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"Frankie! open the door, Please Honey. Its ok. I dont mind please open the door" I said bashing on it.
I knocked for a futher five minutes.

"Fuck this!" I kicked the door untill the hindges gave out and the door flew open.

"Frankie.. Come out" I looked around untill I saw him laying in the shower.
"FRANKIE!!!" I screamed rushing over to him.

The first thing i checked was his pulse. He had one. He was alive.
I rushed immediatly to my room grabing the phone dialing 911.

"Hello, Please state your emergencey"
"My, Boyfriend is unconcious, and his wrists are bleeding, Please you have to help him" I cried into Frankies neck
"ok whats your address?"
"182 Third street north Belleville"
"ok now your going to have to do somethings for me"
"ok"

"take some towels"
I grabbed seven or eight towels.

"Now what?"
"wrap them as tightly as you possiably can around his wrist"
"wont it hurt him?"
"no, just do it"

I shakily did as the operator suggested.

"Now what is your name?"
"My name is Gerard Way"
"ok, What is your boyfriends name?"
"Frankie Iero"
"how old is he?"
"hes 16"
"Ok what is his address?"
"The same as mine"
"Ok. Paramedics should be there very soon Gerard. is your front door unlocked?"
"I-I think so I. I'm not to sure.. I-"
"well please go check on the door"
"I don't want to leave Frankie, Please dont make me leave Frankie"

"Mr Way, he will be fine. Please the paramedics need to get to you both"
"ok"

I got up and ran to the front door where it was unlocked.
Then Ran back to Frankie.

"please Baby hold on, I know you can do it. I promise Frankie. I'll be there when you wake up.. please wake up" I cried as the paramedics rushed in with a
strecher

I hung the phone up and moved so they could get to Frankie.

"Please you have to save him" I cried having one of them pull me aside.

"Now do you have any idea why Frankie did what he did?"
"uhh We were making out down stairs and he just started freaking out then he locked himself in here and I..-"
"can I get some help over here please" The paramedic said to the other.

I watched as they lifted him on a strecher.
He looked lifeless.. He looked nothing at all like my Frankie.
What had happened to him. He looked so so so pale.

"Do you wanna ride in the ambulance or do you-"
"Yes please"
My eyes were drawen to the fact that Frankie looked so dead.. That most deffiantly wasn't my Frankie.
He needed some help. He needed urgent help. Why did he so that? Why would he do that? I Like Frankie. I want him in my life for.. I want to be with him

We were at the hospital where they ran with Frankie into intensive Care
I followed him standing directly behind him pulling his hair from his face

"Come on Frankie.. You can wake up Frankie... You can do it" I wispered to him.
The doctors began working on him.

there were far to many people in there so I went and sat in the waiting room.

"Is there anything you want Sir?"
"My boyfriend to be ok" wow that felt extremly weird calling him my boyfriend... It kind of felt like I really liked it.
"They are a fine team in there. Im sure he'll be fine"
"Yeah. Frankie doesn't give in, not easily"
"Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"uhh point me in the direction of a good coffee place"

The reception lady pointed down the hall.

"Go to the end of the coradoor take a left into the lifts and go to the scecond floor. When you get out go left again its simple from there"
"Ok thank you very much"
"Your very welcome sir"

I followed her directions and ended up in the cafe.
I looked at the sandwhiches and found a vegeterian club sandwhich picked it up and ordered a mocha.

"is that it?"
"Uhhh yeah and a fruit salad please" I said as she handed it all over
"thats nine dollars and fifty eight cents"
I handed over my card in a hurry to get back to Frankie.

"Thank you sir, have a good day"

I rushed back down out the place and followed what seemed to be the yellow brick road when i came back to the emergency place.
I noticed Frankies room was pretty vacant. Just two doctors and my Frankie.

"how. how is he?"
"Hes stable. He Sound asleep but we are going to have to keep him in for observation for a few days" I take it the head doctor. informed us.
"Well I'm going to stay here untill I take him home"
"I'm pretty sure he'll manage"
"no, I promised him, I wont let anything hurt him and I wont leave him"
"Ok then well, I guess we'll leave you too it"
"Thank you so much for saving my Frankie.. I can never thank you enough"
"Its ok Kid.. Its our job. we have cases like that every day"
"ok thank you very much" I said sitting down next to Frankie

I looked at his beautiful face. He was sound asleep.
he looked like he was just so peaceful. Frankie. My Baby.

"Frankie... Wake up please Honey wake up"
Who am I kidding. he cant hear me.

"Frankie.... Please if you can hear me. Please wont you wake up.. I can live with you staying here a couple of days. But i need some answers Honey.
I don't see why you would do that."

I sat there drinking my mocha looking at Frankie.
my back to the window and my hand wrapped up in his.

"Frankie.. I-I want you- Frankie, I need you to wake up please"

I kissed his cheek.
Again, and again, and again, and again some more.

"Frankie... I need you to know something. I think this is easier now that your not awake. Frankie I. I know how stupid this would sound if you could hear me"
I said with tears falling from my face

"Frankie... I-I-I love you.. So much, I love you Frankie Iero. You make me feel like I don't have problems, Like I don't... Frankie I love you" I cried putting
my head next to his.

"...So much Frankie.. and I'm sorry if you dont feel the way I feel. But I don't care. I do and thats all that matters"
I kissed his cheek once again.

"Your so beautiful Frankie, I can't believe I found you. nothing else matters to me aslong as I have you"

I sat there with my head on my arms....

I just wanted my Frankie to wake up right now.

I sat with his hand in mine and in my other hand was my drink.
I was nearly finished it and I was going to eat my fruit salad and hopefully rest up.
And have Frankie wake up.

Parts of me didnt want to eat.. But my stomach suggested other wise.
I opened the salad and sat there eating.. Daydreaming about what Frankies reaction would have been if he'd heard my little confession.
Would he be happy with it?
Would he be shocked? I guess I'll never really know.

When he wakes up.. Thats when I'm going to know..
Wow I need to pee really bad.

"Frankie, I'm just going to the bathroom.. I'll be back in a second Babe" I said kissing his cheek.
I walked down the main road place.

"uhh excuse me?" I said standing at the information desk.
"Yes sir?"
"Where is a bathroom around here?"
"Just at the end of this coradoor, And the first left on the corner"
"Ok, thank you very much" I said walking fastly to the bathroom.

Oh god, That felt so much better. I haven't pissed in all of today!
I washed my hands and left again.
I went for a walk down the hospital shop.. Where it was full of gifts. Cards. Food. Flowers. Baby clothes. just praticly everything you could think a
hospital shop could have.

I looked at the flowers. They had white and Red roses. On the white there was splashes of pink.. They were so pretty.

"Excuse me?"
"Yeah son?"
"How much are your roses?" I asked hoping they wern't too much.. if they were I was still gonna get them for Frankie.
"For what ones dear?"

"uhh The white and red ones"
"they are fourty eight dollars and three cents"
"Can I have them please?"
"Sure.. Any spacific color for the ribbon?"
"...." fuck whats his favorite col-
"PINK!.. I mean, Pink, please"

"Sure thing love" she said pulling a long piece of pink ribbon.

My only thoughts were being with Frankie. Who had a lot of questions to answer. I.. Why would he hurt himself. Why didn't he know I love him.
Why didn't I just tell him, whats he ment to be a mind reader? god this is all my fault! it should be me laying in that hospital bed. Not Frankie.
This is all my fault, i obviously pressured him into making out with me.
God im such an idiot.

"love?"
"Yeah..?"
"Fourty eight dollars and three cents"
"Oh. Right" I said handing over my money.
"Have a good day"
"I hope to"

I took my phone from my pocket to check the time.
Ha, Five missed calls. all from Mom and Dads New Zealand number.. Wonder what they want.

I walked into Frankies room to see him on his side. He wasn't awake but he'd moved... It was great.
The doctors had giant bandages around his wrist. Jumping out from them were all these giant slashes on Frankies wrists. I can believe he could put himself
through that. Hes such a perfect fucking princess. I love him so much.
Theres nothing I wont do for him.

If I had to choose him over Mikey I know what my choice would be, it wouldn't be my own flesh and blood.

I lay Frankies flowers on his table and sat there reading The Amazing Spiderman for about the hundredth time.
ha. No matter how many times I read this it still feels like I've got no idea what I'm reading about.

"Can I help you boy?" this rough spoken voice inturupted me.
"No thanks I'm fine" I smiled looking up to find two rough looking people standing at Frankies door.
"can I help you?" i asked returing the question
"yes you can"
"Good. What would that be?" I asked hoping for these people to fuck off leaving me to my comic, My Frankie. and my inner thoughts.
"why are you sitting in a room with my son?"

I began choking on my siliva. My mouth ran dry, my heart stopped beating.

"You fucking pigs!" I said standing up to walk over by them.
"I beg-"
"Frankie is nothing but a nice kid. You use and abuse him. lied to him and took advatage of him. You call your self parents. Your nothing but scum!"
"and who are you Franks coach?"
"No, I'm Frankies friend, You know he is aloud one"
"Frank has no friends"
"Well your wrong about that. I'm sorry but I want to be left alone with Frankie now, I'm asking you both to please leave"
"You cant do that, we're his parents"
"Are you going to tell the police that when your both done for rape!" I said quietly so others didn't hear.

Their faces changed when they knew Frankie had told me.

"come on, we're going" the man wispered to Frankies Mom.

I Shut the door as soon as they left.
Fucking no good, Fucking scum. Lieing, cheating. I cant believe I met them and Frankie wasn't even awake.

I sat by Frankies bed taking some paper from the draw next to him and an orange crayon that was all ready here and started thinking about Frankies guitar
Pansy.. I remembered what she looked like and began drawing her. Drawing her body first then her neck. I finialy got down to the more detailed parts.
Like all the nobs and switches on her.

When I was done it looked just like her, Except she wasnt orange.

I put the drawing on Frankies draws under the flowers I got him.
Fuck I'm falling asleep, I need coffee.

I walked back to the cafeteria and ordered a double coffee with only two sugars so I was more awake and alert.

The walk back to Frankies room seemed to take fucking forever. I can't believe I came in contact with Frankies parents.
After everything they put him through then the come to the hospital.
I hope I did the right thing in telling them to fuck off... I hope thats what he would have wanted...
I'm sure it was. Course it was
He hated them.

I sat back at Frankies side sipping on my coffee.
His nurse came back in with his chart.


"Is he ok.. I mean like. Is he in a coma or what?" I asked curiously for some answers
"Hes not in a coma.. But hes just in intense sleep"
"What does that mean?"
"It means.. If you wern't so brave and didnt ring 911 when you did you probably wouldn't be sitting next to him in that bed" She said filling something in
"Why cause he wouldn't be here?"
"no, he'd be dead"

That fucking freaked me out... Life with out Frankie, Now thats something I'll NEVER experience.

"Do you have any idea when Frankies going to wake up?"
"To be honest kid.. I personaly think it will be very very soon. Any time from now, Untill maybe 1 am tomorrow"
"You really think so?!" I said smiling.
"I may be wrong, but thats what I think"
"Oh, Thank you so much, You've made my day"
"Well I like to bring happieness to this hospital"
"How is all his things going.. Like his temp and what not"
"Very well, Thats why I think he'll be awake very soon"
"Oh.."

I turned to Frankie.

"Please baby, please wake up now. come on... You can do it" I said over his body.
I took his hand in mine again.

"Well I'll leave you two alone now"
"Ok, thank you very much"
"Your welcome"

I turned back to Frankie....

"When you wake up Frankie.. I'm gonna be right here" I said kissing his cheek.

I began re-sipping my coffee. I knew I was in for a long night.
I started singing All I Want For Christmas Is You to him, Don't ask me why. I don't think I even know.

Something got tighter around my hand. and no, it wasn't my coffee cup.
It was Frankie! he was squeezing my hand!!!

"Frankie.. Frankie?"

His eyes began to flicker.

"...Gerard..." he said so weakly looking round for me.
"I'm here Frankie, I'm here" I said rubbing his arm...
"Gerard.. Where am I?" he finialy asked looking around
"Your in hospital Honey.. Why-"
"Gerard.. I am so so so honestly sorry I never ment to hurt you"
"What about you Frankie.. You hurt you and that hurt me"

"I'm so sorry.. I thought I was pressuring you into something you didn't want to do.. and I felt bad. like I was raping you"
"Frankie. It wouldn't have been rape"
"What?"
"Its not rape if its enjoyed" I said pushing his hair from his face.
"You want me?"
"... So fucking bad"
"I want you too Gerard"

I lent over him and pecked his lips a little.
He had the biggest smile streached across his face.

"But I do have some not great news"
"You have to go home?"
"no.. Your parents came in"
"You can't let them take me Gerard" he said clutching onto my hand.
"No, i told them to fuck off"
"You stood up to my parents?"
"Yeah, I thought you wouldn't want them here"
"Well you thought right"
"They didnt really wanna leave"

"I could imagen.. Thank you so much Gerard.."
"What for?"
"Not letting them stay"
"Its ok"

Sorry this chapter was so long.. I'll continue to put more chapters up tomorrow as this is all I've been doing today.
Thank you so much for reading so far
R&R?
Love, Brit