FicWad

I know I know, Gerard's a dick for leaving. Sorry about that. And this is a serious chapter...no seriously, it is!


Gerard's P.O.V

I just kept walking. I can't handle this right now. I need to get out for a while, get far enough away and pretend it's not happening for a while. Just clear my head and smoke a shit load of cigarettes.

I wondered about in some city, not a fucking clue where I was going, just wondering. Eventually I found myself at a park, a few kids were playing, people were walking their dgo's anad a few joggers were dotted about. The sun was high in the sky and the birds whistled merrily from the trees. But I couldn't see any of it. I was busy walking with my head bowed down, taking deep drags from my smoke. Letting the toxins fill my lungs before slowly releasing the smoke back into the atmosphere.

I found a shady corner of the park with a couple of trees. I dropped to the ground in-front of one and stretched out, still smoking as though the toxins were the only air I nedded.
"You can't run forever Gerard" came a quiet voice from next to me. I looked up guiltily and into the eyes of the one person I was trying to escape, Lydia. Her blue eyes were brimmed with tears as one hand rested subconsciously on her stomach.
"How'd you know where to find me?" I asked, dropping my eyes and staring at the dust that was swirling gently in the breeze.
"I'm a sneeky little bitch when I have to be" I could hear the smirk in her voice. I gave a weak laugh. She sat down next to, stretching out, her top riding up a bit revealing the pale smooth skin of her stomach. She had a tiny litt baby bump and I had the oddest complusion to reach out and stroke it. I reached out slowly, hovering about an inch abover her stomach and my hand was chaking like crazy.
"It's okay Gee" she said softly, placing her hand over mine and gently lowering it to her tiny bump. The skin was soft yet sort of hard at the same time.
"It's really happening, isn't it?" I whispered.
"Yes Gee. It really is" she said softly.
"Fuck" I whispered feeling the tears roll down my cheeks. One fell just next my hand, rolled over her stomach and she giggled.
"What's so funny about a gorwn dude crying?" I asked.
"Not that, it just tickles" she said, giving another little giggle.
"Does Frank know that..." I couldn't finish my sentence.
"You're still alive, aren't you?" she said. I couldn't say anything I was just mesmorised by the pale flesh of her stomach. Every noe and then she'd stroke it lightly and then giggled it when it tickled her.
"You're shut a natural at this" I said, it came out as more of a kiddy whine than an actualy compliment.
"You kidding me, I'm freaking out on the inside, and I've had 3 weeks more than you to get used to the idea. The more I think about it, the more I kinda like it...even if the brat was accidental of course" I giggled slightly, then finally looked up at her.
"You're teffified" was all she said. They're was no denying it, I was.
"You've just got your life back on track after the alcohol and drugs. You're clean now...well done. But your just balancing, but its getting easier by the day. Your learning how to look after yourself and you have no idea what do to with a kid. You're good with them when you ahve to be but your not very hands on when it comes to looking after them. You're just a scared little boy that needs looking after just as much as this kid will" she looked deep into my eyes when she said that. It was like she was reading her words deep from within my soul and brought them out for me to face.
"You know me so much better than I could ever give you credit for"
"Nah I just spoke with your brother before I left"
We looked at each other for about 3 seconds before bursting into giggles like little kids. We sat together in silence before Lydia broke it.
"I'm leaving, for good. Moving far away and starting again. I'll keep in touch with Frank...maybe" she said it so casually as though commenting on weather.
"Why?" I asked, staring into the distance rather than at her.
"You don't anything to dow ith my kid and I don't want this to come between you and Frank. He's been your best friend since...forever! It just makes sense for us. I'd never force you into something Gerard" her blue eyes eventually went to look at me.
"When do you leave?" I asked, trying not to cry again. I'm seriously turning into a girl.
Lydia glanced at her watch before answering.
"2 hours"