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It amazes me. It truley does.
How can people carry on...so..so normal?
Its like they forgot.
Forgot what that person ment.
Forgot one minute they were so full of life next minute not an inch of air left in their body.

I'll never forget him. Gerard will never forget him. Bert, Ray and Bob will never forget him.
Mikey James Way. He ment so much to me, To his brother, To his Fiance and His Friends.
We'll never forget him.

"Frank, Are you okay?"
"Just thinking about Mikey Mom"
"Gerard probably needs you right now"
"He probably wants to be alone"
"Frank, I think you should go see him"
"Mom hes my boyfriend-"
"And his baby brother just died"
I sighed angrily and stomped upstairs to get my jacket.

I took my phone and text Gee to let him know I was on my way over.
As I walked past Mom she pulled me into a hug

"Frank, I'm always here for you if you ever want anything"
"I know" I sighed walking out the door.

I walked down the main street.
hands in my pocket.
Headphones in my ear blasting My Way, Sid Vicious
My Way was played at Mikeys funeral.

FLASHBACK
I held onto Gerards waist supporting him.
He was a mess. We all were
Mikeys fiance Bert stood with Donna and Donald.
As a priest read a verse from the Bible I felt Gerard crying and shaking violently
Hearing my boyfriend cry made me cry even harder.
My Way began to blast through the cemetery.

"we now comit this body to the ground. Earth to earth, Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust" The preist spoke over Sid.

I watched my best friend take his last journey into the ground.
I found myself crying hystericly.

"Mikey! Mikey no! please Mikey. I love you!" Gerard screamed running over to the coffin, touching the top trying to grab hold of it.

"Mikey, please dont go!" Gerard cried while Bob, Ray, Bert and Donald pulled him away and brought him back to me.

He stood with his head on my shoulder and his arms tightly around my waist.

"This has to be a dream. He was only 23 he cant be gone" Gerard cried into me
"I know Gee. I know" I cried not sure what to say
END OF FLASHBACK

I wiped away tears that escaped my eyes.
I made a quick stop at Starbucks getting me and Gee coffee.
Once I had the coffee I continued to Gerards. One last street until I was at Gerard and Mike- until I was at Gerards.

I knocked on the door and waited for an answer

"Hey Frank"
"Hi Donna" I smiled
"Gees in his room" She said letting me in.
"Hows he been?" I asked knowing he wouldnt tell me
"We havnt really seen him"
"Oh" I replyed shocked.

I turned around to see a picture from last Christmas.
Me, Gee, Bob, Ray, Bert and... Mikey.
Seeing his signature smile made me breakdown.
I knew I had to be strong for Gee but I just cant.

Mikey looked so happy. So alive. So, so, so Mikey
Donna took the coffee and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry Donna"
"Shhh Frankie, Dont be"
"Frankie! Whats wrong?" Gee called pushing my head into his chest.
"I miss him Gee, I miss him so fucking much" I finaily cried
Gerard was scilent for a few moments before sniffing deeply

"I know baby, I miss him too"
"Im sorry Gee" I choked out
"What for honey?" He wispered into my ear
"For crying, Im ment to be strong for you"
"One, Your aloud to cry. Two, you are being strong" He said kissing my forehead

I hadn't been here since Mikey died
It would take a while to get use to not hearing the pounding of Mikeys Bass.
Not seeing Bert and Mikey snuggled up on the couch watching a new horror
and not listening to Mikey talk about his geeky stuff that made him so Mikey.

"lets go to my room" Gee said taking my hand
"I got Coffee" I said trynna sound useful

That only made Gee laugh.

"Where theres Coffee, Theres a Way" Gee said quoting Mikey.
"Sure is" I said picking up my cup.
*

Me and Gee sat in his room talking about nothing

"Gee?"
"Yeah Baby?"
"Do you wanna stay with me the nite?"
"At yours?"
"Yeah"
"When would I say no?"
I giggled. "Thats what I thought"

"Would your Mom let me?"
"Of course she would!"
"Okay then"
"Do you wanna go now then?" Gee asked taking my hand again.
"If you want" I smiled back

Gee kissed the back of my hand and jumped up stuffing clothes in his famous Misfits bag.

He pulled me up the stairs
I haven't seen Gee this happy in a long time.

"Gee baby, What do you want for dinner?"
"I'm staying at Franks so its up to Mike- Its up to Dad" He said sadly after nearly saying Mikey.

I squeezed his hand and gave him an apoligetic look.

"were going!" Gerard said before he broke down.
"Okay Son, I love you"
"Love you too Mom" He said taking my hand.

We walked into the crisp Jersey air.
It was about 6 and only street lamps and the moon light lit the sky.
We walked in quiet for abit.

"How many times have you done that Gee?" I spoke up
"The Mikey situation?"
I nodded
"all the time. Wanna know something Babe?" He asked as we walked up my drive
"How about you tell me inside once we've eaten"
"Okay Baby" Gee said putting on a brave face.

"Hows Gerard today love?" Mom called from the kitchen
"I'm getting better thanks Linda" Gerard called back
"Oh Gerard! hello love" Mom said giving Gee a huge hug

"Mom, Its okay if Gerard stays right?"
"Absolutely. Why would you ask"
"Just double checking Ma"
"Gerard, You love Mac and Cheese dont you?"
"Love it Linds"
"Good, We'll have it for dinner"
"Okay Mom, We'll be in my room"
"Okay boys"

Gerard layed on my bed listening to Green Day, American Idiot.

"ready to tell your story?"
Gee inhailed deeply.

"The other day I was board so I went to his room. I sat there for 3 hours waiting for him.
So I rang Bert. when I asked Bert when he was coming home Bert broke into tears and so did I.
I realized he was never coming home" Gee said with tears falling onto my shirt.
That story made me cry.
Nobody knows what Mikey means to Gerard.

"Baby, Why didnt you come over or something?"
"cause I thought if I went to sleep I'd wake up and it would all be a long nightmare"

I pushed Gerards head into my chest while I held him. We both shead tears...

"baby?"
"Yeah Frankie?"
"I love you so fucking much"
"I love you too. Please dont ever leave me, I couldnt handle that"
"I never would Gee. I couldnt bare life without you" I said with more tears falling
"Me eather" He replyed.

Gerard looked up from my chest placing his lips against my own

"Your my everything Frankie"
"Your my everything too Gee" I smiled and kissed his hair.

"Boys?" Mom knocked on the door.
"Come in Mom"
"Dinners ready"
"Okay coming" I said.

Gee got off me and stood over me.
"Lets go Frankie" He said taking my hand.

we sat at the table
me and Gee on one side
Mom and Cameron on the other.

Camerons my step Dad.
He and Mom married
as did Dad and Rose. They live in Ohio so I never see them.

we had silence while Mom prayed.
She said a prayer for Mikey, Gee and Myself.
and then a traditional one.

Me and Gee ate like it was last supper
We both love Moms Mac and Cheese.
Its the best in the world.

"wow Linda, This is amazing" Gee said forcing more pasta in his mouth.
"Thanks Gerard, I know how much you love it"
"Yes. yes you do"

After dinner was over me and Gee helped Mom and Cam clean up.

"Thanks Kids" Cam said once we did the dishes.

"We're gonna head off to bed now"
"Okay Frankie" Mom said kissing my cheek"
"Night Cam, Night Linds" Gee said quietly
"Night Gerard" they both said back.

Me and Gerard lied in each others arms

"Thanks Frank"
"Why are you thanking me Babe?" I wispered
"For bringing me over and taking my mind off...-"
"Your more than welcome Gee" I cut hiim off cause I knew it hurt to say his name

I felt a kiss upon my cheek
"Lets get some sleep" Gee called over the now pouring rain.

"Okay, Love you baby"
"Love you too Frankie"

I kissed his lips softly
I was almost asleep when I heard a heart breaking comment fall from Gerards lips.

"little brother, Stop crying. We'll be together again soon"
I figured he was talking about the rain being Mikey crying.

I woke to the smell of cigaretts.

"Morning my love"
"Morning Gee" I smiled as he handed me his smoke
"mmm taste like you"
"Thats good" he said hugging me.

"Your Mom left for work"
"Oh okay, So its just me and you?"
"Yeah"
"Wanna take a shower?" I asked cheekily
"when would I reject that?"
"Dunno" I answered with a smile

Gerard pulled me excitedly from my queen bed.
Once the water was got enough we helped each other strip.

we stood in the shower and I was completely mezmorized by Gees eyes

"Your so beautiful baby" Gerard said pulling me under the water
"must have rubed off on me from you" I said kissing his neck

"R-Really?" He panted
"Mmhm" I groaned kissing and biting his collerbone

"So good Frankie"
"I know"

his hands wandered down my back and to my ass where he pushed me closer to him.
I groaned as his erection pushed against my thing

"Let me help you out" I smiled taking him In my hand
As I pumped him up and down I saw his filthy smile take over

"F-fuck baby"
I smiled into his neck as I heard his breathing get uneven and felt him tighten
I pumped harder and faster

"Im gonna cum" He wispered lovingly
"Ready when you are" I smiled

In the final stage I twisted my hands around his dick. Knowing thats what he loves

"Fuck FRANKIE!!!" HE yelled as he came everywhere
Gerards arms snaked around my waist

"Love you so much baby" He panted
"Love you too Gee"
*

We'd had lunch when Donna rang Gee to go home.

"want me to walk you?"
"nah, I'll be fine darling"
"Okay" I sighed standing against the door

"One more thing before I go"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you so much for everything. I know your always there for me"
"You know it Gee"

Gerard leaned in closer to my lips.
I shut my eyes and enjoyed his tounge dancing in my mouth.

"I'll call you later"
"Kay Gee"
"Love you so much Babe"
"Love you more"
"Nah, I love you more than a Coke freak loves Coke" and with that he walked off.

For the rest of the day I wrote and played guitar.
I looked at the time. Ha! it was 9
Gee still hadnt called.
At that moment I heard a shriek from downstairs
Somethings not right.

"s-son?"
"Come in Ma"
Mom walked in with some paper in her hand

"im-Im so sorry honey" She cried wrapping her arms around me

"Whats happened to Gee?" I cried feeling sick with tears rolling down my face.

She handed me the paper and left
I ran to my bed and sat there

I unfolded the paper and began reading

'Frank, My one and only.
You know I love you. I know you love me too.
Thats why you should know why I've done this, Why your reading this.
Mikey.. I miss him so and I know you'll miss me
Love, dont be mad, Im not gone forever. We'll be together soon.
Well baby, stay strong, Stay you and never forget I love you

Your one and only Gerard xoxo'

I dunno how I read that. All I know is I have to be with him.

I wrote on some paper
'Not without me you dont Gee, On my grave put a Dove. To show the world I died for love'

I tied my belt to the inside of my closet then around my neck
I fell from the chair.

"I love you Gerard Baby" I said as my world went black.


Thank you all for reading. It makes my day. Anyway tell me what you think.
Love you all, Brit xoxo