Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
If I Can’t Find My Way. [Gerard Way o1] This Fear of Falling Down.
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I don’t want to crash down…. It was like a million screaming loud, the end was coming reeling and it was like the curtain was closing for him, calling his name. He just wanted to keep it safe and sound.
I guessed that I was in the school. I looked around, feeling my bare feet on cold tile. Lockers were on each side of me and doors to classrooms where at the end of the each set of lockers. What was I doing here? I looked down, seeing I was just wearing my gray, bat pajama pants and a white tank top. I knew my hair was in a messy bun and I wasn’t wearing makeup. I wouldn’t come to school like this…. Taking a few steps forward, I heard a door somewhere in the building slam and I knew it was coming from upstairs, and the stairs were behind me.
Turning around quickly, I listened for any sounds, any movements. But nothing came. My breathing quickened and I slowly made my way to the stairs, scared of what was up there. The school was dark, the only light coming from the windows, where the moonlight shown through. I looked to my left into an empty classroom, the board clean of chalk and the desks neatly lined up. Why was I in here? I couldn’t even remember how I got in here….
I walked up the first few steps and turned to the left and walked up the set of stairs that were laid up there. Right then, I should have came to an empty hall, with just lockers and more doors, but I didn’t. I came to another stair case. Right then, I knew something really wasn’t right. My breathing quickened and I felt my heart racing, but something urged me on and I took that first step up the stairs slowly and cautiously.
At the top of the stairs there was a door. A black cold looking door with a smooth, shiny handle that went all the way across the door, that you push on to open it. Something in the back of my mind was telling me not to open the door, but then a feeling in my gut was telling me to go on, I went with my instinct. I pushed against the cold, metal door and it opened swiftly, revealing me to be on the roof of the school building. Cold wind hit against my skin, and blew my hair around, sending goose bumps up my arms and neck.
I walked further and all of a sudden felt a lot of heat on one side of my body. Intense, melting heat. I turned to the edge of the roof and looked down and saw the building was on fire! My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. How did this happen? I had just been on the first floor and it was fine then, and it was empty. No one had been down there…. “Ci?” a slur came from behind me. I turned around and saw Gerard, stumbling over to me, drunk. My eyes widened. “Ci, what are you doing here?” he slurred again, grabbing my shoulder for support.
“Gee…Gee what’s wrong with you?” I asked, worried. His eyes were glazed over and he was in his school uniform. Black khakis, black loafers, a white button up shirt, a navy blue suit jacket and a navy blue tie. His tie was loosened though and his shirt wasn’t tucked in and a few buttons were undone. His hair was a rat’s nest. He didn’t answer me, just brought a cancer stick to his lips and lit it, taking a death drag and the wind blew his hair around and some ashes off the end of his cigarette.
He walked over to the edge of the roof and looked down at the flames, they were dancing around madly in his eyes and the heat was licking at our skin. I gulped, a bad feeling was welling up inside my gut and I knew something bad was about to happen. “Gee, you’re drunk, get away from there…” I said and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away, but he pulled it back and slipped, losing his balance and falling over the edge of the roof. His cigarette left his hand as he grabbed the side of the roof with both of his hands, and looked up at me. I saw his cancer stick fall into the fire and then my eyes shot to his face and tears were staining his cheeks. I could see fear in his eyes as his hands started to slip and I was paralyzed to the spot. I saw his mouth move, trying to say something, but the roar of the flames and the ringing in my ears overpowered his voice and I couldn’t hear him. I just watched him, paralyzed where I stood.
“Ci!” he screamed when his hands let go of the roof’s side and I was standing there like an idiot not helping him. My mouth was gaped as my best friend fell into the flames and I dropped to my knees, next to an empty beer can that Gerard left lying. I heard his screams echoing in my ears as tears slid down my face, down my nose and onto the roof’s floor.
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I don’t want to crash down…. It was like a million screaming loud, the end was coming reeling and it was like the curtain was closing for him, calling his name. He just wanted to keep it safe and sound.
I guessed that I was in the school. I looked around, feeling my bare feet on cold tile. Lockers were on each side of me and doors to classrooms where at the end of the each set of lockers. What was I doing here? I looked down, seeing I was just wearing my gray, bat pajama pants and a white tank top. I knew my hair was in a messy bun and I wasn’t wearing makeup. I wouldn’t come to school like this…. Taking a few steps forward, I heard a door somewhere in the building slam and I knew it was coming from upstairs, and the stairs were behind me.
Turning around quickly, I listened for any sounds, any movements. But nothing came. My breathing quickened and I slowly made my way to the stairs, scared of what was up there. The school was dark, the only light coming from the windows, where the moonlight shown through. I looked to my left into an empty classroom, the board clean of chalk and the desks neatly lined up. Why was I in here? I couldn’t even remember how I got in here….
I walked up the first few steps and turned to the left and walked up the set of stairs that were laid up there. Right then, I should have came to an empty hall, with just lockers and more doors, but I didn’t. I came to another stair case. Right then, I knew something really wasn’t right. My breathing quickened and I felt my heart racing, but something urged me on and I took that first step up the stairs slowly and cautiously.
At the top of the stairs there was a door. A black cold looking door with a smooth, shiny handle that went all the way across the door, that you push on to open it. Something in the back of my mind was telling me not to open the door, but then a feeling in my gut was telling me to go on, I went with my instinct. I pushed against the cold, metal door and it opened swiftly, revealing me to be on the roof of the school building. Cold wind hit against my skin, and blew my hair around, sending goose bumps up my arms and neck.
I walked further and all of a sudden felt a lot of heat on one side of my body. Intense, melting heat. I turned to the edge of the roof and looked down and saw the building was on fire! My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. How did this happen? I had just been on the first floor and it was fine then, and it was empty. No one had been down there…. “Ci?” a slur came from behind me. I turned around and saw Gerard, stumbling over to me, drunk. My eyes widened. “Ci, what are you doing here?” he slurred again, grabbing my shoulder for support.
“Gee…Gee what’s wrong with you?” I asked, worried. His eyes were glazed over and he was in his school uniform. Black khakis, black loafers, a white button up shirt, a navy blue suit jacket and a navy blue tie. His tie was loosened though and his shirt wasn’t tucked in and a few buttons were undone. His hair was a rat’s nest. He didn’t answer me, just brought a cancer stick to his lips and lit it, taking a death drag and the wind blew his hair around and some ashes off the end of his cigarette.
He walked over to the edge of the roof and looked down at the flames, they were dancing around madly in his eyes and the heat was licking at our skin. I gulped, a bad feeling was welling up inside my gut and I knew something bad was about to happen. “Gee, you’re drunk, get away from there…” I said and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away, but he pulled it back and slipped, losing his balance and falling over the edge of the roof. His cigarette left his hand as he grabbed the side of the roof with both of his hands, and looked up at me. I saw his cancer stick fall into the fire and then my eyes shot to his face and tears were staining his cheeks. I could see fear in his eyes as his hands started to slip and I was paralyzed to the spot. I saw his mouth move, trying to say something, but the roar of the flames and the ringing in my ears overpowered his voice and I couldn’t hear him. I just watched him, paralyzed where I stood.
“Ci!” he screamed when his hands let go of the roof’s side and I was standing there like an idiot not helping him. My mouth was gaped as my best friend fell into the flames and I dropped to my knees, next to an empty beer can that Gerard left lying. I heard his screams echoing in my ears as tears slid down my face, down my nose and onto the roof’s floor.
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