Categories > Original > Humor

Dreamcatchers And Mysterious Powers

by Gingerflame2006 0 reviews

Eliza Thornberry's getting married let the hilarity begin

Category: Humor - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Romance - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2010-03-05 - Updated: 2010-03-05 - 1615 words

It was a sunny day as Eliza kissed her fiance and the crowd cheered as the wedding was coming to a close.

Debbie(Crying) I'm so happy for you little sister.

Eliza's husband: Hey what about me?

Debbie: Yea, yea, yea you too.

Eliza: Get used to him Deb, he's a part of the family now.

Debbie: I know but it's going to take me awhile to like him.

Eliza's Husband: I'm not everyone's cut if beef I understand that.

Debbie(Making a face) I think I just became a vegetarian.

Eliza: Good because eating animals is cruel and unusual.

Debbie(Licking her lips) Yea but they sure taste good on a hamburger bun.

Eliza's husband: So sweetie let's head to the reception.

The witch doctor that gave Eliza her powers walked up as John her new husband was walking off.

Eliza(Angrily whispering) What are you doing here?

Witch doctor: Mrs. Thornberry congratulations, I wanted to give you your wedding gift early.

Eliza(Tearing the paper off) Uhh it's a dreamcatcher, thanks but I could have made one of these.

Witch doctor: Not this one, in fact it's for your first born daughter, this dream catcher is authentic and special.

Eliza: I appreciate you coming and all, but I think my husband got a glimpse or two of you.

Witch doctor: Let him peek all he wants, you'll tell him when you feel the time is right.

Eliza: Yea there's a good dinner conversation, John honey I can talk to the dog and cat can you pass the potatoes?

Witch doctor: Like I said you'll know when the time is right.

Eliza: I'm thinking I should never have to tell him.

Witch doctor: That's going to be a hard thing not to notice Mrs. Thornberry.

Eliza: I'm a park ranger, I'm sure I can explain it to him.

Witch doctor: If you do happen to tell him, let me know how he takes it.

Eliza: Thanks for the support doc.

John(Walking up to Eliza) You coming or what?

Eliza(Walking off) Yea I'm coming, I was just saying goodbye to my uncle Jasper, crazy uncle Jasper.

Witch doctor: I'll see you at the next family reunion.

Eliza: I'll look for you uncle Jasper.

John(Pulling Eliza outside) Uncle Jasper seems a little weird.

Eliza: He's a witch doctor what do you expect from him?

John: I expected him to dress civil for one.

Eliza: Uncle Jasper's not the civil dressing type, but I had to invite him because he's family.

John(Opening the door for Eliza) After you sweetie.

Eliza smiled not noticing the dreamcatcher glowing green and the cloth turning into tiger's fur.

Witch doctor: Mrs. Thornberry I just hope you know what your doing.

At the recption Eliza and John were smiling as everyone clapped when they saw them walk in.

Maryanne: There's my swwet little girl, congrats son in law.

John had blonde hair, blue eyes, and tan skin as he smiled at his new family.

Debbie: It's not to late for divorce love birds.

Eliza(Resting her head on John's shoulder) And lose all this?, not a chance.

Debbie: 99.9 percent of all marriages end in divorce.

Eliza: Then we still have a chance.

Debbie: What does your hubby have to say about that?

John(Kissing Eliza) I think we still have a chance.

Nigel: I'm proud of you poppet, you've found a boy to spend the rest of your life with.

Debbie: I give them a month two tops, then he'll see how crazy this family is and like Jack he's hitting the old road.

John: I don't care how crazy her family is because I never had a family in my life.

Debbie: Well then buckle up and enjoy the Thornberry family ride.

Eliza: John I have something to tell you alone, let's go make sure the cake's still edible.

John not knowing this side of Eliza was scared when she said she had a secret to tell him.

Eliza: I should get this done sooner rather than later Jonny, I have a gift that's so unusual that you would never believe it.

John: Can you put your legs over your head?

Eliza: Don't be silly I'm not an acrobat, this is so much weirder than that.

A bird flew on the window's ledge as it chirped a son and only Eliza knew what it was saying.

Bird: All right chicks let's make this one count, Congratualtions on your big day

Chicks(Singing) Your big day.

Bird(Singing) You've seen us through thick and thin.

Chicks: Thick and thin.

Bird: So this is the pressent that we givvvvvvvvvveeeeeeee.

Chicks: That we givvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee.

Bird(Plucking a feather from her and her chicks) Feathers from the bluebird my love.

Chicks: Feathers for her love.

Eliza(Waving her hand) Scat I have important business here.

John(Laughing) Elize you were chirping at the birds.

Eliza: That's my gift.

John: Bird calls?

Eliza: No I can talk to animals like humans, and I can understand them.

John(Feeling her forehead) I think your running a fever sweetie.

Eliza: I feel fine, I'm not kidding those birds were here singing us a wedding song.

John: Eliza say I do believe this crazy gift, why don't you prove it?

Eliza: I will come with me.

Debbie: Are we getting some grub here I'm starved?

Eliza: Here Debbie knows, she knows I can talk to animakls like real people.

Debbie: Yea she saved a leopard cub from doing it once, needless to say she was shipped off to a school in jolly old England before that.

John: How much is she paying you to say that?

Debbie: Nothing, I mean I wish she was paying me my rent's due next week and I have no cash.

Witch doctor: Mrs. Thornberry I would likt to again congratulate you with another gift.

The witch doctor waved his stick as a light surrounded John and his mouth opened in amazement.

Witch doctor: Now you have no reason to tell him about your gift because now he has it too.

John: Uncle Jasper that was a wicked lightshow but do you really expect me to believe I can talk to animals?

Darwin: Yea I mean he really doesn't give that gift to everyone, just to you Eliza.

John rubbed his eyes not believing that a monkey was talking to him.

Eliza: John meet Darwin my only animal friend, that is until we get a cat and a dog.

John: So uncle Jasper's lightshow was a gift given to me?

Eliza: He's not my uncle, actually we're not even related.

John: So who is he?

Witch doctor: Just a friend who gave your wife a dreamcatcher with a gift that will impact your firstborn daughter forever.

Eliza: What exactly is in this dreamcatcher?

Witch doctor: The same gift you have, on your daughter 11th birthday she'll have all the gifts you do.

John: What if we have a son?

Witch doctor: Then don't give him that dreamcatcher, it's for the firstborn daughter.

John's son Clinton tapped his glass as everybody looked up.

Clinton: Being the son of the groom I think there's some things that have to be said.

Eliza(Whispering) What is he doing?

John: Showing off the golden heart he was blessed with just listen.

Clinton: Three years ago if somebody told me I would have another mother, I would have told all of you that you were twisted and demented.

Eliza: Ohh my God he's going to talk about his mother.

John(Kissing her) Just let him talk.

Clinton: Then in three years I saw my dad happy again, he had a spring in his step, and he was even tolerable to be around.

The people laughed as Clinton walked away from the table and made his way through the crowd.

Clinton: What I'm saying is Eliza made my dad the man he is now, and when he said he was getting married I was nervous at first.

Eliza: That's why he didn't talk to me for the longest time, he was scared of what I was going to do to you.

Clinton: I was nervous because I didn't know how Eliza would see me, my mom and dad fought all the time and it was usually about me.

John: Now he's bearing his soul.

Clinton: I admit I don't know much about Eliza because I shyed away from her, I just wanted the world to go away at one point.

Eliza: This is so sweet of him to do this.

Clinton: The night I turned around was when Eliza pulled me aside, and cried on my shoulder telling me that she wanted my approval.

John: I remember that, you burned dinner because you thought he hated you, we had Chinese that night.

Clinton: I could do nothing but cry back and hug her as I saw the one woman my dad wasn't going to lose sight of besides his ex wife.

John: She still makes me cringe to this day.

Clinton: Once I started talking Eliza and I were hitting it off, we were like old friends playing catch up.

Eliza: And we still are.

Clinton(Raising his glass) So here's to my family, my new mom, my dad, and brothers and sisters to come.

Crowd: Here here.

Eliza started crying again as Clinton walked up to her.

John: Son that was the best speech I've ever heard.

Eliza could only nod her approval as Clinton hugged her.

Clinton: Now we're one big happy family.

What happens when Eliza's firstborn has her 11th birthday party read Chapter 1 Gifts And Weird Dreamcatchers and reply to the introduction
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