FicWad

*This takes place two years after Izzy meets the guys. It's alot longer than I thought it was going
to be and has things that weren't included in Demoliton Summer. Enjoy! And yet again I don't own
MCR*

"Where the hell are you guys?" I wondered aloud to myself as I sat on the curb outside my house. It
was ten minuets till two and my older cousin Frank and his friends had promised to pick me up no
later than one thirty to go to the show they were doing in a small club in New York that night. It
was the first time that I was going to get to see the guys since I had gotten out of school for the
summer. They were on tour for the summer and finally had a show near enough so I could go now that
my mother thought that I was old enough. The sun was hot over me making me sweat and, I feared, my
make up run. It didn't help that I was wearing a black shirt and jeans but there was no way that I
was about to go back into my house to change.

First off I was afraid that the guys would get here and come in, leaving me to wait impatiently at
the door while my mother talked to Frank for three hours. Second was the fact that my Barbie doll
twin sisters were inside. They had decided to come home for the summer and ever since my life had
been one long make over as they attempted to make me look 'normal'. I tried to tell them that I
would rather be naked and bald than run around in Kaki pants and pink polo tees.

Then there was the third reason. I wanted Gerard to notice how much I had changed. In the few months
since he'd seen me last several things had changed. For one I knew that I was within an inch height
of Frank and that I'd grown a body. As my mother put it I had developed 'womanly curves' and filled
out the tight tee quite nice if I did say so myself. Gerard was my idea of a perfect guy and I
wanted to be his idea of a perfect girl even if I was younger than him. One day I'd be old enough
but I wanted him to see now so I'd have something to work with later.

There was rumble from down the street and a white van came bounding down the street. I jumped up and
saw that the driver was none other than the master of disaster and my cousin Frankie Iero. The van
pulled to a stop alongside the curb and the door came open and a frizzy head poked itself out. "Need
a ride little girl?" Ray asked. I smiled at him, "Only if you have candy." I said. He opened the
door more and got out; "It's good to see you Izzy." he said and wrapped me in a bear hug. "Ray-Ray
you're killing her." Mikey said as he disentangled his limbs from the backseat in order to fallow
Ray's lead. He too wrapped me in a hug before letting go and letting Frank take his turn hugging me.
Frank pulled away a few seconds later and smiled, "Izzy, we have someone that we'd like you to meet.
This is Bob Bryar, our new drummer. Bob this is Izzy 'Don't Call Me Izabell If You Like Your Nuts'
Iero AKA, my baby cousin." Frank said. "Nice to meet you." he said and held out his hand. I saw a
familiar glint in my cousin's eye and I ignored the hand and gave Bob a giant hug. I felt him
stiffen in my arms and I giggled.

As I pulled away he looked at me, "You really are Frankie's cousin." he said and I laughed.
"Where's Gee?" I asked. "He's in the back snoring." Mikey replied. "What? He's asleep? Why is he
asleep?" I asked. I saw the four men standing around me give each other a strange look before Mikey
answered, "Gee had a long night last night." he said. I nodded, "Well then it's time he got his butt
up don't you think?" I asked and climbed into the van.

Sure enough Gerard was lying in the very backseat, his head thrown back, snoring. I climbed over the
first seat and leaned over the second and poked him in the chest, "It's time to get up Sleeping
Beauty." I said and poked him again this time harder. He let out a snort then continued to sleep.
Looking around I found a pillow, Ray's judging by the tightly curled strands of hair clinging to it,
and hit him square in the face. This time he woke up, "What the fuck?" he asked and sat up. "Did you
know that you're almost as hard to wake up as Frankie?" I asked. "Izzy? Where the hell are we?" he
asked. "It depends on your definition of 'where' it could mean Earth, The United States, New Jersey
or even outside my house." I said. "How long was I asleep?" he wondered aloud. "Don't know. Why are
you asleep in the middle of the day? It's almost two." I said. Gerard looked at me strange,
"Uh...long night." he said. "Yeah, that's what the guys said." I replied. "C'mon, let's get out this
van I think I'm getting a Charlie horse." he said. I climbed out first and Gee fallowed.

I turned to look at him and froze, he looked awful. His hair was stringy and his skin was almost
deathly pail. He pulled on a pair of sunglasses but not before I noticed the dark circles forming
under his eyes. Suddenly there was a hand on my elbow, "Hey I have something for you, and it's
around back." Frank said and pulled me behind the bus. "Shut up." he said to me. "I didn't say
anything." I replied. "Exactly. Don't say a word to Gee. He's having a hard time right now and you
really don't need to get mixed up in that stuff." he said. I looked at my older cousin, "What kind
of stuff is he into?" I asked. "Just stuff alright. Drop it and don't open your mouth." he said and
walked back around the bus. I shook my head and walked back around as well.

Fifteen minuets, after what seemed like a painfully long convo with my mom, we were headed to the
venue. I talked with all the guys but kept my eye on Gerard who was oddly silent in the backseat.
"So who's the freak that let my cousin drive?" I asked. Ray laughed, "That one was Mikey's idea." he
replied from behind a comic book. "Well Mikey sticks forks in toasters, takes heaters into the
bathtub and leaves tea on the stove." I said and the guys cracked up. "Hey, the heater thing was
only once." Mikey said with a pout but I could see the laughter in his eyes.

We got to the place the guys were playing and I helped them unload the gear from the back even
though they protested that everything was far too heavy for me. I ignored them and proved them wrong
by hoisting Frank's guitar over one shoulder and carrying a rather large case of something or
another up a flight of stairs and into the venue. They were silent after that.

"So who wants to eat?" Frank asked. "Ooh...me! I'm starving." I said. "Me too!" Mikey called. "I
think I'm going to stay back here. Chill out a little by myself before tonight." Gerard said. Once
again the dark looked crossed the guys faces and once again a began to wonder just what was going
on. "Are you sure Gee?" I asked. "Yeah, Izzy you and the guys go. I'll be fine 'kay?" he said and
disappeared into the Green Room. "Let's go Izzy. Ray says he knows a good spot not far from here."
Frank said and with one last look back at the door that Gee had gone though I fallowed my cousin and
his friends.

Lunch was this old diner about thirty minuets from the venue. When I inquired as to why anyone had
called this 'not to far' they all just shrugged. We took our time eating but then had to rush back
to sound check. I didn't bother to ask anything knowing that I'd just get the dark look and some
bullshit answer. As soon as we got back Gee emerged from the Green Room more awake than he had been
when we'd left. I headed out past the stage and took up a seat at one of the tables in the abandoned
club with my sketchbook and a handful of pencils in my hand. I had taken up drawing not long after I
had met Gerard and I was getting pretty good. I planned to show them to him that night.

A few hours later the show started and I was on the floor below the stage surrounded by people, most
of whom wore MCR shirts of some sort. There was a girl standing directly next to me wearing a 'I
Love Iero' shirt. I smiled and tapped her on the shoulder, "You like Frank?" I asked pointing to her
shirt. "C'yeah. He's only the hottest man on the planet." she said. I smiled to myself and turned
back just as the guys came on stage. "Hello New Jersey!" Gerard yelled. I smiled when I saw him. He
was dressed in a black dress shirt, tight black jeans and a red tie with a bar of solid black across
his eyes. The crowd answered back with an almost defining roar and Gee smiled. "Well then lets not
fuck around. Without further ado I give you Drowning Lessons." he said and the music began
Without a sound I took her down
and dressed in red and blue I squeezed
Imaginary wedding gown
That you can't wear in front of me
A kiss goodbye, your twisted shell
As rice grains and roses fall at your feet...

I smiled and swayed to the music as it played. Mouthing every word of the song that I had come to
know all too well. One song led to the next and I couldn't help but smile as I watched them. Frank
jumped around like a kangaroo on acid while Ray was content to stay on his side of the stage and
just rock out like the god that he was. I'd never admit it to Frank but I thought Ray could take him
on guitar any day. Mikey too stood in one spot, leaning back with his head down and his eyes closed.
On several occasions Frank jumped on top of Bob's drum kit, almost knocking it and the drummer over.
Bob looked a little pissed but after spending the last few hours with him I had come to realize that
he was pretty much just a big teddy bear.

I counted off songs as they played them until there was only one left that was still un-played, my
favorite song, Headfirst For Halos. "Okay, it's almost time for us to go but we have one more song
to play and for that song I would like to pull a very, very special girl from the audience to come
up here with us." he said and the room erupted again as every girl in the place fought to be seen by
Gerard. He motioned to me and I hurried up on stage. "Everyone this is Izzy Iero. Frank Iero's
little cousin." he yelled into the mic. I looked up at him and smiled down at me. That when I
noticed him sway a little, he was drunk. I brushed it off. I knew that the guys got hammered on
various occasions and it wasn't anything new for them to do a show inebriated.

I bounced and jumped and pranced just like I knew that I was expected to being related to Frank. I
even got to sing a couple bars with Gee. After the final cords played we all took a bow and headed
back stage. "Oh my god that was amazing." I said and hugged all the guys. After the show everyone
wandered off to get undressed and remove their make up and such. I was wandering around backstage
talking with roadies and such waiting on my cousin to reappear when I heard what sounded like
someone puking. I turned the corner and found Gerard heaving to a trash can, his head resting on the
rim.

"Gee? Gerard are you okay?" I asked. He looked up and groggily stared at me as if I was some
stranger. A look of recognition came over his face and he smiled, "Yeah Izzy...I'm fine." he said.
"No you're not your drunk beyond all belief. C'mon lets get back to the green room." I said and lead
him down the hallway where I deposited him on the couch. "There." I said and sat beside him. He was
asleep in moments and I smiled as I watched him. He looked so young and innocent lying there. I saw
his suitcase open on the floor near the door, his sketch book lying on top. I decided to take a
peak. Yes I know that snooping is bad but he hadn't ever cared about me looking at his stuff before.


I reached into the case and pulled the book up. No sooner had I done so than a small baggy with
white powder and a small compact mirror fell to the floor. I froze at the sight of it. I felt anger
rise up inside me, I grabbed the baggy from the floor and walked over to him. "Gerard!" I said and
kicked his boot as hard as I could. "Gerard!" I yelled again and he slowly opened his eyes.
"Whhhhattt?" he asked. "What the hell is this?" I asked and tossed the baggy at him. It took him a
minuet but he looked down the coke that laid in his hands and then back at me, his eyes mixed with
horror and shame. "What the hell is it Gerard?" I asked. "I-I-I..." he stammered but couldn't get
the words to come out. "Damn you!" I yelled and began to pound at him. I wasn't sure why, maybe it
was the fact that my image of him had been shattered like a little kid seeing the mall Santa take
off his beard or the fact that he'd kept it from me. He'd never kept anything from me.

"Whoa, Whoa!" came a voice behind me and someone put their hands under my arms and dragged me off of
Gerard. "What the hell Izzy?" Frank asked as I struggled to get free of what I realized were Ray and
Bob's arms. Mikey was sitting on the couch next to Gerard looking at his older brother's busted lip.
"He'd doing cocaine!" I yelled and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Izzy, it's okay, we know."
Frank said. I stopped struggling, "Y-you know?" I asked. Frank nodded, "We've known for awhile." he
said. "Then why is he still doing it? What are you even doing with it anyhow?" I asked. Gerard
looked to me, "I-I don't know Izzy." he said. That was it for me. In the lapse of me fighting them
Bob and Ray had weakened their grip on me so I was able to break free. I ran for from the room and
out into the street. I kept running until I couldn't breath and I thought that my chest was going to
rip in two. Collapsing on the sidewalk I cried.

"Izzy!" came a yell and my head shot up. Frank and Bob were running toward me. I wasn't sure how
long I had been sitting there just that the streetlight above me blinked insistently. I didn't move
as they approached me just sat there looking at them. "What do you think you're doing running off
like that?" Frank asked his eyes blazing. I just shook my head, "I just want to go home Frankie." I
said. He sighed and the anger disappeared, "Fine. Let's go." he said.

I climbed on the bus with Bob behind the wheel and me in the backseat between Ray and Frankie. "What
happened to Mikey and Gee?" I had asked. "Mikey went to make sure that Gee got back to his hotel
safely." Frankie replied. "Oh. I wanted to apologize and say good-bye." I said disappointed. "You'll
see them again soon." Ray said and gave me a hug. I nodded and curled up tighter against Frank and
fell asleep.
************************
three months later
I was sat on my porch drawing in my sketchbook. Nothing too major just a doodle of a tree. It was
cool outside and I had my jacket pulled around me and a cup of coffee beside me. My mind was
wondering again, back to Gerard. I hadn't seen him since that night at the club. I hadn't really
heard from the rest of the guys either for that matter. They were busy finishing the summer tour and
now they were on their winter leg. Frank and they guys were coming back home for the winter
including Bob who lived mainly in Chicago.

I wasn't sure about Gee. He hadn't talked to me at all. Usually I got letters in the mail along with
pictures he'd drawn and things like that but since that night, nothing. He hated me and there was
nothing that I could do about it. I mentally scolded myself, I was thinking about Gee again and
crying. Something I hated to do. I wiped my eyes and looked down at the sketchbook. It was streaked
with tears. I sighed and went to go back inside.

"Izzy?" I froze at the sound, the familiar voice. "Gerard?" I asked and turned around. He was
standing on my porch in his black leather jacket, looking much better than he had the last time I
had seen him. "Hey." he said. "Hey." I replied. "I thought that you and the guys were out on tour."
I said "We have a weekend break. Frank's gonna come and surprise you later. Can we talk?" he asked.
I nodded and walked over and sat with him on the porch swing that I had occupied moments before. "I
want to thank you." he said. "Thank me?" I asked. "Yeah. When you yelled at me, the hurt on your
face it tore me up inside. I knew that I was hurting more than just myself with everything but I
really didn't see it until I saw it in your face." he said. "So are you...?" I asked and he nodded.
"I haven't touch anything but cigarettes and coffee for almost two months." he said. I felt my
insides swell and I tossed my arms around his neck sobbing. "It's okay Izzy." he said.

He let me cry until I couldn't anymore, "Sorry." I said. "It's okay. Hey what's that ?" he asked
pointing down at the sketchbook in my hands. "Oh...it's my drawings." I said. "Can I see them?" he
asked. I nodded and handed it too him. "These aren't half bad." he replied as he flipped though.
"Thanks." I replied. After he was done he handed it back to me. "Hey do you want to go to the comic
store?" he asked. "Sure." I said. "Hey what about Frank?" I asked. "What about him?" Gerard asked.
"Isn't he coming over?" I asked. "Yeah but when he finds out that you're gone he'll know where you
went." he said with a smile. "Okay, lets go." I said and we headed out.