Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Patrick's story
A/N: Hey, I'm glad some people like the story. I'd like more reviews, if that's possible. This story is almost done. I believe there's only one chapter after this. Shocking, I'm finishing a story. It's crazy, isn't it? :P Okay, imma shut up now.
This is the boring part that nobody wants to hear. This is your intermission. This is the part of my life where everything blends together. Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years…
I don’t know how many years passed, but I do know they weren’t pretty. Depression, loneliness, meaningless fucks, more depression… It all hit me in waves. It was strange. One month I’d be fine, then the next three months I’d be completely messed up. Up, down, up, down, up, down… Constantly.
I did help out with producing some tracks for other bands. I tried not to be anti-social, but I’m not perfect. I like staying in my house during the day and going for walks in the woods at night. It’s beautiful at night in the woods.
There’s this one tree with white bark and pinkish red leaves. The branches are sturdy and it sits in the middle of this one clearing. For some reason, it calms me. That tree became a part of me. I don’t exactly know how to explain it, but it just… meant something to me. It was always there for me. It always held me up. I know that sounds weird, but let’s face it, I’m not in my right mind, now am I?
Well, one day, I took a walk to that tree. I had my iPod with me too. It was on shuffle. As I reached the clearing, shock and disbelief crossed onto my face.
The tree was dead.
I stared at what used to be beautiful white bark. Now it was black. I touched the smooth shell of the now dead bark. How could this happen? It was just alive and well yesterday. Then my iPod switched from beautiful Mozart to an even more beautiful song. Memories flooded back to me as I sang softly.
“Am I more than you bargained for yet…”
My nails dug into the tree, my vision blurred with tears, and my voice cracked as my throat tightened. Then a phrase, as if on repeat, echoed in my head over and over and over and over and over.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” It wasn’t my voice. It was Pete’s voice. Then Andy’s. Then Joe’s. And finally… mine.
How could I have been so stupid? Instead of picking our friendships back up, I just let them fall and break. Sure, I was angry, but why would I take it out on them? They’re my friends! I should have forgiven them. They didn’t mean to do it, I’m sure.
No words can describe how horrible I felt. I dug my phone out of my pocket. I called the first person I found in my contacts; Andy. It went straight to voicemail. I sighed and called the next; Joe. It rang a couple times, then went to voicemail. I frowned. I hope he didn’t ignore my call. I called the last person on the list; Pete.
He picked up. Pause. Then…
“Pat?” His voice sounded tired. What time was it? I looked at the clock on my phone. Oh, shit, it was 3 AM. No wonder no one answered.
“Pete… I…” My throat tightened. God, I felt so horrible!
“It’s nice to hear from you,” Pete said. I heard him yawn.
“Oh, god, Pete, I’m so sorry. I was so stupid. I feel so horrible. I let our friendship go. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry,” I rambled. I heard Pete sigh.
“It’s… a bit late for that, you know,” Pete said.
“What do you mean?” I asked. Surely he doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want us to be friends, right?
“Pat, it’s been eleven years.”
I winced. Had it really been that long?
“You…” I paused. “You won’t let me make up? I just said I was an idiot. If I could take it back, I would. I’m so sorry Pete, won’t you accept my apology?”
“No.” His voice echoed in my head. Tears welled up in my eyes. “And I wouldn’t call the guys either. They’re on my side.”
Silence.
“Pat, you still there?”
“B-barely.”
A sigh. “Don’t cry.” I could almost picture him rolling his eyes.
“You’ve basically told me I’ve lost all of you. Again. How do expect me to react?” I asked quietly.
“Not like a fucking baby.”
Silence. Long, overpowering silence followed those five words. I looked down at the ground. I kicked at a small root embedded into the dirt.
“So… that’s it?” I asked.
“Bye Patrick,” Pete said as he hung up. I swore that phrase would haunt me. Strangely, I didn’t feel any despair. Actually, I felt quite numb. I stared down at the small screen of my cell phone.
Numb. Completely numb. Nothing but numb coldness. Do you know what that feels like? To be completely numb to the universe around you?
I looked up at the dead tree. Did it know? Is that why it died? Was this tree possibly my hope? I looked down at the ground. I realized I was shaking.
Where’s the rewind button? I desperately needed a rewind button.
A/N: This took me forever to edit and I still don't like it. It's not sad enough to me. Blahhh... well, did you like it? ^^
This is the boring part that nobody wants to hear. This is your intermission. This is the part of my life where everything blends together. Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years…
I don’t know how many years passed, but I do know they weren’t pretty. Depression, loneliness, meaningless fucks, more depression… It all hit me in waves. It was strange. One month I’d be fine, then the next three months I’d be completely messed up. Up, down, up, down, up, down… Constantly.
I did help out with producing some tracks for other bands. I tried not to be anti-social, but I’m not perfect. I like staying in my house during the day and going for walks in the woods at night. It’s beautiful at night in the woods.
There’s this one tree with white bark and pinkish red leaves. The branches are sturdy and it sits in the middle of this one clearing. For some reason, it calms me. That tree became a part of me. I don’t exactly know how to explain it, but it just… meant something to me. It was always there for me. It always held me up. I know that sounds weird, but let’s face it, I’m not in my right mind, now am I?
Well, one day, I took a walk to that tree. I had my iPod with me too. It was on shuffle. As I reached the clearing, shock and disbelief crossed onto my face.
The tree was dead.
I stared at what used to be beautiful white bark. Now it was black. I touched the smooth shell of the now dead bark. How could this happen? It was just alive and well yesterday. Then my iPod switched from beautiful Mozart to an even more beautiful song. Memories flooded back to me as I sang softly.
“Am I more than you bargained for yet…”
My nails dug into the tree, my vision blurred with tears, and my voice cracked as my throat tightened. Then a phrase, as if on repeat, echoed in my head over and over and over and over and over.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” It wasn’t my voice. It was Pete’s voice. Then Andy’s. Then Joe’s. And finally… mine.
How could I have been so stupid? Instead of picking our friendships back up, I just let them fall and break. Sure, I was angry, but why would I take it out on them? They’re my friends! I should have forgiven them. They didn’t mean to do it, I’m sure.
No words can describe how horrible I felt. I dug my phone out of my pocket. I called the first person I found in my contacts; Andy. It went straight to voicemail. I sighed and called the next; Joe. It rang a couple times, then went to voicemail. I frowned. I hope he didn’t ignore my call. I called the last person on the list; Pete.
He picked up. Pause. Then…
“Pat?” His voice sounded tired. What time was it? I looked at the clock on my phone. Oh, shit, it was 3 AM. No wonder no one answered.
“Pete… I…” My throat tightened. God, I felt so horrible!
“It’s nice to hear from you,” Pete said. I heard him yawn.
“Oh, god, Pete, I’m so sorry. I was so stupid. I feel so horrible. I let our friendship go. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry,” I rambled. I heard Pete sigh.
“It’s… a bit late for that, you know,” Pete said.
“What do you mean?” I asked. Surely he doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want us to be friends, right?
“Pat, it’s been eleven years.”
I winced. Had it really been that long?
“You…” I paused. “You won’t let me make up? I just said I was an idiot. If I could take it back, I would. I’m so sorry Pete, won’t you accept my apology?”
“No.” His voice echoed in my head. Tears welled up in my eyes. “And I wouldn’t call the guys either. They’re on my side.”
Silence.
“Pat, you still there?”
“B-barely.”
A sigh. “Don’t cry.” I could almost picture him rolling his eyes.
“You’ve basically told me I’ve lost all of you. Again. How do expect me to react?” I asked quietly.
“Not like a fucking baby.”
Silence. Long, overpowering silence followed those five words. I looked down at the ground. I kicked at a small root embedded into the dirt.
“So… that’s it?” I asked.
“Bye Patrick,” Pete said as he hung up. I swore that phrase would haunt me. Strangely, I didn’t feel any despair. Actually, I felt quite numb. I stared down at the small screen of my cell phone.
Numb. Completely numb. Nothing but numb coldness. Do you know what that feels like? To be completely numb to the universe around you?
I looked up at the dead tree. Did it know? Is that why it died? Was this tree possibly my hope? I looked down at the ground. I realized I was shaking.
Where’s the rewind button? I desperately needed a rewind button.
A/N: This took me forever to edit and I still don't like it. It's not sad enough to me. Blahhh... well, did you like it? ^^
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