Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

I Would Rather Have No One

by mysilentromance 3 reviews

Ray realizes that his only friend is no longer who he thought he was

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Angst - Characters: Ray Toro - Published: 2010-03-13 - Updated: 2010-03-13 - 514 words - Complete

Through the joyous memories, you were there. Through the laughter, you were there. Through the smiles, you were there.

Through the dejected memories, though you were not aware, you were there. Through the hurt, you were there. Through the loneliness, you were there.

But through the present, you never show.

And as time passes, I become more attentive of how you seem to drift away. With me, you are empty. With others, you are complete. But with no one are you yourself, for you destroyed your inner being long ago.

I am confused to whether the recent events have corrupted you, or if you have corrupted them. Though I was once sure, I have come to the realization that I cannot be sure of anything involving the order of that which involves you. I do not know how or why you have changed your inner self, but I do understand that you are no longer the one you used to be.

I know that you are truly not the same, for you would have never treated me the way you do. Never would you have thought of me as a lesser individual. But you do now. And although you do not say so aloud, it is written in your eyes each time you glance down upon me.

I am no longer worthy of you presence, as the others are. You make this quite obvious each time you associate with me. You would rather be with them, but you make it seem as if it is my doing that you cannot. And I suppose in a sense that it is, being that I am not fond of others. But I do not force you away from them. Never have I done so. Yet, you still view it as such.

And though you cause me much grief, I cannot leave. You have others to rely on; I do not. If I were to abandon you, it would inflict more distress upon me than it would you. Though recently you have been distant, you have always kept me sane. And I fear that if I were to depart from you, my sanity would not follow. It would remain with you.

And although I will never leave you, I am certain that you soon will abandon me. But I do not fear this scenario, for you are nearly gone already. I have had time to prepare for your departure. It will not surprise me the slightest when you decide to leave completely.

I imagine that I may even be content after you depart. I might even experience a feeling of relief when you are gone, for I will no longer have to see that I am unwanted by you. And though I may have no one after your departure, I believe that I will prefer it that way. I would have no one to abandon me. I would have no one to tell me that I am unworthy. I would have no one to cause me misery.

And I would rather have no one than to have you.
Sign up to rate and review this story