Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Only Hope for Me Is You
Words I Couldn't Say
Some violence. Just a warning. I have a new story up too! Read, please?
?Blocked
Frank POV
"Alright, see you guys later!" Gerard called out as we were pulling out of my driveway. I was staying at Gerard's place tonight. Mikey was staying with Bob and Ray.
Before I knew it, we were pulling into an empty space in the parking lot. When we got out, Gerard took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together and we walked into the building, making our way towards his apartment.
"What do you wanna do?" he asked me. I just shrugged. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. Well, he tried anyway. I tensed up at his touch. I couldn't help it. I was OK with the hand holding and me touching him, just not the other way around. He backed up off of me and looked at me with questioning eyes.
"Frank, I don't mean to sound like a dick, but...why can't I touch you?" he pleaded with me. I looked at my feet, not wanting to answer. I just shrugged again. He put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched.
"See?" he said, taking his hand off of me. "Every time I touch you, you either tighten up or flinch. Frankie, baby. Please? You know you can tell me anything." He held out his hand and I took it. He led me to his bedroom and we sat down on the bed.
"I don't..." I tried, but the words just won't come out.
"You don't what, babe?" He just looked at me with those beautiful, hazel orbs of his; filled with love and care, concern for me. I love this man...
"...where to start? I mean, he's the reason why I am so messed up. Why I am always alone, why my mother tries to hide the bruises....but it never works..." I broke down into tears.
Gerard looked as if he was trying to decide if to hold me, or just stay there. I moved closer to him, wanting to feel his embrace. He gently put his arms around me, and I fought off my urge to flinch. I cried into his shoulder for a good five minutes, before I decided to carry on. I needed to tell Gerard about my life, why I am so scared of him. I just don't want to get hurt anymore...
"I can't remember when or why it started. My father came home late one night, with whiskey on his breath. My mom and I were sitting on the couch, watching TV. He barged in, and grabbed my mother and threw her on the ground. He basically dragged me upstairs and told me to stay in my room until the next day."
"The next thing I hear is skin on skin; my father's hand on my mother's face. I slowly crept out of my room, trying not to make any sound. I don't even remember how old I was, just that I was old enough to know what was happening."
"I looked down the stairs and saw my mother on the floor. My father was on top of her, beating her, kicking her. I was so shocked by what I saw. My father was always so loving, so caring. He never laid a finger on me or my mom. He wouldn't harm a fly. He was a perfect gentleman to her, to everyone. I don't know what made him lose it...I still don't."
"He got off of her, and I ran back into my room. I hear him coming up the stairs. He almost tore the door off of its hinges, coming in. I was lying in my bed, pretending to be asleep. He grabbed my arm and threw me on the floor. He was beating me, kicking me, just like he did my mother. I don't remember much. I blacked out."
"This continued. Every night he would come home, smashed off his face. Beat my mother, and then beat me. He'd even make me watch her, and made her watch me while he did his beating. I'll never forget the look on my mother's face, the first time he made her watch. She was so pale, looking like she was dead. She had no emotion in her face, but I could see it all in her eyes; pleading with me, to just hang on."
"It wasn't until I was a teenager when he...he..." I couldn't finish it. It was too hard to bear.
"Frankie..." I could tell he was crying by the way his voice was breaking. "Does he...does he rape you?" I broke down into a new set of tears. He held me tight and I cried into his shoulder. I couldn't believe that I had told someone. It felt so good to let it all out.
"Frankie? As long as I am here, he will never harm you ever again." He kissed at my temple, still holding me.
"He, he did leave us. But I just can't escape the feeling that he will be back..."
"Alright, see you guys later!" Gerard called out as we were pulling out of my driveway. I was staying at Gerard's place tonight. Mikey was staying with Bob and Ray.
Before I knew it, we were pulling into an empty space in the parking lot. When we got out, Gerard took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together and we walked into the building, making our way towards his apartment.
"What do you wanna do?" he asked me. I just shrugged. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. Well, he tried anyway. I tensed up at his touch. I couldn't help it. I was OK with the hand holding and me touching him, just not the other way around. He backed up off of me and looked at me with questioning eyes.
"Frank, I don't mean to sound like a dick, but...why can't I touch you?" he pleaded with me. I looked at my feet, not wanting to answer. I just shrugged again. He put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched.
"See?" he said, taking his hand off of me. "Every time I touch you, you either tighten up or flinch. Frankie, baby. Please? You know you can tell me anything." He held out his hand and I took it. He led me to his bedroom and we sat down on the bed.
"I don't..." I tried, but the words just won't come out.
"You don't what, babe?" He just looked at me with those beautiful, hazel orbs of his; filled with love and care, concern for me. I love this man...
"...where to start? I mean, he's the reason why I am so messed up. Why I am always alone, why my mother tries to hide the bruises....but it never works..." I broke down into tears.
Gerard looked as if he was trying to decide if to hold me, or just stay there. I moved closer to him, wanting to feel his embrace. He gently put his arms around me, and I fought off my urge to flinch. I cried into his shoulder for a good five minutes, before I decided to carry on. I needed to tell Gerard about my life, why I am so scared of him. I just don't want to get hurt anymore...
"I can't remember when or why it started. My father came home late one night, with whiskey on his breath. My mom and I were sitting on the couch, watching TV. He barged in, and grabbed my mother and threw her on the ground. He basically dragged me upstairs and told me to stay in my room until the next day."
"The next thing I hear is skin on skin; my father's hand on my mother's face. I slowly crept out of my room, trying not to make any sound. I don't even remember how old I was, just that I was old enough to know what was happening."
"I looked down the stairs and saw my mother on the floor. My father was on top of her, beating her, kicking her. I was so shocked by what I saw. My father was always so loving, so caring. He never laid a finger on me or my mom. He wouldn't harm a fly. He was a perfect gentleman to her, to everyone. I don't know what made him lose it...I still don't."
"He got off of her, and I ran back into my room. I hear him coming up the stairs. He almost tore the door off of its hinges, coming in. I was lying in my bed, pretending to be asleep. He grabbed my arm and threw me on the floor. He was beating me, kicking me, just like he did my mother. I don't remember much. I blacked out."
"This continued. Every night he would come home, smashed off his face. Beat my mother, and then beat me. He'd even make me watch her, and made her watch me while he did his beating. I'll never forget the look on my mother's face, the first time he made her watch. She was so pale, looking like she was dead. She had no emotion in her face, but I could see it all in her eyes; pleading with me, to just hang on."
"It wasn't until I was a teenager when he...he..." I couldn't finish it. It was too hard to bear.
"Frankie..." I could tell he was crying by the way his voice was breaking. "Does he...does he rape you?" I broke down into a new set of tears. He held me tight and I cried into his shoulder. I couldn't believe that I had told someone. It felt so good to let it all out.
"Frankie? As long as I am here, he will never harm you ever again." He kissed at my temple, still holding me.
"He, he did leave us. But I just can't escape the feeling that he will be back..."
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