FicWad

Maybe there's something more someone needs out of life, and maybe it just doesn't work out.
Hope is what we hold on, and fear is what we lose when we have hope, and when we have hope we have the ability to take that leap of faith. Within that leap of faith is a desire. But what i have is an erotic burning desire for the lead singer of My Chemical Romance. Now for all you fangirls out there who think you have some sort of claim on him, you're wrong. I have this claim and no one else.
My name is FranK Iero, and until you spend all the time I have had with him, you can't possibly understand what I am going through. Gerard has been acting like a motherfucking lunatic. I mean seriously he's been acting like he doesn't even know me and what hurts the most, is that i know that he actually cares about me. Even if it is brotherly. Gerard and I used to do everything together. Also I know everything about him, like how far he likes the covers to be pulled up, what brand of cigarettes he smokes, what his favorite brand of eyeliner is. EVERYTHING. And now like the nut he is, he acts like he doesn't care.
I finally pick up the razor blade that has been staring at me for an hour now. I sit down cross legged, leaning against the wall.
"One because no one cares" I murmur pulling the blade across my wrist.
"One because I'm unloved" I pull the blade across my wrist again making another nice fresh cut right next to it.
"One because I am afraid" Another cut, a little deeper
"One because I'm in love" A little deeper
"And one because, he just doesn't love me back" This one is the deepest, and through my clenched teeth i suck in the cold icy air as I watch the blood ooze down my arm. It starts trickling onto my pants. I feel myself get dizzy as my body starts to get cold.
As I think, I think about sacrifice. I think about how Vincint Van Gogh, cut off his ear to impress the one he loved. I think about how talented many people are, but they also can't have someone they love. And is love really such a huge sacrifice that no one can achieve it. I sigh and look up, I see the bandages scream out to me, but I ignore them. I am going against, my religion and everything I believe this. But at the same time I am giving the world one less mouth to feed. I have everything prepares. I updated my will, and said my goodbyes, even if the guys don't realize it. I even wrote a letter to Gerard.
Dear Gerard,
As my body grows cold I can only think of you. And even though I have gone against everything you have preached about, just know I still love you. And even as my world grows quiet, remember that I am still with you. And even if you stop caring about me, remember I have and always will care about you. Sometimes people are selfish, but they always have a reason. I have tried everything you said. I talked to Mikey, but it didn't help. And I know Mikey didn't tell you, because I made him swear to stay silent. I love you Gerard Arthur Way, and I always will. But as I welcome this black abyss please realize, that maybe somethings are meant to be this way
I Love You,
Frankie
I started seeing blackness, as it began it's adventure of washing over me.
Goodbye everyone, I love you. And I am truely sorry